


Saints Behaving Badly

by Ofmanynames



Series: Sinning Saints [1]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-31 10:44:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 48
Words: 113,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofmanynames/pseuds/Ofmanynames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were suppose to be simple, a list was made and a kept list means less anxiety. Angelique was supposed to become a famous ballerina and a trophy wife. Instead, she's on the run from her father's debts, running with a gang, losing parts of herself and falling in love with a man who lies about everything to her. Part 1 of a 5 part series. Please enjoy and comment!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

 

Stilwater was a disgusting city; it was probably named that to mimic the stagnant odor the city seemed to have. If I had a choice, I would have never set foot in this place. It was riddled with crime, gangs controlled the streets, just in moving in to this little shit hole I managed to rent, I had almost gotten shot four times. I would probably get shot at again today.

My tiny bathroom had barely enough room for me stand as I applied makeup. Unlike most women, I wasn't trying to make myself look prettier, I was masculinizing myself. When I had first come to this city, I found myself attracting too much unwanted attention. I had trouble with the Vice Kings at first when they thought I was one of their street walkers. That meant I couldn't wear yellow or my usual clothing, so I switched out my outfits for men's clothing. Then I ran into problems with the los carnales because of my hair. Not enough people had ever seen a non-white person with naturally red hair and explaining about recessive genes while avoiding a beat down was ridiculous, which led to me dying my hair black. My hair had been too damn long to dye it all, so I chopped off the majority of it. I mourned the loss of it having never cut it before but it helped with my disguise.

Combined with my impressive height of 6'2", baggy clothes and dark skin, I looked like a badass dude. If I kept my head down, people left me the hell alone. I also found that the hoes were more likely to talk to me if they thought I was a buyer. I knew my sister was in this city somewhere whoring her drug addicted ass out and finding her was a pain in mine. Makeup done, I styled my hair so that it fell around my face in an unflattering way. I pulled on my leather jacket, tucking my Sig Sauer P226R into my belt hostler.

I spent the day trying to find anyone that knew Babette, dodging angry pimps and Vice Kings alike but to no avail. I gave up when the sky started to darken, my stomach killing me. I decided to head over to Freckle Bitches, having found the joy in their food. Seriously, it was like crack, although knowing this city, it probably did have crack in it.

I sighed as I realized I was down to my last hundred dollars, I didn't know what the hell to do for money. I was still pissed my hair hadn't bought in much money, apparently ginger didn't sell that well. I didn't have any skills and I had no idea if my new ids would come off as legal. Maybe I could get hired at Freckle Bitches; at least I would get free food then. I ignored the man hocking watches as I walked home and stopped by Miss J, a regular on this block.

"Hey little man," She snickered, "you doing good tonight?" Miss J had been the one to give me pointers on how to talk to the hookers around the city and how to hide from the gangs while I did so. I pulled out my wallet taking out one of the few pictures I had of my sister. She had promised to spread it around and give me a heads up. There was a sound of fighting up the block. "Shit, this isn't good." There was a gang of Rollerz fighting with Vice Kings when a car full of Carnales pulled up. There was gun fire everywhere, a Rollerz ran pass the two of us carrying a rifle. I took off at the sight only to be clipped by a car that crashed. I fell to the ground, my side killing me.

"Wrong time, wrong place, dawg." A Vice King pointed a gun at me, I threw a hand up as a shot went off. The gangbanger slumped to the ground behind him a white boy held a smoking gun as an older black man approached me.

"You okay, playa?" The man asked me, helping me to my feet. Half carrying me away from the burning car and dead bodies, the stink of burning flesh making me ill.

"Julius, let's move." The white boy said as he scanned the area, his gun held out to shoot anyone who moved. The three of us stumbled as the car exploded, I would have been killed if they hadn't moved me. The man, Julius helped me across the street, setting me down against a wall.

"That don't look so bad, you should be fine." He said after looking at my bruised side. "That's Troy," He pointed to the white boy whose back was to me, "you can thank him later."

"Hey." Troy turned back to the two of us, giving me a good look at him. He was no damn boy that was for sure. He had to be at least ten years older than me, brown hair that begged to have hands run through it and a goatee that would feel just right when kissed.

"The Row ain't safe no more, son. We got gangs fightin' over shit that ain't theirs and you in the way. They don't care if you representin' or not." I tried to interrupt him but Troy beat me to it.

"Julius there's no time to recruit." I could hear sirens in the distance.

"We need all the help we can get son."

"No we need to get our asses out of here."

"In a minute." Julius looked annoyed to be interrupted. "Look, the Row's got a problem. Come to the church when you wanna be a part of the solution." The pair of them took off leaving me sitting there. I clutched my side as I stumbled home, making sure to lock my door. I stared at the wall, my head hurting from today's events. Why couldn't my sister have gone to a calmer city? I was still staring when someone knocked at my door.

"You dropped this, child." Miss J stood there with my wallet in hand.

"Thanks." I said as I let her in for a cup of coffee, it was the least I could do. "What the hell happened out there?"

"Just another day," she sighed, "Gangs have been tearing this city a part for years, the ones who helped you are the newest, they call themselves the Saints."

"Somehow I doubt they are." I muttered.

"You know, they might be able to help you. Julius is a good man; he's really trying to help the city unlike the other gangs."

"There's one problem. I think they think I'm a guy." The hooker's laughter didn't help my self-esteem at all.

XXX

The church in question was one of the oldest in the city, right in the heart of the Row. There was a crowd in the courtyard, all of them wearing some purple; I stood out like a sore thumb in all black.

"Every muthafucka here knows what we need to do. Those bitches be ridin' around, thinkin' they own these streets. I don't care what flags they're flyin'... Rollerz, Carnales, Vice Kings... no one's makin' this nigga scared to walk the Row. We 'bout to lock this shit down... right now." Julius stood on the steps of the church as he gave his speech, Troy at his side. The bad English made me wince, I wasn't the best with the language but years of schooling left me judging him. The saints cheered in response until one of them glared at me.

"Who the fuck is this guy?" The glaring saint pointed at me, I opened my mouth to correct him, only to be cut off.

"Troy and I found him, I was gonna see if he'd ride with us."

"Her." I squeaked out but everyone ignored me.

"Julius, if he wants to run with the Saints he's gotta be canonized."

"He's right, Julius. Everyone had to do it."

"You ready for this, playa?" The gang made a circle much like kids at a fight in school.

"Merde." I swore as the first person came at me. I was good at fighting; I had to be growing up. As the kid from the most fucked up family in school, I had often been the target for bullying. I had learned the hard way, my ass had gotten kicked until I learned not to get hit. I fought dirty, pulling ears and hair tossing my opponents into each other. I went for the knees, knowing how easy they were to take out. The last person got in a lucky hit, leaving my head ringing as they went down from a kick in the nuts. I waited for more to come at me, only to have Troy walk smiling over.

"You earned your colors today." He clasped my hand, doing one of those man-shakes I never understood.

"That's some impressive shit; the only other Saint who kicked ass like that was Johnny." Another man walked over and clapped me on the back.

"Shit, took me half the time." Johnny smiled cockily at me. I blinked back at him unable to speak past my dry throat. Apparently the Saints were just chock full of hot guys. Julius stood before the crowd giving a speech while all I could think what the hell did I just get into?


	2. Chapter 2

I was torn between punching Troy in the face or just out right flashing him. It was really starting to get to me that none of these jackasses realized I was female. Miss J had warned me to let them know in a nice way, realize their mistake on their own as they might get angry thinking I meant to make fools of them. I hadn’t worn any makeup today and my clothes had been more gender neutral but no one said anything. I had caught Dex looking at me several times but he didn’t say anything.

Since puberty had kicked my ass, making me the tallest girl in school and forgetting the rest of the girly stuff, I had been overly sensitive on my lack of feminine traits, which included my damn voice.  It was one of the reasons I had never cut my hair, always dressed overly provocative and learned to do everything in stilettos.  

The two of us were walking to his car to do some shit; I was too busy fuming to pay attention really.

“Hey kid, you drive?”

“Not very well, plus I don’t have my license.” He laughed at my answer.

“Kid, you’re in a gang now, legalities are the least of your problems.” He shook his head at me as I buckled up. “Man, you have a lot to learn. Where you from anyhow?”

“Family’s from Bordeaux but I’ve lived in New Orleans since I was five.”

“Surprised you have such a thick accent.”

“My parents refused to let me speak English at home. I will kill the first person who makes a frog joke or that damn laugh.” I gripped the bar over the window as he took a sharp turn. “For fuck’s sake, is there some emergency I don’t know of?”

“Listen kid,” he paused as he looked at me. “What the hell is your name anyhow?”

“Angelique Montague.” I almost stumbled over my last name, still not used to the change.

“Angelique? What’s that like little Angel in French?”

“Petit ange is little angel. Angelique means messenger of god.”

“Good thing you joined the Saints then.” The car came to an abrupt stop leaving me thankful I had put the belt on. “You got a nickname, yours sounds too much like a girl’s name.” I could only blink at him. There was no way anyone could be this dense. “Just saying.” He shrugged as he got out. We were at a store called Friendly Fire. The shops in this city were so weirdly named. The owner of the store nodded to Troy when we walked in. “Okay, let’s get you a piece.”

“I have a gun already.” I picked up some ammo, dropping it on the counter. He held out his hand, I sighed and gave him my gun. He checked it over, scraping a nail over a spot of blood I missed, popping out the empty clip.

“You’ve been carrying around an empty gun? What were you going to do, throw it at people?”

“Sometimes the threat of violence is more effective than actual violence.” I shrugged as I put it back in its holster.

“There’s dried blood on this, when was the last time you cleaned it?”

“I don’t know how to clean a gun, it was mon père.” At his look, I rushed to correct myself. “Sorry, father’s, it was his. Can you teach me?”

“Yeah, not a problem.” He stared at me for a moment, he must have seen something on my face as he looked away clearing his throat. I turned away and handing the owner money for the ammo.

“ID.” I handed it to him, watching in humiliation as he turned it sideways, a telltale sign of how young I was.

“Wait, how the fuck old are you?” Troy yelled at me, reaching for my ID from the owner, I snatched it out of his hands before he could look at it. He grabbed my wrist and tried to pry it out of my hand. I punched him in response, knocking him into a display.

“What happened to not sweating the legalities, Troy?” I mocked him.

“It's not about legalities, the Saints don’t have little kids running around killing.”

“Call me a kid again and I will kick your ass seven ways to Sunday.” I growled.

“She’s almost eighteen, just calm your tits Troy. Now are you buy for her or not? I can’t legally sell to a kid.” The fact I was almost an adult seemed to calm him. He took my money, adding in a cleaning kit and two more boxes of ammo. He didn’t say a word to me as he moody left the store ahead of me. It wasn’t until we were both in the car that he finally spoke.

“Where the fuck are your parents?” I just looked at him in disgust.

“A couple of weeks ago, my father stuck that gun in his mouth and blew his fucking head off.” I fished out my last pack of cigarillos ignoring him as I lit up. I could feel his eyes on me as I smoked.

“Shit, sorry.” I turned, glaring at him.

“I don’t need your fucking pity,” I snarled at him. “You want to do me a favor get me another goddamn pack of cigarillos, no one will sell them to me.” I tapped my smoke, letting the ashes fly in the wind. “Now was a point to this fucking excursion or not?” My surliness amused him.

“We’re going to clear out some VK’s from the area.” He went to start the car but stopped and stared at me intensely. He muttered something under his breath before reaching out and taking my chin in hand. He turned my face one way then another, he ran his thumb over my lower lip. Blood rushed to my checks fast enough to make me feel dizzy and my stomach full of butterflies. “Huh, can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier, explains the name.” He turned away, almost killing us as he pulled into traffic.

XXX

“Oh, look at this cracker rolling up in here. Another faggot bitch here get their ass kicked.” One of the VKer’s said when they saw Troy’s colors. They were ignoring me so far, probably due to my neutral colors.

“Oh shut up.” I muttered as I shot the loud mouth in the chest, there was a sickening wet sound as the bullet went through him. The other rushed out, firing their guns, all held sideways and shooting like stormtroopers. The one that I shot had had a bat, picking it up I started breaking knees, followed by blows to the head. The sidewalk was painted with blood and thicker fluids as the VK’s died. I leaned against a wall, my heart raced as adrenaline rushed through my system. That had felt good, so very good. The feel of the bat as it connected had sent vibrations up my arms, the sound of the pained grunts had been like music and the way the light in their eyes died as they did was… orgasmic. I had always enjoyed fighting growing up, especially once I started winning the fist fights. This had felt better than any time with my boyfriends. I watched Troy, my eyes half closed as I rode my high as he looted the bodies. I was hoping he was going to give me some of that money. That ammo and stuff had taken me down to my last twenty.

“You okay?”

“I’m fan-fucking-tastic.” I giggled as I light up another cigarillo.

“Jesus, you look like you just got fucked.” He shook his head at me.

“Troy, if getting fucked left me feeling this good, I wouldn’t get out of bed, or against a wall, or off my knees.” I drawled as pushed off the wall. “We should totally hit Freckle Bitch’s. Let’s the VK’s car, not like they’re going to need it.” I took the keys off one of the bodies and tossed them to him. As we got in the car he shook his head.

"You've obviously been fucking the wrong people."

"You offering to fix that?" I teased. The look he gave me was a strange one, like he had no idea how to answer that. He looked away, focusing on the road, managing not hit anything.

“Have you ever killed before?”

“Nope but let me tell you, that definitely won’t be the last time.” I could feel a goofy smile on my face.

“Jesus, just what we need in the world, a female Gat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit about Ang's ID may need some explaining for those who do not live in areas that do this. Where I live, they make the IDs for under 21 read from top to bottom instead of left to right, this makes it easier to card people. This is an example one from PA (It's missing the holographic that shows all the cities): https://goo.gl/vvzp07


	3. Chapter 3

Growing up, I never had a need to learn marketable skills. I had grown up with the knowledge that one day I would have access to my sizable trust fund. A trust fund that had given me monthly stipends reasonable enough that I could have been living in one of the nice places of this city had my father not screwed everything up.

Finding out that I had some skill that was worthwhile to others made me feel the best I had in months. Today was shaping up to be the best day ever. Troy still hadn't explained what his comment about me being like Gat meant yet, but if I was reading it right, apparently it was a bad thing. I watched him as he talked on his cell outside the restaurant, every so often he would look at me before glancing away shaking his head. The high from killing had finally dissipated, leaving me feeling hollow and really freaking embarrassed. I couldn't believe what I had said to Troy, I could barely look him in the eye now. The more time that passed, the more I wanted to hide under the table.

There were reasons I didn't engage in recreational drugs or drink often, I became a babbling idiot. My sister was the same way when she was high, so giggly and practically bouncy. I wasn't a prude when it came to sex, it was impossible to be when I had grown up in a house with two sluts; I just never actively sought it. Almost every encounter I had with guys only happened because of liquid courage. I blamed him for this. I didn't let people touch me often or ever really. When he rubbed my lip like he did, it had sent shivers down my spine and also… I sifted in my seat. Yeah, it had left me soaking. Was it just from the killing that left me feeling this way? Could you become aroused from killing? Was it a combo? I wished I could talk to her and find out if this feeling was normal. Killing those people should bother me, shouldn't it? I should not be sitting here thinking about sex. I should be here thinking about my immortal soul and the consequences of murder. I couldn't finish that thought without snickering.

"You didn't eat any of my fries did you?" Troy asked as he slid into the booth across from me.

"Nope." I said as I reached over and took a few fries from him.

"Touch my fries again and I'll put you over my knee." He threatened me with a fry. I felt myself blush, unable to form a reply as my mind supplied a graphic image of the two of us naked; me sprawled across his lap and I bet under those clothes, he would be fit. "Are you blushing?" His laugh made it worse. I looked away from him, only to have him turn my face back to him. "Well shit you are."

"Shut up." I slapped his hand away causing him to laugh more and my blush to worsen. Was it possible to dying from embarrassment?

"You're adorable." I groaned and hid my face in my hands. I felt more than saw him get up. I peeked up at him, still hiding my blushing face. He threw our trash away and motioned for me to follow. "So why are you dressed as a guy? You a dyke?" He asked once we were outside.

"What? No! Other people's vaginas are weird and disgusting; the only one I ever want to see or play with is my own." I literally felt nauseous of the idea of me with another girl. The one and only time I had tried it, it had ended embarrassingly. "It's not like I like dressing like this, it's just that most people don't pay attention to me when I'm like this, you wouldn't have noticed if that teller hadn't said anything."

"I would have notice eventually." He tilted my chin up and did that thing again where he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. "Even though you pitch your voice lower, you still squeak like a girl. Plus your hands are too soft for a guy."

"I do not squeak."

"Yeah you do. Look kid, you're a Saint now, you don't have to hide if you don't want to. We take care of our own." He put his arm around me, hugging me to his side. I slapped his hand away when he ruffled my hair. "Come on, we're meeting up with Julius. I got a tip a little war is breaking out. It's a perfect time to take back the Row."

XXX

Maybe it was just me, but when fighting rival gangs, one shouldn't wear nothing but your colors as it made you a target. The gangs didn't really look at each, just the see the colors and take a shot. The streets were a mess, all three gangs running around killing each other. It was easier to wait for the other gangs to be distracted and shoot them in the back than to make myself an active target. The last of them went down or ran from the area, just as I heard sirens.

"Kid, let's go." Julius called out to me. The three of us piled into the car and I held on for dear life as Troy drove. After ten minutes I was pretty sure I would have rather have the cops arrest me than be in the car. We parked outside the church, I sat down on the broken wall taking deep breaths. "You did good kid, you okay?"

"His driving is going to kill me. Seriously how the hell did you ever get a license?"

"Easy, I never bothered getting one." He laughed at the expression on my face. "Come on, speech time." The church was full of saints with Julius standing up by the altar. As he gave his speech, I had to hand it to him, he was charismatic, his speech even made me feel a little bit excited. I listened as he doled out assignments to his people, Troy objected to handling the Vice Kings while Johnny seemed more than happy to take his place, he seemed a little too happy to have the chance to kill people. The others didn't seem to judge him for it either. Maybe I could talk to him about what happened?

A woman named Lin was put in charge of the Rollerz, I almost cheer when she punched the asshole that made a joke at her and Johnny was right, she did throw her shoulder too much. "So who's the new girl?" She asked jerking a finger at me. I fought the urge to duck my head as everyone looked at me. "Wait, you guys seriously didn't realize?" She started laughing.

"She looks like a guy, it's not like we were going to double check."

"No wonder Aisha left you Johnny."

"That's a low blow." The Saints kind of wandered way after that, Johnny went off with Lin, the two of them talking in hushed tones. Dex took off with Julius talking over some plans. I didn't know what to do and stood there like a spaz.

"Come on Ang, I'll give you a lift home." Troy called over to me.

"Ang? Seriously?" I glared at him. I hated nicknames.

"No one is going to remember Angelique, they'll all end up calling you Angel or Angie or something like that. Ang fits, it shortens your name and doubles for Angel."

"Over my dead body." I growled.


	4. Chapter 4

"You really live in this shithole?" Troy said as he brushed past me as I unlocked the door. I had accepted the ride home but I hadn't invited him in. I watched him in amazement at how bold he was as he looked over my place.

"Come in Troy, make yourself at home." I said as sarcastically as possible.

"Thanks I will." My place was tiny, I barely had room for the bed that came with the place as it was, I had to be careful when opening the oven as I had already burnt one blanket already. "Seriously, could this place be any smaller?" He said as he sat down on my bed, which really was the only place to sit as it took up half the place.

"It's not easy finding a place that rents to minors." I closed the door, fighting the urge to slam it. He was starting to really get on my nerves. I ignored him as I moved into the kitchen area and took out my last bottle of brandy from the cupboard that was next to empty.

"Do you want a glass?" I tried not to sigh when he said he did. I had only offered it out of politeness. I poured two glasses and sat down on the other side of the bed after handing it to him. I left like a bug under a magnifying glass as he watched me, this was a level of awkward I had never experienced before. I stared at him in horror as he downed half the snifter in a gulp. "What the hell are you doing?" I snatched the glass away from him. "You do not drink brandy like that." I cradled the glass glaring at him.

"It's just liquor, Ang."

"Brandy is a sipping drink, you want to go down something, go drink whiskey or something." I handed it back to him. "You hold the glass like this and gently swirl it, letting it become warmer." I showed him the proper way. "You take sips of it, letting the flavors embrace you." I took a sip of mine, savoring the taste of raisins and burnt caramel. This was one of my favorite brandies, the Spanish knew their stuff.

"I've got nothing." He said after a moment.

"Philistine." I bitched at him. We sat in silence the two of us drinking. After a few minutes I started feeling better and not so anxious. "So why did you have to follow me home?"

"It was your first time; I wanted to make sure you were okay. Some people take killing badly."

"How did you take it?" He shrugged, moving further onto the bed so that he could lean against the wall.

"Didn't really think too hard about it, most of what we do is self preservation. These gangs would kill us faster than we can blink, I see no problem with killing them first." He finished off his drink. "You got more?" I rolled my eyes and retrieved the bottle.

"Along with another pack, you are going to owe me another bottle."

"Yeah, yeah. I can spare a few bucks for it, but you know, you really shouldn't be drinking." The dismissive way he said it made me wish I could see his face when he realized how expensive the stuff really was. "Some people take killing badly, knew a guy who blew his open head off after his first time, couldn't handle the guilt." I looked away from him, recalling how wonderful it had felt. "Stop that."

"What?"

"You were chewing on your lip, it's distracting." He reached over and I grabbed his hand before he could run his thumb over said lip.

"Don't do that." His smile made me blush again. "I enjoyed killing them." I confessed quickly. "I never felt anything like it." My breath caught in my throat. "I should be feeling guilty but I don't." I left out the part where I was aroused by it. I still wasn't sure if it was from the killing or him. "There's something wrong with me, isn't there?" He moved the bottle out of the way and scooted close to me so that he could put his arm around me, I ended up with my head on his chest. It had been a long time since anyone had held me and I couldn't help relaxing against him.

"Nothing's wrong with you Ang." He ran his a hand through my hair. "People have been killing each other ever since there was more than one. We just started enforcing morals against killing so we'd feel guilty about it and not wipe everyone out. You only feel guilty because that's what you've been taught." His answer made sense. I had heard similar arguments in my philosophy classes and it had made sense there too. He kept stroking my hair as we just sat there in silence. It was silly but he made me feel safe, I hardly knew him. I felt myself growing tired, the steady beating of his heart lulling me to sleep. I felt him run his knuckles against my cheek and say my name.

"Sorry." I said as I sat up. "Long day."

"I know what you mean." He got off the bed and smiled down at me. "Come to the church tomorrow." He said as I walked him to the door. "No more hiding either. I want to see you, the real you. Got me?" He tipped my chin up. "I bet you're cute when clean up." He kissed me on the cheek before turning to leave.

XXX

One of the things that always calmed my anxiety was cleaning. Cleaning always had a visible effect on the world around me; it was probably why I was always a slob. Couldn't find Babette again? Oh look, my tiny bathroom was sparkly clean and smelling of lemons. Fridge empty because I was out of money? Gee, golly whiz, my floor was now waxed and all my light fixtures were pristine.

Joining the Saints and wanting to make an impression? Every piece of jewelry shone and my leather shoes were treated and my closet color coordinated. Trying to figure how what the hell happened last night and can't? I got nothing. My place was already spotless and there was nothing left for me to do.

I wanted to look good today, more than that, with Saint protection I could be myself. I mourned my long hair but it had been necessary, as it was my hair wanted to poof up leaving me cursing my genetics for not having ma mere hair. Her hair had been black as night and so silky as typical of those of Indian descent. Babette had inherited it while I had Papa's curly ginger. Without the mass amount of gel I looked like orphan Annie. I searched my makeup case for anything purple, and like I thought, found nothing, with my coloring I usually stuck to neutrals. I ended up only using lip stick that gave my lips a permanent wet look to them. Maybe that would discourage Troy from playing with my lip. My outfit du jour was a black spaghetti top and a black pleated skirt that came down just far enough to leave me something to sit on. It was all topped off with my favorite pair of patent leather stilettos.

I gave an experimental whirl in front of the mirror and smiled at the result. There was no way anyone was going to mistake me for a man today. I picked up my bag and skipped out of my place.

XXX

"Have you seen any of the lieutenants by chance?" I asked one of the saints as soon I stepped into the church. Unfortunately it was the saint that Lin had punched yesterday.

"Tell you what sweet thang, I'm man enough to handle your needs." I barely managed not to roll my eyes as he stepped up to me walking in that weird swagger some men did. "You looking sweet, how about you give me some sugar?" I replied in what was the most appropriate way: I punched him. I had put enough force behind it that he fell on his ass; I stood over him and held my foot against his throat.

"Let me explain something to you. Not every woman likes being harassed; you couldn't arouse me even if I beat you to death with your own arm." I smiled down at him as his face started to turn red.

"You would have thought after Lin kicked his ass, he would learn." A voice behind me startled me enough that I took my foot off of him. He rolled away, coughing and choking in air. I turned to find the badger guy behind me. Johnny was his name I think. "Get your ass out of here," He growled at the guy who scrambled out. He looked me over in a very blatant way that made me blush. "I know you from somewhere don't I?"

"I'm the new girl, the one you didn't realize was a girl," I teased.

"Right, Troy said your name was Ang." I gritted my teeth.

"My name is Angelique."

"Nah, I'll stick with Ang. Don't you own anything other than black?"

"Of course I do but I have a theory, you ever notice that the gangs don't look at you, they just look at the colors? Dressed like this, they take a moment to figure you out."

"Yeah, I see what you're saying. You looking like that, they wouldn't realize you're a threat until it was too late." He smiled at me. "You could get nice and personal. I like it. Shame I can't use the same tactic." His eyes wandered over me again before waving me to follow. "Come on, we got work to do. You ain't getting paid to be pretty."

"Wait, I get paid?" I asked as I followed only to hear him laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

Three buses and an hour later, I found myself standing outside of Ultor Dome. I would have been there sooner but finding my way around this city was hell. Johnny's directions really hadn't helped.

"It's the big fucking dome, how can you miss it?" I mocked him aloud. "Easy, I'm not from the city you goddamn badger."

"I see someone's met Johnny, guessing his shit directions made you so late?" Lin smiled as she walked up to me. "You got a cig?" I held out my pack for her. "Thanks kid, I'm swear I'm this close to killing every one of them misogynist motherfuckers." She looked me up and down. "How can you walk in those things?"

"Hey, I can outrun a two dollar whore dodging her pimp. How do you keep from popping out?"

"Practice." She cracked a smile. "I'm guessing no one mistook you for a guy today?"

"Surprisingly no. Did almost kill one of the crew though." She shook her head in disgust.

"I bet I know who it was too." She took a moment to light up the cigarillo I gave her. "Johnny give you a phone?" I held up the fancy smart phone he had tossed to me before I left. She took it from me and started doing something with it. "There's shipment of high performance cars coming in today. You're going to jack the truck with the cars and take them here to our boy Samson. He'll load up the cars with a few surprises, then you deliver them. Got it?"

"Sounds good but I have to point out one flaw with your plan." She glared at me.

"What's the problem?"

"I don't know how to drive." The look on her face was almost comical.

"Are you fucking shitting me? How the hell don't you know how to drive? What did you grow up in a cave? How the hell did you get over here from the church?"

"Uh, the bus?"

"Look it's easy, left is brake, right is gas, just keep the wheel straight and don't jerk it too hard." She tossed the phone back to me. "Get some driving lessons from someone but whatever you do, don't let Troy teach you to drive." I watched her leave trying to figure out how I was supposed to do all this. I checked over the instructions Lin had put in the phone. I would need to a car to get to the truck. Now how to get a car?

XXX

"Wow, that's like the prettiest car ever," I pitched my voice higher and twirled a strand of hair around my fingers while donning my most vacant expression. I felt like I should be wearing a blond wig to pull this off right. I was hoping that Lin's assessment of the Rollerz extended to all of them as I chatted up the ugliest one in the parking lot, his car was the only one that looked to be automatic. "It's so shiny."

"It's more than shiny baby girl. This here is a beast." He rambled off some car stats, I didn't have to pretend not to understand.

"Wow, that's like so totally cool. You know, blue's my favorite color." I giggled, I bit my nail while I ran my hand up my thigh, pulling up my skirt a tad. "Think you could give me a nice ride?"

"Hell yeah, girl, where you need to go?"

"Oh not far but I get so tired off walking, I much prefer to ride." I resisted rolling my eyes as he bought the act and opened the car door for me. The car was an automatic with leather interior that stuck to my thighs as I sat down. The car roared as he started it, smiling sleazily at me. I gripped the bar over my seat as he peeled out. I waited until the arena was out of sight and we were stopped at red light before I slipped my gun out of it's holster. "Oh wow, what's that?" I pointed out his window, when he looked I held the gun to the back of his head. "You have a choice, you can get out on your own or I dump your body out."

"Yo you stupid bit-" I pulled the trigger as he reached for his gun, blood and thicker things splattered everywhere. I worked my jaw trying to pop my now deaf ears before pushing his body out of the car after ripping off his bandana. As I wiped blood off myself, I pulled up the phone's GPS and tried my hand at driving.

XXX

"Hey you aren't the usual guy, where's Henry?" A Rollerz asked as I hopped down out of the truck. I raised a brow at him, the guy who had been driving until I pushed him out over the bridge had been named Cid according to his jumpsuit.

"Look, I don't ask questions, I just deliver the cars. Now are you going to sign this or do I have to get someone else to do it?" I snapped in my most authoritative tone I could manage.

"What happened to your grill?"

"You know what I don't need this. I quit." I tossed him the clipboard before leaving the guy standing there. Hopefully the act had been good enough for them to buy. Driving the truck had been insane, I didn't know the first things about gears and had just stuck to what it had been in when I hijacked the thing. I was hoping they would chalk it up to a woman driving if I had ruined it. I ran a hand through my hair, grimacing when I came across a piece of… I looked closer at the bit. I didn't have a clue what it was. I tossed it away from me shuddering as I walked. I opened the envelope the guy had given me when I parked the truck, inside was $500, looks like food was back on the table. The phone I was given was a lifesaver, internet, GPS, full of useful numbers and Angry Birds. I had originally meant to look up food markets but found myself playing Angry Birds. I was in the middle of level 8-10 when I arrived back at the church. I sat down on a tombstone trying to finish the level before I went inside; the damn birds were giving me problems. After four level restarts, I finally killed all the damn pigs but before the victory music could come up a text popped up exiting the game. "No you son of a whore!" The text was from Lin asking me to meet up with her at some nightclub later. I checked the time, I had enough time to get showered and most importantly finish this level again before meeting up with her.

XXX

"What are you a little kid? Can you put that game down for five minutes and pay attention?" Lin snatched the phone out of my hands. She pressed a few buttons and gave it back. She deleted my save file.

"You are a mean lady."

"Yes, I've risen in rank in the Saints by my ability to destroy a gamer's hopes and high scores." She took my hand and dragged me out to the dance floor where she put her arms around me. "Nice work earlier. I had to listen to those assholes for an hour about some bitch ruining their truck."

"So they didn't notice anything?"

"Not a thing. I did hear word of one of their boys found dead on the road though."

"You weren't kidding about them being misogynist, I put on the fakest valley girl act and he just bought it. I did the world a favor."

"The Rollerz aren't known for their smarts." She smiled.

"They know who did it?"

"All they know is he went off with some black chick and was found dead." It was one of my biggest pet peeves to be called black. "You're going to blow their world kid." She gave me the rundown on what had been done to the cars and how we were going to use them.

"Maybe someone else should do the racing?"

"I got you some back up, the perfect person to piss off all the racers. Thanks for the dance kid, appreciate the colors." She remarked on my blue skirt and white top. I had figured that it would help her stay undercover if she I met her in the Rollerz' colors. I ordered a drink at the bar, only to get carded and served a non-alcoholic drink instead. Grumbling I walked out wondering who the annoying person could be.


	6. Chapter 6

Every day you learn something new. Today I was learning so many new things: driving, how to use a fine tooth comb to get brain and bone out of my hair and that it wasn't killing that had turned me on. Sure killing made my pulse race, making me feel like queen of the world but it wasn't what had got my panties soaked. Much to my horror it was Troy, Lin's so called perfect person to piss people off. My reaction to him was horrifying if only because I couldn't control it, the last guy I had gone gaga over was my first boyfriend three years ago and goddamn it I was mature enough not to let some guy effect me.

"Jesus, I'm pretty sure that outfit is illegal in at least three states and those colors have to go." Troy said when he looked me over. Just like my last outfit, my skirt was scandalously short but my new shirt was off one shoulder and only fell to just below my navel. The look in his eyes was so blatant leaving me unsure if I should strike a pose or run for cover. "And what's this?" He stepped up to me, lifting my shirt to expose my navel ring. He ran his fingers over the ring, pulling gently on it. "Didn't know On Thin Ice sold something like this, looks expensive." I slapped his hand away.

"It's platinum and onyx bought by an ex." I snapped. "I do not wear cheap shit."

"And it just happens to be a fleur-de-lis?"

"He was a huge football nut." He gave me a blank look. "The New Orleans Saints? Look you can play cop while we drive." I took the keys out of his hand and got in the driver's seat, he gave me a look as he got in, hitting the lighter as he buckled up. Since he had made fun of me doing it earlier I wondered if I should be offended.

"What was that suppose to mean?" The look he gave me reminded me of an offended cat.

"You ask far too many questions Troy and you're too damn grabby by half. I keep waiting for you to do strip search on me."

"No offence kid, but you're the last person I'd strip search." He said as he lit his cig. Oh now he wanted to be nasty. I took petty pleasure into taking a sharp turn making him slam against his belt, causing him to drop his newly lit cig. "Fuck! Watch the driving." He swatted at the ashes, keeping himself from burning.

"Sorry, still learning how." I smiled sweetly at him. I purposely slammed on the brakes at a red light, jerking him again. "It's only my third time driving."

"How the fuck do you not know how to drive?" The tone of his voice made it seem I had committed a cardinal sin.

"You have to have parental permission to take anything driving related. My father refused to sign off on it. 'Young ladies are simply not meant to drive, Angelique. If you require a ride, I will procure you one.'" I mangled my father's Oxford accent.

"Maybe I should drive then."

"Your job is to piss off the other drivers and get them to use whatever it is. You're really good at pissing people off." I pulled up to the place where the race was supposed to start, there were three other cars, the drivers sitting around talking. I was stuck sitting here with the idiot until it started. There was an awkward silence only broken by the drumming of my nails on the wheel.

"I don't like the idea of Lin going undercover, you roll with people long enough and pretty soon you start thinking like them." Troy remarked as he watched the Rollerz.

"If five years of catholic primary and two years of boarding school taught me anything it's that if you really hate people, no amount of pretending to be their friends will actually make you like them."

"Boarding school? What did you do say a bad word to Daddy?" He mocked me.

"Actually he caught me fucking two guys in my parent's bed." I smiled when he started choking on his smoke. "Oh look the race is starting."

XXX

The race went beautifully, the Rollerz had been bothered by Troy's lame ass taunts and like magic boom they went. I drove back to the church, only rear ending three cars and making him swear no less than nine times. As soon as I stopped he reached over and yanked the keys out.

"You are never driving again." He unbuckled. "You are never getting near a car ever again if I can help it." He stomped out of the car looking pissed. I barely contained my laughter. Our phones both beeped, a text from Dex telling us to meet up with him.

"Need a lift?" I smiled at him.

"That's my car not yours, now get the hell out of my seat."

"Come on, please? I'm having fun driving." He opened my door and jerked his thumb at me.

"Out." I pouted before climbing over to the passenger side, I heard him curse when I ended up flashing him my thong. "Jesus kid, you can't do shit like that."

"What, ask to drive?" I asked innocently as I buckled up.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"No idea Troy." I drew out his name as I ran a hand up my thigh pulling up my skirt to a more obscene level. "You should really keep your eyes on the road." I pointed out when I caught him looking.

"Goddamn kid."

XXX

Not only did Freckle Bitches' make wonderful burgers, they almost made fantastic milkshakes. I had been more than happy to make the food run, with Troy's money, while the guys got themselves set up. Dex and him were talking over a map when I came back over, I was waved over to look at the map. Putting the food down, I hopped on the table sitting cross-legged in front of it. Troy looked me over and shook his head. Reaching into my backpack I pulled out my reading glasses so that I could see what they were pointing to.

"Seriously, those are some ugly ass glasses." I looked at Troy over the hot pink rims.

"I've got a great idea Troy, how about you go fuck yourself?" I smiled sweetly. Dex looked back and forth between us.

"It'd be a lot better and legal than fucking you."

"Look whatever issues the two of you have deal with it on your own time. Right now we're working on the Carnales, got it?" He glared at both of us. "Now you were saying."

"Fine, I got a lead where the Los Carnales cut all their shit."

"The Carnales." Dex and I both corrected him at the same time. He gave me a look of appreciation.

"What?"

"Rio Grande River. Jesus."

"What the fuck?"

"It's not THE Los Carnales, it's just the Carnales. Los means... fuck it. She fucking gets it."

"Yeah, well she's a fucking frog, the two languages are practically the same."

"I swear I'm going to punch him, Dex."

"Like I was saying, we're not going to raid the factory quite yet."

"Why not?"

"Cause I'm not a gun toting psychopath named Johnny Gat."

"Fair enough. So what's the plan?"

"One of my boys called and said they saw a truck with a heavy LC escort leaving the factory District. It's probably loaded with drugs, but that's just a bonus, our target is the truck itself. I need it brought back to the Row in one piece; it's no good to us blown to shit."

"What you need the truck for?"

"Let's just get the truck first, then I'll tell you the rest of the plan."

"I'm just saying' it'd be nice to know."

"Shit, Troy, what's with all the questions?"

"See even Dex agrees you ask too many." Troy glared at me.

"Just get me that truck and try not to kill each other." Dex said as he rolled up the map and took his food. "Better yet, the two of you should just get it over with and fuck." After a moment, Troy sat down at the table and dug into his food.

"So I'm trying to figure out if you're pissed because I compared you to a cop or because I have an ex." I finally broke the silence between us. I got off the table and sat down next to him instead and stole a few of his fries. He grabbed my wrist before I could eat them.

"What did I tell you?"

"Maybe you should spank me then you can get whatever the hell is wrong out of your system." He let go of my wrist like it burned him.

"My problem is I have a little kid flaunting herself in front of me." He snapped at me.

"Right, I forgot, when I turn 18 my vagina magically accommodates adults and my body is now socially acceptable to be ogled at and you won't have to be ashamed that you've been eye fucking me. I'll make sure I have a ribbon cutting ceremony next month with a banner that says 'Now accepting adult riders.' Get the fuck over yourself. We have work to do and I'm driving."


	7. Chapter 7

The ride to the factory was quiet, apparently he had nothing to say now. Unable to stand the quiet, I turned on the radio, switching between several stations until I found a good one.

"How can you listen to this shit, much less know all the words?" He interrupted me during the chorus of Hate.

"I'm sure your taste in music is so much better." He shut up again, lighting up his fifth smoke in the last half hour. I could only imagine how much he spent on smokes each month.

"Do you seriously carry extra clothes?" I felt his eyes travel over me.

"Only skirts, white kind of goes with everything. I figured since we're doing something in the Carnales' territory, it'd be worth changing."

"You need to start representing."

"I will once I'm a better shot. So what's the plan?"

"You cover me while I jack it and I'll drive it back to the row. I doubt we'll have a lot of trouble this time of night. You're right about the colors too, sit out in the open and hopefully any of the Los Carnales that drive by will ignore you." He gave me a look when I opened my mouth to correct him. "Just between you and me I was fine with cleaning out the Row, but getting into this drug shit ain't cool. Someone should talk some sense into Julius." I glanced at him, the look in his eyes and the set of his jaw told me he was dead serious. I chewed on my lip as I thought about what he said. I hadn't planned on talking to any of the Saints about Babette until I had earned their trust but Troy obviously didn't want me involved with the gang since he found out my age and with his dislike of drugs maybe he would help me. "Stop that." He snapped at me. Right, he had issues when it came to lip chewing.

"I don't like drugs either; my older sister's an addict. She's the reason why I came to Stilwater."

"What's her name?"

"Babette, if you go in my pack, there's a picture in my wallet." He reached over and started going through my pack, shaking his head at the extra clothes inside before pulling out my wallet. I had a moment of panic, remembering I had told him the truth of where I grew up as my ID was from Pennsylvania and not Louisiana. I didn't think he noticed it as he only pulled out Babette's picture.

"You two look nothing alike." He said after looking at it for a moment.

"Yeah, I know. She's the pretty one." I was use to hearing it that it hardly bothered me anymore. "We're here." I got out of the car, trying to be inconspicuous as Troy broke into the truck. I sat on the hood, smoking a cigarillo watching the road. I heard him curse and mutter as he worked on the truck. "Hurry up Troy." Several reds drove by barely giving me a second glance.

"Hey, you want to do it? I knew I should've paid attention when they were teaching hotwiring." He grumbled. A car that had just passed a minute ago came around again, this time the reds inside staring intently at me. I slid my gun out as a car with two reds pulled up, they hopped out with guns drawn, I barely made cover before they started shooting, there was a burning in my left arm as I ducked down. I returned fire but only hit their car, causing one of them to curse me out.

"Got it!" Troy yelled over to me as the truck started. He then fired two shots killing both of the reds. "You really do need to work on your aim. Let's go kid." I followed behind him; he drove like an old lady in that truck. I sent a prayer to the gods thanking them that I didn't have to learn how to shoot and drive today. I knew that Dex wanted the truck intact but for fuck's sake, this was ridiculous. The ride gave me time for my heart to calm down and notice I was dripping blood on the interior. I couldn't get a good look at it while I was driving. Finally after what seemed forever, we pulled up to the church.

"Could you drive any slower? Seriously when you're not driving like a maniac, you drive like my blind eighty year old grandmother." He ignored my comment as he looked me over. He pulled me over closer to one of the street lights, running his hand over my arm. When I went to turn my head to see the wound he turned my head away.

"Trust me, as soon as you see it, it'll start hurting like a bitch."

"It already burns."

"You're going to have a pretty scar there. Come on, I'll fix it up for you." The church was pretty quiet, a few Saints still hanging around at this late time. We ended up in a room that was stocked full of weapons and ammo. He waved me over to seat as he pulled out a huge first aid kit. "We keep this fully stocked; it's a running joke in the gang that Johnny gets hurt at least once a week. You got a choice, I can bandage it but you got to keep an eye on it or I can use this stuff but it's going to hurt a bit." I took the package of stuff off of him reading the instructions on the side. It would seal the wound, keeping it from getting infected and only burn a bit.

"I'd rather not have to worry about it." He cleaned the area around the wound, causing me to hiss. The wound was about two inches long and half an inch deep. It was steadily seeping blood and looked horrible. He was right, once I had a good look at it, it really started hurting me.

"You ready?" I nodded. He opened the package and poured what looked like red sand onto the wound. It felt like he had just poured acid on my skin. He held my arm steady as he pressed gauze over it. My eyes streamed with tears and I opened my mouth in a silent scream. It took about five goddamn minutes before the pain finally dissipated.

"You cunt, you said it would hurt a bit." I said when I could finally breathe past the pain.

"I'm impressed you didn't scream." He turned my face towards him, whipping away the tears that had formed. His warm hand cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbed over my lips. "I'm proud of you Ang." He smiled at me, his eyes on my lips. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. He pulled away from me, breaking the spell and focused on cleaning up and packing away the kit. "You sit there and relax. I'm going to go check in with Dex and then I'll take you home, okay?" I agreed, watching as he left.

He really needed to stop throwing mixed signals, half the time I was sure he wanted me but then he acted like he wanted to put me at the kids' table. He had a huge issue with my age, I didn't get it. I was old enough to kill and do other bad things but not sex stuff? Babette had often told me the problem with men was when their cocks were fighting for control over their actions while their brains disagreed. She had been my go-to for all things male growing up. She had set me down and explained everything, and I mean everything, on my thirteenth birthday when she found me making out with a guy. I didn't have her cavalier attitude when it came to sex; I was always a little tipsy before I could do it the first time. She was the one who explained that love and lust were every different things, making my dating life much easier. She would be the one who could look at Troy and tell me exactly what the hell was going on with him. I rested my head on my hands, closing my eyes for a minute. I missed my sister.

_Troy's hand cupped my cheek, pulling me close as he kissed me. His lips were warm and dry against mine, at his urging I opened my mouth to him. His pushed me against the wall, his body hard against mine. I felt a draft on my skin as he lifted my shirt running his hand over my stomach and up to cup my breast. I gasped against his lips as his fingers toyed with me. I ran my hands over his chest and unbuckled his belt. He grasped by hips, grinding me against him before turning me around and yanking down my thong._

"Hey, kid wake up." I jerked awake, my breath catching in my lungs. "You okay?" Troy cupped my chin, raising my head.

"Yeah, just a fucking nightmare." My cheeks heated with the double entendre.

"You sure?" I nodded as I followed him out to the car. Stupid fucking dream, now all I could think of was hopping on to his lap and kissing him. Gods, I needed a drink.

"Can you please pick me up a bottle and some smokes? I'm out of both."

"Bad habits kid."

"Yes, I'm really going to listen to the chain smoker." If I could get another bottle, maybe I could invite him over sometime and after a few drinks… I had to make an effort not to allow that thought full reign, I could think well enough about that when I was alone.

"I've trying to figure this out, I can understand two guys, but why in your parents bed?"

"In my defense, I was really drunk and it seemed like a grand idea." I really shouldn't have thrown that in his face, I just wanted him to realize I wasn't an innocent kid and the details of what happen were childish. "My father's a drunk, was a drunk. He never had time for anyone and when Mama died, he turned their room into a shrine. The day he kicked Babette out of the house, I just lost it, called up some friends, and had a party." I smiled bitterly. "People were more than happy to trash the house. He just found the aftermath, which included me in bed postcoitus." Fortunately, he pulled up to my place. "Thanks for the lift." I hopped out, needing to get away.

"Ang." He flicked away his cig before following after me. "I meant it, you did good today. Take a few days off and relax. When you come back, come see me or Johnny, one of use will teach you how to use that piece, okay?"

"I'm fine, I'll see you tomorrow." He caught my arm before I could turn away.

"I've been in this for a long time, trust me when I tell you to take a few days off. Pretty soon these few past days will seem like cakewalk."

"Fine, I have to do some shopping anyhow." I sighed. I guarantee you, he wouldn't be doing this to a guy.

"Be careful, okay?"

"I know Troy. I'm a big girl." He grasped the back of my neck, pulling me against him and kissed me. Unlike my dream, his lips were rough, he tasted of ash and tobacco. His hands were warm against the small of my back, gently kneading but not straying out of bounds of propriety, my own rested on his nape, my fingers shyly toying with his hair. I whimpered against his lips when he caught my lower lip between his teeth, gently sucking and biting it. When I tried to press closer to him, he backed off and pulled away from me.

"I'm well aware of that." It took a moment for my brain to process what he was talking about.

"Oh. Would you want to come in?" I stammered after a moment, my brain still not fully functioning. His eyes wandered over me before pulling out a cig and lighting up.

"Not for another month, kid. See you in a few days." He walked away. I stood there like an ass, trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have never used Woundseal. Don't. I cannot express how goddamn horrible the burning pain is from that stuff. It is literally the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Fun fact, it's geared especially towards the elderly.
> 
> Also next chapter might be a while as Troy is giving me problems.


	8. Chapter 8

Kissing her had been a mistake, now all he could think about was bending her over the hood of his car and fucking her. Or her on her knees in front of him with those lips of hers around his cock. It had been over four years since he had gotten any that wasn't from a pro. He knew the rules when he signed up for this shit, no personal relationships, no girlfriends, nothing that would keep him from doing his job, but fuck, no one had warned him this would go on for this goddamn long. Shit, it had been so long since he had a decent fuck, he was worried he was going queer when he was attracted to Ang in her getup. Man, the relief he felt when he realized she was female. Her timing in joining the gang couldn't be better as he had been thinking of breaking the rules more and more.

As a rule there weren't many women in the gang, most of them just hung around for the protection that was offered or where in more support type roles, the only real female banger was Lin, besides from being a hard ass, she was too perceptive by half. Ang had several points in her favor, she was new to the city, so no police file on her yet and he would keep it that way, she was so new to the scene, he doubted she would be able to figure out what he really was. She had panicked him for a moment when she called him out; he needed to be more careful with his questioning of people. He knew her type, never getting enough attention growing up so she flaunted herself now, full of false bravado that covered up her insecurities that revealed themselves when pushed. He saw girls like her from rich families a lot, no amount of money could supplement good parents. He wouldn't have spotted the money issue if it wasn't for Dex pointing it out to him, one of his boys sold counterfeit items like she was wearing. He also knew she was lying to everyone.

She had left her wallet in his car, it only contained the picture, an ID and a social security card, both of which, after confirming with Dex where fake. The ID had misspelled one of the cities and the number belonged to some dead woman. Ang was running from something but what he didn't know. He wondered if her father's death had been suicide, she didn't seem too choked up about losing him and she wouldn't be the first girl from a bad family to kill. It would explain why her sister was an addict and her current lack of money.

"Got those IDs for you." Dex tossed them to him before joining him at the table. They were good quality and unlike the old ones would stand up to inspection and had her age as twenty-one. She could buy her own damn bottle after neglecting to mention how expensive her shit was. "You know, it's the strangest thing, she's not connected to any social media, not even MySpace, even my gran has Facebook."

"She probably changed her name to get rid of whatever trouble is following her, I'm just hoping it doesn't come back on us." He muttered as he got himself a cold beer from the icebox.

"You two work out your problem?"

"Yeah, you were right." He smiled to himself. "You should have seen her reaction." The two men shared a laugh as they set up for their weekly poker game.

"I'm disappointed in you, Troy." Julius said as he sat down.

"Nothing happened Julius; I haven't gone completely morally bankrupt that I would abuse my status like that. Give me a little credit." The head of the gang stared at him for a long moment.

"The special hell." He finally said before turning to Dex. "Where do we stand on everything?" Troy sat back as Dex took his moment to shine. Dex was every cop's wet dream, leaving a detailed paper trail on every activity, every gang member for both the Saints and the other gangs and a number of plans, a number of which always nixed by Julius.

"We lost three and two wounded from the raid by the Carnales. I'm working on a lead to get a doctor willing to work with us. We got the neighborhood pretty much locked down. I got some of our girls playing look out for us too."

"Good. What about the new recruits?"

"Eight total this week, problem is half of them are kids."

"Unfortunately, we need soldiers." Julius replied grimly. "Make sure none of them go out alone. I won't have baby gangers out there getting killed because they don't know shit."

"Understood, I suggest we get Johnny to start teaching some of our people how to fight better, I didn't think half of them would make it through their canonizations. Troy, you should help with the shooting and get us some more phones with whoever your hookup is. I'll keep working to get us more info and get our income more stable."

"Any word from Lin?"

"Nothing good. The Rollerz don't exactly respect women and she refuses to take the other route to rise up in rank."

"Shit man, could you see her actually doing that?" Troy asked shocked.

"No and if you repeat that to Lin, I'll kill you before she can kill me."

"She'll get the job done, like she always does. Now, where the hell is Johnny at?"

"Went for a munchies run." Johnny smiled as he entered with three brown bags full of snacks. "Would have been here sooner but I ran over some Carnales on my way back." After the first year in the gang, Johnny's casual attitude towards killing no longer bothered Troy. "Get ready to get your bitch asses kicked." He smirked as he sat back as Dex dealt the cards. The game was pretty even until several hours later when Julius left, when they could really play without worrying. Julius may be a great leader but sometimes he was a killjoy. Troy was down several hundred, never quite getting the hang of Dex's bluffs while Johnny was worse off as he played as aggressively as he did everything else. Most the games usually came down between Dex and Lin, at least without her here; he would go home without losing his shirt. "Took some of the new blood to get tats, I haven't seen that many tears since that last chick flick Eesh dragged me to." He took a swig of his beer. "Your girl did you proud, not a peep from her."

"What girl?" Troy asked mystified.

"Ang. You and Julius brought her in, so she's yours. I got to tell you, she kicked Leroy's ass again, I can't help but to wonder if she fucks as well as she fights."

"Too bad you'll never find out, she's queerer than a three dollar bill." The lie rolled off his tongue before he could stop it. Dex choked on his beer, coughing to cover his laughter. "I'm covering for her like Natalie did for Omar."

"Man, that was a mess with Omar." Natalie had been his beard for years. A week after coming out of the closet, he had been found dead, no one knew what happened, but they all had their suspicions. There was a somber moment before he broke it. "Damn fine waste of pussy there. Why can't all the dykes be ugly? Speaking of which how's your mom doing Dex?"

XXX

"I told you to take a few days off, not sneak back and try to pretend that you haven't been around." Troy snapped as soon as Ang opened the door. His head was killing him, even behind his shades, his eyes burned. He had planned to sleep some of the day away but she had texted him at eight asking if she could come back yet, not knowing that Johnny had inadvertently squealed on her.

"Morning to you to sunshine." She blinked at him, shielding her eyes from the morning light. "Coffee?" She asked as she let him in. He gratefully took her up on the offer, only to end up grimacing at the taste. Damn, shit had so much cream and sugar in it, he couldn't legally call it coffee any more. She obviously hadn't expected him to drop by, her hair was messy from sleeping, her face bare and wearing a yellow silk nightie that only came down to mid-thigh. On her neck was a brand new purple and white fleur-de-lis tattoo. He watched how she shot longing glances at the near empty bottle of brandy sitting on the counter and wondered if he should be offended or amused at her reaction. "So, who told you?" She finally asked after making her own cup, her nails tapping on it.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" He asked as he leaned against her countertop, blocking any form of escape.

"Yes. I was bored, there's only so much food shopping you can do and this city doesn't even have a library. I don't even own a TV." She whined. "I was going stir crazy. I was so bored I was about to start shooting the wall. I have nothing to do here except think about..." She trailed off, looking away from him. "Why the hell did you kiss me?" She snapped. He watched her as she paced in the small space, her nails beating a staccato on her mug as she chewed on her lip. He had always been a sucker for full lips.

"Want me to do it again?" He asked with an almost bored air, keeping a smile off his face at her reaction.

"Yes. No!" She took a deep breath. "I know I say a lot of stuff but the truth is I don't do casual, Troy. It gets awkward for me and I don't know how to act." She leaned against the wall, dropping her head in her hands. "Can you just leave before I make more of an ass out of myself?" He couldn't help smiling. He pulled her hand away, tipping her face up to his.

"You haven't had a lot of relationships have you?" She scoffed.

"Not many boys are interested in girls taller than them with fewer curves than a straight line and small tits."

"Now, you're just fishing for compliments." He chuckled at her blush. "I don't do casual either." He was surprised he got the lie out so well. "We'll go slow." He pressed a gentle kiss, backing off when she tried to deepen the kiss. "Slowly, Ang."

"What if I wanted faster?" She asked in a rush, a pretty blush on her face.

"Not going to happen." Her disappointed expression had him smiling. She looked away and bit her lip; she opened her mouth but closed it before any sound came out. "What's wrong?"

"Can we keep this between us?"

"You don't want the gang to know?" It was better than he could hope, the less people that knew about any relationship they developed, the less likely his people would find out.

"I want to earn my place for once in my life."

"And you don't want people thinking you're getting special favors because of me."

"Yes." Relief was evident on her face. "I'm sorry."

"No, I get it. We'll keep things separate, but when I give you an order, like taking a few days off, I expect you to listen to me." He cupped her cheek, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I mean it, this isn't a game. Not listening to me could get you hurt or worse."

"Sorry. I just really want to fit in and I thought you were treating me like a child."

"Treating you like a child is the last thing I want to do, Angel." He said as his eyes travelled over her.

"You ever call me that in public and I will hurt you." She said glaring at him as she pulled him down for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XXX
> 
> A/n: Okay, so the next chapter might really take a while due to the fact that this weekend is the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who and I plan on have way to many sonic screwdriver shots. Bonus points to anyone who can spot the references.


	9. Chapter 9

Growing up, etiquette was important; it was forced down my throat from day one. It was drilled into me when to speak, how to speak, when to apologize, how to walk, sit, smile and breathe. Every action had a rule. It was no wonder when I started acting out with booze and sex. Sex had been the ultimate fuck you to my father, it was classless and base act, a thing that required no talent, especially when I kept my mouth shut and let guys do the talking. Etiquette classes tend to reinforce the idea of ladies letting men do the talking as men were so much smarter than us.

Going against all my training helped me do a many of things, but they didn't help me figure out how to get Troy in my pants. After our talk, he had crashed on my bed sans shirt and shoes under the excuse of being tired. More like hungover. I didn't know quite how to deal with his entitled attitude, how he would just cross normal boundaries without hesitation. I had noticed that all three of the lieutenants were the same way. Maybe it came from earning their spots, I didn't know. Looking over at my brandy, I calculated how much I had left. Since he hadn't gotten me any as requested, I was running low. I had been using it mostly as a sleeping aid nowadays, just enough to quiet my mind, I would do horrible things right now for some Zannies or A-minus. There was not enough in there to give me enough courage to entice him, trying on my own would most likely result in ruin and then I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. My running thoughts were interrupted when a pillow hit me in the head, turning I found him glaring at me.

"I'm trying to sleep here." He snapped at me, holding his hand out for the pillow. I realized I had been tapping my nails and in the small room it tended to echo loudly. I gave him an apologetic look before handing over the pillow. He snatched it out of my hand, fluffing it before putting it behind his head and lying back down. "Come on, get some more sleep, it's too damn early." He held out his hand, with the way the bed was positioned, the only way for me to get in the bed was for him to either move over or for me to crawl over him. I was still tired, I hadn't expected him to show up after I had texted him. I knew from his expression I wasn't getting my bed back until he left. I took his hand, completely unprepared when he yanked me off balance. I ended up on top of him, I scrabbled to get off of him but ended up straddling him, my hands seemed stuck on his naked chest. My wide eyes meet his, the self-assured look in his eyes left me gasping or it could be his hands cupping my ass, the fingers of one stroking under my thong as he moved me so that I was pressed oh-so nicely against his cock.

"Troy." I barely managed to choke out as he rocked against me, leaving me whimpering. I picked up the rhythm, riding him, my nails digging into his chest as I approached a much needed climax. I was almost there when he pushed me off of him. I stared at him in shock, a whimper leaving my lips before I could stop it. The smile he gave me was beyond cocky and my lust damped brain couldn't comprehend what the hell just happened. My body ached with need and his cocky expression made me want to hit him. "What the hell?" I finally managed to get out.

"Payback for all the teasing you do." Considering the fact that my body practically hurt, his smile was downright cruel. My eyes were glued on him as he reached down to adjust himself, his eyes focused on my lips.

"You son of a whore."

"I promise to finish it, if you stick around until next month." He reached out, cupping my face as he ran his thumb over my lip. "'Course you could always finish yourself." I felt my cheeks heat, the blood rushing so fast to different parts I felt dizzy. I turned giving him my back, listening to him chuckle.

XXX

"I think he's dead, chica." I glared at the Saint talking to me, Julio was his name. "Seriously, no one told me I was rolling with a mini-Gat."

"Why does everyone kept saying that like it's a bad thing?" I shook off the bat, trying to get some of the blood off. I grimaced, squatting down, I used the dead red's shirt to wipe it off. I had been put on distraction duty with Julio, not having been picked for the raid on the Carnales' drug factory. It was our jobs to cause problems in the Carnales' territory before the raid went down. It had been part of Dex's great plan, distract the enemy and once they were, his crew would go in and claim the place.

"Maybe because Gat is the toughest, scariest motherfucker out there." He gestured at the bodies. "And that's something that he would have done." Between the two of us, there were six bodies, two of which, I had caved the heads in with my bat. I may have taken some of my anger out on the last two. I smiled at him.

"Thanks."

"That wasn't a compliment." There was a squeal of tires as a red car came speeding around the corner. Like idiots, they got out of the car instead of trying to run us over. I smiled, taking off at a dead run. One of the things I had noticed is that so many of these idiots tended to turn their guns sideways making their aim shit. I spun avoiding a bullet, using the momentum to whack the guy's arm, hearing a titillating crack and scream. I pulled out my gun and opened fire. At this close range, I didn't have to worry about aiming. Blood splattered everywhere, I lost my footing as I slipped in some of it. I fell hard on my ass causing me to lose my grip on my gun. One of the reds stood over me and took the time to curse at me instead pulling the trigger, giving me a chance to ram my size tens into his nuts, he fell to the ground, gasping in pain. I just managed to cover my eyes in time to keep blood out as Julio shot him in the head. "You need better shoes." I took the hand he held out, almost falling again from the blood before finding my footing.

"These are awesome shoes, thank you very much." Sure, they were from last year's collection but it wasn't like I had a couple grand to drop for this year's and at any rate the designer had moved on to pastels. Who the hell wears pastels? I turned out the pockets on the bodies, shoving the contents in my pack, the two of us would split it later. "You ever notice they have the same phones as us?" I shrugged at his look. "I just find it odd, you know?"

"Maybe we all have the same hook-up guy. I got an idea." He crouched down next to one of the bodies and placed his purple bandana next to it. "Our phones can send mass texts, so can theirs. Take a photo and let's rile them up." I took a picture, making sure to crop him out of it, no need for them to be gunning for him. I added a caption to the picture taunting them and adding the street address.

"We should get to cover." I dropped the phone as it started to ring like crazy, text messages popping up like wild fire.

"I got a couple of grenades I've been dying to play with."

"Who's the mini-Gat?" He smiled cockily as we took off at a run.

XXX

"You owe me a new set of heels." I bitched as I looked at the poor things; the heel on the one was cracked and singed besides the leather was now beyond my cleaning skills.

"I told you to get to cover."

"Julio you throw worse than me and all the money in the world couldn't buy me a spot on a peewee team." He really hadn't thrown the grenade, more rolled it really. The distraction had worked, reds had rolled in and when they did, Julio had tossed the grenades. The cars had exploded in a beautiful blaze. We had been too close and ended up taking a dive. The movies had lied to me; there was no cool walking away from explosions. We were both a little banged up, both of my knees and arms were skinned, he had come out better if only because he landed on me.

The two of us sat in the church on one of the few unbroken pews, the spoils of the fight between us. There was a pile of cell phones, jewelry that he had insisted on and wallets, some of which contained a nice amount. The phones and jewelry could be fenced bring the take up to a tidy sum. I flipped through the wallets, piling credit cards and IDs, feeling a pang of guilt when some of them had photos. These people had died for their gang, their city because they belong here.

"You're thinking too hard, chica, I can smell the smoke from here."

"No, that's my hair." I attempted to joke. "It's just weird, you know, everyone's fighting for this city and I feel like an interloper, I'm only here to find my sister."

"Where you going to go when you find her?" I blinked at him.

"I actually never thought of it." I replied stupidly.

"You got a home somewhere else?" I shook my head. "Then why not stay? We're taking over the city; Saints will be living like kings. I know where you're coming from, I got a kid brother I'm doing this for." He pulled out his own wallet and showed me a picture. The little kid looked like a mini of him. "I can tell you want to stay anyhow."

"Oh really?"

"Why'd you get branded if you didn't want to stay?" I ran my fingers over my new tat and smiled.

"Gat took us to Rusty's. He was just so cocky, bragging about his, especially after Jake started tearing up. I just thought to myself that I could handle it. I mean, I was in ballet for ten years." He gave me a strange look. "You have a teacher stand on your back because you're not low enough and you'll understand."

"See that's what I mean, we got Gat inspiring us to be tougher, Dex to be smarter, Troy to be persistent and Lin to never underestimate anyone. Unlike the other gangs, the heads care about us peons." I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Saints are family, you know?"

"You should write the recruitment posters."

"I pitched it to Dex but he shot me down." He shrugged. "So did it hurt?" He motioned at my neck.

"Like a motherfuker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References from last chapter were: Mulan, Firefly and Sherlock. Congrats to Antivian for finding one.


	10. Chapter 10

Two grand, not bad for a day's work. I couldn't stop thinking about the money in my pack and what to do with it. I was good on food for a while, so I didn't have to worry about that. I need to make my home a little more homey, maybe a TV or at least a stereo. I was grateful that the cell phone I had been given had decent internet and could do all my shopping online. I was in the middle of ordering a new TV when I realized my mistake. I had no usable bank account under my new name and had automatically entered my old info. I didn't know how badly they would be looking for me, I didn't dare login to any of my old accounts, I was too terrified to even try. Just thinking of them brought back the whispered threats, the feel of the knife pressing against my face, not being able to blink for fear the tip so close to my eye would blind me. I rubbed at my throat, trying to dispel the phantom feeling of choking. I was safe here. Babette was safe as she had been completely disinherited and if I died the money would go to charities picked out by ma mere. To get the money they had to get me. I felt like the church's walls were closing in on me. I needed air. I tried to control the speed that I walked out of the church, barely managing to keep from running. If I passed anyone I didn't see them, I stopped when the walls prevented me from leaving. I pressed my head against the stone wall, trying to ground myself. The stone was warm from the sun, I had left my shoes behind, dying grass was under my feet along with pebbles that dug into my skin.

"You're a pretty enough girl for now." He drew out that last part. "You'll work off your father's debts, won't you?" The echo of the past came back with no warning, that voice in my ear, the breath on my cheek. It wasn't real. Just memories. I repeated that over and over but it didn't help. Punching the wall until my hand felt like it was going to fall off did, the pain helped me focus on the here and now. I turned, pressing my back to wall, sliding down so that I could sit. I was scared to open my eyes and see if anyone had seen my freak out, last thing I wanted was someone prodding me with a dozen questions. I reached blindly for my pack, cursing when I realized I had left it in the church, I'd have no choice but to open my eyes if I wanted a smoke to further calm me down. I scrubbed my good hand over my hand, wiping away tears before taking a deep breath and opening my eyes. I had gotten lucky this time, I had ended up in one of the corners that was hard to see from the front of the church where most of the gang hung around. I had to nip this in the bud now.

Dex was in his office, I watched him for a minute as he scribbled furiously in a notebook, moving from the map on the wall to the table where there was more paperwork.

"Hey good work today, we barely had any problems with the shit you two were pulling."

"It was mostly Julio's idea." I shrugged off the praise. "I was thinking since you're the one handling this, you might know where I could pick up some Zannies or A-minus." He stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

"Troy won't like you doing drugs." He finally stated after a minute.

"He's not my father; he has no say on this." I pinched the bridge of my nose, fighting the urge to go find Troy and hit him until I felt better. Thanks to him, I would need the drugs tonight as while I slept he finished off my brandy. He hadn't been there when I woke, only a note saying he'd see me later. With me still on the edge from my little panic attack, I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I had something in my system.

"You're in his crew, he doesn't like his people using." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable with this talk.

"Then transfer me. For fuck's sake, it's not like I'm asking for Molly." I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Look, I need sleep. I just thought coming to you would be the smartest place to look for clean stuff. You got a problem with it, I'll find someone else." I turned to leave.

"Alright, shit fine." He walked over to a chest of drawers and pulled out a ring of keys. "How much you need?" I told him, ignoring the shaking of his head. He turned with two baggies full of little blue pills. "Tell me why you need them."

"I told you sleep."

"Look, if this shit is too much for you."

"I had a life before I joined up Dex." I cut him off before he could attempt to offer me a way out.

"What was so hard about your life rich girl?" He laughed at the look on my face. "It's obvious, you're from money, you walk around in Manolo's like I do in Nike knockoffs." I chewed on my lip, forcing my mind away from that and focused on one of the lesser problems that came in my life. So much of my family had been fucked up as the youngest; I was the one that constantly got dumped on. Babette always tried to shield me most of the problems but with the age difference between us, she couldn't always be around.

"What race am I?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer, what I am Dex?"

"I dunno, black or Latino, I'd say."

"Yeah, that's the problem. I'm actually more white than I am Indian. I've never been able to pass unlike my siblings and ma mere. I was the constant reminder to Granny Agatha that her pure English blood had been tainted. She would tell people that I was adopted and constantly reminded me that I was a mistake. After ma mere died, my father had a paternity test done as no real child of his should be so dark. After all she was nothing more than a whore." I snatched the baggies out of his hand. "Money can't make you happy when you have shitty people in your life. Don't ever try throwing that shit in my face again." I tossed him the money and down a Zannie in a dry swallow.

"Just don't be getting high while you're working."

"They don't get you high if actually have anxiety." I shrugged. "So what's the next step with your little master plan?" He looked so visibly relieved of the change of subject, I almost laughed.

"We found a memo saying that Hector is meeting with the Colombians tomorrow night. I got some ideas of how to handle it, rushing in there would be suicide with all that firepower."

"You don't think they'd reschedule with losing the factory?"

"No, they would lose face if they showed it weakened them. It's all about a show of force with the Colombians." He tapped his pencil on the map.

"Well, good luck with figuring it out. Call me if you need me." He waved me off as I left. With the medication going to work on me, the cloying feeling of panic was beginning to recede. Picking up my stuff, I decided it was time to do some retail therapy.

XXX

Five hundred dollars left. I had nixed the idea of getting a TV and instead gotten a laptop as I could watch everything online. I now had a nice small stereo that had a good bass line, a full set of dishes, pots and pans and a whole load of other things I had needed. My place looked more like a home now. I smiled as I arranged the last of my stuff. I had everything I could need; I even had fixed up a small altar. Most of the items were second hand but I didn't care, it was all mine.

I relaxed on my bed, a cup of tea in hand, ice on the other and booted up "Haute tension". Marie was hiding under the bed hiding as the killer went through the house when someone banged on my door. I let out a shriek, almost dropping my new laptop on the floor. Closing it and setting it gently on the bed, I checked my hair in my new mirror before opening the door, already knowing who it would be.

"Learn to knock quieter okay?" I teased as I opened the door. Troy stood there, flicking his cig away before stepping over the threshold, grabbing the back of my neck and kissing me. I melted into his arms, gods he was a good kisser. I pulled away after a moment and lightly punched him in the stomach. "That's for this morning, ass." He gave me a wounded look before stepping in and looking over my place.

"You redecorated." I took his coat, hanging it up on my new coat rack. "I don't like it." He said after a minute. "Too much blue." He glared at the area rug I had put down.

"It's teal you uncultured swine and it's my favorite color." I smiled proudly at my place. He looked me over. "I have a very lovely lingerie set in teal. I'd let you see but you're too much of a tease." I stepped up to him and ran my fingers down his chest. He caught my hand before I got too low on him.

"You're going to make the next month hell on me aren't you?" He muttered before kissing me again.

"You have no idea." I couldn't help smiling at his look. He sat on the bed as I made two cups of coffee.

"You got to understand, I break a lot of laws, cross a lot of lines in my life. I got to set lines somewhere."

"I get it, you if don't you'll do something you'll really regret. Doesn't mean I'm not going to make you regret it." He gave me a pained look as I handed him a cup and sat next to him. He took a sip of the coffee and grimaced, setting it down on the nightstand.

"So what happened today?" I started to tell him about the mission with Julio but he cut me off. "I saw what happened at the church and Dex told me about the drugs." I shook my head. There was no way to keep secrets in this damn gang. Julio was right, it was like family. I didn't know how well Troy could keep secrets from the gang. Now that I thought about it, Dex's concern was probably more from the fact that Troy was interested in me and not just me being on his crew.

"There's some things I can't talk about until I know you can keep a secret."

"I'm very good with secrets." His eyes were light with amusement.

"Somehow I doubt it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XXX
> 
> A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. Next chapter will probably be up by Monday. Remember the meal isn't over when you're full, it's over when you hate yourself.


	11. Chapter 11

Eight inch cock. Each word on its own was innocent, they caused no problems, however combined, they made things awkward. Never had I thought that three words could make me so uncomfortable. I stared at the poster of Aisha, trying to keep my eyes from focusing on said words and see if I could see if they were true. From the cocky grin, the owner of said eight inch cock thought my reaction was hilarious.

"Honestly Johnny, why would you say that? Now I'll never be able to look at you without thinking about that." I finally said after an awkward five minutes of imagining Johnny naked. To be honest he was a good looking man, maybe better than Troy. He had that bad boy persona down that Hollywood loved to add in every crime movie, you know, the one that dies in a blaze of glory. He was the type for fucking, not relationships. Of course because I was imagining Johnny, my mind had to go and compare his statement with what I had felt while grinding on Troy. I was a horrible judge of measurement, send me to a fabric shop for three feet of silk, I came back with five and a half. All I could tell you was he felt wonderful and I wanted to do horrible things to him.

"Ooh, I like how you say my name." I buried my face in my hands as he laughed. With my accent his name came out much more sexual than I intended. I had been in such a good mood today, finally having gotten a good night sleep in weeks.

"I can't even… I'm so done." I threw up my hands and got up from the chair causing him to laugh harder.

"Ah come on Ang, I'm just pulling your leg." I was never going to get rid of that nickname, I had already snapped at three people with no effect. "I didn't think you'd care, what with you and Troy-"

"He told you about us?" I snapped interrupting him. "I asked him to not tell anyone. I'm going to kill him." I sunk down in my seat, disappointment flooding me. I had been right not to say a word to him last night.

"Whoa, it's cool. Dex and I are the only ones who know."

"I didn't want anyone to know." I sighed rubbing the back of my neck. "You don't think less of me do you?"

"Nah, course not. Look, anyone gives you shit over it let me know. I don't stand for that kind of stuff. Now you ready to learn or are you going to keep fantasizing about my cock?" He leaned back in his chair, propping his legs up on the desk, hands folding on his stomach. "Since you're new to the city, let me give you a rundown on this. The Vice Kings are named after one guy: Benjamin King. That shit don't happen unless you're a profession or a bad ass, and in King's case, he's both."

"He runs Kingdom Come Records, right?"

"Surprised you knew that."

"Of course I do. I'm barely out of my teens; I had the dream of being a singer like all girls." I nodded at the posters of Aisha. "Every girl I know wanted to be her, great voice, beautiful and classy with the right amount of sleaze."

"Yeah, that's my girl for you." I was about to call bullshit on him when his phone rang. "Hold on, I got to take this. Aisha, what a pleasant fucking surprise. Whoa, slow down." He held the phone away from his ear and I could almost hear the shrieking. "Okay that's not slower, that's louder. Shit, where's she headed? Don't worry, I got this."

"What's up?" Dex asked as he walked in the room.

"Some mother fucker's grabbed Aisha's sister right off the street." There was no way that he was talking about  _that_  Aisha.

"Shit man, that's the sixth girl this month. We know who's doing this?"

"Yeah, the Vice Kings."

"No way man, kidnapping ain't King's style."

"Maybe that slut Tanya is going behind King's back, don't know, don't fucking care. Aisha said they were driving a yellow sedan. Tail those bitches back to wherever they go and get those girls back and make sure you take back up."

I shielded my eyes from the bright sun as I stepped out the church, looking for a familiar face. Troy was working with a bunch of Saints over on the makeshift shooting range setup over in the graveyard. I smiled when he smacked one of the guys upside the head and yelled at them. He gave me a quick smile and nod when he saw me before turning and yelling at someone else. I didn't know how to ask anyone if they would go with me. Did I just go up to some random person and ask? I stood there chewing on my lip, stupidly hoping for inspiration to hit when my phone dinged.

**STOP THAT, I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE.**

I smiled at the text, fighting an urge to glance over at him. Some men had a thing for tits, some for asses; I end up with someone who actually appreciated my lips.

**Have I mentioned I'm very talented with my mouth?**

I was tempted to tease him some more but decided against it. I walked over to the parked cars, relieved to find Julio playing craps with some others.

"Hey, care to do some work with me?"

"Sure thing chica." He picked up his money, not even bothering to count it as we took his car. "Here, I picked these up for you." He fished out a pack of cigarillos, tossing them to me.

"Thank gods, I lost my damn ID and haven't been able to get more. I could kiss you." I smiled gratefully as I light up. "I think that's the car we're looking for." He followed behind the car but not too close to tip off the driver as I filled him in on what was going on.

"See things like this is why I hate the Vice Kings, they got this puta running their whores and they don't care about any of them. Half their girls try to run away, so now they kidnapping girls, they get them hooked on drugs and keep them like sheep. It's fucked up." I readied myself, placing extra ammo in my new ammo pouches that attached to my belt and securing the Velcro flaps. Seven clips total on hand, if I needed more than seventy bullets, I was in more trouble than I could handle. Last but least, I pulled out my reading glasses and perched them on the tip of my nose. The other day while getting tattooed, I had spoken to Johnny about my shooting and he had pointed out looking down the sights was useless, if I couldn't see them. Being able to aim down the sights made things so much easier.

"Ready?" I asked as we came to a stop. He smiled in affirmative and pulled out his own gun. Inside there were several VK's and lots of shelving, I ducked behind some boxes as shots fired, aiming down the sights as I returned fire. I managed not to cheer as I actually hit what I was aiming for. I had been told to not bother aiming for the head, that was for zombie games, no, the best place to aim was for the chest. It was the easiest target to hit and unlike the movies showed, it could be an instant kill if I hit the right spot. Once we got rid of them, Julio stood guard, looting the bodies while I headed to the back where I found a locked door. "Anyone in there?"

"You got to get us out of here, the guy with the key went to Tee'N'Ay." One of the girls inside yelled.

"Stand back from the door, okay?" I heard movement inside. I was not going to go chasing some ass for a key when I could just shoot the lock off. It would waste time and with my luck, there would be a dozen VK's by time I got back. The women screamed when I shot the door and kicked it open. "Hi there, anyone need a rescue?"

XXX

During the whole ride, Malia had attached herself to me like ivy, crying and sobbing all over me. I awkwardly patted her on the back, trying not freak out. Tears were not meant to shed in public, they were a private thing, in fact, when I had a panic attack in public, the fact I cried could trigger another panic attack on top of the original. Julio had found my horrified look hilarious if the way he had taken his time driving was any indication. I had never been happier to see the church when we finally pulled up. Aisha had been arguing with Johnny when I brought her sister in.

"Malia! Oh my god, are you alright?" I was surprised to find out that Johnny's Aisha was actually the Aisha. I watched the two sisters hug and cry, backing away slowly, trying not to draw attention to myself. Fortunately I managed to clear the room before they noticed me. I joined Julio outside on the church steps, relaxing with a smoke, the telltale skunk smell of it explained the massive amount of food in front of him. I took a few of his napkins and wiped down my outfit, getting the girl's tears off of me and my reading glasses. He watched me with a smirk as I finished cleaning up and slipped them into the front of my shirt.

"Man, I kept waiting for you to toss her out of the car. Last time I saw someone look like that was when my mama told my dad that she was knocked up again." I glared at him, stealing his lighter as I light up. "And you going, 'there, there'. That was the best." It was probably the pot that was making him think that was funny because it had not been in the least.

"I'm not good with nonconsensual touching."

"What about consensual touching?" He drawled.

"Oh, I'm very good with that, most of my exes had problems with me being too touchy-feely."

"So..." He took a drag off of his joint. "You want to do some consensual touching sometime?" His delivery of the line was so cheesy that I couldn't help cracking up laughing.

"I bet that sounded so much better in your head." I said gasping for breath between laughter.

"Yeah, it did." He smiled bashfully. "So how about it?"

"You're about two days too late." I puffed on my cigarillo. "I'm kind of dating someone, I think." I shrugged.

"No offense chica, but how do you not know?"

"He's made it clear he wants to do stuff", I felt myself blushing, "at a later time and he just kind of overwhelms me with his actions, but it's not like he's actually taken me on a date."

"So he really hasn't staked a claim yet, so to speak?" He grinned in a totally adorable way. "How about I take you out to dinner and a movie?" I smiled back at him. This was more my speed, I knew exactly what he wanted and knew the song and dance that came with it unlike Troy who was confusing the hell out of me.

"Ang, let's go, we go work to do." Speak of the devil and he appears. Troy stood over the two of us and walked down the stairs between us, holding out a hand to help me up. He pulled me harder than he had to, making me tumble against him. I waved goodbye to Julio as I followed Troy. His car was parked in the back of the church, tucked away in a corner. Before I could even touch the car's door, he grabbed my arm, turning me so that he could press a kiss to my lips. His fingers tangled in my hair in an almost angry grip, his lips moving against mine in an almost bruising manner, his teeth scrapping harshly over my lips. As quickly as he begun the kiss, he pulled away, leaving me standing there as he went to his side of the car. "We'll go get something to eat after this." I raised an eyebrow at him. "No more flirting with that kid either." He snapped as he slammed his door closed. I resisted the urge to smile. Jealousy was something I was familiar with.


	12. Chapter 12

I was once that all fear came from the fear of death. That person didn't have an active enough imagination. I did. There are worse things than dying: falling from a height great enough to render every bone broken but not dead or falling and ending up a quadriplegic or falling and acquiring enough brain damage to make you a vegetable. My fear of heights was a tad strong. Just a tad. It's not like I cried like a baby at the theater when I was forced to sit in the balcony. Oh wait, that did happen.

My skin was cold and clammy as my completely rational fear swan through me. My mind insisting on focusing on all the ways the roof could give out as I laid there staring through the scope of the sniper rifle. Getting up to the roof had been an ordeal, my throat tightened until I thought I would choke. I had to force myself to keep my eyes up, even as the masochistic urge to look down hounded me. I practiced my breathing, four in seven out, as I waited for the Colombians to show up. This was one of Dex's great plans, kill Hector Lopez, leaving his crazy brother on a rampage, hopefully against the Colombians. I had to time things just right, make it look like they wanted the money and keep the drugs.

This was a big deal, this would start the rise of the Saints; it was the only reason why I fought through my fear. Sure, it was Dex's plan, but I was the one executing it. I would be the one remembered for this. I watched Hector through the scope, he was grim faced as he talked to one of his people. He really looked like a man who never smiled, probably from all the problems his cokehead of a brother caused. I could sympathize with him. I felt bad for him, but I really felt bad for the fact that this shot was going to ruin his coat; it was a really nice high quality one. I hated ruining nice things.

After what felt like an eternity, they arrived. I watched as the two men greeted each other, both surrounded by their men. Hector waved one of his men over carrying a briefcase, showing off the money inside. The Colombian nodded and took the case, before he could return the favor, I took the shot, nailing Hector in the gut. The force of the bullet knocked him off his feet, I didn't know what he said as blood pooled around him but his people opened fire on the drug dealers. I was tempted to stay and watch the chaos but I had been told to leave once it started. Now for the greater challenge: getting the hell down without crying.

XXX

"You really should have said something kid." Troy scolded me, his hand on the back of my neck, gently massaging the tension out.

"Please don't call me that, it makes this unbelievably creepy." I glanced over at his smirking face. It was my own fault; I had really thought I could make it down without a problem. I had made it halfway down when one of my heels went right through the grated floor of the fire escape, causing me to fall on my face. After that, I had been so done. I couldn't go any further, breathing exercises had not helped at all. I didn't know how long I had been up there before my phone had started ringing.

"Maybe I should call you princess then since I had to rescue you." It was pathetic and horrible that he did. I had been stuck up there, unable to move. At least he had managed to keep his laughter to a minimum until we had gotten in the car. It had not been my finest moment.

"I knew I could get up there and do the job, okay? I would have gotten down eventually." I snapped.

"Surprised you didn't pop one of your little pills." His voice dripped with disdain. I didn't know what his problem was with the psych meds. I wasn't self-medicating; not really, it was the same dose my shrink had had me on for years. He was probably one of those people who saw difference between Babette's drug use and mine. I was tempted to slap his hand away but his touch was helping me calm.

"I'm not abusing them; I'd have my shrink call you if I could." I muttered, groaning as his thumb dug into a particularly tense knot.

"If you got a doc, why aren't you getting shit off of them?"

"Bad people are looking for me; first place they'd check is Doc Brown. Been seeing her for five years now." His hand stilled and I caught him looking at me. "Please watch the road." I scolded him.

"Why would a twelve year old need a shrink?"

"My father was an alcoholic, he became a nasty one after ma mere's death." I could almost see the wheels turning in his head, connecting the usual dots most people did. "He never touched me if that's what you're thinking." He visibly relaxed. I never understood why people automatically jumped to thinking of that. We didn't talk after that; he clicked on the radio after a few minutes of silence. I smiled at him as a new report went over the details of the shooting, my shooting. By time we pulled up to a restaurant, I was finally relaxed.

"You like Chinese?" I didn't point out that it was a little late to say no if I didn't since we were already there. Before we entered, he stopped and pulled out his wallet and handed me two cards. "I got you new ones since the old ones were shit. Dex's got a guy who deals with immigrants so that number will pop up as you." They were so much better than my old ones and, I held up the driver's license, my age was listed as twenty-one.

"You made me older and a driver?"

"You drive just as well as me and you can buy your own shit. Seriously a forty will get you just as drunk as that expensive shit."

"Thank you." I smiled at him, I hesitated a moment before closing the distance between us and kissing him. I was always nervous kissing when standing as odd as it sounds, years of watching Hollywood actresses having to tiptoe to kiss the lead made me feel awkward when I was the one that had to bend down. Troy was different, without my heels he was actually a few inches taller than I. Kissing was more intimate when you were level with the guy, there was more eye contact, no silly angling problems and it was so much easier to figure out where to place your hands. Mine were on either side of his neck, my thumbs stroking the light fuzz on his cheeks, I pressed my body against his, his hands going to the small of my back. I wanted nothing more than to push him against a wall but I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Jesus, you thank everyone like that?"

"You should see me when I'm really grateful."

XXX

For the record, I loved buffets; they were a special treat from the gods unto us humans. Or maybe it was just my love of fried bananas and Chinese doughnuts talking. Or it could be the whiskey I was drinking since the waitress fucked up my tea order. I didn't understand what was wrong with Americans and tea. Tea was best with cream and sugar, not goddamn lemon, especially not with lemon and cream. Why people did that was beyond me. Fucking lack of American logic.

The food was decent it was made better by the company. Troy kept trying to get me to open up to him, but I was good at avoiding taking about things as my therapist could have told him. He tried bribing me with info on himself, he was the middle child of five, his family was old school Irish and how he got started in the Saints. I knew he was letting me drink as much as I was because he was hoping I would get careless and tell him all, only thing that changed was my accent became more pronounced. Gods, he was so damn nosey.

"You eat like a kid." He shook his head as I sat down with another plate filled with deserts, most of my plates had had more junk food than actual food. I ignored him, popping a doughnut into my mouth, making a show of licking the sugar off my middle finger. "So what's your real name?"

"What makes you think Angelique isn't my name?"

"Oh, I know that's your real name, you wouldn't get so pissy over nicknames otherwise. However, you stumble over Montague every time you say it." I drained my glass, looking away from him, signaling over the waitress for a refill.

"My father use to say that Montague fit our family better because his good name was being destroyed by a bunch of whores, meaning ma mere, Babette and I." I pushed away my plate of sweets and sat back in my seat. "Figured it would be a good dig at him from the beyond."

"I'm not following."

"For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo." I quoted the bard. I hated the story with a passion having endured the jokes on my name growing up. "He always claimed the story would have ended up happy if the whorish ways of Juliet hadn't distracted Romeo from Rosaline."

"Yeah, it's been a while since high school, only remember I hate Shakespeare." I snickered. "Still that's a hell of a thing to say."

"He wasn't that far off, ma mere was in another man's bed when she died." The coroners had wheeled her body out on a stretcher, the wind picked up, blowing the bloody sheet off her body, neighbor's watching like vultures, snapping photos I'd see later on Facebook. "Babette sells herself to pay for drugs." I shrugged.

"What about you?" I played with my glass and shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can you take me home?" I downed my drink and stood up from the table. After taking a few wobbly steps, I had to take off my heels as I followed him back to the car. He was smart and didn't try to engage me in conversation as he drove until he pulled in front of my place.

"You going to be okay?"

"Besides from a case of perpetual arousal cause by you and exacerbated by alcohol, I'm fine." I unbuckled and leaned over, giving him kiss. "You really piss me off you know?"

"It's a habit of mine."

"Non, it's not the not having sex part." I struggled for the right words. "I don't like nor trust people but you," I didn't know how to express what I wanted to say. People left me all the time, they betrayed me, lied to me and made me hate humanity as a whole. I struggled with my exes but not with Troy, nor really any of the Saints. I felt at home with them. "je ne sais quoi." I finished lamely.

"Go home, you're sappy drunk."

XXXX

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not completely happy with this chapter.
> 
> Translation: je ne sais quoi = literally 'I don't know what'


	13. Chapter 13

You would think with having an alcoholic father, I would know better than to indulge in cheap whiskey. If the splitting headache wasn't bad enough, I was having wicked cramps courtesy of that bitch Mother Nature. Over the last couple months, I had been having trouble downstairs, often needing to stay home because of the intensity of the cramps, somehow I doubted the Saints would take that as an excuse. Anyhow explaining lady problems to the headmistress of my school was a lot different than explaining it to Julius. Just the idea of doing so was mortifying.

The onset of my lady time did help me calm down about my attraction to Troy. It explained so much. I like so many, made horrible, horrible decisions when hormonal. In fact, all my boyfriends, all three of them, happened during times like this. I became hormonal and just ended up jumping on the first guy that was nice and/or attractive. It made so much more sense now, I had been ovulating, hot guy is hot, evolution takes over and wants to bang said hot guy. Simple. Confiding in him about my family, even as little as I did was from the alcohol. I just needed to avoid Troy and alcohol; the combination of the two would end up being bad for me.

Troy was the curious type. I knew how I was, if I let myself get into a relationship, I would end up telling him everything. His constant questioning would make it so much easier to open up to him. Therefore, I couldn't allow there to be an us. I couldn't trust him not to plug my real name into Google or the like and alert anyone of where I was. I didn't know much about technology but I didn't want to take any chances. I doubted that Troy would figure out my last name was really Capulet. That would end badly.

I didn't feel like leaving the house today but I knew if I didn't that Troy would probably stop by to check on me. It was in my best interest to avoid him for a while. So I put on my big girl pants and headed to the church. The heat of the day was uncomfortable, making me hate Mother Nature even more as I stomped along in my black jeans and heavy boots, during this time of the month; I stuck to pants, not needing a repeat of a particularly embarrassing accident.

"Finally representing today, I see." Gat remarked when I got to the church. I had found a purple shirt whose color wouldn't end up clashing with my red when the dye finally faded out. I scowled at him in reply causing him to smile at me. "You want to help canonize some new blood?" The idea of causing others pain in my current mood made me smile.

"Hell yes."

XXX

Fun fact number one: Johnny Gat wasn't allowed to canonize people, apparently he had problems turning off the scary psycho killer in him and new recruits would flat out refuse to fight him. However, due to his skill, he was usually in charge of overseeing canonizations, which is why he had made sure I had been. He was the one that picked out who would do the fighting; he had to pick a balance between those who knew what they were doing and the crap fighters in order to not intimidate the new blood.

Fun fact number two: After helping with three fights, I wasn't allowed to fight anymore. Between my size and my gender, I was apparently emasculating the new blood. It was a fight and I couldn't understand what it mattered that I was female. Men and their egos, the bane of every woman's life. Since Johnny was so good at fighting, I asked him afterwards if he would help me become better at fighting.

Fun fact number three: Johnny's idea of teaching was basically beating the shit out of you until you learned better with an occasional lesson thrown at you. This was why I was on my knees, breathing through my nose, trying not to puke from the pain the blow to my stomach caused.

"See this is what I mean, you leave yourself completely open. You got to learn to protect your weak points better." He held down a hand to help me up.

"Gods, you're worse than a Spanish teacher who only speaks the language and expects you to learn that way." I bitched as I took his hand.

"And did you learn?"

"Eso es al lado del punto." He smiled right before he punched me again. "Son of a whore!" I tried to return the favor but he stepped out of the way, chuckling the whole time.

"See now, you would have dodged that if you were paying attention."

"We were talking."

"Happens. Not every motherfucker going to give you warning, you got to be ready." I spent the next hour having my ass handed to me. That's not to say I didn't any hits in. Johnny tended to protect his upper body more than anything, depending on his long reach to keep people away and with my long legs, it left his vulnerable. At the end of our session, I was pretty sure I had a permanent imprint of his ring on my kidney while he probably had one of my boot on his knee. "Not bad," He said as he sat down next to me, handing me a beer, "for a girl."

"You did not just go there." I scrunch up my nose, placing the beer down. No way was I drinking that shit.

"Hey, just saying, no matter how good you fight, guy's going to always be better." He shrugged as he took a swig of his swill. I stared at him in disbelief.

"No wonder Aisha breaks up with you on a regular basis." After being taken out of the fights, I had ended up talking with some others while waiting for a free minute to talk to Johnny. I was surprised to find that the two really were a couple, from everything that had been published about the singer; she didn't seem the rough and tumble type of girl.

"Hey she may break up with me but we always get back together. I'm irresistible." The smile on his face had me blushing.

"So can I ask you something personal?"

"Shoot."

"Troy mentioned that you, um." This was more awkward than I thought it would be. "Get off on violence."

"Pretty much." He said with a shrug. I hadn't expected him to be so blunt about it.

"Er, how do you handle it?" He looked me over.

"Up close and personal or from a distance?"

"What?"

"Which one gets you off? Personally, either one gets me off, though if I got to choose, I like to get right up in a motherfucker."

"How are you so casual about this? Doesn't it bother you?" I didn't know how to process this.

"See this is what I mean, fucking women always got to poke at shit. Fuck, bad enough I got to get this type of shit from Eesh. You want to have an existential crisis about how you feel, go right on ahead." He stood, grabbing the beer I hadn't bothered with. "My advice, find someone to fuck to burn off the high so you keep your head right, just make sure you don't hurt them in the process. Now if you excuse me I'm going to find my girl and follow my own advice." If a man could walk away in a huff, Johnny did it perfectly. I thought about what he said, my mind immediately seizing on the idea of burning off energy with Troy. Sure, he had said we were going to take it slow but what guy really turned down a blow job? My fertile imagination provided me with a graphic image of me on my knees in front of him, my dark skin on his. I admit that I had a thing for guys with lighter skin than mine. Something about the contrast

"Gods damn it." I muttered to myself. Stupid fucking hormones, hadn't I decided Troy was off limits? Gods, I wish I could fuck without getting attached to the person, but my father's words made it impossible. I made a mental note to pick up a vibrator ASAP.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XXX
> 
> A/N: This chapter has been brought to you through suffering by Geno who has bitten my hand six times and managed to turn off my pc twice.


	14. Chapter 14

Deciding to stay away from Troy and actually being able to avoid him were two very different things. No matter how much I tried to avoid him, I'd always seem to run into him. He always seemed to find when I was alone, his hand tangling in my hair as he pulled me to him, kissing me hungrily enough to leave me whimpering. He'd pull away with a satisfied smirk before leaving me there befuddled. It was annoying and aggravating especially since I had made the decision to stop all this. And yet, it was endearing and sweet, the way he would seek me out just to show a touch of affection was stupidly winning me over, causing me to have arguments often with myself.

I struggled to distract myself my thoughts. Fortunately for me, there was always a list of things that needed to be done, a list that was keeping me busy and away from the church. I used my talents of fucking everything up to the benefit of the Saints. There were always people who, much to my delight, willing to pay for destruction. Destroying property values was amazing fun, especially in areas that reminded me of home, and I had fallen hard in love with grenades. Unfortunately, I was paying it now.

During the past week, the weather had steadily gotten worse until the city was about to melt. It had gotten so hot, there were now "rolling blackouts" also known as the city trying to kill off the gang areas by diverting the power to the better areas of the city. Gasoline prices had skyrocket making it next to impossible to chill out in cars or leave for colder pastures. Bright side of it was that it kept the gangs in their own hoods since no one wanted to walk around in this heat, especially since public transit had shut down. At the very least I was lucky to be living in a basement apartment with no windows and it was cool enough to sleep at night. Of course, most people wanted to go to the beach at the very least, but some idiot had thrown a grenade that ended up rolling into the sewer, which ended up exploding the main and drenching the beach in e. coli. I'm pretty sure I would be murdered if anyone found out.

The heat could do strange things to a person. I should have been used to the heat having grown up down south but even I was dying out here. Hence the reason, several of us lady folk sat in the shade of the church watching the men folk practice in the blistering heat as there was nothing else to do. None of us had any usable electrics; half of our cells were dead since there hadn't been any power since Tuesday, no way out of the hood unless it was an emergency and an out of order beach making this our only entertainment.

It was good entertainment, I will say that. Watching Gat call the men a bunch of pussies while they were practically dying from the heat was interesting. Of course it probably helped the guys were trying to show off more with us all sitting there in very little. Every couple of hours we would all reapply sunscreen, drawing stares and cat calls until Gat kicked their asses back to work. I had given up the ghost of wearing real clothes the second my period ran away and was currently wearing a white bikini that contrasted very nicely with my dark skin. My outfit would have been obscene if I had larger breasts like the woman sitting next to me.

Roe the hoe, as she was affectionately called, was one of the madams who worked for the gang. With the extreme heat, she had given her girls off, unlike the Vice Kings who had no problem working theirs half to death. She was a beautifully built woman without an ounce of shame as she reclined on the steps next to me decked out in a bikini that made mine look like a burqa. She was around ma mere age with ebony skin, prematurely grey hair and a body of a porn star. I was tempted to be petty and ask if she was augmented, only the appreciative look Troy had given me when he walked by with Dex to go on a run. Roe had seen the look and had volunteered information on him, mainly how when he first joined the gang he had used a few of her girl, leaving them satisfied. I had politely declined to know more about any of that, leaving the woman laughing.

The other girls sitting with us, however wanted to know more about different guys in the gang that patronized her girls. Once I got over my initial embarrassment of talking about such things, everything fell into a familiar pattern. Society likes to think that men are crude when it comes to sex, however it was really women. I knew Jazzy, the Latina girl who preferred to work as a look out, was a chocolate chaser preferring skinny guys and tried to get info on Dex, while Lilly only slept with white guys because her parents were racist and while they understood the gang, they put their foot down on the dating other races. Carmen was a tiny little Asian woman who looked my age but was in her middle forties, she had lost one of her sons in a Carnales drive-by and helped the gang with supportive means, such as making sure the men were well and feed right, she had yelled at a group earlier about drinking in this heat before handing them water bottles. Every so often she would run off into the group of men and drag one back and force him to apply sunscreen. Then there was Destiny, the self proclaimed whore, which Roe corrected her that she was polyamorous, had two guys and one girl on the side. She was the gang's gunsmith; she provided a large amount of the gang's ammo. She was also the only one of us in full clothes; all of her exposed skin covered in zinc oxide, making her look like a steam-punk ghost. When she was asked why, her only reply was that she was Irish.

Destiny and I were engage in a discussion about the size of a man's penis and his level of douche baggery and how to measure it quantitatively when my words trailed off as I stared unabashedly at Gat when he took off his shirt.

"Holy shit, I could do my wash on those abs. He is way too pretty." I stated as I watched him.

"He's better naked." Aisha remarked as she joined us on the steps. "You should see his ass, you could bounce a quarter off of it." She held out her hands as if framing said ass while she smiled brightly.

"Sorry, didn't mean to ogle your man." She waved me off.

"Girl, I'm used to it, kind of makes you proud to have the man everyone wants." She smiled brightly.

"That doesn't make you jealous?" The idea of anyone ogling someone I was with usually drove me up the wall.

"No reason to be, I'm secure enough in myself not to worry." More women joined us watching as some more of the men took off shirts, trying to compete with Gat's hotness. By time the sun was setting there had to be thirty women camped out on the steps, we passed around drinks, slowly getting more rowdy and loud as we cheered on the men.

"So I got a question about Gat." I leaned over, having to practically yell in Aisha's ear over the din.

"Yes it is eight inches." She sighed and rolling her eyes, it took her a moment to realize I was just staring in shock at her. "What?"

"That was totally not my question. I am never going to be able to work with him."

"If it helps, Dex is the same size." Roe was delighted to tell me, Jazzy high fived the madam.

"Marzell is about six but he's pretty thick." Destiny felt free to add. "Oh, I thought we were talking about guys dicks. I'll just shut up." She smiled at my glare. The conversations just went downhill from there.

XXX

The all important run that Dex and Troy had to make turned out to be fixings for a barbecue. Julius had given us all a speech on how there was more at stake than just driving out the gangs, it was also about winning hearts and minds of the people. We need their support to stay in power, without it new gangs could rise up to get rid of us one day, which is how the Vice Kings and Saints had come to be. Since the row had been without power, most of us hadn't eaten fresh food; I myself had been stuck with ramen since I didn't have a working fridge. The barbecue was amazing, beer basted meats, a spread of different salads and fruit and lots of drinks. Someone had even figured out how to hook up some music and party lights. Most of the gang ended up pairing off or hanging out in groups, somehow I ended up relaxing in Troy's arms.

His chest rumbled against my back as he argued with another over some football stats, his hand idly stroking my arm while I and the other girl shared a pained look. Roe had given me a convincing argument on women's places in the gang, she explained while the Saints were more female friendly, the old rules still held. Unless a woman was a complete and total badass such as Lin, she was someone to be taken care of and protected. There were ways around this unspoken rule however, be a complete badass and fight a constant uphill battle as Lin did or attach yourself to man who was respected as Tanya did in the Vice Kings. Sure, she was a joke, a whore and a horrible person but she could do damn well what she wanted as long as she had two men wrapped around her fingers. This is why the guys had a problem with me helping canonizing new people. I was not a total badass; I was still a relative newbie and had no male attached to me.

This was the reason there were very few single women in the gang, it caused a hell a lot less stress for everyone one than to challenge the standard norms. It made a lot of sense and more importantly gave me a good reason to go against my better judgment when it came to Troy. Gods, it was stupid but I missed the little things about being with a guy and already he was giving me some of those things I craved. Troy at least was a safe choice and as long as I didn't tell him my past, he wouldn't inadvertently betray me.


	15. Chapter 15

Bitches be crazy. Troy was starting to understand why Gat said it so often. It was one of Gat's favorite sayings as long as Aisha was nowhere in sight, one time he had and the girl had given him the biggest puppy eyes Gat had agreed to see the latest chick flick. Gat would never admit to the fact that he was whipped. It was a joke between himself and Dex, they kept it to themselves as Gat would probably beat them to an inch of their lives if he found out.

Every man knew women were crazy, which is why Troy didn't bother trying to figure out Ang's mercurial moods. He was old enough to know that you didn't try to get a straight answer out of a woman, no matter their age, they would never have one. He had noticed ever since their last talk, she had been going out of her way to avoid him. He didn't bother to ask the reasoning behind it, she would tell him when she was ready. He wasn't going to let her back out so easily, if she wanted out she would have come out and say it. Not that he really gave her a chance.

Each day he managed to find her and while she may have wanted to end things but when his lips were on hers, she was the one to press their bodies together, clinging to him as she whimpered against his lips. She would look at him with pleading eyes when he pulled away, leaving her with a dazed look on her face. It was the highlight of the day really, what with all the trouble going on.

With the death of Hector Lopez, the los Carnales were fracturing beyond repair. He had been the brains of the gang, Angelo was led too easily by his cock and coke. The latest attacks from them carried no rhyme or reason, they were slowly falling apart, the only thing holding them together was Victor, who still wouldn't go down after emptying a clip in the motherfucker. Once he was gone, Angelo would quickly follow and the los Carnales would fall like a pack of cards. On top of the gang troubles, there was worst heat wave in the city in over two decades and with it people were losing their minds.

Violence was breaking out in the city and for once it wasn't caused from the gangs. For once he was glad he was part of the gang, Julius cared about the people in the gang and in the hood. He assigned folks to take care of the people, sending the younger ones on food runs since the city was trying a new tactic of using the heat as a cover to sweat out the gangs and cut the power. He didn't have a fucking clue who authorized such a shit plan, if he found out he swore he'd kill the fucker. It wasn't like the police liked the plan either; it was causing too many problems since now they were dealing with civilians who would normally not cause any problems.

That's not to say that the Saint weren't pulling standard operations, members brave enough to tough out the heat were still out doing work bringing respect to the gang. As the temperatures rose to deadly heights, Julius closed down operations until further notice, much to the horror of Dex. He had been busy trying to get the drug front running with the new factory but they needed top product and for that they needed the Colombians, especially much do his dismay, Dex had nixed his idea of offing Orejuela. Finding the man was a little harder than they had thought, they were waiting for a time and place to meet him that would keep them from also running into Angelo at the same time. When Julius had pulled the plug on everything, Dex had flipped out, ranting on how Jules needed to start taking him seriously. Troy had just let the guy rant as they went on a food run. Dex had some serious authority issues, mainly that he wasn't in charge.

Dex wouldn't have thought twice about taking care of the people outside the gang though to be honest neither would he if he was the one running things. When they had left the church that afternoon, most of the gang was just hanging around, the new guys being drilled by Gat, who had a way of convincing baby gangers they could do so much better. Hell, if Gat would apply himself more, he'd probably take over the gang if something happened to Julius but as it was he was happy just fucking shit up and hanging out. Speaking of hanging out, when he had left, there had been only a handful of women sitting in the shade, watching the men while being catty and snarky as women are, Ang among them wearing a bikini that left little to his imagination. It unnerved him that she had been talking to one of the gang's madams, there was no telling what she would hear from the woman.

XXX

Despite the heat, people liked a good party. They didn't let it get them down as they pigged out and danced like idiots. As a rule, Troy didn't dance, slow dancing maybe but never this full body rhythmic dancing so many people preferred. He had danced exactly twice that way before deciding never to do it again; he looked far too much of a jackass doing it. Instead, he preferred watching other people make asses out of themselves, his personal favorite to watch was Gat trying to dance with Aisha.

"Hey." He looked away from the dancing mass to find Ang at his side. She caught him off guard as she kissed him. It wasn't a quick peck either; no this was a full on, I-want-to-fuck-you kiss, complete with body language of her pressing her body against him. Her skin was hot from the day's heat, she smelled of coconuts and was dripping water from her hair. She gave him a shy smile when she pulled away and even in the dim light he could make out her blush.

"What brought that on?" He was surprised by her actions considering they were in the middle of a crowd.

"Just happy to see someone who isn't going to talk about Gat's cock or any of the other members."

"What? Why the fuck were you talking about that?" He knew he was tired from the heat but that hadn't made any sense.

"You'd be surprised what girls talk about. I can now safely tell you about all the things you never wanted to know about the men."

"I'll pass." He loped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "Say anything nice about me?"

"Half of them think you're sweet for wanting to wait while the others think you're a pretentious ass." She pressed her hands against his chest as she rose up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I just think you're a tease." She whispered in his ear. He ran his hand through her wet hair, drawing her into another kiss.

"Why are you all wet?"

"There are so many bad things I could say in reply to that." She drawled out, giving him a cheeky grin. "Couple of guys got pissy from the catcalling, so they pelted us with water balloons. Destiny beat Leroy with her parasol until it broke." He shook his head. He knew the kid made them by hand with a metal frame, he was disappointed he missed it. "Can you take me home later?"

XXX

Since her place was a basement apartment, it was actually rather cool, however it was pitch black, even the little LED candles she had barely touched the darkness. He stretched out on her bed watching her over the rim of his glass, she hadn't bothered changing out of that bikini and with the soft lighting and wine this was a little too romantic for his taste. He wasn't much of a wine drinker, no, he was more of a beer and whiskey kind of man but the wine she gave him didn't have that aftertaste like most wine he had tried and tasted of dark cherries.

"I'd be careful drinking it so fast." She smiled at him over her glass as he downed his.

"Only a pussy gets drunk off wine Angel." She shook her head as she poured them both fresh glasses, emptying the bottle. "I should be warning you, lightweight."

"I'm French, I was drinking merlot in my sippy cups." He watched her as they drank in silence. He waited practically able to see her thinking of what to say whatever was on her mind. He wondered if she had to translate everything in her head before she opened her mouth or if she really did put too much thought into what she was saying. "I know I said I wanted to keep things between us but talking to the others put a lot in perspective for me. I apologize for not talking to you first." He smothered a laugh at the contrite look on her face.

"So what changed your mind?" He'd probably regret asking but female logic never failed to amuse him.

"Okay, so if Aisha picked a fight with someone, say Leroy and beat the shit out of him, who would Leroy run to and tell?"

"If he wasn't scared shitless of Johnny that's who."

"Okay, now if Lin beat the crap out of him, who does he run to?" He rubbed his hand over his goatee as he thought and finally shrugged. "That's the reason there aren't that many single ladies in the gang, you men have a problem with powerful women. All of you have less of a problem when you can place it all on her man. It's a throwback to your cavemen days." She bit her lip. "Not that I'm saying you personally are threatened just men in general and it works out better for me if people know about us. The idiots who have problems with me being better than them," she waved her hand, trying to find the right words, "anything I can do better they attribute to you and don't take out their inadequacies on me, like they do with Lin."

"So it was all for show?" He teased. He was surprised the explanation actually made some kind of a sense. The only problem with this was he would have to figure out what he would tell his handler when it came up. He was suppose to report on significant changes in the gang or in his personal life. He could probably come up with something halfway decent.

"No! That's not how I meant it." She looked horrified at the idea.

"Relax, I'm teasing you." He ran his thumb over her lip before kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him as she straddled his hips, pressing close to him, moaning against his lips as she rocked against him. He gripped her hips, stilling her movements, she whimpered, her fingers running through his hair as he pushed her away. He wanted nothing more than to push her down on the bed and relieve the ache she had created, but he listed the reasons why he wasn't going to just yet.

"Oh you ass." She chuckled darkly. "You can't keep teasing me like this." She shook her head as she got off him, padding over to her kitchen and getting herself a glass of water. "You better be worth all this frustration."

"I could say the same thing." He stood and promptly stumbled. The room spun around him, still bobbing as he gripped the wall. There was no way he had gotten drunk off of a bottle of wine. "You got to be fucking kidding me."

"I warned you. Good wine has a habit of sneaking up on you." She pushed him back on the bed. "And I buy very good wine."

"I'll be fine."

"You're staying the night, there's no way in hell I'm letting you drive like this." Her voice was as stern as a nun's. "Get comfy. I promise to be good for the night."

XXX

For what it was worth, she kept her word until morning. After forcing him to stay for the night, he was surprised she didn't try to press him into going further with her. Yeah, he knew he was being pigheaded and foolish but a man needed to be able to look himself in the mirror when he got up. She merely took his clothes from him leaving him in his boxers and folded them nicely for him. She then left him to get settled as she went to shower. He was half asleep by time she finished up, the smell of cinnamon clung to her skin as she joined him in bed. He shouldn't have been so surprised that he slept so well, most of his girls had been sleep cuddlers too, hell it was one of the things he had missed.

He was surprised however by the raging headache he woke with. Jesus he hadn't had one this bad since he was a teen, it was going to take a truckload of aspirin to get rid of this one. He must have made some noise as he felt her stir next to him.

"Wine headaches are the worst, aren't they?" She stroked her hand over his chest. "I have a very good cure for it." She pressed a kiss to his chest, her hand stroking lower, her touch hesitant as she reached the top of his boxers. "Would you like me to show you?" He was pretty sure he knew what her cure was. The bed sifted as she rose up, her hands caressing his chest as she kissed and sucked at his neck. "I'm very good at it." He cupped the back of her head as she played with a sensitive spot that made him gasp. "And unlike you, I don't tease." She chuckled as he nodded his head. He was definitely not putting this in his report.


	16. Disappointments all around

I hadn't planned on getting him drunk. I had warned him twice about the wine; both times he just waved off my warnings. I was surprised that he didn't fight me when I insisted that he stay the night, I knew how some drunks could be and was grateful he didn't fight me on it. Even in the dim light, staring down at him in my bed was a tad bit too much for me; I forced myself to stay in the shower under freezing cold water until every dirty idea was replaced by sanity. Fortunately for me, he was asleep by time I emerged. It took every single bit of willpower I had just to climb into bed and not touch him. I really would have to get a chair or something for my place to keep something like this from happening again. Or just be the responsible one and not let him have any wine ever again.

It was still early when he first woke up with a groan. I smiled to myself knowing full well what his problem was. I had taken precautions to keep from waking up with the same headache but hadn't offered the same for him. Petty I know but I couldn't resist teaching him a lesson. That and I knew a good way to get rid of a hangover. I was surprised he actually agreed when I offered it but then again, we were in bed, both half naked and it was dark. Things were always easier to agree to in the dark. I kissed my way down his chest, biting and nipping at his flesh, his hand on my head trembled slightly as I reached his hips, my fingers dipping just under the elastic band of his boxers.

"Off." He hesitated long enough that I thought he was going to put an end to this but in the end, he did ask commanded. His breath echoed in the room, sounding loud and harsh as I pressed kisses along that sensitive flesh where hip and leg blend, while my fingers teased the inside of his thigh, just stopping shy of where he wanted my touch. I teased him, my hand spread on his thigh, my thumb stroking just shy of him, the hand on my head gently urging me closer. I moved his hand off my head, lacing my fingers with his, pressing them on his stomach. I had learned the hard way not to let a guy keep his hand on my head after almost being choked once. I mourned the lack of light as I wrapped my fingers around the base of him, I loved the look on a guy's face when I did this but I think that in the light, I would have lost my courage.

"Jesus." He cursed, his body tensing as I ran my hand up his length, trying to judge what I had to work with. Gods, he was rock hard, the veins practically popping for attention as I caressed him. "Ang, we should-", I took him in my mouth, cutting off his ability to speak. In the darkness, he couldn't see me glare at him. I should have known he would start having second thoughts. As I licked and sucked on him the only words that passed his lips was pleads for more and the occasional curse. Each time I felt him tense more, his fingers still laced with mine squeeze tighter, I backed off giving him lazy strokes, blowing gently on his moist member until he fell away from the edge, at one point I had to pin down his other hand as he tried to force me to continue. I kept it up until I had him begging in gaps and moans; I worked him in my mouth hard and fast going down on him as much as I dared. I untangled my hands from his as I stroked him, keeping him from gagging me as his hips rose up, swallowing him down as he cried out.

"So how's that headache?" I asked as I settled back down in the bed next to him. I smiled as I listened to him try to catch his breath.

"Jesus fucking Christ, where the hell did you learn that?" The bed sifted as he turned, his hand running up my arm to rest on my cheek as he moved closer.

"Ex convinced me that it would be easier giving up smoking if I focused on a different oral activity." He pulled me against him, his hand trailing down my body, lifting my leg so that it was resting on his hip.

"Yet you still smoke." His fingers slid up the sensitive underside of my thigh. "Why is that?"

"Jordon broke up with me because I was giving him head too often, he reasoned that if I was doing it that often I had to be cheating." His bark of laughter echoed through the room. He surprised me when he kissed me, his tongue delving into my mouth leaving me gasping as his fingers brushed aside my thong running his fingers over my dripping flesh. He pushed me onto my back, tugging at my thong. "Off." Unlike him, I didn't hesitant, throwing the damn thing across the room in my hurry. My actions caused him to laugh against my lips as he drew me back down. "I swear if you don't finish it this time, I'll hurt you." I warned him.

"No teasing." He promised. He kept his word as his hand dipped between my legs. "Fuck, you're soaked." I wanted to respond with something snarky but my breath caught in my throat as he thrust a finger in me, his thumb flicking over my clit. "Do you have any idea all the things I plan to do you?" He robbed me of speech as he added another finger inside dragging them slowly against my swollen flesh. I clung to him, scrapping my nails over his scalp as I kissed him, my hips moving of their own accord as he drove me to sweet ecstasy. I was so close, so very close when he stilled, pulling away from me. Over the sound of our breaths there was a shrill ringing sound. "Fuck, where are my pants?" He jumped off the bed, heading over to wear I had folded his clothes. The sudden brightness of his cell phone blinded me for a moment. "Mike, yeah I'm here." I watched dumbfounded as he turned his back to me and started getting dressed. "Yeah, no, I wasn't doing anything important." I clenched my jaw. "Yeah, I can be there in twenty." He hung up. I stared at him waiting for him to say something. In the dim light he stared down at the phone, he seemed to withdraw into himself, his eyes as blank as his face even the way he stood there was different now. He looked at me and for a moment he looked so damn angry before that slid away into blankness. "I'll see you later." That was all he said as he walked out of my place. The hell was that?

XXX

I will never understand men. I wish I could say it was just Troy but I always have had trouble understanding men. I would have thought with him being older, he'd be much less complicated. Alas no. If anything he seemed to have more hang-ups than the guys I usually dated. Now, Johnny, he was an easy guy to understand. Give him some heads to crack in and things to blow up and he was happy as a lark and in my current mood he was the most beautiful person I had ever known. And unlike Troy, Gat had delivered some prime satisfaction.

The smoking crater that was once Kingdom Come Records was probably the most beautiful thing I had seen all week. I smiled at my handiwork as I smoked a cigarillo on a park bench waiting for the taxi I called to pick me up. I had gone to the church this morning unable to get back to sleep and unlike Troy, none of my electronics had power including the fancy rechargeable vibrator I had bought. There really had been nothing to do expect stew in frustration and anger. When I had gotten there I had found Johnny and Aisha fighting, which apparently was the norm for them. They had been fighting so hard they hadn't noticed me until I cleared my throat when the fighting started to turn in another direction. Cock-blocking Johnny definitely made the day so much better.

After some glaring Johnny had filled me in on the plan to "kill" Aisha. It had really been an easy job, the only complication had been one of her stalker fans following us. A quick stop at a red light and a bullet through the head solved that. I had seen the ending of Selena, fans were never any good. After that it had been smooth sailing, I had driven as carefully as someone learning on the fly could. I found myself liking Aisha, she was the kind of girl I was use to hanging out with, talking with her made me miss my best friend Bunny. On the way to blow the building, she told me all about her and Gat. It was kind of sweet, the two of them being childhood sweethearts and her having not ended up killing Gat at times, which she assured me was difficult. I told her about this morning and she had patted my arm empathizing with me, stating that not even her man was that much of an ass to leave like that. I could barely wait to through that in his face after I punched him of course.

I was anxious to get back to the church now; Gat had promised that if I did this quick enough I could take part in a raid. Anything to fuck up as many people's day would be good.

"Nice work there, kid." Gat greeted me as I strolled back in his office. "News is already on it and the fan sites are all a buzz." I slapped his hand away when he went to ruffle my already messy hair. I hadn't bothered styling it today and the heat made my hair look like little orphan Annie's. I joined him at the map with several others. "Okay, listen up. This job is a favor for Roe. We going to be hitting this brothel, she wants it closed down but more importantly, she wants the girls taken. According to her sources, more than half of these girls have been forced to work at this place. Eesh's sister could have wound up there if it wasn't for this motherfucker right here." I sighed as he ruffled my hair, what was it about curly hair that made people want to do that? "That means no shooting the fucking girls, got it? You three are going in with me, you two are watching the front door, grab any of the girls that run out front and toss them in the van same goes for you two at the back." He pointed at me and Julio. "You waste any men who come out. Shouldn't be too hard to remember, alright? Now just remember, half of these girls are going to be flying high so they might give you all problems take it easy with them."

XXX

From the sounds of things, the job was going well. Julio and I were bored out of our minds since no one seemed to want to use the back door to escape. A few times the door shook but no one opened it.

"I see you sorted out your kind of dating problem, chica." Julio teased me.

"Don't remind me, he's kind of on my shit list right now." He laughed.

"That's great to hear. Do me a favor, if you two fight make it loud and explosive like Gat's and Aisha's. You have no idea how great it is for all us lowly guys when the lieutenants have problems with their girls. It's probably the best entertainment in the city."

"Why would it be entertaining?"

"Look, if even Gat and Troy can have girl problems, it kind of gives the rest of us hope." He gave me an apprehensive look. "Especially if a pasty motherfucker like Troy can get a girl like you."

"Pasty?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Tell me the truth chica, he glows in the dark doesn't he?" I was saved from answering the question as the door burst open and two females ran out, he grabbed the one while the other took off. I yelled to him that I would handle it and chased her down. I finally caught up with her a block away and managed to tackle her down to the sidewalk. The smell of sweat, mogra and Indian sandalwood assaulted my nose as I managed to get us to our feet. Dread curled in my stomach as I turned the woman around and stared into a face as familiar as my own. Babette was shorter than me by several inches, her skin was that creamed coffee look like our mother's that I had always envied, she also had her hair, long, silky and black. Right now she looked horrible, her skin was pallid, track marks old and new lined her arms and her eyes had that hollow look she usually hide from me.

"Babette, I've been looking everywhere for you." I threw my arms around her, holding my sister close. "I have so much to tell you." I could feel tears threatening to over take me.

"Non, you're not real." I felt her shake her head and try to pull away from me. "You won't trick me this time Gabriel." Oh perfect, she was hallucinating. Pain suddenly became my world as she pushed me away, a switchblade in her hand covered with blood, my blood. I looked down in shock, blood was gushing out of my side. The amount of blood all over my nice white shirt made me dizzy and the ground rushed up as the world faded to black.


	17. Chapter 17

A lot of people joke about how they were accidents, my grandmother was more than kind enough to inform me that I truly was one. After my siblings were born, ma mère had her tubes tied but not burnt and lo and behold out I popped seventeen years later. Seventeen years is a huge gap between siblings and I probably would have never become close with Babette if it wasn't for Gabriel's death. I couldn't remember much of her twin, the clearest memory I had of him was of his death when I was five. Beyond that I had the vague impression he had been kind of an asshole.

His death had shaped my whole life, I hated him for that. My parent's marriage fell apart with father's drinking while ma mère turned to other men for comfort. I had once asked her why. _I want him to love me enough to fight for me again_. It was sad that he really only started caring about her once she was dead. I had been close to ma mère but it was Babette who paid the most attention to me. With the age gap between us, most people thought she was my mother, a fact she took advantage of every time she had to come to school due to my acting out, either of my parents finding out usually ended up with me a wreck. She was the one that was there to take care of me when I was sick, there to comfort me when I had my panic attacks that left me a mess and the only one who didn't treat me like a burden. I always tried to return the favor but in the end I couldn't.

As wonderful as a sister she was, there was something wrong with her. I never knew if the problems had existed before Gabriel died, my family refused to acknowledge that they existed as they got worse over the years. Babette saw… things and knew things she shouldn't have. When I was still in single digits she had seen doctors about it but they couldn't help her for long. Of course according to my family, there was no such thing as mental health problems in our bloodline, ignoring the fact that schizophrenia and depression was rampant and oh yeah, I suffered from near constant panic attacks at times. I was still young enough that schizophrenia was a threat. I couldn't handle my anxiety half the time, seeing or hearing things like my sister did, terrified me.

More than anything she often saw her twin, listening to one side of conversations between them was commonplace growing up. When doctors couldn't help her, she turned to street meds. The drugs had been the only thing that kept her lucid most days. She kept most of the signs of usage to herself, wearing long sleeves, hiding her supplies and not being completely out of it around me. She was the opposite of our father in that aspect, he never hid the fact he was a drunk, often embarrassing me when he showed up to school plays or sports stumbling drunk. Even with Babette's encouragement to stay in extracurricular activities, I couldn't face people's reactions when he would show up. She had been disappointed in me.  _You can't let others take away what you love, Angelique._

Maybe it was because she was better at being a parent and responsible addict than him that he hated her a little more than me. When he threw her out, cutting her off from the family fortune, I lost the only family I really had and made sure he knew at every moment how much I hated him. He returned the favor, especially in the end. He knew his debtors would try to take the money out of my hide. Bastard hadn't even cared enough to leave a note and warn me. It was his fault that I had been forced to find my sister. Everything that was happening was his fault really. He was the one to buy Gabriel the motorcycle he was killed on, he was the one to ignore ma mère feelings, which led to her death and he drove my sister away. It was him that I blamed for her stabbing me in my side. It was him that I was cursing internally as Gat stood over me bitching me out as a doctor treated the wound.

"How the hell can you pass out at the sight of blood? You just close your eyes every time you shoot someone?" I gave him a panicked look as the doctor worked on me. "Don't worry, none of these doctors give a shit as long as you pay them." The doctor shrugged obviously not caring one way or the other.

"I can't stand the sight of my own blood, other people's is fine with me."

"Man, that time of the month must be hell for you." He chuckled. "Do you pass out every time or do you have a spotter for you? How would you even ask someone to do that?"

"Don't be crude, Johnny." I glared at him.

"Come on, I'm just fucking with you. You see the whore who stabbed you?"

"Don't call her that." I snapped. I hated that word, I didn't care if that was what she was now. I couldn't stand that word. I had woken up in the hospital so I hadn't been able to tell anyone what happened yet. It was embarrassing to have been found passed out like that.

"You know who it was?" He looked positively perky at the idea. "We'll get the bitch, don't worry." That's right, Saints looked out for each other. I honestly didn't want to admit that my sister was selling herself for drugs; out of all the girls there she probably had been there voluntarily.

"You can't hurt her."

"Why the fuck not?"

"She's my sister."

"Well shit." All that perkiness deflated, I could see sympathy behind those shades of his. He lifted his hand to ruffle my hair.

"If you touch my hair one more time I will make you eat it." I snarled, causing him to snicker at me.

"I'll put the word out for you okay? She was probably higher than a kite and didn't know what she was doing." I didn't correct him, with my height and my hair dyed black; she probably did think I was Gabriel for a moment. I couldn't dye my hair again if I was going to have her around. I couldn't risk setting her off. If she was getting a regular supply she should have been more lucid than she had been. Most likely the Vice Kings didn't get the good stuff for their whores. Maybe when Dex got the drugs flowing for the gang I could ask him if there was a way I could pay for some premium heroin, the good stuff my family's money had been able to get had always kept her in better shape.

"Thanks. I'll get you a picture of her." The doctor finally finished up, giving me a brief rundown on the care of the wound. I started to feel woozy as he went on and described how close it had been, Gat loaned me his jacket leaving him in a white tee showing off that way too sexy body of his, mine was stained with enough blood to make the world go fuzzy.

"Not a problem." I slapped away his hand yet again when he tried to ruffle my goddamn hair.

"Would you stop that?" I practically screamed as we walked out of the emergency room.

"Not as long as it keeps annoying you." I glared at him as we waited for the valet to pull around his car. "It's just so soft and bouncy; it just begs to be ruffled." He did it again just to be an ass.

"Unlike yours, which you could use to gouge out eyes with." I snarled.

"Now you're just jealous."

"As if I would be jealous of a honey badger wannabe."

"Honey badgers ain't got shit on me."

"Wait you purposely did your hair like that?" In all honestly, I had thought he had just stopped dying his hair. I made a mental note to pick up some supplies later; I wasn't going to end up with black tips.

"Fuck yeah, it's a friendly warning. You don't fuck with honey badgers and you don't fuck with Johnny Gat."

"And I just best everyone takes that warning."

"Nah, motherfuckers always make the mistake and ignore the warning." He grinned at me. "You know, you're the first person to notice." He gave me a one armed hug. "Smart, not too bad to look at and can kick ass almost as well as me, hell I might just adopt you if you don't find your sis."

"Wow, Johnny, you're such a charmer no wonder Aisha put up with you." I said flatly.

"The eight inches help." He laughed at the pained expression on my face and of course ruffled my hair. I was going to start stabbing people if this kept up. "Well, shit." He said after a moment, pushing aside a section of my hair, leaning in close and looking over the rims of his shades.

"What?" I felt my heart speed up; did I have a cut on my head that I hadn't noticed?

"You're a redhead."

"I hate you so much right now."

XXX

"Fuck, I hate you so much right now." Gat echoed my words back at me as we pulled up to the church. The street was a mess, dead Carnales everywhere, two cars that were busy being on fire and on the church steps was a corpse on fire, Troy and Dex standing over it, looking a little worse for wear. "Yo, you got to be kidding me." He gave me a disgusted look that he had missed the action. "I was hoping to kill the motherfucker."

"We probably would have been here for it if you hadn't insisted on stopping at Freckle Bitches'." He just glared at me for the reminder. We had been in the drive through for half an hour before finding out they were waiting for the power to come back on. He had been ready to kill someone after that.

"Yeah, well you're the one that took forever at that shop." It had taken me exactly five minutes to pick up supplies. I watched Troy pull out a cig and lean down. He really wasn't going to…

"What?" Troy asked after he lit his cig, using the flames from the corpse much to the disgust of Dex and I. "Where you been?" His eyes narrowed as he looked back and forth between Gat and I. The two of us probably made a sight with me wearing his jacket that was at least two sizes too big on me.

"Had to take her bitch ass to the hospital, gangbanger that passes out at the sight of blood, you ever hear of such a thing?"

"Own blood, there's a huge difference."

"Meh, whatever. You owe me for making me miss this." He looked around. "Clean up is going to be a bitch, I'll get the crew started on it. Try not to prick your finger and pass out again princess." He was never going to let me live this down.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a moment?" I wanted ask now about the drugs before Dex got things up and running.

"Yeah, come on." Troy, of course, thought I was talking to him.

"I was talking to Dex, Troy." Dex looked between the two of us, his lips kicking up in amusement. I followed Dex into his office, closing the door in Troy's face just to be catty.

"The two of you are going to be a regular Gat and Eesh, ain't you?" Dex chuckled at the sour look on my face. "So what's up?" I explained the situation about Babette. "Come on Ang, how you going to pay for that? Be serious now." He said after I voiced my request, shaking his head at me. "She'd be better off in a hospital."

"She never stays on the meds but the heroin she takes like clockwork." He gave me a long look before shaking his head.

"I'm not going help you."

"What? Why?" I had thought that he would be willing to help; I could get the money even if it meant putting myself in danger of them finding me.

"I'm going to give you a piece of advice. You can't fix people and you aren't responsible for them."

"She's my sister, Dex. She's the only family I have left."

"I understand that but you giving up everything for her isn't going to fix her. She has to do that herself. You give up everything for her and she doesn't get better, one day all that love you use to look at her with will be nothing more than bitter hate and you'll wonder why you haven't killed her." He waved me off, picking up his notebook and began writing in it. I guess that was the end of that. I left, sitting down in one of the pews staring up at the broken altar. How many times had I gone to church asking God for help with my family? How many times had Father Matthews told me that He worked in mysterious ways before I left Catholicism behind with a bad taste in my mouth? No one made such bullshit excuses for the Goddess and her consort. They offered guidance, but didn't make things happen, it was up to you to make things happen. And right now, I felt fucking useless. I dropped my head in my hands as tears coursed down my face. I had been so close. I felt the pew dip as someone sat down beside me, the smell of smoke and cologne told me it was Troy without having to look. He put an arm around my shoulders. I leaned against him, burying my face against his chest. He let me cry until I was out of steam, not saying a word, just stroking a hand through my hair. He'd probably ask me fifty thousand questions later. I sat up wiping off my face, I wasn't a pretty crier.

"Come on, let's get you home so you can at least get changed." He drew me to my feet. The way he said it made me think he really didn't like seeing Johnny's jacket on me. "Here I'll drop off the jacket before we leave." I hid my smirk as he drew down the zipper, revealing the fact I had nothing on underneath. He blinked like a deer in headlights for a moment before hurriedly pulling the zipper back up. I saw the gears in his head turning as he processed it. Sometimes men were so damn predictable.

"Get that thought out of your head." I poked him in the chest. "I'm still pissed at you; don't make it worse by saying something stupid."

"What are you pissed about?" He honestly sounded confused. It was all too much, I snapped and punched him, his head jerked to the side with the force of it and he stumbled back a step.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything important. Yeah I can be there in twenty minutes." I tried my best to mock his accent. "You could have finished what you were doing and had ten minutes to spare with the way you drive."

"Fair enough." He tenderly touched his cheek. "Feel better?"

"Non, I think I pulled a stitch."


	18. Chapter 18

"Get the hell away from my bed. You are banned from being anywhere near it, in fact just go stand in the corner." I snapped at Troy as he went to sit down. He gave me a pointed look and made a show of sitting down. I glared at him as I went about plugging in my poor deprived electrons. It felt like a miracle when I had opened my door to find the AC on and my lights working, I didn't waste any time gathering my things and pulling them in, well, except for my vibrator. I wasn't about to pull that out in front of him. I said a prayer, hoping and begging the power would be on long enough to charge something fully; I was tired of being bored out of my mind.

"You want to talk about what happened?" I leaned against the countertop and took a deep breath. Talking about what happened would lead to too many questions from him and as much as I wanted him, I wasn't about to let him into that part of me, that would only end in heartbreak.

"Non, not yet. Talk about anything else but that please."

"Okay. So why aren't you wearing a bra?" I rolled my eyes at the question as far as distractions went it was a good direction.

"I don't know if you've notice but I'm small enough not to need one."

"No I didn't notice. I think you should come over here and let me get a better look." He said it so nonchalantly as if it was only of an academic interest to him. I shook my head, knowing full damn well I shouldn't be so charmed by it. "Come on Angel." He patted his lap. "I need to check your wound anyhow." I was nervous now, it was silly considering what we had been doing this morning but I couldn't help it. He crooked his fingers at me beckoning me over. It was hard crossing the room to go to him even when he placed his hands on my hips and drew me down so that I was straddling him. The look he gave me told me he had noticed, he didn't say anything, just laced his fingers through my hair and kissed me. He kissed me long and hard until the last of the butterflies disappeared to be replaced with a most delectable lust. He drew back from the kiss smiling. "That's much better." I didn't want to think about the implications that he was already learning how to manage me. He drew down the zipper, helping me out of the jacket and throwing it halfway across the room. He looked to the wound first, lifting my arm as he inspected it. I stared firmly at the wall, not needing to get sick from looking at it. "You didn't pop a stitch but you're going to have a scar here."

"You know I didn't have any scars before I joined this damn gang." Something about my remark made him still, after a moment he let my arm fall back down and looked at me; his eyes had not a hint of the previous lust but complete seriousness.

"I'm not going to lie to you, this is a hard life. Things are going to get worse Angel, you need to seriously think about this, it's not all fun and games, you could end up dead and you will probably lose friends, if not from other another gangs then by the law." He cupped my cheek. "Look, it's not unusual for women in the gang to fade away. No matter how good you are, people would write it off as another woman who couldn't handle the violence. If you ever want out, I'll get you out." I rubbed my face against his hand as I thought. I knew people were going to die, hell, I had probably killed someone's best friend by now. It should bother me but it didn't and that was what bothered me. I was sure that an offer like this wasn't given lightly and that it would cause problems for him if I took it. I didn't know why he was offering but I wasn't going to bring down the mood by pointing out that the gang was all I had now or pointing out that the gang was the best way to find Babette again. I certainly wasn't going to mistake the offer for some hint of deeper emotions, it was mostly likely because he had seen what could happen and didn't think I was capable of handling it.

"Troy, you have a half naked girl in your lap, can't you think of better things to talk about?" I placed a kiss on his palm. "Or maybe you could finish what you started this morning?" Emotions chase through his eyes and I watched him come to some type of decision.

"Only if you're good." He teased, dropping the subject, his eyes dropping away from mine as his hands moved over my body. His hands cupped my breasts, thumbs flicking over my already hard nipples. He kept at it as he kissed me, biting gently on my lower lip. "I have a theory I can make you come from just playing with that lip of yours." He mused after I had whimpered when he had sucked on my lip.

"Stop playing." I begged, running my hands through his hair pressing fevered kisses to his lips. He held me tight against him, the roughness of his shirt scrapping against my already swollen breasts, his hands wandered down my back, ending up cupping my ass, his fingers playing with my soaked flesh.

He pulled aside my thong, teasing my flesh for a moment before sinking a finger into me. "Fuck, are you always this wet?"

"Only around you." I panted against his lips as he toyed with me. "Every time I'm around you all I can think about is how I want that mouth of yours on me."

"Here?" He gave me another one of his mind scrambling kisses, his tongue thrusting in time with his fingers. "Or maybe here?" He kissed his way down the side of my neck as he played with me almost lazily. I almost screamed in frustration when he withdrew his fingers when I started rocking harder against his hand.

"Goddamn it Troy."

"I said I would get you off, stop trying to rush it." He slapped my clit gently making me cry out. "You going to be good?" He sank his fingers into me rubbing against that spot that had me clinging to him.

"I'll be good, please don't stop." I pleaded with him. He teased me, a knowing smile on his face as he kept backing off as I got close. Much to my horror, his cell started ringing. "Don't you dare answer that."

"Got to, might be something important." He sifted slightly pulling out his phone but not bothering to remove his fingers. "Dex, what's up?" He shushed me as I whimpered, grabbing his wrist, trying to stop him as he continued to play with me. I dug my nails into his wrist in an effort to stop him but he sped up his ministrations if anything. I tried rising away from him, scrambling to get away from his horrible teasing but he only balanced the phone on his shoulder as he secured my wrists with one hand, holding me in place as he still played with me. I buried my face against his neck trying to muffle my panting and close out his conversation. It seemed like they talked forever as he continually took me to the edge, never allowing me to finish.

"Yeah, she's right here, hold on. Dex wants to talk to you." I looked at him in horror and shook my head. There was no way I was going to talk while he did this. "Either take the phone or I won't continue until next month." He whispered against my ear as he let go of my hands holding out the phone to me. The look on his face was serious, so serious that I didn't put it past him that he would do it. I snatched the phone out of his hand, I pressed the other hand against his chest, trying to separate as much as possible from him.

"What?" I snapped, trying to control my breathing. Troy took that moment to lean forward and use that mouth of his on my breast. My gods, that goatee of his added so much.

"Yo, I know you're mad at me but don't give me that attitude." Dex snapped right back.

"Je suis vraiment baise occupé." I tugged at his hair, pleading with my eyes for him to stop. He looked me straight in the eyes as he swirled his tongue around my nipple.

"Did you just cuss me out?" Troy looked at me in amusement at my inability to form English words. "Whatever. Look, get your ass back here by six, I need you on a job." Dex was in the middle of saying something else but I hung the phone up on him just as I started to come. The phone crashed to the floor I spitefully hoped that it would break before I lost myself in pleasure. He didn't stop me this time as I rode his hand until I was completely spent, barely able to cling to him in the afterglow.

"Huh, didn't take you for the quiet type, thought you'd be a screamer."

"Je ne sais pas si je devrais vous haïr ou aimer vous dès maintenant." I muttered against his lips as I drew him to me. I was going to hit him as soon as I could move again.

XXX

"You ever hang up on me again like that and I'll take it out of your ass." Dex snapped at me as soon as I entered his office. "And I don't give a rat's ass if French is your first language, you speak English to you, understand?" My cheeks heated with embarrassment as I nodded and I wondered how long Dex would bitch me out. "Where's your man at?"

"He's doing something with Julius." Most of the time when I did anything with a guy, afterwards he left and I didn't see them for a few days, not so with Troy. The ride back to the church had been an awkward one for me, after everything he did; I didn't know what to say and his smug smirk didn't help one bit.

"Good, let's go." I followed him a little slower than I usually walked, my legs still felt like jelly. Troy had made up for this morning, more than made up. It had been embarrassing though when I forgot my English, it had amused the hell out of him though. It wasn't my first language, hell, it wasn't even my second, so when I was stressed or emotional I always tended to lapse back into French. And goddamn, Troy had definitely made me lapse hard. I felt odd about not returning the favor but his excuse of not trusting himself had left me feeling prideful. His ever so American idea of what sex was amused me, if you had asked me what we did counted, though I wouldn't tell him that. Afterwards he had helped me dress, his hands possessive as he insisted I wear one of my sexy bras, even when I explained it was decorative and not functional. Of course with Dex acting all puffed up, my good mood was dissipating.

"I'm sorry I hung up on you and I didn't curse you out. I was busy", I stressed the word, "with Troy." He glared at me over the hood of the car.

"I didn't need that mental image."

"I just wanted you to know that I wasn't being catty with you because you said no to me. I'm not that much of a spoiled brat."

"Next time, just let me stay angry and keep all that stuff outside of the church, I catch the two of you on my workstation I will not be happy." I hid my laugh behind a cough. The way he said it made it clear he had caught someone at some point. Out of everyone I had ridden with, Dex was the one who could drive like a normal person, stopping at signs, staying in the right lane and not running people over, hell he even had both hands on the wheel. It was not what I had expected out of him. It wasn't until we pulled up Technically Legal that I broke the silence.

"Dex, why are we at a strip club?"

"I got word that Orejuela is here, I need you to let me do all the talking, got it?" I grabbed his arm before he could get out of the car.

"Let me rephrase that. Why am I going with you into a strip club instead of Troy or another guy? I'm not exactly appreciative of other women's bodies."

"Which means you're more likely to pay attention to what's going on instead of ogling the girls, you feel me?"

"Troy strikes me as the type to pay attention-" He rolled his eyes before cutting me off.

"Then ask fifty million questions." We shared a smile. It was nice to know that someone else shared my annoyance with him. I had never been inside a strip club before, of course I had seen them in movies but nothing prepared me for what it was actually like. It smelled ungodly, booze, stale sweat and odors I didn't want to think where they were coming from. How could men get aroused in here? We found Orejuela in the VIP section after Dex slipped money to the doorman, he was being entertained by a set of giggling twins.

"Mr. Orejuela, I'm Dex Jackson and this is Angelique Montague, we represent the Saints and would like to talk to you." I fought to keep my expression pleasant as the man's eyes took in my appearance. We took the seats he offered as the twins left, I grimaced I sat down, wishing I had worn a longer skirt today, trying not to guess what the sticky stuff on the seat was. Dex launched into an obviously prepared speech about breaking away from the Carnales and siding with the Saints, the whole time Orejuela eyed me.

"Please, relax, how about some drinks?" He waived over a stripper/waitress. "Allow me to buy you a drink señora."

"Señorita please, unlike half the girls here, I'm actually under eighteen." I ignored the look Dex gave me.

"Of course, of course, my mistake." He gave me a critical look. "I feel like I have seen you somewhere before." After that he ignored me as he talked to Dex about business. I guess that it was a pretty standard deal, he would cut out the Carnales if we got his product back. It was clear the way he talked about the gang that he didn't trust Angelo managing things and knew they would be dying out soon. The two of them shook hands and much to my relief, we finally left and as we walked out, I could feel the man's eyes on me. It made me nervous, what if he knew the people who were looking for me?

XXX

Translations:

Je suis vraiment baise occupé: I am really fucking busy

Je ne sais pas si je devrais vous haïr ou aimer vous dès maintenant: I don't know if I should hate you or love you right now


	19. Chapter 19

Getting yelled at like a child was never one of my favorite things, fortunately for me I wasn't the one being yelled at, Dex was. Instead of being pleased with him, Julius was rimming him out about overstepping his place. Apparently even though he was a lieutenant, Dex didn't have the power to make deals for the gang leaving me to wonder what exactly the benefits of being one were.

"Jules, Orejuela has been hard to track down, I had to take the chance he was there."

"You should have called me then. I'm in charge of this gang not you and don't call me Jules, you haven't earned that right."

"Orejuela was just about to leave with a dancer when we got there; I doubt he would have waited for you." I lied trying to get Julius to back the hell off. Dex had been so damn happy when we had come back to the church to tell the good news, only to have Julius shut him down. I had been more than relieved to see Troy still with Julius and took the seat next to him, I was still been creeped out over the Colombian and couldn't get this feeling of dread out of my system. There was no way that the drug lord had ever seen me, maybe I just had a familiar face? Right, because there were so many women of my coloring and stature.

"If I had asked him to wait he might have taken offense at it and not dealt with us and then where would we be?" Had to hand it to him, he could think on his feet. Julius seemed to calm down after that and the two of them talked about the deal that Dex had arranged and I noticed he lied about the percentage but I didn't say anything. After the rimming he just received, I would feel entitled too. We would have to get the product back from the police and they would deal with us. At that detail Troy's hand stilled on my neck where he had been idly massaging the knot that had formed as Julius and Dex fought. I glanced over at him, noticing how his posture became rigid and the expression on his face. No, he didn't like the idea of going against the cops and frankly neither did I. Cops were never a good thing, most were corrupted and couldn't give two shits about their actual job. Even when I was a child I had been cautioned on the dangers of police. Never ever trust one. I found it odd that while Dex wasn't allowed to make major decisions, he was allowed to make the plans on how to follow up. As Julius left us to formulate a plan, I wondered exactly what did he do.

"You okay?" Troy asked when Dex left to go get some stuff for planning.

"Rough day that's all." My answer seemed to amuse him going by the twitch of his lips.

"You are the tightest lipped girl I know." He pinched my chin in his fingers tipping my lips up to his. I leaned into him, letting his kiss swept away all my cares. This is what I needed, the physical wiping out my racing thoughts. Zannies and A-minus helped but not as much as this did, it was the reason I always had a boyfriend no matter how badly they treated me, when I was touching someone, I could forget for a while.

"You weren't complaining about that earlier, in fact I think you enjoyed my tight lips." I teased him when I came up for air. Much to my surprise he actually blushed, turning away and light up a cig. "You're adorable."

"Isn't that my line?" He grumbled as his blush deepened as I smiled like a loon at him.

"Oh no, your line is how beautiful I am." I leaned into him, my hand tracing down his chest. "I think you should come over tonight, maybe skip the wine this time though."

"Jesus." He stopped the descent of my hand, his face taking on a stern look. "Earlier was a mistake. I promised to take it slow- what's so fucking funny?" He scowled at me when I started laughing. I bet he had had this little speech all prepared.

"I'll let you in on a little secret; this thing between us is slow compared to how most of my relationships go. It's easier to get sex out of the way and build things around that." It was my turn to blush. "Not that I'm screw on the first date kind of girl."

"I don't know, you've been trying to get in my pants since day one." The look on his face was far too self assured.

"Only because Gat is taken." I said trying to take him down a peg or two. The way he narrowed his eyes as he took a drag on his cig told me it had hit home. Any remark he was planning on making died as soon as Dex walked back in the room carrying his notebook and a map he spread over the table. I smirked at Troy as I got up, I loved getting the last word in.

"Okay, according to my contacts the police are holding the drugs at this station and we're getting them back."

"And how the fuck are we doing that? Walking up to them and asking pretty please?"

"We're taking out the station."

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Besides from the fact they'd lock it down before you'd get anywhere, that's more trouble than we fucking need. Killing fuck knows how many cops is best way to get the gang put on their top list."

"It's Julius' plan. He called it and we got to go with it."

"No we don't." Troy took a deep drag as he turned the map around, a look of concentration on his face. "Barrio station's evidence locker is against this wall, blow a hole into it and avoid most of the problems."

"It'd lower the body count."

"Exactly." The two of them talked about the finer details of the mission while I stood there thinking. Babette had definitely been on drugs, the same type of drugs we were stealing from the cops. Roe had also mentioned the VKs kept their girls on drugs to keep them in control.

"The Carnales don't deal with the VKs do they?" I interrupted the two of them.

"None of the gangs deal with each other." The tone of Troy's voice said I was stupid for asking.

"Where do they get their drugs then? They have to have a good source for the amount they need to control their ladies of the night, so where does it come from?" The two men stared at me, Troy missing my point while Dex seemed to understand where I was going with this.

"The bust was over the news, they'd know it was there."

"Would the two of you like to fill me the fuck in?" Troy snapped.

"My father always used to say that there are two main sources of drugs in a city: the criminals and the police. If the Carnales aren't selling to the VKs, that means they are buying from the cops." He didn't look happy at my statement.

"I doubt the cops are selling to them, we'd know about it."

"Please Troy don't be so naïve, main source of corruption and crime always comes from law enforcement and politicians." I patted his hand in a most condensing manner.

XXX

Turned out my guess had been right, Dex had used his resources to find out how exactly Tanya went about buying the drugs, it wasn't like she could show up with a suitcase of money. No, apparently she had a standing arrangement with the Police Chief and paid him off personally. The two of us came up with a plan that would end up screwing both the VKs and the police. Everyone knew the police were in bed with the gang, letting them do too much and we needed to fuck that up. What better way than having the police give the wrong gang the drugs? The whole time the two of us talked it over, Troy sat there with a bored expression on his face, giving me a hint that I wasn't going to be getting any for a while. I guess I could have toned down the smart-assness of my comments but it had been too tempting to show off.

"While you two geniuses are planning this shit that's going to blow up in our faces, I'm going to get some food." Troy said after half an hour of sitting there sulking.

"Can you get me a vanilla milkshake and number two meal? Please?" I asked as sweetly as possible.

"Yeah, get me a number five with large fries." Dex mimicked my tone causing Troy to glare at him as he practically stomped out of the room.

"So, why lie about the amount?" I asked once I was sure we were alone.

"You going to rat on me?"

"Who would believe me?" I snorted. "Just curious as to the why."

"There's no such thing as an old gangbanger. This isn't exactly what I want to do with my life, I want more than this shit. You feel me?" When I thought about it, Julius and Troy were probably the oldest people in the gang, most of the gang was around my age or in a five-year difference.

"Everyone's got to have a goal in life."

"So what do you want? Call me cynical but I highly doubt you'll keep your mouth shut for nothing."

"I need a car, you're the smart one, you probably have tons of research on crap like that. I'll pay for it, I just need something that an idiot like me can't break."

"Fair enough."

XXX

I will be the first to admit, I'm not very good with people but what I am good at is playing a part. Back in school, theater was one of my favorite things and today I was playing a very important part. Tanya Winters was not only a trashy whore in every sense of the word but she also was a lazy one. She apparently had rather spend more time on her back than personally handle business which meant she employed an assistant. Unfortunately most of the assistants found themselves being fired and being put in the most degrading line of work any time they showed any sense of competency. She didn't like competition.

Fortunately for us, that meant claiming to be another of her ill-fated assistants wouldn't raise too many eyebrows at the stations. Dressing the part as easy given the contents of my closet, I tended to favor what I called fire colors, lots of reds, yellows, blues and white. A yellow top laced with black stripes combined with a black mini skirt with slits on the side that revealed the tops of my lacy stockings when I walked. I styled my hair so that I played the orphan Annie look to the max and my makeup had been done so that it seemed more like a little girl who got her hands on her mommy's. All together the combination made me look even younger and vulnerable.

"Can I help you miss?" The desk sergeant looked me over as I stood there.

"I'm supposed to see a Captain Myers?" He stared me down for a few minutes before buzzing me in the back, giving me directions to the Captain.

"Captain Myers, I'm Janie I was told to speak to you about" I paused taking a nervous breath and lowered my voice, "the shipment Ms. Winters wanted."

"I don't understand why you're here, the shipment was arranged for Thursday." He stated as he smoked. I honestly thought smoking was illegal in public buildings.

"I don't understand, Ms. Winters told me I had to get the shipment back to her tonight." I put my best confused look on my face.

"Well, she'll get it Thursday." His eyes roamed over me. "How old are you kid?"

"Fifteen sir." I whispered staring down at the floor.

"Tanya wants to you to fuck this up. What did you do to piss her off?"

"I-I tripped over something and spilled her drink on her. She was so angry and Tony told her to leave me alone." I bit my lip. "You have to help, if I don't show up with the shipment, she's going to make me work in one of the brothels."

"You could just run away."

"Blood in, blood out." I shook my head. "They'd kill me better a whore than dead."

"Alright kid, tell you what, I'll give it to you early only because I can't stand that bitch." I thanked him profusely as he made a call arranging for several men to carrying things out to the truck that was parked outside manned by Julio dressed in VK colors. I high-fived Julio when I climbed in next to him after the truck was loaded. I couldn't wait to rub the success in Troy's face.

XXX

Myers sighed miserably thinking how much he could have bought with the money he would have normally gotten. Still it was going to be a riot when Tanya showed up and at least after Thursday he wouldn't have to spray his office anymore to get rid of her fetid stink. Still, even if O'Malley hadn't tipped him off, he would have bought that girl's act. At least now he could take some pleasure in pissing off the whore.


	20. Chapter 20

I'm not a patient person by nature; I tend to rush into things head on. Habit I guess, growing up in a dysfunctional family you did what you could when you could before anyone changed their minds. While we had gotten the drugs, we were waiting to start selling product until we finished with the Carnales which meant the Colombian was sticking around for a bit. Orejuela bothered me. The more I saw him, the more the feeling of knowing him from somewhere haunted me. Needless to say, I wanted him gone.

We were so close to taking down the Carnales, so very close but Dex wanted to take it carefully and keep damage to our gang to a minimum. Thanks to the Colombian we knew where Angelo was holed up at but Dex didn't want to do a "Johnny plan" whatever that meant. I wanted to listen in on the planning but Orejuela always seemed to be hanging around, maybe he was making sure we weren't as big fuck-ups that Angelo had been or maybe he was bored, either way I stayed away.

Of course staying away meant I didn't run into Troy. It was beyond disappointing not to be able to rub my victory in his face. It was petty and childish but I had been right. That's not to say that I didn't celebrate with anyone, Julio had taken me out for drinks. Now that he knew I was off limits, he was treating me like a little sister. He showed me around the city, teaching me the shortcuts, the best places to obtain supplies both of the legal and illegal variety and best of all, the stores that carried clothing I was accustomed to. Turned out he was sort of a savant when it came to breaking and entering and had no problem with helping me refurbish my wardrobe.

When I had run away from home, I only had time to grab a few outfits, three pairs of shoes and ma mère jewelry box. Since then I had been making due with cheap knock-offs that made my skin crawl. I'm sure that no one in the gang noticed the uneven stitching, or the stitching done with the wrong shade or any other thing that were like giant signs of knock offs to me, but it had bothered me more than I can ever express. Julio had indulged me, snickering when I cooed over a pair of purple patent leather boots. By time I finished my illicit shopping spree, I had a full closet again. I had been tempted to burn the horrid knock-offs but he convinced me that others wouldn't be so picky, so I had dropped them off at the Salvo. By the end of the week, I was prancing around in new outfits that actually proclaimed my allegiance to the Saints, had my stitches were removed with a laughing Johnny at my side while I passed out twice, and finally had gotten the black dye out of my hair. With the new clothes and my hair restored back to its former glory, I was closer to feeling like myself than I had for almost a year.

One of the bad things about being an early riser was that not many of the other gang members were. However it did mean that I could get some training time in with Johnny. I wondered when and if he ever got any sleep, he was the one that always seemed to be at the church full of energy. I'd ask but I was sure I'd get some kind of bad joke out of him. Before checking in with him, I wanted to see if Dex was around, hopefully he'd have a plan already and Orejuela would leave. I was getting really tired of ducking him. Walking into Dex's office taught me three things: Dex apparently wasn't an early riser, his remark about fucking on his workstation was from prior experience and that the person responsible for needing such a remark did have an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. I backed out of the room before the couple could notice me. Honestly, if I hadn't been thinking too much the moans would have warned me, sparing me the sight of the two of them. It was like the universe was trying to make me uncomfortable around Gat.

"There you are, you been ducking me again?" Troy greeted me, coffee in one hand and a Freckle Bitches' bag in the other. He looked like shit, his eyes had bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn't slept for a few days.

"You don't want to go in there right now." I grabbed his arm as he started to head to Dex's office. "Johnny's a little busy with Aisha."

"Oh for fuck's sake." He muttered and headed to Johnny's office instead. "I swear he does that just to piss Dex off, told Julius giving him a babysitter was a bad idea." He sighed as he dropped down in a chair and chugged his coffee.

"You okay?" I asked as I raided his bag, stealing some of his hash browns. He snatched the bag out of my hands, glaring at me as he dug in.

"Dex has me on stake-out over at Lopez's looking for weak points, think we might got something." He rubbed his eyes as he yawned. "I am beyond tired at this point."

"You can crash at my place if you need to." I wasn't sure where he lived but I was positive my place was closer.

"Thanks. I might take you up on that." He blinked a few times and looked me over. "Nice outfit." I blushed as his eyes wandered over me. I was wearing the purple knee high boots with white stockings and garters, black skirt and white and purple blouse. "Can't say I like the dye job, you trying to trick the Los Carnales now?" He scoffed at me.

"It's natural." I glared at him.

"Yeah right." I closed the door not needing anyone to walk in on us before standing in front of Troy and raising my skirt. I knew how I looked with white framing my dark skin, the white lace of my thong was sheer enough for my ginger patch to be clearly seen.

"You were saying?" I smiled at the look on his face as I let my skirt fall back in place. He finished his coffee before standing up, his hands on my hips as he backed me up against the desk. I hopped up on it and at his urging opened my legs for him.

"I ever tell you I got a thing for redheads?" He ran his hands up my thighs pushing my skirt up. His fingers traced along the edges of my thong. "Goddamn you even wear them the right way. Lift up." The right way to wear a garter belt was to put on underwear last, so that it was easier to get on and off. A fact Troy proved as he slid my thong off when I did as he asked. It was hard not to feel self-conscious as he stared down at juncture of my thighs, his hand felt hot on my thighs, his thumbs stoking just shy of my bush. "Been thinking of me, I see." He teased.

"Like what you see?" I managed after a few moments. He was staring at me like a starving man at a buffet.

"You have no idea."

"Then show me." His eyes met mine I bit my lip at the heat in his eyes. His kiss was almost frantic as he pushed me down on the desk, his hands wandering over my body, pushing up my blouse. "White's becoming my favorite color." He muttered when he saw the white bra I was wearing. He bit and licked at the swell of my breasts, I arched my hips, rubbing against him. I clutched at his hair as I heard the sound of him unbuckling his belt and his zipper being pulled down. I wrapped my legs around him, his hard length pressed against my thigh.

"Yo, you two ain't fucking on my desk!" An unfortunate girly yelp escaped my lips as Johnny interrupted us.

"Get the fuck out Gat!" Troy yelled, throwing at stapler at him. "Door was closed for a reason." Gat ducked it and closed the door again.

"Fuck on Dex's workstation like everyone else, not on my goddamn desk." He yelled through the door.

"Fuck off Gat!" Troy helped me sit up and I helped him fix his pants as he leaned against me. "Sorry." He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Lack of sleep is making my judgment bad."

"It's okay. I'm just sorry we were interrupted." I bitched as he slipped my thong back on.

"Well I'm not." I frowned at him as I fixed my blouse, slapping his hands away when he pulled it up too far. The blouse was supposed to show off my cleavage not cover it.

"You and your age problem." I did an overly exaggerated sigh. His lips kicked up and he shook his head.

"Protection Angel, it only takes one time. That's how my parents got hitched."

"Oh right." I smiled sheepishly at him. "You should pick some up then."

"Good idea." He kissed me again on the temple. "Mind if I take you up on that offer?"

"Sure, just don't leave my place a mess." I gave him my key. He ruffled my hair before leaving; I could hear him grumble something to Gat as he passed by. Gat was chuckling as he came into his office; the smirk on his face was enough to make me want to punch him.

"Thanks for cockblocking, asshole." I bitched, causing the smirk to widen.

"Just returning the favor." He dropped down into his chair, propping his feet up on the desk as he dug into the food Troy had left behind.

"You can get off with Aisha anytime you ass."

"You know, you want to arrange something with Eesh, I wouldn't mind as long as I can watch." I curled my lip in disgust and did the only reasonable thing; I kicked his chair from under him, letting him crash on his ass.

XXX

Troy's intel had tipped us off to the fact that Angelo's crew was slowly diminishing, much like rats on a sinking ship, they knew the end was near. With little left guarding the mansion it was a perfect time to strike against the last of the Carnales. Dex decided on a small crew to take them down, a show of power if you will. He was leading the raid with Julio, who was upset he wasn't allowed to use grenades, Carmen who had insisted on coming to see the gang finally end and me. Dex had balked at the idea of her tagging along; she was more of support staff than a front line. She had ripped into him, stating that she was going to be there if he had liked it or not. It had been amusing to see the little woman glaring up at him but looking at her in the backseat, shotgun across her lap and a steely glint to her eye, she kind of scared me.

We slammed through the gates, Dex kicking his car into high gear, the smell of rubber as the car shot forward. I ducked down in my seat as he ran over a group of people, this is why I didn't like roofless cars. The tires squealed as he skidded to a stop and we piled out. I narrowed my focus, ignoring my friends as I rushed forward, bat in hand at the closest Carnales. I ducked and weaved around the enemies, calling on my skills as a dancer to dodge reprisal. I had switched up to a metal bat for today, it was lighter, easier to swing and made a nice sound as I cracked it against LCs. The only downside of the bat was I could feel the vibration deep into my hands making them ache as I beat out the rhythm of a samba on them. I heard my name and managed to drop down in time to avoid a shotgun blast to the face. Carmen stood holding the smoking gun having killed the LC that had been sneaking up on me.

"You need to watch your back, young lady." She scolded me as she took out several men.

"Yes Miss Carmen." I shouted as I did the same. We found Dex and Julio on the second floor, trying to break down a door. Julio had blood running down his side, his hand bloody as he shouldered a door that wouldn't budge.

"Fucking Angelo locked himself in." Dex yelled. "Carmen, you and Julio guard this door, Ang you go and see if you can find another way, I'm going to check around back."

XXX

"Do not ruin the leather!" Dex yelled at me as I started to lose my lunch, I barely made it over the side of the car before I started puking.

"It's not even your car." I gasped once I was finished.

"Well, it's a nice car." I rested my head on the dash, trying to calm my heart, the last hour might have been way too much for me. Between having to cross a balcony, dodge shots from Angelo, jumping off said balcony, oh and having a high speed chase after Angelo that ended with me in a car hanging off the edge of a goddamn bridge, my heart was trying to claw its way out of my chest. It had taken half an hour for the bridge to finally close, half an hour of staying completely and utter still, terrified to even breathe normally. Dex had been more impatient than worried as he made calls, trying to get a bead on Angelo, his knee bouncing as he had talked. It had taken everything in me not to scream at him. "He's on his way to the airport. You going to be able to hack it or do I got to get better backup."

"Just fucking drive you son of a bitch." I cursed as I wiped my mouth. Dex seemed amused as he punched the car back into an illegal speed. We didn't go straight to the airport but stopped at a Freckle Bitches' on the way. "Really? You're stopping for lunch now?"

"Fuck no, who you think I am, Gat?" I followed him as he left the car in the parking lot. "You load it up like I asked?" Jazzy was leaning against a car on the other side, sucking on a lollie as we walked up.

"Sure did Dexy." She smiled at him all bright and sunny.

"Thanks." He took the keys from her without returning her smile or further word.

"You know, she's got the hots for you, right?" I had to ask as we pulled away leaving her to pout.

"I don't got time for a girl." The tone of his voice made it clear this conversation was off limits. We didn't run into any trouble as we hit the airport just in time to see Angelo board a small plane. "Backseat, use it." My eyes went wide as I saw a RPG launcher sitting there, it explained the switch of cars. I climbed into the back as he barreled alongside the plane; I took it into my hands, perching on the backseat as I took aim. The breath went out of me as I pulled the trigger; I was surprised at how little recoil there was but was more than impressed at having hit the plane and at the explosion that followed.

"Holy shit." I slid down in the seat as the remains of the plane scattered across the runway. I reached in my bag and pulled out a cigarillo and lit it, still staring at the mess.

"Fuck yeah. How's it feel to take down a gang? Got to be honest, I'm feeling pretty fucking great. Can't wait to rub this in Gat's face, he's still pissed at you for missing Victor's death."

"Oh just awesome."

 

XXX

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: With classes back in for me, updates are probably going to be much, much slower. So sorry for that.


	21. Chapter 21

Crashing at Ang's had been a great idea, he got some sleep and answers to questions. To be fair, he originally didn't come to snoop through her stuff, her bed was much more comfy than his but once he woke up it was too tempting to pass up. It wasn't his fault really; secrets bugged him, practically causing an itch that he couldn't scratch until he found them out. Also it was really her fault for not having a password on her laptop. It had been sitting right there on her nightstand, just daring him to open it up.

While it had contained a surprising amount of Disney and Bruce Campbell movies, he hadn't found much until he opened her web browser. It was there he hit the jackpot so to speak. For starters, Ang had a lot of porn bookmarked, more porn than he had looked at in his teenage years. He knew women watched porn but honestly he always thought it was soft stuff kind of like the stuff played on cable at three in the morning. Not so for his Angel, her porn was more along the line of hardcore fucking, interracial featuring white men with Indian women, some light bondage and a few exhibition videos; the exhibition videos were the newest ones having popped up the day after he last saw her. He could feel himself smiling as he thought of the pair of handcuffs he still had from work, even if the videos hadn't given him proof of her interest, he could tell from her reaction the other day that she liked being restrained.

After he finished reviewing her porn archive, for research, he checked the rest of her history and struck gold. There he found a little video channel that was nothing more than two teenagers talking about normal annoying teenage crap, staring one Bunny Hill, a vapid blonde with an unfortunate name and one Angelique Capulet. Her little reference to Shakespeare now made sense. The sheer amount of videos was insane. He tried slugging through a few of the videos but goddamn if the two of them didn't annoy the hell out of him; fortunately there were compilation videos for each year they had been making them. The compilation videos were fortunately silent and actually entertaining, it was interesting to see her evolve from a gangly pimply teen with braces to the woman he knew now. While he had fun watching the compilations, it was the last videos that caught his interest; Bunny was recording the videos alone, pleading with the audience to help her find her best friend. Watching the blonde was almost painful, the emotion a little too raw, each of the videos ending with her in tears. He was about to leave the site when a new one popped up, just uploaded a few seconds ago.

 _"Hi everyone, I hope everyone's having a great day." She smiled weakly. "As all you know, today is our birthdays, the great big eighteen. Yay." She did an unenthusiastic wave of hands. "Instead of getting ready to hit the strip club like we planned, I've been talking to the police. Some of you may know how Angie has such a hatred for the police and as of today, I think I'm developing it. The police don't seem to care about her missing anymore since as of today she's a legal adult so they are calling off the search." Bunny smiled brightly suddenly sitting up taller. "Therefore, I'm starting a country wide tour in an effort to find Angie myself. I'm going to find where you are Angie and when I do I'm going to slap you one you silly bitch." She waved. "Right after you kill me for calling you Angie."_ The screen faded to a list of cities, Stilwater was listed as one of them, depending on how long this Bunny was going to spend in each city, she would be here in a month or so. He was looking forward to getting more answers from this girl since plugging Ang's real name into the search engine didn't bring up much. Aside from the poorly named Bunny, Ang didn't have any other friends, apparently having your mother murdered, a drug addict sister and a drunk father made you a pariah in her money bracket.

If her secrets bugged him before, they irritated him now, like a cut on the top of his mouth that he couldn't leave be. He knew the police wouldn't have dropped their search if they suspected foul play in her father's suicide, so his only theory was blown. Why was she running? He sat back on the bed, the smell of cinnamon wafting up, reminding him today was her birthday. No wonder her smile had been so mischievous this morning. He smiled to himself as he erased all evidence of his snooping, while she wasn't going to do what she had planned for her birthday, he planned on making it memorable for her.

XXX

"I go and take a fucking nap and you take down the los Carnales." He bitched good naturedly as he slid into the booth with his fellow lieutenants. He had been on the way to the church when a mass text had been sent informing all of the news, an impromptu party already underway over at Tee'N'Ay. The club was already packed with Saints, the dancing crowd was starting to resemble a pulsating blob of grape jello with all the purple going around.

"The best part of taking them out is not having to hear you fuck up the name anymore." Dex snapped. "How the fuck can't you grip the goddamn basics of Spanish? I'm talking third grade shit."

"No one gives a shit, so calm your tits." Johnny countered as the waitress set down drinks, one of which he placed on the seat next to him. The club had a certain reputation of illicit behavior going on under the tables which was why the view was cut off by a shimmery cloth on the open side. Hell, he had a girl service him once under there. He figured it was probably Aisha under there since the club wasn't closed to the public and she was supposedly dead, she could party without being seen. He swore if Gat started getting his rocks off, he was leaving.

Ignoring the fact that someone was under the table, he spent the next half hour talking business. The Saints would be in the city's new drug dealers by the end of the week. They went over a list of people who would be pulled from active duty to serve as dealers, in production or money cleaners. It was a tricky balancing act, they needed people to patrolling and displaying at show of force while running their new activity. Fortunately news would spread of the LC defeat and bring in new blood. Defeating the LC would solidify the Saints in the city but now the VK's and Rollerz would take notice, not to mention the police. Shit, he'd have to talk to Mike later on about the changes. They couldn't go too easy on the Saints or they'd get too cocky or suspicious nor could they ramp up the pressure or the gang might go down in flames.

They came up with a general idea of who would be working where; of course the final decision would lay with Julius. Business having concluded, he relaxed scanning the crowd for the telltale sign of red hair. He would have thought that having been the one to actually finish off the LC that she would be soaking up the attention but he didn't see her at all.

"You seen Ang?" He asked after a few minutes of failing to find her. Gat smirked and pointed down. "I thought that was Eesh under the table."

"Fuck no, she's got this whole disguise going on." He wave over in a vague direction. "Nah, it's your girl hiding under the table like a troll." He grunted. "You punch me again and I'll kick your ass out of there." He growled at the girl under the table. Knowing who was under the table kept him from flinching when he felt a hand on his leg followed by a cheek rubbing against his thigh. He looked down at the leg laying her head in his lap, finding her under the table was the last thing he would have expected tonight.

"Bonsoir amant garçon" She smiled up at him, her smile a little lopsided.

"Why are you hiding under there?" He held down his hand to help her up.

"People kept touching me." She ignored his hand. "They wouldn't stop hugging me and shit, even when I hid behind Johnny. They tried to buy me lap dances." The horror in her voice had him smiling.

"Then why not leave?"

"That would be rude." Her face was completely serious. He couldn't fathom the leaps of logic that drove her to that conclusion. She rubbed her cheek against him again, her eyes shyly dropping from his as she ran her fingers over him. Her touch was light and hesitant, far too innocent for the scene. He knew he should stop her, no telling how drunk she was at the moment but he let her play, only stopping her when she toyed with his zipper. He coaxed her up to the seat beside him, slipping an arm around her waist as she snuggled against him.

"How much have you had to drink?" She shrugged.

"Three Piña Colada, four coke and rums and two Caipirinhas." Dex informed him as he drank his own. Troy sighed, no wondered she was acting so damn mellow. There went all his plans with her for tonight, no way was he screwing a drunk Ang. "Course that was before she got offered a lap dance. I'm pretty sure she downed a whole bottle of Morgan while under there. Not that I care since you two are picking up the bill."

"Whoa the fuck you say?" Gat choked on his drink.

"Shit, you remember the deal; first one done throws a party while the others pick up the bill. Course, I knew I'd win." Troy groaned, he really wasn't getting paid enough to deal with this shit.

XXX

Getting a drunk Ang to leave had been difficult aside from the stumbling, she had been worried of being in "breach of etiquette". After getting some assistance from Aisha who assured her that it was okay to leave, he had managed to drive them back to her place. She had smiled dreamily at him the whole time, muttering under her breath in French. As soon as he pulled up to her place, she unclipped her belt and launched herself at him. She pushed him back in his seat, her hands braced against his chest as she rocked her body against his, moaning when she found the right spot. Her kiss was sloppy and tasted of rum. She raised her lips away just enough so she could whisper against his. "Je veux que vous plus de rien maintenant. Je veux que vous et moi, de toute façon vous allez me le donner. Et je le veux maintenant." He didn't understand a word but from the tone he was pretty sure she wasn't asking where the library was. He pushed her away, forcing her to still her movements, letting his brain receive some of its missing blood.

"Troy, please no more teasing, just fuck me." She begged as she pressed small kisses along his jaw line. "No more no's, my age is no longer a barrier for you to hide behind." She taunted him, her breath hot in his ear. Goddamn it, he wanted nothing more than fuck her but with all the booze she drank he doubted she would remember come morning. Call him old fashioned but he firmly believed that firsts in a relationship should be memorable. He wouldn't forget the look on her face the first time he kissed her, thanks to Mike neither of them would forget the first time she gave him head, likewise thanks to Dex they wouldn't forget the first time he got her off. He was a bit of a romantic in that way and he'd kill the first motherfucker that suggested it. If it wasn't for that, he'd have no problem fucking her here and now.

"This is not happening here Ang." He stated firmly. Her eyes went wide, a hurt look on her face as she scrambled off him, slamming both car and front door as she fled. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. He was starting to wonder if the dramatics came from her French heritage or if it was just her special touch. He smoked two cigs before he decided to follow her. His pick-locking skills were a lot of better than his hot-wiring skill, which was fortunate since she had locked the door and was playing music that made his bones ache. As soon as he was in, he turned off the head-banger shit, breathing a sigh of relief as the noise stopped. He called out to her letting her know it was him as she showered. He sat on her bed lighting up another cig, fully expecting to hear her to fall at some point with all the alcohol she had drunk.

"Why the hell did you pick my lock? Couldn't you wait until morning to embarrass me more?" She looked miserable standing there with only a towel to cover her. He crocked his fingers as he rubbed out his dying cig, drawing her down on his knee.

"You do know why I won't sleep with you tonight, right?"

"Because you're an ass?" He had to smile at her churlish expression and swung her over on the bed laying her down.

"Go to sleep Angel, you are beyond drunk." He went to get up but she grabbed him by the wrist.

"Stay please?" The look she gave him was so vulnerable and fragile, proving to him she had passed the horny stage of drunk and was falling into the maudlin phase. He drew off his clothes before joining her in the bed. She curled into him, her head resting on his chest. "Thank you."

"Anything for the birthday girl."

"Except sex apparently." She groused.

XXX

Translations:

Bonsoir amant garcon = Good Evening lover boy

Je veux que vous plus de rien maintenant. Je veux que vous et moi, de toute façon vous allez me le donner. Et je le veux maintenant = I want you more than anything now. I want you and me, anyway you give it to me. And I want it now.


	22. Bad Day - 1

My head was killing me when I woke up to my lamp apparently on the blazing sun setting. I couldn't remember why I hadn't turned off the light. I groaned as I hide my head under the pillow, I actually couldn't remember how the hell I got home last night. I needed coffee now. I stumbled out of the bed, wondering why the hell I was naked as I clicked on my coffee machine. I didn't stress the holes in my memory, it had happened before, they would come back in time. I hoped that I hadn't done anything too embarrassing. I popped several Advil as I waited for my precious coffee to be done. I had a mini-heart attack when a hand touched my back. I spun around to find Troy, fresh out of a shower smelling of my shampoo and very naked. I swallowed as I looked him over, his clothes apparently hide his very nice body and two tattoos, one a Celtic cross and above that on the same arm, the same Saints logo that I had on my neck. He hadn't completely dried off yet, his hair was matted and dark on his chest I wanted to run my hands over that neat runaway and follow it down. His abs were not as ripped as Johnny's but they were so nice, I wanted to run my tongue over them and so was… My eyes skittered away from the sight of him, my face flushing with heat. Someone was happy to see me.

I frowned at him, trying to remember if we had sex last night. No, there had been no residual pain when I had gotten up, so no sex then. Gods be damned, had I passed out before I could proposition him?

"How's your head?" His voice was soft as if he knew how bad it hurt.

"Hurts." He pressed his body against mine, trapping me against the counter as he cradled the back of my head, his hands massaging gently. My eyes fluttered closed as some of the pain faded away.

"Serves you right." I pouted. "So why didn't you tell me it was your birthday yesterday morning?"

"We were interrupted." His hands left my head and trailed down my body to rest on my hips, lifting me up so that I sat on the counter.

"Liar." I felt exposed in this position, the heat of his body warmed me, so close to me he was that a single movement would have him inside me. "You weren't going to tell me, were you?"

"You were tired." I lied. I didn't know how to tell him yesterday, it would have been akin to initiating intimacy for the first time with him and I had never done that before. I didn't have the nerve to do so, not without drinking. I had overindulged in an effort to gain courage last night. The look he gave me told me he knew, still I didn't confess the truth. I looked away from him, biting my lip, I couldn't even explain it to him not without looking like a complete idiot. He turned my face back to him, claiming the lip I was biting as his own as he teased and bit my lips until I was shaking in his arms.

"Are you always like this or is it just me?" He asked when he pulled away from me, him and his goddamn questions.

"Shut up." He cupped my blushing cheek before walking away from me. I sat there on the counter stupidly watching as he got dressed. "I thought that we were going to…" My speech trailed off as I found myself at a loss for words.

"Not until you ask." He pointed a finger at me. "And not while you're drunk or in some other type of altered state, I want the real you asking." He trapped me again against the counter, an arm on either side of me. "You want this bad enough you initiate it." His smile was almost mean. "I figure the way you are, it'll take about a week before you get up the nerve."

"You ass." I said in horror of the idea.

"I'm doing you a favor Angel, motivation is a good way to help you deal with your problems. And don't think I don't realize the only reason you got enough courage to blow me was because of the dark." Gods, he was serious. I took a deep breath; the idea of what he wanted was enough to start an attack.

"Like you're such a prize." I snapped causing him to smirk.

"To you I am." His lips on mine made it hard to argue.

XXX

I stared stupidly at Dex, none of the words he just said made no sense. "Can you repeat that but in basic English that I would understand?" He sighed disgustedly.

"If you manage to break this car, you have no business driving." He waved over the salesman. "I'll take you over to a good garage, the guy I know won't screw you around for being a woman. You keep this serviced and not even Troy can destroy this baby." I raised a brow at the hatchback. The pepto-bismol colored car seemed tiny compared to what most of the guys drove. It was big enough to fit four people, more if they squeezed in through the hatch. I had already taken it for a test drive, as far as I could tell it drove fine and there were no dents from the cars I hit.

"You really think so?"

"Trust me, these cars practically outlive you. I've seen one of these get torched and still run." While I was still unsure, Dex wasn't and more importantly, he was buying. The car was a dual hush-hush and job well done present. And I really never had a problem with letting people buy me things. "You are going to get this painted, right?" He asked as we followed the salesman to do the paperwork.

"Of course, I'll even get it in purple." He handed over the money for the car while I filled out enough forms to make my wrist hurt. When I had asked about insurance, the men exchanged a look that translated to "Silly woman." Stilwater didn't have a law requiring car insurance only because it would bankrupt most people due to all the hit and runs and such. The salesman handed me the keys explaining that I'd receive the tags and title in a few weeks. As I stared down at the keys to my very first car I couldn't help but to hug Dex as I thanked him. He patted my back twice awkwardly before pulling away.

"You're welcome, just don't ever hug me again. Shit all the complaining you did last night." He bitched as he walked off leaving me with my own car. I smiled, while it was a pink nightmare, it was mine. It was time to explore the city on my own.

XXX

The whole left side of my face hurt, I knew I was going to have at least one black eye and I was sure my nose was broken as it whistled when I breathed which I was trying not to do often since I was sure I had a broken rib or two. I kept my head tilted back to keep myself from looking at the blood on my clothes, clothes that I would burn later, passing out here would be bad. I should have never gotten out of bed this morning. I'm sure if I had just stayed in bed I would have been able to seduce Troy and wouldn't be here.

I refused to give in to my miserable thinking, I would not cry, not right now. Plus it really hurt when I tried to sniff back my tears. I felt like the filth they had treated me as. I felt violated and wanted nothing more than to kill them all. Each one of them that laughed at me as they search me, their hateful comments still echoing in my ears as they prodded at me. I stood when my name was called a second time, I was so upset that I forgot the name they had down. I was allowed a phone call; better make it a good one they explained. When I asked for my cell phone explaining that I know any numbers by heart, I was scoffed at. I kept my mouth shut as they ridiculed me and implied that my place in the Saints didn't require me to use my brain. One of them punched a number in before shoving me in the booth. It rang forever before it was picked up.

"So which dumbass got themselves busted?" Relief poured over me at Johnny's voice. "Ah come on, I won't tease too hard, seriously which one of you is it?"

"It's Angelique." I managed to choke out.

"Well shit. What the hell happened?" His voice was neutral, he didn't sound angry or disappointed yet.

"I ran a red light." Short sentences were my friends right now. Too many words and I might start crying.

"And you actually stopped for the cops? You don't stop for them, what are you stupid?" I wanted to scream at him. No one had told me any such thing, it had to be one of the common sense bits I didn't know. There really needed to be a handbook on this shit. I hadn't thought it would be any different from getting stopped when Bunny had been: a quick showing of ID, a stern talking to, maybe a ticket end of story. No, instead when the cochon saw my tattoo he made me get out of the car and blindsided me with his nightstick and then his boots when I fell to the ground.

"I've never been pulled over, I didn't know." I felt stupid for not knowing and felt stinging pain as tears leaked out and into the wounds on my face.

"Listen to me, don't you fucking cry." He growled at me, not helping one bit.

"I'm trying." I sniffed, wincing at the pain it caused. "I'm really trying. I didn't know."

"I know you're scared, just breath, okay?" He took his own advice, the rush of breath annoying my hearing. "Everyone gets busted eventually okay? I've even been busted once when I was a kid. Nowadays I just run the berries over." He chuckled. "What they claiming they got you for?"

"Reckless driving, illegal possession of drugs, resisting arrest and suspicion of prostitution." The last one I rushed out, my face heating with embarrassment.

"Repeat that last one." I did so, gritting it out through clenched teeth. I glared at the ceiling when he started laughing. "Okay, the others I get but how the fuck they come up with the last one?"

"I bought condoms."

"Uh-huh, how many we talking?"

"I didn't know what to buy so I just bought one of everything." I sheepishly admitted to more of his laughter.

"Personally, I'd recommend staying away from Trojans, what with what happened to the actual Troy."

"Can we not mention this to him?"

"The arrest or the condoms?"

"Both." Johnny was quiet for a while setting my nerves back to fraying.

"Shit Ang, he's usually the one to handle this shit. He's got a whole process.

"Please Johnny, I can't."  _let him see me like this._  I couldn't finish it aloud.

"Shit, yeah I get it." He sighed. "I'll get you out okay? We'll keep this between us, alright?"

"I owe you one."

"You can go with Eesh to this flick she's been wanting to see." I groaned at the time of watching a chick flick. With my luck it would probably be something that would come on lifetime.

XXX

"Shit that berry did a number on you." Johnny said as a way of greeting when I was released into his custody. I was beyond happy to see him, waiting for him to show while locked in that cell had almost driven me insane. The walls constantly felt like they were closing in on me and the sounds of the others in their cages, it was too much. I collected my things from the cochen glaring at him, noticing that my money was missing along with my car keys. The cochen explained most of my things were confiscated for my trial which was set for later this month. When I had just stared at him in shock, Johnny had loped an arm around my shoulders and directed me out of the station.

"I think my ribs are broken." He moved my arm out of the way, feeling my ribs, making my eyes tear up at the pain.

"Nah, just bruised, you'll be fine." He ruffled my hair as he walked me over to his Venom. When I mentioned my car he promised me that I'd get it back later.

"So why do they know your number?"

"I'm the fun uncle in our little family, no one wants to tell Mom and Pop they got locked up so they call the fun uncle to break the news." He explained as he pulled out of the lot without checking for traffic, the squeal of horns let the cops know we were leaving.

"Troy's the mom in this scenario, isn't he?"

"Pretty much. Fifty million questions, clucking like a hen and ice cream for the crybabies." He glanced over at me. "You need some?"

"No." I tried for toughness but found my lips were quivering and tears started to leak out again.

"You're lucky I know a froyo place, just don't get any snot on the interior."

XXX

I have a bit of a sweet tooth, it always got me in trouble put a chocolate bar in front of me and I was hard pressed to resist it. Growing up I had obsessively counted calories, keeping my weight at a very specific number due to my dancing. I had already had problems with my height disqualifying me and I didn't need my weight to also do so. Sitting next to Johnny on the hood of his car however I was out of fucks to give.

"Any actual froyo in that?" He asked as he stole a cherry.

"At the bottom." It had been one of those choose your own toppings place. On top of the vanilla froyo, I had piled chocolate chips, butterfinger pieces maraschino cherries (of which I had just picked up the whole container and dumped it in) finished off with whipped cream and fudge sauce.

"Feeling better?"

"I've never had people outright hate me like that." I stuffed a spoonful in my mouth. The food was comforting even if the amount of calories was running through my head. "They treated me like I was the scum of the Earth." I felt tears well up again. I was used to people hating me for some reason but nothing had ever prepared me for something so blatant.

"You didn't cry in front of them, did you?" I shook my head. "Good girl. Those fuckers get off on trying to hurt us. They picked me up once." He shrugged. "Drinking some forties with some friends on a corner. Eesh was with me, so they pulled her in too." He looked me dead in the eyes, the anger there was kind of terrifying. "They made my woman cry, so they died." He stole another cherry. "I'm actually surprised they didn't try to lock me up today. Guess they heeded the warning." He ran a hand over his spiky hair.

"So what happens when you make her cry?"

"Eh, never happens. I'm that damn good." His total confidence was amusing and had me smiling the first real one in hours.

"So she's just lucky to have you?" His smile dropped and he gave me a very serious look.

"Nah, I'm lucky to have her."

"Aww, that's sweet."

"Make sure you let her know that next time I get in a fight with her? I could use an edge or two." He ruffled my hair. "I never win a fight with her."


	23. Chapter 23

Johnny Gat liked to think of himself as a honey badger but I was pretty sure he was more of a pitbull: fierce and deadly to those it considered a threat but to its family it was a loveable ball of fluff. He was one of those cropped eared pitbulls that still had its tail, just from the front, you would see a fierce dog, bared teeth as it lunged for your throat but if you knew the dog, you'd see it wag that spindly tail so hard its whole body would wag because that dog was really happy. Bunny always had pitbulls growing up, always a rescue, always the meanest looking dogs that really loved their family. Johnny was just like that, the Saints were his family, his offer to kill the cop, excuse me, berry who did this to me was him baring his teeth, while taking me for froyo was him wagging his tail. Though really, it probably said more about me that I thought it was sweet he offered to kill the berry than it did about him.

"That's a lot of teal." After stealing more than half of my cherries, he took me home again promising to get my car back.

"It's my favorite color." I was actually impressed that he could tell the difference.

"No shit, never would have guessed." I checked the coffee pot, surprised to find the pot still hot. Had it really only been so few hours since everything went to hell? I poured two cups handing one to Johnny. He took a taste of it before spitting it right back in the cup. "Fuck Ang, you could drink maple syrup and it'd be less sweet than this shit."

"Trust you to be honest." My lips kicked up as he glared at me as he poured it down the drain. "I'm waiting for Troy to get up the nerve to tell me the same."

"I ain't trying to fuck you, so I don't got to be nice." I was lucky I had already swallowed as I stared to crack up laughing. He got the strangest look on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to. "Troy said you do a lot of method acting." I stared dumbly at him for a moment. It was such an odd thing to say, I couldn't figure out why he was bringing it up. I hadn't really gotten in to the role when I had pretended to be Tanya's assistant when I got the shipment for us. Then again, one of the things he had been riding me about today was saving face in front of those who would hurt me. I was always good when it came to acting, practicing my method acting skills would come in handy for future situations, I could just act like him.

"Yeah, I plan to do a lot more of it in the future." I finished off my coffee, relishing the sweetness no matter what anyone thought of it. "I'll see you back at the church."

"The fuck you have me bring you home if you're just going back to the church?"

"I need a shower and to change." I snapped. I felt dirty from the cops touching me and needed it to go away.

"Fucking hurry up then." I just stared at him.

"Johnny, I cannot shower with you in my place."

"For fuck's sake Ang, I have zero interests in fucking you."

"I don't know whether to be insulted or relieved." I walked past him with my nose in the air as I dug clothes out of my closet.

"You need more purple in there."

"No, I need the other gangs to go away so I can wear my clothes." I took out one of the dresses I had lifted the other day, it was a short corset purple and black dress, it had a dipping hem the back coming down to my knees while the front barely touched mid-thigh. Combined with the high boots and the garters I had picked out for today, there was no way Troy would be able to resist. I wouldn't be the one asking, he'd be the one begging. Right now, I was feeling far too fragile for rejection and since the cops took my drugs, I needed something to help me and sex was always the best help out there.

It was probably the most awkward shower I had ever taken with Johnny being just in the next room but I managed to get through it with no problems. Afterwards, I managed to use make up to cover up some of the damage to my face, though I couldn't do much to fix my nose. It had been bad enough when Johnny had set my nose back in place. The ease in which he acted as medic told me that he was an old hand at this shit. Gods, being in this gang was messing up my body pretty fast.

"Fuck, you smell like a goddamn cinnabon." He said as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom. Almost all of my products were cinnamon based, maybe I did overdo it but the smell comforted me as it one that ma mere had used. He looked me over and nodded. "That would look better on Eesh, let me know where to get one for her."

"I hate you."

XXX

Getting revenge on Johnny by embarrassing him with questions didn't work, it in fact backfired. I had thought that he would be uncomfortable answering questions about protection but of course not. If anything he was all too happy to brag on how much he knew about the subject. I didn't need to know that Aisha and him didn't use condoms as she had a IUD. I also didn't need to know about his personal experiences with condoms and the right way to use them with lube. I definitely didn't need to know how he personally felt about different types of condoms. I couldn't escape the car fast enough when he pulled up to the church. I just couldn't win against Johnny. Trying to put the last quarter of an hour out of my mind forever, I went to seek out Troy and instead ran into Orejuela. Dex had informed me the Colombian would be leaving soon and of course with the way my day was going I would run into him.

"Excuse me." I sidestepped him and tried to hurry past.

"I wanted to express my sincerest apologies over your father's passing señorita Capulet." His words hit me like a freighter, his voice soft enough that it wouldn't carry through the church and my skin went clammy at my name.

"I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong girl." I tried to keep my face blank ignore the sudden increase of my heart.

"The black hair threw me for a while, then when you went natural I finally placed you, after all not many red-haired Indian girls in my life. Course with red you look just like Benny, the last time I saw you it was at Divya's funeral. Such a waste." He tsked. I turned and faced him, my fingers itching, wanting to grab my gun but I knew it would go badly. Mama's funeral was a haze to me; I had been so grief stricken that I had been given enough tranquilizers to knock out a horse. Her funeral had had dozens of people there; people had loved her so much. The pope himself could have been there and I wouldn't have known.

"I don't know what you are babbling about." I didn't want to know why a drug dealer knew my family. I wanted out of this conversation and keep living in blissful ignorance. I knew whatever association my father had with him couldn't be good at all and I didn't want to know.

"Ah, that's right, you were just a child when your father retired from the business. Benny was always one of our best dealers."

"My father, Benedict", I stressed his name, "had nothing to do with drugs, he hated them." He just started laughing at the statement.

"Benny Cap was one of the biggest and best in the business, man was a legend in his time. You don't really believe your family's money came from legit sources, did you?" The look on my face must have amused him. The same drugs the gang was going to be dealing were the same my father had dealt. My father who kicked out my sister for drug use had once brought the same drugs to where ever the fuck. Had the drugs Babette been using the same ones he ran? Had my mother known about his line of work? Had she helped him with it? The world was crashing in on me, my emotions ping bonged back and forth between rage and agony. He was obvious to the chaos in my mind as he had kept talking. "The Russians have been talking to your father's old contacts. Personally, I have no interest in the money they are offering, señorita but others of your father's association will be tempted."

"I have to go." Panic clawed at me at the mention of the Russians.  _It's nothing personal, you understand._  I never knew any of their names, only faces and voices. I could hear the leader's voice, his pale blue eye cold as he told me what was going to happen since I couldn't pay the debt, his henchman holding the knife to my face with his hand wrapped around my throat as he held me against the wall. No, no , no this was all too much. Too goddamn much in too short of a time.

 _Meet me in the armory._  I texted Troy as I hid there, it had been the only place that didn't have people milling about and some privacy. I practiced my breathing, trying to still some calm into me. I closed my eyes, my nails scratching the wall behind me as I concentrated on the material world and not the raging emotion in my head.

There was more than one way of handling a panic attack and right now I wanted to take the unconventional route.

"What the hell happened to you?" Troy closed and locked the door to the armory before crossing the room to cup my cheek and get a better look at my face. I leaned into his touch, rubbing my cheek against his hand, looking into his worried eyes.

"Just sparing with Johnny, nothing major." This had been the story we agreed on, it was the best way to explain the state of my face and also very likely.

"He's got to learn how to pull his fucking punches." He tipped my head up, his eyes narrowing as he took in my bruises.

"He will when I do. I was a little stressed from this morning." I ran my hands over his chest, fisting his shirt I pulled him close, my lips taking whatever words he was about to say away. He braced himself on the wall behind me as I ran my hands over his chest unbuttoning his shirt. His skin was warm under my hands, the feel of his flesh pushing aside all but this. This was real, right here, right now was all that mattered. He let me run my hands over him only stopping me when I went for his buckle. I felt him smile against my lips before pulling slightly back to meet my eyes.

"You forgetting something?" I quirked an eyebrow at him leaning back against the wall as I ran my hands down my body to grip the hem of my dress and slowly drew it up to my waist revealing the fact I hadn't bothered with underthings today.

"Oh you do not fight fair at all Angel."


	24. Chapter 24

_Wolves chased me through the streets of home, my muscles screaming at me to quit now, years of dancing told me I would not be able to keep this up for much longer. Rain warm and coppery smelling started to pour down, plastering my clothes and hair to me, running in my eyes and blinding me. Just like a bad horror movie victim, I tripped on something and went down hard enough to leave my head ringing and my eyes blurry. I pushed myself to my feet and turned with gun in hand determined to go out fighting. It wasn't wolves I was facing but the cold dead eyes of the Russian._

_"You cower in blood instead of accepting your inheritance!" His words made me notice it wasn't rain but blood pouring down._

I woke with screams lodged in my throat, my hands wiping away the phantom blood. I scrambled out of the bed rushing for the bathroom barely making it before I started vomiting. Stomach purged, I rested my head on the rim, tears running down my face, my lungs burning from pent screams. This was the third nightmare of the night; I guess I wasn't meant to sleep anymore tonight.

Sleeping without assistance was never a good idea, why I had tried doing it was beyond me. I should have drunk myself to sleep or tried harder to get a hold of Dex to get more. Natural sleep had been beyond me most of my life, nightmares had almost always haunted me the first ones had been from my fear of failure, of disappointing my family, later they had turned into shades of Mama's death and haunting of finding Babette OD'd from her drugs. Medication or booze was the only way I would sleep through the night. Nightmares were the main reason I never slept with my boyfriends, I didn't need that embarrassment between us. Then again, Troy had stayed the night and he hadn't said anything but then I had gotten really wasted.

The thought of Troy made me want to rub my ass even if the pain had gone away. After teasing Troy with my naked flesh he still had refused to do anything without me actually saying what I wanted. In my frustration, I had slapped him and well, he had spanked me. I didn't know if I should be humiliated or angry that it kind of turned me on. Gods, he was frustrating the hell out of me, part of me wondered if this wasn't going to turn out to be some sick joke when I finally the nerve up that he would laugh and reject me. It wouldn't be the first time though, my ex Kyle had done something similar to me.

I cleaned myself off and put on some workout clothes, tight black spandex pants, my small breasts held tight with a binder I had used in ballet covered with a reflective tank top and finally black sneakers. It was still dark outside when I stepped out, my mp3 player blasting BFMV in my ears as I took off.

Running always helped me think, the worse my thoughts the faster I ran. Besides from the nightmares, I had a lot to think about. How the hell could my father sell drugs? Growing up, I had never seen him work a day; working was so low class according to his mother. No Capulet had ever needed to do something so baseborn such as working; they lived off the fortune acquired by some ancestor I cared not about. How many signs were there I that I missed that there was something wrong in my family? Gods, my family had been so fucked up that I tried not ignore anything that was different from the other families. Father had hated the police, his remarks had been colorful and insightful now that I thought about it. He knew how they worked, who was corrupt probably because he had worked with them.

Fuck if my father had been involved, it meant that so was ma mere. Damn it, it was bad enough she had been a whore but now she had also been a drug dealing whore. Babette would have the answers I needed but where was she? I knew she was working for the Vice Kings which meant I was going to focus like hell on them to find her. If I had to toss King out of his tower to find my sister I would. I stopped my race against my thoughts, taking a deep breath. I looked around and realized I didn't have a clue where I was. Goddamn it.

XXX

"Dex, my favorite person. How are you doing today?" I put on my sweetest face as I entered his office.

"What do you want?" He was standing at his workstation, a bottle of bleach next to him as he wiped it down. Guess someone had gotten busy on it again.

"What makes you think I want anything?" I tried for innocent but he just glared at me. "Fine I need more medication."

"I gave you enough to last for two months, what did Troy flush it on you?" Part of me just wanted to let him think that but what if he confronted Troy on it? I bit my lip trying to think of what to tell him. I couldn't tell him the drugs were taken by the police, he'd definitely let it slip to Troy.

"Lost my purse, the nice one with purple lining." He stared at me for a moment.

"Don't ever play poker Ang, you're horrible at lying." He went over to his stash and got me out some pills. "Your accent thickens when you do and there's that lip thing you do."

"Oh. I never realized. Thanks for letting me know, I'll work on it." I took the pills from him, giving him the cash before tucking them away.

"Got your car out, by the way." I looked at him nervously. Of course he would know about it.

"Does Troy know yet?"

"Nah, don't worry he won't find out from me or Johnny. I only got your car because my cousin runs the lot."

"Thanks." I wandered off leaving him to his own devices. I found Johnny in the armory, a tableful of weapons spread out as he paced back and forth, picking up and putting them down, it was weird how lovingly he caressed some of them.

"I ain't got time for froyo today." He smirked when he saw me.

"You're never going to let that go are you?" I huffed as I picked up a knife.

"Nope. You know how to use one of those?"

"You stick them with the pointy end?"

"It's a butterfly knife." He held out his hand for it. He flipped it open and closed with some very complicated fingering.

"How long it take to learn that?"

"Shit, I was doing this in the womb." He tossed it back down with the others before picking up a shotgun. "Yeah, I'm feeling this today." He stroked the barrel a little too lovingly for comfort. He tucked a gun in his waistband followed by a switchblade. "You going to get ready, or what?"

"For what?"

"Got a hot tip that Tanya is setting up shop, you in?"

"Hell yes." As always I had my gun and plenty of ammo on me and unlike him, I didn't feel the need to differ my style and took the bat I had been using lately. "Think we can interrogate her before she dies?"

"Why you think I'm inviting you? Figured she'd know where your sis is." He ruffled my hair and I hit him with the bat in retaliation causing him to laugh. Out of everything I had experienced so far, Johnny's driving was on the top of my list of scariest activities. I clutched the "oh god" bar and my seat belt as he drove over sidewalks and other non-road paths, at least he wasn't psycho enough to run people over.

"An old police station?" I asked as we pulled over a block away, he didn't want to park too close and take the chance any VKs would wreak his car. He had let me know it was just the two of us heading out, he figured I wouldn't want any of the crew knowing anymore about my sister. I wasn't exactly ashamed of Babette but she had a way of playing people who didn't know her and she would cause problems if I tried to make her do something she didn't want to.

"Probably wants to go for a sense of irony, whorehouse in a police station. Personally, I find it kind of tacky." He shrugged. "Might get lucky and find a cell in tact we can toss her in. I don't need to go home with her stank on me." I couldn't help snickering at the sneer on his face. The building was crawling with VKs but it mattered little as we plowed through the resistance. The two of us made quite a team moving in sync as I hit them with my bat and he blew them away. Gods, it was beautiful, he was a perfect partner while we fought, I could only wish for a dance partner as well as him, I would have one all of my competitions. While we cleared a path, we caught sight of Tanya running away and up the stairs. "What is this a horror movie? Stupid bitch ran upstairs!"

"Hey the white chicks always run upstairs, that's where the monsters catch them."

"I just feel some type of way that a lieutenant is that damn stupid. Maybe King has different standards."

"Nah, we have the same, after all you're a blond with a nice ass."

"Yeah well, I'm all natural. Plus I wouldn't run like a fucking pussy."

"Shit Johnny the monsters would run from you." The last of the VKs were dead around us giving us a clear path to the whore. She was standing in front of the window, looking like she had not a care in the world. She gave us a sneer and my world exploded in stars as I fell to the floor. My vision was a blur of colors and sounded like a Peanuts teacher. I felt a hand on my back as my gun was taken out of my holster. I tried to grab for it but I couldn't figure out where my hands where. I managed to turn to find a big angry looking man with a shotgun trained on Johnny standing over me. I watched as the world wobbled as he put my gun in his pants. "Great I'm going to have to bleach that now." I received a kick to my side for that.

"No wonder Tanya fucks around on you, treating the ladies like that."

"Watch your fucking mouth."

"Hey, no reason to be hostile." Johnny let his gun drop to the floor.

"He packing anything else?"

"Just some rubbers, I was hoping I could get some of Williams' sloppy seconds." I smothered my disgust as he was hit in the back going down next to me. He made eye contact with me and then looked over at the window past Tanya. "Guess I hit a nerve."  _There's a dumpster outside that window, should break your fall._  While Green ranted, Johnny was busy mouthing instructions to me. I shook my head, which really was a bad idea as it set off the tilt-a-whirl, I wasn't going to leave him here.  _They won't kill me, they a punch of pussies._  "Well that explains how your bitch lost Prawn Court."

"Are you going to let him talk about me like that?"

"Don't worry baby, I got this." Johnny got up and brushed himself off while flipping her off.

"Yeah Tanya shut the fuck up."

"I thought I told you to be quiet."

"I got shitty hearing." Blood sprayed over Green's pants as he fired into Johnny's knee. He didn't let the pain stop him as he pulled out his switchblade and stabbed Green in the foot. "Get the fuck out of here!" I didn't want to go, my heart in my throat as I pushed to my feet, slamming Tanya into the wall as I jumped out the closed window. The smell of rancid Chinese food assaulted my nose, increasing the need to vomit as my fall as indeed broken. I scrambled out, barely managing not to get hit as the whore shot at me. I jumped in Johnny's Viper and tried to keep the car on the road that insisted on not staying in one place. Goddamn it, how the hell was I going to explain this to Aisha.


	25. Chapter 25

"If you apologize one more time, I swear that I will kick you the hell out of this gang." Julius stood over me as Carmen fussed over me. I had to bite my tongue to keep from automatically apologizing once again. I had fully expected to be screamed at, maybe even hit when I had informed Julius of what had happened. He had taken in my disheveled appearance and not to mention smell and lead me to Carmen. She had checked me over and was currently shining a light in my eyes.

"She has a concussion but otherwise she's fine."

"You still dating Troy?" His question seemed a little random but I nodded anyhow. "I'll have one of the crew run you over to his place for the day, he'll keep an eye on you."

"But what about Johnny?"

"Don't worry about it. They ain't going to kill Gat, they would have wasted you both if that was the case. No, they going to turn him over to the police, it would hit us harder to have him locked up. Show everyone that the Vice Kings have power we don't." He clapped me on the shoulder, his nose wrinkling as the smell of rancid food floated up.

"I'll just go home. I don't need a babysitter."

"Yes you do, you'll need to be watched for the next few hours." Carmen interjected as she stared me down.

"Wouldn't Troy be more useful finding Johnny than taking care of me?"

"Playa, stop questioning me and do as you're told."

XXX

"Do as I'm told." I mocked Julius words as I banged on Troy's door with a vengeance. "What am I a fucking child?" Julio snickered besides me. I almost ended up punching Troy when he opened the door.

"What the fuck time is it?" He had obviously still been in bed, his hair was rumpled and he was only wearing boxers as he stood there with rubbing his eyes.

"Too gods be damned early." I took in his place as I pushed past him. His place was in, if possible, a worse neighborhood than mine and was more rundown. His place was a tiny one story, there was burnt remains of what use to be a fence and weeds that were fighting for control over the patches of dirt out front. "Where's your bathroom?"

"Down the hall and to the right. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ask Julio." I down right snarled as I found it. I almost backtracked right out of the bathroom, it looked like he hadn't bothered cleaning it for over a month. The shower was full of soap scum, the sink had remains from grooming and toothpaste everywhere and I wasn't going to look at the toilet for every long. I stripped off my clothes, trying to ignore all the cleaning that needed to be done as I waited for the water to turn hot. His tiny shower was packed full of almost empty shampoo and liquid soap bottles, it was like he always forgot to finish before opening a new one. It wasn't like they were expensive toiletries either, these were all bottom shelf at a dollar store items. I would have to bathe in a tub of lotion afterwards to restore my skin's natural balance after using any of his skin destroying products. I let the hot water wash over me, wincing when it hit my head. My head was still pounding like crazy but at least my vision had cleared up as long as I didn't turn my head too fast. The curtain was pulled back suddenly making me squeal, flashbacks to Psycho playing in my head but fortunately it was only Troy.

"Move over." He pushed me further under the spray as he joined me in the shower. He ran his hands over my body, checking the bruises and cuts from my escape, they didn't bother me that much, just were mostly annoying. His touch was no-nonsense as he soaped up a washcloth and took it to my skin. I slapped his hands away taking the cloth away from him, proceeding to wash my own damn self. I had a concussion not an enfeebled brain."How's your head? Any dizziness or nausea?"

"Not as much as earlier. Did Julio fill you in?"

"Yeah, you okay?" I shook my head. I felt so damn disappointed and useless.

"I hate being treated like a child. I'm just a little dizzy, I don't need a babysitter." At his smirk, I whacked him with the washcloth.

"You can blame Dex for that. You're not supposed to make any major decisions while under the influence of a concussion, he didn't listen and somehow the gang colors ended up purple instead of green."

"Good thing he did, you'd be the resident leprechaun." Images of the whole gang dressed in green bounced through my head, causing me to snicker.

"You'd look lovely in green."

"I look good in very color."

"Or nothing." He leaned into me, dropping a kiss on my lips before raising his head to the water. I gingerly washed my own hair as he scrubbed at his with enough force I was surprised he didn't accidently rip it out. My hair was nice to me today as it decided not to turn into a mass of tangles and force me to cry from the pain radiating from my head. "Come one, let's get you in bed." He cut the water and handed me what I hoped was a clean towel. The cleanest part in his place was actually his bedroom, easy since all he had in it was the bed and a broken alarm clock on a nightstand. "Just get some sleep, I was up late."

"Aren't I suppose to be woken up every hour?" I asked when he climbed in the bed next to me.

"That causes more harm than good."He pulled me into his arms, the beat of his heart lured me into comfort and sleep.

" _Just another filthy whore, just like your mother." My father grabbed me by my hair as he dragged me out of the bed that had been occupied by myself and Troy who didn't seem to be bothered by the noise as I thumped on the floor. "Just like your good for nothing sister." He threw me against the door to my room, which gave way under my weight. "I raised you better than to mix with a dirty Mick." He hated the Irish, he hated his and mine red hair the mark of our ancestry plain to the world against his wishes._

" _And you're just a drunkard. A good for nothing drunkard who wallows in the past like the coward he is!" I screamed at him. There was a gun in his hand and he glared at me as he leveled it at me._

" _Yes and you can pay for it, whore." He put the gun in his mouth and I watched as the back of his head exploded, his ginger hair becoming a true red as bone and blood coated it; blood sprayed over my walls and filled my room. Waves of blood lapped at me as it continued to gush out, his body floating on top of the crimson flood. Blood poured into my mouth, sickly sweet copper coating everything as I drowned._

There was someone clinging to me when the dream broke and I panicked, expecting my father to come out of the darkness and repeat what just happened again. I pushed him away from me, hearing a thud as I scrambled out of the bed in an effort to make it to the bathroom before I vomited again. The bathroom wasn't where it should have been and had to make do with the kitchen sink instead. After a while, I felt a hand on the back of my neck rubbing out that spot of tension I always seemed to have there.

"What does je ne suis pas unepute mean?" He asked after my stomach had finally settled, his pronunciation was enough to make my stomach turn.

"Bad dreams that's all."

"You're going to make me have to carry around a French to English dictionary, aren't you?" He chuckled.

"Oui. I don't think I can sleep anymore today." I relaxed against him, letting him to his living room. "You are to never speak ill of my place again." I grumbled at the sight of it. Take-away containers were piled in one corner while in another was a pile of laundry; fortunately both piles were out of reach of the couch he sat me down on before walking away, giving me a chance to look place was pretty much bare of anything personal, there were no photos on the walls or really anything that looked like a personal touch. He didn't have a movie collection from what I could see. He didn't have a movie collection from what I could see. From what I understood he had been living here for years but it still looked like he really wasn't living here, like it was all temporary for him.

"I just sleep here, it's not really home." He had put on some sweatpants and handed me one of his jerseys. I pulled it on, the material plucking at my dry itchy skin.

"Where's home then?" He just shrugged as he sat down next to me. He pressed his palm to my forehead and then to my cheek.

"You're not running a fever. You still feeling nauseous?" I shook my head before pressing my head against his chest. He clicked on the TV tuning it to some sports game, a tactic that was sure to put me to bore me to death. I snuggled against him, running a hand over his stomach enjoying the feel of his muscles tensing under my fingers.

"Oh look they scored a goal."

"Wrong game."

"How many quarters does this have again?"

"Still the wrong game." He snickered.

"Gods this is boring as hell. Why do you even watch, even I know they're going to lose. They hadn't haven't want the series. Ever."

"They've won twice Angel." He stroked his hand through my hair pulling my face up so he could stare at my eyes for a moment. I knew he was checking to see how my pupils were doing.

"I'm bored." I said when he went back to watching his game.

"If you have any other ideas, I'm willing to listen." I sat up and straddled his lap, pressing my body against his as I pressed kisses along his neck. "Have something in mind, do you?"

"I have several things in mind actually." His hands wandered up my legs to cup my ass, fingers dipping between my cheeks until he was teasing the barest edge of me. "Thing I like about you is how wet you get. Give it a few minutes and you'll be soaking my pants right through." His breath was hot in my ear, his teeth nipped at my lobe. "You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to push you down here and spread you. I'd bet you taste god and I'd lick you 'til I had my fill." My mind provided graphic details as he captured my lips, biting my lower lip until I had to pull away to catch my breath. "I'd make you work for it too sweetheart, I'd make you beg to come." He squeezed my ass. "Then I'd bend you over the back of this couch and I'd fuck you. I'd fuck you until neither of us could stand." He whispered the words against my lips before pushing me off his lap and taking a swig of his beer. "But I'm not because instead of asking like I wanted you to, you slapped me yesterday. If you had asked, I would have fucked you right then and there as hot as you looked in that dress." He glared at me. I pulled down the jersey as much as possible and sat down with a huff, glaring back with arms crossed over my chest to hide how hard my nipples were at the moment.

"Yeah well, I'm starting to think you need the power play bullshit to even get hard. You probably have functional problems."

"Don't try that game Angel." He said with a laugh.

"What game?"

"Agitating me until I do something. That's my job in the gang, you can't play me."

"Well, you're fucking perfect at it then. Ass."

"Coward." He lifted his arm and I cuddled back against him, ignoring his smile as I subjugated myself to death by baseball.


	26. Chapter 26

"That fucking idiot. I always yell at him to check his fucking corners. I'm going to kill him when I see him." Lin slammed her fist on the bar, signing for another drink. The bartender quickly dropped a fresh one in front of her before hauling ass out of the way. "I'm never going to let him forget this either, he always critiques my fighting but at least I look the fuck behind me."

"Trust me, I plan on remembering to do that." I swirled my straw in my Shirley Temple, my head was killing me from lack of a goodnight's sleep, too many nightmares in too short of a time.

"Surprised you're not under lock and key. Julius likes to baby us girls." Her grimace was a welcomed sight.

"I was." Sleeping over Troy's hadn't been fun. For starters his bed squeaked if you so much as twitched, then there was the fact he didn't have air conditioning. Half way through the night I gave up the idea of actually sleeping there and tried to sneak back to my place. Of course since he practically slept on top of me, it had taken quite a bit of wiggling before I got out of the bed without waking him. The problem was I didn't have any way to get home besides walking and I hadn't paid attention when Julio had driven me over since I had been so pissed. In the end, I had woke him up and demanded to be taken home, to which he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down on the bed and told me to go to sleep. "I had to stay at Troy's for the night. He's a goddamn sleep cuddler."

"Shit, I'm going to have to reevaluate my opinion of you girl, I thought you'd have better taste than Troy." She took a sip of her drink. "He any good in bed 'cause he always seemed like a minute man to me."

"No idea. He's got this whole thing that I have to…" I struggled for the right words. "Start things with him."

"And why haven't you?" She gave me a look. "Aw, are you a virgin?" She teased me.

"No!" I could feel my face becoming red hot as I blushed. She smirked at my discomfort.

"Aw, it's okay kid, virginity is just a social construct. It really doesn't mean anything."

"I'm not a goddamn virgin. I've fucked lots of guys." I yelled at her, ducking my head down when I realized that quite a few women were staring at me.

"Uh huh, sure you have. You in the closet?"

"For fuck's sake, why do people keep asking me that?" Too many people had thought I was gay in my life, Babette had even given me the 'it's okay to be gay' talk when she found my binder in the wash. Trying to explain to her I used it for ballet had not been fun since she refused to believe me.

"Well, you didn't even balk at meeting me in a gay bar." Aisha had asked me if I would inform Lin about Gat's predicament and considering I felt responsible for it, I had agreed even if I thought it was a bad idea to bother the undercover Saint. Sure enough she had dropped everything to meet up here.

"Wait what?" Honestly I hadn't noticed what kind of bar it was, I had just been surprised it was open this early. Guess it explained the number of women and lack of men. "You said this was the only place Rollerz wouldn't bother you, so I couldn't exactly complain."

"Yeah, those misogynist assholes aren't allowed in here." She finished her drink as she stood. "Thanks for meeting me kid. Do me a favor and get some info on a Donny from Dex. I think he's my ticket in." She gave me a shark-like smile. "He's very easy to push around and I like my men easy to beat into submission."

XXX

"Hey big guy." I leaned into the window of the lime, my shirt was loose enough that it gaped letting the driver have a full view of my breasts clad in gold lace.

"I'm on duty sweet thing." I resisted the urge to kill him right there as his eyes were glued to my chest. Sure it was what I had been going for but it still annoyed me.

"Miss Winters told me to take care of you, she's going to be extra-long today."

"Wouldn't want such generosity to go to waste. Hop in." He opened his door for me.

"Nah, big guy, she doesn't want a mess left in the car, mine is right over there." I ran my hand up my leg, pulling up my skirt enough to flash him. He was right behind me as I entered the alley, practically panting. I didn't feel a shred of remorse as I lean against the wall as the man was garroted by Julio. Garroting was much cleaner and quieter than just shooting the guy and frankly that much ogling should be punished.

"Explain to me why you had no problem propositioning a stranger but you stumble with me." Troy said as he loped an arm around my shoulder as we waited for the man to die, apparently being choked to death took longer than the movies ever showed.

"It's easier when you're planning on killing someone." I replied drolly. We didn't want blood on the uniform and plus it was much quieter to kill him this way. I turned into his arms looking away from the murder. Sure the guy worked for the wrong side and was a pig but it still was bad to see someone die that slowly.

"You remember the plan right?" I nodded against him. Julio was going to dress as the driver while I hide down in the passenger side. Troy's guys were going to cause problems while we were driving Tanya back to her place so that she would be flustered and not take notice of Julio. As soon as we got her back to the penthouse, we'd bust in and get Gat back out, taking out any in our way.

"Fuck, I swear he wasn't ever going to die." Julio bitched as he started to strip the body.

"Yeah, don't worry we've got this."

"Be careful, okay?" He cupped the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss.

"Always." I bit my lip as I fought past the sudden wave of anxiety. "Tonight my place? Yours is way too warm and don't forget to bring protection." A slow smile spread over his face making mine heat.

"That wasn't so hard was it Angel?"

"You two remember we are supposed to be doing something right?" Julio interjected killing the moment. I glared at Julio as I squared my shoulders and walked to the limo. He was still snickering when he joined me, I punched him in the leg, effectively shutting him up.

XXX

Tanya was without a doubt the most annoying and ignorant slag I had ever had the displeasure of listening to. She talked to Julio the whole drive not even caring that he didn't answer her back. At one point he had push me back down as I was going to murder her for her shit talking on Manolo, that slag didn't know anything about shoes. She was, as my father put it, low class pretending to be high class while having no class.

I was grateful beyond grateful when the gang finally started attacking the limo and we were suddenly hauling ass back to her place. She was so self-absorbed she didn't even notice the two of us following her. As soon as she entered the pass code, I took a crack at her with my bat, the sound of the pong as it hit her hollow head and thud of her body as she fell made the day all better. The Vk's weren't expecting us making them easy targets. Julio was nowhere near as good as a partner as Gat was, he didn't move as well nor were his shots as well placed. As we fought them, I could hear Johnny taunting them, his cockiness made me smile. Green was the last one we took out, I stood over him, my boot on his neck as he bled out from a gut shot.

"The gun you took from me, where is it?" I demanded.

"Probably need to lift your foot so he can answer chica." After a moment I did.

"Tossed that piece of shit." Rage flowed through me.

"That was my father's." I brought the bat down on wound. "Where is it?" I screamed.

"I don't have it!" He shrieked as I kicked his side.

"Hey, not to be pushy or nothing, but how about one of you bitches get me out of this fucking chair!"

"I'll give you until I untie Gat to tell me where my gun is. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help me dissect you."

"Wouldn't that be a vivisection?" Julio interjected. "I think that's breaking the Geneva Conventions, isn't it?" He watched Green while I went over Johnny who was on the floor tied to a chair. I lifted it back up, struggling under his weight.

"Fuck you're fat."

"Yo, fuck you." I used a knife to slit the ropes holding him in place, paling at the sight of his knee and blood stained pants. Someone had just duct taped it to stop him from bleeding out. "Don't you fucking faint on me."

"Own blood makes me faint, not yours. Just thinking of all the germs and how lucky you are." I braced him with one arm as we walked back to Green on the floor. "So know where my gun is yet?"

"Tanya has it." As soon as the words spilled from his mouth, Johnny took the gun in Julio's hand and fired shots in Green until the gun clicked.

"Feeling better?"

"It's a start. Gimme a phone, Green had some heavy shit in the back that'll do our boys good."

XXX

"You big idiot." Aisha tackle hugged Gat as soon as we entered the church almost knocking all three of us over. He wasn't openly showing it but I knew he was feeling the pain from his knee. I steadied him as he wrapped his arms around his girl.

"Worried about me Eesh?"

"No. I'm pissed because I just bought you those jeans and look at what you did to them." Got to hand it to her, her voice was stern and angry but the look in her eyes told a different story.

"Well I told you not to spend so much of my money."

"Johnny don't you go there or I'll hurt you."

"Promises, promises." He smiled at her before loping an arm over her shoulders. She helped me get him over to Carmen who stated that she had to take him to the hospital to get his knee fixed. Being around the two lovers was unnerving, if only because it brought back vague memories of my parents before Gabriel died. They had been so in love, things had been happy at home once upon a time.

I pushed the morbid thoughts out of my head and focused on more important things. Like getting my gun back from that slag. I hated my father for everything he had done but I still wanted it back. One way or another I was going to get it. I checked the clock, I had a lot things to do before tonight. Dread curled in my stomach as thoughts of how badly I would screw things up bounced around in my head.


	27. Sexy Time, Fun Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sex chapter. Seriously we both know this is the one you've been waiting for.  
> XXX

"Stupid piece of shit." I slammed the straightener in the garbage bin, frustrated beyond belief. Trying to straighten my hair never worked, not once, but at least once a year I was stupid enough to buy a new straightener only for it to end up with the same fate. "Stupid fucking hair." I bitched as soothed some mousse to my hair in a vain attempt to control it. I rummaged through my make up kit, trying to figure out what to put on, in the end I rejected most of it, if only because I probably wouldn't have a chance to wash off my face later and waking up with caked make-up wasn't fun. I did however spend close to half an hour treating my skin with lotion to repair the damage from shitty soap did to it. Of course I was stuck with the decision of whether to wear lipstick or lip stain, one would last while Troy would probably end up wearing some of it. "Oh yes." I smiled as I took in the sight of my crimson lips, the brand I bought gave them a wonderful wet look.

Clothes were a lot harder to figure out, after all they were only going to come off. I didn't want to look too eager but I didn't need anything to get torn in the rush of it all. Skirts were always good, after a moment I decided on adding white garters and stockings with the plaid skirt since I noticed he liked them. After a few minutes I decided on a simple white button down. One look in the mirror made me blush, I looked like a school girl fetish come to life. I wasn't worried, almost every guy had a school girl kink, something about sullying the innocent always did just the thing for them. I almost wished I had some oxfords to complete the look but they hurt like hell. I glared at my phone when it started ringing and debated letting it go to voicemail when I saw that it was Dex calling. Dollars to doughnuts he probably needed me to do something. After a moment I finally picked up the phone.

"Didn't think you were going to pick up."

"I considered it. What do you need me to do at this hour?"

"Hey not every time I call I need you to do shit. There's other people in the gang for that."

"Yeah well sometimes it doesn't feel that way." I sighed as I looked at the clock wondering how long whatever he was going to ask me to do would take.

"Well that's what you get for being good at the job." He chuckled. "Nah, I don't got a job for you tonight, just thought I'd give you a heads up that Orejuela left the city." Relief flowed through me that he wasn't going to be around anymore. "I don't know what bug was up his ass about you but he doesn't seem like he's coming back for a while." I thanked him and hung up. Hopefully he would keep his word and stay silent. I didn't know how much the Russians were offering for me but it couldn't be more than what was owed them. If he didn't talk, they wouldn't find me. They could never find me, I didn't want to test their threats of what they would do.

The knocking on my door kept me from going down the familiar path that would end up with me in a ball on the floor. I took a deep breath before I opened the door trying to keep myself from feeling too anxious. I wouldn't have been so nervous if he wasn't putting too much importance on this. It was just sex for crying out loud, there was really nothing special about it but then why the hell was I nervous as a virgin?

"Thought you weren't going to open the door for a moment there." Troy smiled at me when I finally did open it. "Brought you a gift." He held up a box of wine. I grimaced so hard my nose felt like it curled into itself. I snatched it from him and chucked it up the stairs that led to my place hearing a satisfying thunk.

"Do not ever insult me with that shit again." I slapped his cheek lightly in punishment.

"Hey I was told it was good, thought you'd be happy."

"I'm beyond insulted, I'm half tempted to kick you out."

"At least wait until morning to kick me out Angel." He said as he took me in his arms pressing me against the door, the sound of the lock sent shivers down my spine.

"You plan on staying the night, do you?" He had already stayed at my place before but some guys didn't like to stay after the act.

"Is that okay with you?" He cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing over my lower lip. I nodded, my hands going to the back of his neck pulling him down for a kiss. I liked the way he kissed, his rough lips against mine, his tongue teasing before stroking mine, his teeth scraping when I followed after him. I whimpered into his mouth as he picked me straight off the floor, managing not to break the kiss until he moved us over to the bed where he pushed down on the bed. I wasn't prepared for it and ended up sprawled on the bed. "Don't." He stated when I started to sit up. I lean back on my elbows, my legs wantonly spread as he pulled off his shirt. I watched as he emptied out his pockets on my nightstand, his phone, wallet, gun, a pack of Newports and a roll of condoms before he pulled off his pants. "Don't, I want to do that." He said when I went to unbutton my shirt. He knelt down on the floor, his hands hooking under my knees as he pulled me to the edge. I felt nervous as he ran his hands up my legs, pushing my skirt up to my waist. "Fuck Angel, you're beautiful." He ducked his head down, his kiss at the top of my stockings set me on edge. His hands tightened on my thighs when I unconsciously started to close them as he licked his way up my inner thigh. I bit my lip, my hands twisting in the sheets, the squeezing wasn't exactly painful but it felt good. He continued licking and sucking along my thighs, his breath on where I needed him badly when he alternated, but he didn't moved to where I was aching with need, his fingers digging into my legs when my hips moved of their own accord.

"Troy please." I beseeched him.

"Is there something you want?" He rested his head on my leg, his thumb swiped between my nether lips before sucking on it. "I was right, you do taste good." He spread me open giving me a devilish look before ducking down and using his mouth on me. He knew what he was doing as he lapped at me. I ran my hands through his hair, trying to direct him to where I wanted him but he continued to tease me. I whimpered when he rose up, motioning for me to sit up. He stripped me of my shirt, his hands on either side of my hips as he proceeded to torment my breasts, once again avoiding the spots I wanted him at the most. "Do you know you taste of cinnamon?" He asked against my skin, his tongue flicking out for another taste.

"It's the lotion I use." I threaded my hands through his hair pulling him up so that I could kiss him. He fought me, his hands pushing me back on the bed pinning me down as he rose over me. He pressed his body against mine for a moment before pulling away. He reached back on the nightstand, ripping off one of the condoms. I plucked it out of his hands and pushed him down on the bed. "Let me." He quirked an eyebrow at me and laid back.

"Can you leave those on?" He asked when I shed my skirt and started to take off the stockings.

"You like them, do you?" The lust in his eyes made my heart race as I knelt down next to him. It had been a while since I had done this and I sent a quick prayer to the gods that I wouldn't screw this up. I ignored his look, the need to get off was making my hands tremble as I opened it. I wanted to tease him but I was too worked up. Thumbs, tip of the tongue, make a seal and down, I chanted in my head before acting them out. He swore when I flawlessly got the condom on with my mouth without gagging. I smiled at him as I ran my hand down his cock, double checking it was secure. I braced myself on his chest as I swung my leg over his hip, his cock was hard and hot against my ass as I bent down to kiss him. I wanted nothing more to impale myself on him and fuck him until I couldn't move anymore but this position reminded me of something important.

"Wait, I forgot to tell you-" I started pulling away from him.

"Angel, I swear if you just got me worked up like this only to stop, I'll spank you." He squeezed my ass instead of following through on his threat.

"No, no, nothing like that." I reassured him, giving him a peck on the lips. "No missionary. Got it?" I could see he wanted to ask questions but he quickly agreed when I rubbed against him. I smiled as I rose up and reached between us placing him just at the right spot so that I sank down easily on him. He filled me up just the right way making me moan as I rocked against him. I slapped his hands away from my hips when he tried to slow my rhythm, I wasn't about to allow him to deny me anymore. His knowing smirk made me desperate to get off; I didn't put it past him to somehow delay my gratification again. That first flutter came over me, my whole body tensing, nails digging into his chest where I braced myself as I felt myself finally reach fulfillment. I bit my lip, my legs squeezing his hips as his hands cupped my breasts urging me on.

"Hold on to the headboard." He told me as he maneuvered me against it. He kissed my nape, sucking on the spot were neck met shoulder as his hands held my hips tight as he found the right angle and thrust into me. He teased me with shallow thrusts, the angle kept me on edge. "You have the sweetest pussy Angel." He whispered into my ear, his teeth pulling at my lobe. "I could fuck you all night." He promised as he held me tight. His chest molded to my back as his he started to lose his rhythm, fingers flicking my clit as he whispered encouragements to me. My head fell back against his shoulder, his words and fingers sending me over the edge again. He groaned against my neck, his body stiffening as he joined me. He pressed kisses to my shoulder once he was recovered enough to move. After a few minutes, we separated, him going to clean up while I laid there basking in the aftermath.

After a few minutes he joined me back on the bed. He settled in next to me, his hand threading through my hair as he looked at me. He was looking at me not with lust but with something close to regret. The look was gone before I could question it, his hands moving over me making me forget what I was going to say.

"So worth the wait?" I teased when I came up for air.

"Going to have to have seconds before I can answer that." He turned serious again. "So what's the story with no missionary?" I didn't want to answer him as I knew he would ask too many questions but I knew he wasn't going to let it go.

"There's pain in some positions, that's all."

"I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure that's not normal Angel."

"I know." I ran my hand down his chest, needing to distract him. "How about we explore the many other ones that are so nice?" He didn't need much coaxing to agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to chyrstis who looked this over for me.


	28. Chapter 28

Mike had the worst timing of any person he knew. Usually after a nice fuck session he liked to get some decent sleep but of course Mike decided to call for a meeting tonight. The buzzing of the phone hadn't woken Ang up nor had his soft tones but when he started to get out of bed she stirred.

"I thought you were staying until morning?" She mumbled sleepily.

"Got a run I have to do, sorry." He dropped a kiss on her temple. "Go back to sleep."

"Key's by the door." She pulled the covers up over her head and snuggled into the pillows. He was reaching for her keys when he noticed a separate set next to them. She had made him a key. Shit. He looked over to the bed, noticing she had fallen back asleep. Did she even realize how big of a step in a relationship that was? Fuck, he had only made it far enough once in his life to be given a key. Shit, this was an important thing in most relationships, how the hell was he supposed to explain that to her without coming off sounding like a condescending asshole? He glared at it for a moment before taking it. Goddamn it. He saw that she had but some thought into getting it made, purple metal with a Saint logo. Fuck goddamn it. He was going to have to figure out how to talk to her about it, he couldn't have her thinking this relationship was more than it was.

XXX

The Pancake Haus was located at the wharf tucked into a little corner that the mass of eighteen wheelers usually hid. It was a perfect meeting place, the high turnover of dockworkers, truckers and wait staff made it so that they weren't even seen by the same people. Mike was already at their usual table, the remains of breakfast on his tie as he drank coffee while reading the paper. That he had not waited did not bode well for this morning. He flagged down he waitress before taking the seat across from his handler. Mike ignored him for a moment apparently finishing the article he was reading before turning a glare on him.

"Anything you'd like to declare before we start?" He set his paper down looking over the rim of his glasses. Mike was old enough to be his father and had been picked due to the fact the two of them looked similar enough to fool the casual observer into believing they were father and son. The fact his handler treated him like a young punk who knew nothing helped with the illusion while making more than half their meetings end with Troy wanting to punching him, just like his actual father.

"I'm too tired to play games, just tell me." He sat back as the waitress set down coffee and a cruller. He liked his coffee strong and black, the bitterness offset by the cruller, the caffeine and sugar smoothing out his jangled nerves. He stared his handler down waiting for the big reveal, knowing full well you never answered when someone asked you a question like that.

"Biggest rule out there: No broads." A photo from the party of Ang sitting on his lap half asleep was slid across the table, followed by one of him kissing her at her place, the bandage on her arm let him know it was the first one they shared. The last photo that was slid to him he quickly flipped over to hide from prying eyes as it was from his place, Ang perched on his lap, whispering in his ear, his hands cupped on her ass. He had always had a feeling his place was bugged but know it was unsettling. He took a sip of his coffee, trying to figure out what to say. Mike had apparently known for over two months about her, he was in deep shit. "You open your mouth to her yet?"

"Jesus Mike give me a little credit I'm not that fucking stupid." He gathered the photos and slipped them into his jacket unsure of what he was going to do with them.

"Well I don't know about that, some of these photos clearly show you engaging in relations with a minor." He tossed down a manila folder. Dread curled in his stomach as he took it and looked inside. Arrest reports came in three flavors: minimal aka I'm not getting paid enough to write, by the book exactly as they were told to do and excessive as I'm covering my ass. The arrest report for one Angelique Montague was of the excessive variety. According to Officer Martinez she had blown through a red light, when stopped she had propositioned him and became violent when refused. In her possession had been a variety of drugs and sixteen boxes of condoms. He read between the lines at what really happened making a mental note to pay Martinez a visit when he saw the mug shot. Dirty arrests like this were the reason that gangs started fighting against the police, one day he promised, things would be different. It irked him that she didn't call him to handle it, it bothered him even more that Gat hadn't turned it over to him like usual. Most people did call Gat to break the news to the gang, guess he was more approachable. For a sociopath that is. No, not only had the two of them failed to inform him but they had both covered up the reason for her bruises. Then there was the fact she had been taken in with a car registered in her name which meant that Dex knew something about it as he was the one who could get the cars out of impound without trouble. Fuck, she hadn't even told him about getting a car.

"I didn't touch her until she was legal."

"Huh-uh, just some over the clothes petting, right? No finger banging or head correct?"

"Yeah." He choked out, his handler's crudeness making him blush as realized how illegal his activities had been with Ang.

"I'm telling you this shit better not come back and bite us in the ass because I don't know about you but that ain't my type of thing."

"Fuck Mike, cut me a break, I've been in this shit for how long now? I deserve some fun, that's all she is." He drummed his fingers on the table. He had to sell this to Mike just right or he'd be forced to break it off with her. Breaking things off right after fucking wouldn't go well for either of them. He figured he knew her well enough that she would either do something monumentally stupid in retaliation or end up just leaving the gang which would be better for her, she wasn't exactly bright enough to survive on her own with whatever she was running from. For fuck's sake, she hadn't even had decent fake IDs and had been running out of food when she joined up. His position would be jeopardized too, Julius wouldn't have something so disrespectful happen in the gang, lieutenant or not. He'd seen boys do similar shit only to be tossed to the dogs, aka Gat's fists. The last guy ended up with a permanent limp. "She's not from here, doesn't know fuck all about anything besides fighting and shoes and reeks of money. Those aren't knock offs she's wearing."

"How much we talking about?" Mike was a greedy fuck when it came to money. All the money Troy made in the gang was supposed to go back to the city at the end of the assignment but some of it would end up lining his handler's pockets instead.

"Don't know for sure, I was hoping you could look into her family, see exactly how much bank we're talking." He retrieved a slip of paper from his jacket that had all the details he had managed to find the other week.

"Yeah not a problem. You just make sure you just don't knock the broad up, that would fuck shit up big time."

"Trust me, hell will freeze over before that happens." Having gotten a tenuous approval, he moved on to gang business. The two of them huddled over a map of the city as he marked off the newest territory owned by the Saints. The two of them talked over which Saints could and should be arrested in the coming time, mostly the youngest member Troy hadn't wanted in the gang in the first place. Had he not gotten involved with her, Ang would have been on this list. He had to be careful with the people he picked out, they had to seem random, it couldn't be anyone he had a bias against and it couldn't weaken the gang too much. It was his job to keep the gang just ahead of the curve, giving them advantage against the others but quick to fall when they finally won. Mike was disappointed there was no information on the drugs since Dex was keeping that close to his chest. They arranged some raids however that would come up empty making the police to seem incompetent. It was important the police look weak as with the way things were going, the city would be gang free before the New Year. Troy was more than relieved when he finished up, the sun just rising up. He wondered for a minute if he should just head home or go back to Ang's. After a cig, he made his decision.

XXX

She barely stirred as he quietly closed the door to her place, still sleeping, the covers kicked off during her sleep as she curled around what looked like a teddy bear. He tried to be quiet as he disrobed again and crawled into bed next to her but the movement must have woke her as she turned towards him, her eyes still sleepy.

"Bonjour amant garçon." She whispered before giving him a peck on the lips.

"You've called me that before, what's it mean?"

"Lover-boy." She smiled at him.

"Seriously?" He laughed. "That's a horrible pet name."

"Well so is Angel." She huffed giving him her back. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her back against him, swearing when she rubbed that sweet little ass of hers against him. He nipped at her lobe, his hand leaving her waist to cup one of her breasts.

"Fuck Angel, you are insatiable." He teased as he dropped as kiss on the tattoo on her neck. She pulled away putting the bear she had been cuddling in the far corner before turning back to him.

"Three times is hardly insatiable." She wrapped her arms around him. "Of course I understand if you can't keep up with me at your advanced age." She teased. Before he could respond, her smile faded and he could feel a fine tremor start as she pulled her arms away. "Merde." She threw her arm over her eyes, rapid French coming out of her mouth.

"Need a translation here." The only word he understood out of the lot had been father.

"My father was right about me." She sat up pulling the sheet up covering her body from his sight. She wrapped her arms around her knees, hiding her face against them. He ran his hand through his hair as he sat up; he wasn't sure how to handle whatever the hell was happening. He ran his hand over her hair and down her back, waiting for her to calm down.

"So guess we're not going to fuck again? Guess it's for the best with me being so old." He said in a droll tone. He heard a small laugh from her, though she still kept her face hidden. "I mean, my advanced age here it's a miracle I haven't had a heart attack with that last round, that thing you do with your tongue is enough to make my heart race."

"Do you mind? I'm trying to have a moment here." She grumbled. He rubbed slow circles over her back as she calmed down. "I always screwed my boyfriends pretty fast but I could comfort myself that I wasn't a whore because I knew them from my social circle." She turned her head and looked at him. "You, I don't know anything about, screwing around with someone you hardly know is something a whore does, just like my sister."

"Whores sleep with someone they don't have feelings for." He pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Unless you're trying to tell me something here."

"What? No!" He checked his smile as she blushed. "No, I like you." She stammered.

"I figured from the key." She blinked at him before ducking her head.

"I made that for myself not you. I needed a spare and figured I'd make one that was more personal." Oh. Well, didn't he feel like an ass now? At least that was one less worry.

"Angel, we've killed together, I'm pretty sure that makes us closer than your boyfriends and I'm stressing boy here." His tone got a faint smile out of her as he quickly changed the subject.

"You don't think me a whore for wanting you from the moment I saw you?"

"To be fair, I'm pretty damn irresistible." After a moment he had to add, "It's not that funny", when she had starting giggling inanely.

"Of course not amant garçon." She said when she finally stopped laughing at him. "I'm sorry for this." She said softly.

"Tell you what, why don't you ask me whatever makes you feel more comfortable with this." He smiled at her. "But each question comes with a price."

"What's the price?" She asked after a minute of chewing on her lip.

"A kiss." He was rewarded with a smile, her eyes filling with eagerness.

"How old are you anyway?"

"I turn thirty end of the year, x-mas baby." She uncurled from her position to crawl over to him and press her lips to his.

"Last name?"

"Johnson." Unlike her, he could get out his false name without a hitch. With this kiss, she crawled into his lap, her arms going around him, the blanket discarded between them as she pressed her body against his.

"Who's Mike and why does he call you in the middle of the night?" She whispered into his ear. His hands stilled as his mind race. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "Troy? Are you okay?" She drew back from him, her eyes full of concern at his sudden withdrawal.

"He's my sponsor." He finally came up with.

"What?!" She looked at him in what appeared to be horror. "You're an alcoholic and you've, you, you… Imbécile!" She slapped him. "I've been sharing my drinks with you, do you have any idea how much of an asshole that makes me!"

"NA Angel, not AA." He stopped her from slapping him against, his cheek already stinging.

"Oh." Her anger deflated. "Sorry." She kissed his cheek gently. "That's why you don't like the drugs."

"Yeah I don't go to the meetings since it'd look bad to some of the gang. Mike makes me check in with him once a week when he knows I won't be on duty." For excuses it was a pretty damn brilliant one and from her expression one that she had taken without a doubt. As she started to move against him, her lips pressing hot kisses along his neck, he couldn't help but to regret how much he'd miss this when the job was done, he enjoyed her skillful hands and tongue, the way she got quiet biting her lip when she came and the way she would curled into him afterwards. He ignored the twinge of guilt as he fucked her after all he had done worse things in the name of his job. What did one girl's heart really matter in the long term?


	29. Chapter 29

"Looks like you got fucked good chica." Julio practically yelled across the parking lot, laughing when I stumbled over my own feet. I glared at him as I walked towards him, fully intending to punch the pot smoking idiot out. "He got you good didn't he?"

"Would you shut the fuck up you idiot?" I hissed as he started to wisely back away as I approached.

"Hey, I'm just saying." He ducked as I went to punch him, laughing like a loon.

"Well shut up about that!" My red felt as red as my hair as he ducked another punch.

"So he's not good enough to wear you out, chica?" He blocked my fist, pushing me off balance as he laughed.

"Gods be damned, I'm going to kick your ass if you keep talking about this."

"Got to catch me first." He bounced around me like a bunny making me wonder if his joint was laced with speed or something. He was quick on his feet, always out of reach or managing to block the best of my blows. I faked him out pretending I was going to swing again and when he went to block it, I kicked him in the stomach instead. "Fuck chica, thanks for not going for the nuts." He said after getting his breath back.

"You'd deserve it. How the hell you know what happened between me and Troy anyhow?" I doubted that he would have run his mouth to anyone about last night, but still people did brag and damn it I was brag worthy.

"Any man worth his salt can tell when a woman's been done right. Her whole body moves differently like it's trying to cling to the memory of what her man did to her. Or you know, woman." He shrugged. "My cousin can make straight girls walk like that for days. Always throws it in my face, you know." I elbowed him when he threw his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm walking like I always do." I huffed as I walked away.

"You keep telling yourself that!" I ignored him and focused on not paying attention to how I was walking, only to trip going up the stairs to the church. I was surprised to find Johnny in the armory doing what looked like inventory. His leg was in a brace of some kind as he sat in a wheelchair with a clipboard on his lap as he wrote stuff down.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I asked as I leaned against the door frame.

"Fuck that. What am I going to do all day, watch the fucking soaps?"

"Take time and recover?" He gave me a disgusted look before returning to what he was doing. "Or I don't know, maybe spend some time with your girlfriend?" He turned in the chair and looked me over for a moment.

"You're one of those fancy chicks, I need some advice with Eesh."

"Fancy chicks?"

"Yeah, you like all the sparkles and shit. I got Eesh a gift and I don't think she liked it at all but it's not like she came out and said it, you know? Just did one of those girl moves, you know what I'm talking about."

"What did you get her?"

"Semi-automatic shotgun with custom stock."

"Seriously, you got her a gun?" I shook my head. "That's a gift you get yourself. Get her flowers or take her to a fancy restaurant, the kind that ends with the bill in triple digits."

"The gun's more practical. That shit is useless, flowers fucking die and what the hell is wrong with Freckle Bitch's?"

"It's fast food that's the problem."

"But it's good." He almost whined.

"That's not the point."

"What the fuck is the point then?" I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. I didn't know if he was purposely being dense or if he was one of those guys who really didn't get the point of romance.

"Most girls like to show off. She can't exactly show off a gun." I held up my hand when he opened his mouth, surprisingly he actually let me continue. "We like pretty things that aren't always useful. One of my exes used to get me white roses every week and when we started screwing he added a red one. Now I hate roses but it was sweet and thoughtful."

"That's fucking cheesy."

"Yeah well it was sweet enough to land me on my back."

"So stupid shit that burns a hole in my pocket." I sighed again. Yeah, he was definitely one of those men. I could only pity Aisha.

"Just don't take her over to Freckle Bitch's, take her over to Lucia's over on 8th street."

"Yeah well, Freckle Bitch's doesn't have handicap access." The way he handled the chair as he rolled away made me think that it wasn't his first time being laid up. I spent the next two hours helping him organize the armory, counting supplies and learning how to clean most of the gang's guns. Troy had never got around to teaching me and surprisingly Gat was good at teaching. True he did slide in some innuendos: make sure you have the proper lube, finger that star chamber, etc. It was easy to chill with him, he was one of the few people I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with.

After getting everything squared away, he shoved a clipboard at me and told me to take it to Julius, where I found the real reason I didn't have much interaction with the boss. Julius' office was on the second floor of the church that I hadn't realize existed since I didn't think anyone would try to climb the broken steps. They wobbled as I climbed them on tiptoe, my heels in hand since I didn't trust the stairs not to break under the fine points and kill me. After nearly half an hour I managed to get up them and found Troy and him going over some paperwork. Paperwork wasn't something I ever thought would matter with a gang, after all weren't we all just a bunch of criminals?

"You got to learn to speak up playa. No reason for you to be slinking around like that." Julius waved me over when he noticed me standing there. Troy gave me a wink before turning back to the papers in front of him.

"Sorry sir, I didn't want to interrupt you." I held out the clipboard for him.

"You do all this?"

"Non, Johnny did." I squeaked as Troy's hand caressed my leg. I shot a look at him but he was focused on whatever he was looking at. The boss didn't notice either way, the desk hiding his view of it.

"I told him to stay home." He grumbled. "If that boy ever listened it would snow in hell."

"Told you he would show up." Julius sighed and shook his head.

"Thanks kid." He waved me off.

"You need help getting back down?" Troy asked.

"It's only the second floor, I should be fine." I gave him a weak smile.

"Why would she need help?" He looked over at me. "Don't tell me you came in with injuries."

"Scared of heights, had to rescue her after killing Hector." While it amused him, it didn't amuse Julius one bit who was now glaring at me.

"You didn't think to mention this when I gave you that job?"

"I knew I could do the job and I did."

"You put the gang on the line with that shit." He yelled at me. "What if you have gotten caught? The whole point of that mission was to keep our names clear of it. You could have fucked us all." He slammed his hand on the desk.

"Jules, calm down. It's over and done with." Troy said soothingly, his stroking hand the only thing keeping me calm in the face of the boss' anger. "I've taken her off rotation for any jobs that involve heights."

"This is bigger than your ego girl. You say you knew you could do it. What if you couldn't? Your actions are greater than you and you aren't thinking a damn how it affects others are you?" He stood and glared at me. "Three times now you have put yourself at risk and subsequently the gang. I deal enough with Gat's bullshit, I will not deal with yours too." I didn't know what to say, I hadn't been acting any different from anyone else and what the hell did he mean three times?

"Cut her a break, she's a fucking kid and st-"

"That doesn't seem to be stopping you." Julius cut whatever Troy was going to say off. For a moment Troy didn't react, his hand stilling on my leg before dropping off.

"Head down Angel and I'll see you tonight." He said his face was bright red as he tossed the papers he had been looking at down and stood. I hurried out of the room only catching part of what he started to say. "I'm not Dex so don't think I'll put up with shit like that…"

XXX

My whole body felt like a giant bruise, making me miss having a tub to soak in more than ever. A hot shower really didn't help with the achiness and I was hoping that a cup of hot tea would. I stood waiting for the kettle to boil as I reflected on how much Gat actually did for the gang.

He was responsible for a lot of the younger and more violent gang members, the ones that needed a firm hand when it came to making sure they weren't causing more problems than we solved. It required a lot of hard talking and the occasional beating. Since he was laid out, some of them had decided they didn't need to listen to him, which ended with them on their asses. Gat didn't even need to get up to deal with them, just managed to take them down in the chair. Some of them he just talked to and it was heartwarming how easily he could connect to people.

Then there was canonizing that he was in charge of. You had to watch people before you even let them let think of getting in the circle. Gat was good at picking out those who would do more harm than good for the gang, he could spot a psycho a mile away. Since enrollment was up ever since the fall of Los Carnales, young blood was being turned away with Gat telling them to go back to school before he got the hell out of his chair and dragged them there.

Of course since my name was attached to Troy's people no longer had a problem with me helping out with the fights and because I was the one to take out Los Carnales a lot of people wanted a piece of me. I couldn't show any weakness and take everything with a smile, more or less. He insisted that I had to let the newbies get a hit in or two once in a while to give them some confidence. He explained was why I was able to hit so many in my canonization and was why I felt like walking tenderized meaticle.

The water finally ready, I poured my tea and added cream and sugar, just like Father used to make his. Worst part of my father was when he wasn't stinking drunk, he had been good. Those far and few moments had been everything for me, just like those moments when Babette had been lucid. Those moments in between had been what I wanted for family. It was why I could never really hate any of them. I settled down with my laptop, ready to veg out to a movie when the pounding at the door came almost making me drop my tea.

"You need to learn to knock like a civilized person." I complained as I opened the door.

"Force of habit." Troy said as he walked in. He was carrying takeout from Freckle Bitch's which he tossed on the counter before taking me in his arms and kissing me. I could help but pull out of his arms when he squeezed me too tight and accidently hurt me. He looked at me and lifted my shirt to look over the bruises. "Let me guess, Gat convinced you to let people get a hit in on you once and a while?" He sighed when I nodded. "There's a reason I don't do them that often anymore."

"Yeah, I'm not listening to him anymore. I rather scare the shit out of people and be unfriendly than do this again." I bit my lip and stared at my feet for a moment. "I don't think I'm up for sex tonight, so I'll understand if you want to head out now instead of wasting your time." He was quite for a few minutes before he said anything.

"I, uh, brought dinner, didn't know if you had eaten yet."

"I ate real food. I'm a good cook." I said tentively, still waiting for him to leave.

"No shit? You'll have to cook for me sometime just don't make me eat snails." He smiled as grabbed the bag of food and plopped down on my bed. "You got any movies or anything?" He asked as he kicked off his shoes and stretched out. I joined him on the bed and set my laptop up for a movie, a Bruce Campbell flick of course.

"You should maybe not eat those that much, you're going to ruin your body." I said when he started on his second sandwich as I stole his fries.

"I'll be fine Angel." He stroked a hand through my hair. "Though I'm going to have to get a cold shower before I can get some sleep tonight." He said with a smile.

"You staying over again?"

"Unless you have a problem with it, your bed is more comfortable, plus I figure I can get breakfast in bed." I quirked a brow at him before cuddling back into him to watch the movie. A night with my two favorite men. What could be better?

 


	30. Chapter 30

"Oh gods that's good." I moaned as the hand slid down my spine, my body shuddering in pleasure.

"Yeah, told you." Johnny smiled at me. It was strange seeing him without the shades, his eyes a lighter brown than mine. My toes curled up as hands caressing me hit a partially sensitive spot making me bite my lip to keep quiet. "Oh yeah, you like that?"

"I can't believe I hesitated to do this."Gods, I had been so reluctant to go to the massage parlor with him but I needed some TLC after the latest canonization. Thank the gods they only happened on Sundays.

"Remember the golden rule; Gat's always right even when he's wrong." His groan echoed my own, the look of pleasure on his face was breathtaking. When he realized I was looking, he winked at me, making me blush. "Careful, I think they charge more if you get off." He snickered when I looked away from him, hiding my face.

"You are so crude, Johnny." His name came out on a moan as the masseur dug into my back. This job was taking a lot out of me; it was worse than a real job. Two whole months waiting for him to get back up on his feet literally while being ordered to pick up the slack that he couldn't. Julius had made it clear, since my fuck-up had put Gat in his current stage, I would be the one to deal with it. Two whole fucking months of running the canonizations learning how to pick people out and who to pit against them. Two whole fucking months of dealing with members newer than me who constantly got in my face. Two whole fucking months of refining my fighting skills with other members where I couldn't break their frail egos like I did their noses. Two whole fucking months of trying to do Johnny's job on top of my usual work, making it so that I was bone dead tired at night. On the bright side of things, I had been sleeping better, a combination of drugs, sex and sheer exhaustion.

"I like how you say my name." He teased. "Hey, do I got to pay extra for a happy ending?"

"For fuck's sake!" I groaned. "You'd really cheat on Aisha like that?"

"A hand job from a masseur is not cheating, that's just extra relaxation."

"We have very different views of cheating."

"Shit, cheating is making an emotional connection to someone other than the person you say you love not getting a physical need met." I looked over at him, he was completely serious. I will never understand men.

"So if I went and got her off, you'd have no problem? Is that what you're saying?" The smile he gave me made me regret my choice in words and had me blushing.

"As much as I'd like it she ain't into chicks." His forlorn tone was amusing. "Plus if I ever could get her to do a chick, I'd want her to do one with bigger tits. No offense."

"I hate you."

XXX

"So how's the amazing moron?" Lin asked as she handed me a drink. We were meeting up in the same bar as before, it was a safe place even if I managed to get proposed to once a meeting by a random drunk.

"Still laid up. Still doing his damn job."

"Seriously?" She gave me a look. "He's fucking playing. Go kick his ass and you'll see."

"I don't think so, I don't need any more problems with Julius."

"Julius is never going to respect you if you don't stand up to him." She glared at me. "Let me tell you about Johnny okay? Way back in grade school, he broke his wrist and couldn't write anything, so the fucking school picked me to take all his notes." She took a swig of her drink. "So there I am with this lazy ass bitch making me take his notes and mine, mind you this was the first time I met him too. Three months in, it turns out that he never broke his fucking wrist, just got tired of doing the work."

"So what did you do?"

"I broke his wrist and the school discontinued the helper program." She smiled at me. "We've been friends ever since." As much as I liked hearing about this, she was avoiding the real conversation. From what everyone had talked about of her, she was one to always get shit done but she hadn't had any luck so far in moving through the ranks of the Rollerz. She sighed as she finished off her drink. "You got that info on Donny?" I pulled out the notes Dex gave me earlier. She looked them over with a frown on her face. "You know, I've been playing this all wrong. The Rollerz aren't going to take me seriously no matter how good my skills are as long as that meathead is in charge. I've been playing at this like I was trying to go undercover in our gang."

"How do you mean?"

"If I wanted to get through the Saints, I'd come with a skill that no one else had. Be a better fighter than Johnny, smart than Dex, more of an annoying asshole than Troy. That type of thing."

"You really don't like Troy do you?" She shrugged.

"Something about him always rubbed me the wrong way. He's a nice enough guy but I just get this urge to punch his face in when he opens his mouth." I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Go the girlfriend route much to my horror. At least this Donny is going to be easy to push around. I don't whore myself out for anyone, not even the Saints."

"Why aren't we taking them on like the others? What makes them so damn special?"

"Someone's bank rolling them and we need to find out who. As soon as I find out, I'm coming home." We toasted to that.

XXX

Evening found me on my knees draped over the driver's seat as I looked at the wires hanging down in front of me. I had been at it for a while trying to figure it out from Troy's instructions, which were really not helpful, ramping my anger higher than usual. I didn't see the point in learning something like this since I had my own car now and stealing cars made me uncomfortable. I mean, I had no problem stealing clothes and things of that nature but cars were important. Stealing the wrong car meant that I could seriously fuck up a person's life and I didn't want to do that. It also didn't help that he had mentioned that crossing the wrong wires could end up frying me or the car. I didn't want to do this but Julius had made it clear that everyone in the gang had to learn and I didn't need to piss him off anymore.

"So is it safe to interact with you yet?" I didn't bother turning around to glare at him.

"You threw me over your shoulder like a sack of flour." I snapped.

"You pushed Gat down some stairs." Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him like that but it was only three damn steps. Turned out that Lin had been right and he had been milking his injury. He had been so damn cocky about the whole thing that I kind of lost it going after him. It had taken quite a few people to separate us, ending when Troy had more or less thrown me over his shoulder. It had been embarrassing as hell.

"I can't do this." I sighed. I was too frustrated and damn tired to give any more fucks for the day.

"Here, I'll show you." I started to get up only to have him kneel behind me and lean over my back. His body was hard against mine, his hands moving down my arms to my hands, his face in my neck for a moment as he inhaled

"I could have moved, you know." I grumbled as I blushed.

"Better position. Less chance of you hitting me again." His hands directed mine as he rambled on about hot-wiring. He could direct my hands all he wanted but it still didn't make any sense what so ever but at least his touch helped me calm down more. "Any of this make sense to you?"

"Not a word." His lips twitched as he twined his fingers with mine, dropping a lips on my lips. "You coming over tonight?"

"Meeting Mike tonight." He nuzzled my ear. "I always seem to wake you up when I come in late."

"That's because you bounce the bed."

"I take it the time of blood has passed." He snickered, changing the subject. He was never going to let it go. I had a habit of referring to that time of the month as the time of the blood, always said in a monotone deep voice. While it had annoyed my teachers, family and friends since they felt it was stupid, Troy was amused by it. At least someone found me funny. He had been pretty good about the whole thing, my exes always referred to that time as blow job week and made me feel miserable and used but he was sweet to me, taking me out for dinner and watching movies with me.

"Oh shut up." I blushed, only for him to smile wider at me. His hand trailed down my body, pushing up my skirt to run along my leg, fingers running lightly over my thong. "What are you doing?" I asked my breath already becoming shaky.

"No one would see us back here." He dropped a kiss on my neck, his arm going around my waist, pulling me back against him; he was hard as a rock, pressing against me in just the right way.

"Oh you are so bad for me." My hand tangled in his hair pulling his lips back to mine.

"Yeah but you love it." His smile held genuine warmth. Lately he was starting to get to me; he always had time for me even if it was for a minute just to check in on me, the way he smiled so tenderly at me and the way he made me cry out at night. Gods be damned, I was falling in love him with. Fucking hell. I hated being one of those idiots that fell in love with a guy they were fucking but I was. "So what do you say?"

"Are you sure no one will see us?" Public sex really wasn't my thing but it had been over a week since I had gotten off. The car I had been working on was in the back of the church parking lot, right next to the wall. No one would be able to see us unless they came to get into the car. His smile got wider as he knew that he had me. I reached down, blushing as I pulled my skirt up for him. His eyes were glued to me as he undid his belt, the sound of his zipper loud in the quiet of the parking lot.

"Glove box." I reached over and popped it, handing him one of the condoms that spilled out. "Good girl." In less than half a minute, he was covered and thrusting inside of me. I pushed back against him, in no mood for his teasing games, to which he backed off not letting me rub against him. It was becoming a regular thing between us, he teased while I fought for what I wanted. Oh he was so good at teasing, tormenting me until I left like I was going insane and then urging me on to the finish. He pressed his body across mine as he captured my hands, pressing them into the leather seat as he kissed me. "You like that Angel?" He teased when I let out a moan.

"Je t'aime, Troy." I gasped as he hit the sweet spot sending me over the edge. He released my hands to grip my hips as he pounded into me. He cursed as he came, his hands squeezing tight enough to hurt as he buried himself as deep as possible. The two of us collapsed against the seat, our usual post-coital cuddle was interrupted by the sound of someone calling Troy's name.

"Shit move!" I whispered frantically trying right my clothes.

"Calm down. Don't try to look like you're trying to cover up so much or it'll tip him off." Troy whispered in my ear as he straightened himself with the ease of someone who had done this before. He lay back on top of me, guiding my hands back to the wires. "See, these are the wires you cross, not those ones." He explained as he had me twist them, the car starting up.

"Why the hell are you teaching her? I'm surprised you didn't junk the car there." Julius said as he looked down at us.

"Hey, I know how to do this." Troy said quite indignantly, I bit my lip to keep my laugh to myself.

"Well to be fair you took so long doing that truck that one time, you almost got us killed." He gave me a look before ruffling my hair.

"She's right playa, you're one of the worst here." Julius looked at the two of us hard for a moment, convincing me that he knew what had been going on. I wanted the ground to swallow me up so that I didn't have to face that knowing gaze. Fortunately he didn't say anything about it as Troy helped me up and continued to ignore my existence as I left. I felt my blood run cold as I hurried out of the church. Not only had I almost gotten caught with Troy, I had been stupid enough to tell him I loved him in the heat of the moment. Fucking hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to hunnybadgerv and chyrstis for doing some betaing for me.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

_Thanks to hunnybadger and chyrstis for betaing as usual._ **  
**

_xxx_

Stupid. Stupid. Fucking dumbass imbécile. How fucking stupid could I be? Gods damn it to hell. I was such a twat opening my mouth like that. How goddamn stupid could I be to tell him I loved him? What if he got a fucking French to English dictionary? I was so fucked. Not only did I have to avoid Troy, I also had to avoid Gat like the plague since he was still being a bitch about the whole pushing him thing. I had been phoning Dex for info instead of facing either of them like a grownup.

"You been doing speed or something chica? You're bouncing the whole car with that." Julio teased as I continued to jog my knee as I watched the garage. I checked my watch again, it was only two minutes later than the last time I had checked. Waiting for the place to close down was tedious, I wanted to go and just do the job now but Lin wanted this done a certain way. She had given me very specific instructions of how tonight was going to go, meaning a nice long wait for me and Julio, who was working his way to a beat down.

"Oh shut it." I snapped and continued to wait impatiently.

"I'm just saying, you seem wound tighter a nun's snatch." I looked at him in disgust. "I noticed you've been avoiding the church since the other day your man showed up with some telling stains." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "I know it's not my business but you really should use protection unless you plan to be one of those silly girls that pop out kids every ten seconds."

"The condom caught on his fucking zipper, okay?" I huffed. "Me having kids is not going to happen." I shuddered. It had been a horribly embarrassing conversation between Troy and I, the only reason he had mentioned it was because Julius had been the one to notice. Thank gods I had already left when that happened.

"What's going on with you then? You scared people will make fun of you? You'll get ribbed but most the girls will think that he's that good and you couldn't wait and the stupid ones that don't know you will try to take him from you while the guys will just figure you're that good in the sack and congratulate him on locking you down." He shrugged. "Unless something else happened?" He wasn't going to let up was he? I sighed.

"I told him I loved him." I muttered unhappily.

"So you're avoiding him?"

"I said it in French so I don't think he knows what I said."

"I hate to break it to you, you keep avoiding him and he's gonna go find a dictionary." I bit my lip, right now that whole scenario had been the highlight of my nightmares for a while. Fortunately for me, I was able to avoid thinking about this discussion anymore as Donnie started to pull down the grill to the front door. Finally it was go time. I popped out of the car, my bat in hand. This was going to be a breeze.

XXX

"Sorry, I'm closing up shop." Donnie called out as he looked up from the register. He backed up, hitting the wall as he saw the visitors. "Oh fuck." There was a red haired giant and a tiny dude both decked out in purple, both of which were carrying bats.

"Oh yeah, you closing for good." The guy said. The giant didn't say a word, just started mashing shit and the little guy join them. He didn't have anywhere to run, he was just cornered there unable to do anything. He didn't like guns, they scared him but right now he would trade anything to get his hands on one. The giant rounded on him slamming the bat into the register, spraying parts and money all over the place.

"Oh god, why are you doing this? I'm just a mechanic!" He cried out.

"You fly the wrong colors, you die. Simple." The giant, no woman told him as she grabbed him by the shirt.

"Hey, we should do this outside; we can put him up like a scarecrow for the Rollerz." The guy chuckled.

"Sounds good to me." He struggled against the woman to no avail as she dragged him out to the parking lot. There was no one around, no one to help him. He screamed as he was thrown down to the ground. "Stop crying like a child. You are a gods be damned pathetic waste of space. The Rollerz will thank us really; we're doing them a favor." She growled at him, the look on his face terrifying him. He was going to die. She raised the bat but didn't bring it down as the bat was stanched out of her hands by an angel in blue. He had no clue who the woman was but he thanked god as she hit the giant square in the chest sending her to the ground. "You fucking whore!" The giant moaned. The angel hit the little guy in the knees sending him to the ground, he screamed in pain and the angel smiled. She turned to him then and went to help him up but was speared by the giant, taking her down to the ground. He managed to get up and didn't know what to do as the two women exchanged hits rolling on the ground like hissing cats. He finally got up the courage to pull the giant off by her red hair which the angel took advantage of by kicking her in the chest. Furious and fast she kicked the giant in the ribs, a growl coming from her.

"Stay the fuck down."

"Fuck you L-" She kicked again and this time it seemed like the giant passed out. The angel motioned to him and they ran to her car and drove off.

"Thank god you showed up. Thank you so much."

"You got a lighter?" She asked unconcerned with his rambling. "Thanks." She light up a cig and inhaled. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm just glad you showed up. I'm Donnie." She just looked at his hand until he dropped it.

"Lin."

"Thanks for saving me, if you need me to do any work on your car, I won't charge you." At his words her eyes narrowed and she slammed on the brakes and since he wasn't wearing his belt he hit the dash pretty hard.

"I'm going to say this for the last fucking time. I do all my own fucking work on my car. I don't need any more goddamn condescending bullshit from any fucking man in this gang you got me?" She said practically against his lips as she gripped him by his shirt, her cute nose pressing against his as a fire in her eyes burned at him.

"Yeah, I got it. I didn't mean to assume." She let him go and started driving again. "I never knew there were any women in the gang that actually knew shit about cars."

"Yeah well that's because no one here is willing to give me a chance to prove myself."

"How about for saving my life, I introduce you to my friend Joseph, he's actually in charge somewhat and he'd do anything for me really." She gave him a look and graced him with a smile.

"For a moment I thought you were going to ask me out and I would have had to throw you out of my car." She smirked and he felt butterflies flutter inside.

XXX

"Jesus what happened to your tits?" I glared at the speaker in question. Sitting here with ice pack on my chest while Julio had one on his knees and the first thing Johnny asked was about my breasts.

"Lin happened." I groaned. Even talking was painful at the moment. I hadn't known that they were capable of hurting so bad. I leaned my head back against the pew I had collapsed on; Julio was laying on the food, having given up the ghost of being able to walk any further. Why the fuck didn't she pull her punches? My breasts hurt, my kidneys hurt and my head hurt. I probably looked like a mess to boot.

"She kneecapped me. Doesn't anyone care about me? I'm dying here." He whined.

"Stop being such a bitch and walk it off." Gat said prodding him with a boot.

"Oh look who's talking, you had to be thrown down some stairs before you decided to get off your ass." I countered getting pissed at him.

"You wanna go? I owe you for that shit anyhow." He cracked his knuckles ready and raring for a fight.

"Gat my lady parts hurt too much to think. You let me crack you in the nuts a few times and then we'll talk." He grinned at me, the tension between us seeming to dissipate.

"Come on, let's go get dinner and we'll talk over the plans." He offered me a hand and a smile. I couldn't help but to smile back and took his hand. He pulled me up and looped his arm around my shoulders. It was a friendly position but it felt to intimate with him as my heart raced.

"Yo can I come?" Julio piped up.

"Grown ups only." Gat teased him.

XXX

"Shit that's why I never take Lin on, sugar tits." Gat said as he shook his head.

"Look how was I suppose to know she was going to do all that? I just kind of lost it when she hit me."

"Probably looked good for the idiot, so no harm. She might sock you the next time she sees you but you're probably good." He informed me as he stuffed his face with pizza. It offended me on some level that at a Chinese buffet he'd eat pizza of all things.

"It hurts to breathe and my shirt feels like the inside is sandpaper. She better worry about me hitting her." I said as I popped another Chinese doughnut in my mouth. I had lost track of how many I had already eaten, just knew that I had emptied out three trays of them and had threatened someone with a spoon when they tried to steal them from me.

"She was always serious about her acting. Remember this one time in drama class this boy wouldn't do the kissing scene with her so she beat him so bad he was in traction and the understudy was too scared to not do the kiss. Man, I'll be glad when she comes home. Feels fucking weird not having her scrawny ass around, you know sugar tits?" I had let the remark go the first time but I couldn't anymore.

"Seriously, what the fuck Johnny?"

"What? You got so much sugar from those things, I doubt there's one spot on your tits that isn't covered in sugar." He smirked at me. "You know, I think that's going to be nickname for you. Sugar Tits. It has a nice ring to it."

"I hate you." There was no way he was going to keep calling me that.


	32. When Saints Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the wonderful duo of hunnybadger and chyrstis for betaing as usual.

** Chapter 32: When Saints Die **

****

Life was settling into a comforting pattern as of late, working with the gang, planning shit out with the guys and end the day fucking Ang. With Johnny still not up to par and Dex focusing on the drug operation, things had been going slow lately meaning there was too much free time to relax and think. He’d be enjoying himself more, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was going to end up screwing them all. He tried not to think of it, if he let his conscience get the best of him he’d lose too much. He’d only think of the consequences of the future on the days he meet with his handler. He preferred to concentrate on the present.

 

Speaking of relaxing, one of his favorite things lately was crashing at Ang’s place. It didn’t matter what time he showed up, she welcomed him with a smile and open legs. She was just as hungry for contact as him, ready at a moment’s notice. He loved overwhelming her until she forgot her English. As it was, he was starting to spend more time at her place than his, if only because he knew his place was bugged and he didn’t need anyone investigating this relationship. He liked what he had going on. He loved the fact that she had stayed true to her word, keeping gang business in the gang, she did not talk about anything that happened with the Saints while she was here with him. Her place was effectively a Saints free zone, it was the one place he could come and forget about everything for a while.  He could lose himself in her for a while, or hell, do normal couple shit. She didn’t harass him with a million questions like his last girl nor did she badger him wanting to know what he was doing. If he stayed at her place and left in the middle of the night, she’d only tell him to be careful.

 

It was a shame she had integrated so well into the Saints, when the case came to a close, she would be caught up in it. The impression she was leaving was too big and he wouldn’t be surprised if Julius named her a lieutenant at some point. Especially since he felt Lin was moving too fast, she was going to get her cover blown. She was giving too info to Ang who would wreck shit for her in ways that made it obvious someone was leaking intel, the Rollerz were going to catch on soon. He just had that feeling. He didn’t like it... He pushed the thoughts away, deciding to deal with today instead of the future. Ang was sound asleep, her head resting on his chest as she curled against him in sleep. He ran his fingers over her cheek, tucking back her curly hair behind her ear; it still surprised him that she was naturally redheaded. She stirred, nuzzling his chest before opening her eyes and smiling sleepily at him.

 

“Morning.” She pressed a kiss to his lips, drawing back her eyes half-mast as she looked him over. “I like waking up next to you.” Oh and how he knew it. He pulled her close, running his hand down her back. She whimpered pushing him onto his back, his erection hard against her ass as she climbed on him not yet ready to take him in. He held her legs down as she leaned over and searched for a condom in the nightstand. “Gods be damned.” She sighed.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“You never picked up condoms. I told you to pick them up.” She slapped his chest. He squeezed her thighs in retaliation, making her moan as he felt her getting wetter.

 

“You really need to start picking them up when we’re out.” He chided, staring her down as her skin darkened with embarrassment.

 

“Non.” She shook her head. He wondered if she was ever going to tell him about the arrest. He knew it was the reason she didn’t want to pick them up and he didn’t think denying her sex in order to get her to pick them up would get him anywhere except having a case of blue balls. He crooked a finger at her, fisting her hair when she obeyed so that he could hold her in place as he ravished her mouth. Her nails dug into his chest as she rubbed herself against him. “I have a doctor’s appointment next week, I’m getting an IUD.” She gasped against his lips.

 

“Are you sure they work? No offense, kids are the last thing I need.” She glared at him, nipping at his chin before pushing off of him. She sat in the middle of the bed her eyes downcast and hands in lap.

 

“I never want kids; I’d just end up screwing them up.” The words, ‘just like my parents’, hung in the air between them.

 

Even after all this time together, she wouldn’t open up about her family or what she was running from and ever since that interaction with her sister, she refused to even talk about her. He didn’t know how to handle this conversation; it wasn’t like he wanted to encourage her having kids but she wasn’t as fucked up as she thought she was. Shit just the thought of her having a kid brought to mind a red haired terror that would tear his world apart, more so than its mother had. Not the idea of having any kids, not just with her, was repugnant and something he never wanted. Problem was a lot of women that he was interested in avoided fixed guys. It seemed like all the women he wanted families. “Aisha told me about them, they’re completely safe and we won’t have this problem anymore.”

 

The idea of not having to use rubbers was appealing; fuck knew he was going through them by the truck load. Hell, he hadn’t been fucking this much since he was a teen and he had been an idiot, he was really surprised he didn’t have a bastard or two out there. Plus maybe with seeing this doctor, she’d finally find out what was causing her that pain that limited their fun.

 

“Plus I need to talk to the doctor about the sensitivity issue.” She blushed. In the last month and a half, her breasts had been more sensitive than ever, the two of them had just chalked it up to the hit with the baseball bat at first but it shouldn’t have still been bothering her after all this time.

 

“I don’t know about that, I mean, I love how easily you squeal.” He teased his hand going to her breast, making her bite her lip to keep from whimpering as he pulled her close so that he could tongue her nipple.

 

She threaded her hands through his hair; a quick peek up let him see that expression on her face of bliss. He pushed her down on the bed as he played with her tits, his fingers moving down her body, teasing pressure against her thigh. She whimpered as her hips moved of their own accord, begging for his touch. He smiled down at her as he rose up. “Go check my jacket, I think I have one there.”

 

“I swear if you got me all worked up…” She threatened him as she bounced off the bed and hurried over to his jacket, searching the pockets like a druggie looking for her next fix. Distracting her with sex always seemed to work, the darkness in her eyes having vanished at his touch. Part of him felt guilty like he should try to talk about it like adults. Shit it wasn’t like they really talked much about feelings and stuff. Every time she woke up with a nightmare, she wouldn’t talk about it, just ask him to hold her. He didn’t push her, he didn’t need to feel more than he already did, it was going to be hard enough to leave her as it was when this was all over.  

 

“Thank the Gods.” He smiled at the rapture in her voice as she found a roll of them. She ripped off one and hurried back to the bed, tossing it to him. “Suit up, lover-boy.”

 

“Hey, I’m not a machine, how about some wooing first.” He teased her and much to his delight she pushed him down on the bed, curling up at his hip, pressing kisses to his chest, her hands slowly moving down his body. She didn’t waste any time as she took him in hand running her tongue over him, such a talented little tongue at that. She took him down as far as she could without choking, taking the condom out of his hand. He relished the way she put it on him, taking it in her mouth and then placing it on him without having to use her hands. Each time she did it she had a look of pleased victory making him wonder how long it took her to learn such a trick. He helped her balance as she straddled him and sank down on him. She bit her lip, eyes closed, her hands flexing like a cat’s as she took him in. She rode him with leisure, not in a hurry this morning, drawing it out which was more than fine with him. It was around the time when her rhythm started to became faster that a phone started ringing. “Fuck that’s you.”

 

“Shit, that’s Lin’s ring. I have to answer.” She practically cried. He held her in place as she leaned over to pick up her phone. Had it been anyone other than Lin he probably would have urged her to continue. She answered the phone, bracing one arm on his chest as she talked. “Can I be there in an hour?” She said, along with a whole lot of ‘uh-huh’s. She glared at the phone after she hung up, tossing it back on the nightstand. “We only have ten to finish.” She pressed her lips to his as she proceeded to take full advantage of that time.

 

XXX

 

Troy winced as a Rollerz flew over the hood banging over the roof as Johnny ran them over.

 

“Ten points.” Johnny laughed as he didn’t stop the car.

 

“Nah, only five, you jerked the wheel to the left. Ten is only if you can keep going straight when they roll.” It was strange to think that a little over three years ago he would have had problems with patrolling with Gat.

 

“Fuck man, I’m bored as balls. Julius still has me on pussy duty and Lin’s taking her sweet ass time.”

 

“No, she’s moving too fast. Undercover work is supposed to take a while. They are going to connect her to the Saints, especially since she keeps calling in Ang, who is pretty fucking recognizable.”

 

“Speaking of that, how’s that shit work between the two of you anyhow? I mean, you’re her cover so you can’t be seen screwing around. She plays a good cover but you can tell she doesn’t know shit about sex. You should have seen her reaction when I explained fucking rubbers to her.” Troy glared at the laughing Saint. He really shouldn’t have told him that she was gay but it really was too late to take it back.

 

“The birds and the bees Gat style.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I can only imagine how red her face got.”

 

“Nowhere as red as yours.” Gat gave him a look. He looked away from the Saint his face already turning red. “Now you’re thinking about it. Can’t blame you, every motherfucker wants me.” Before he could get a word in, Gat’s cell started ringing. "The fuck, Ang, do you have any idea how much collect costs? I'll call you back."

 

“Why the hell’s she calling you?”

 

“Probably lost her phone or some shit. Where in the fuck did she even find a payphone?” He called her back. He was kind of annoyed that she had called Gat instead of him, after all she was his girl, not Gat’s. After a moment, Gat slammed on the brakes. “Angelique! The hell is going on? Look hold on, I'll be right there. Fuck, shit. Is there any way to track her phone? I think she passed out.”

 

“The fuck you mean you think she passed out?” Troy pulled out his phone and started up the tracking app he had on his. All of the Saint’s phones were rigged with a GPS unit that worked independently of the phones and could be tracked at all times. He entered in Ang’s phone and waited as it spit out where she was. “Down at the pier by 5th and Gear St.” Gat stepped on the gas and for once he didn’t give two shits about the people who didn’t get out of the way. He didn’t even mind when Gat’s car hit triple digits. In less than ten minutes they had made the trip half way across the city and found her. She was curled on her side in the middle of the sidewalk; the payphone she had been using was making that noise landlines always made when they were off the hook for too long. He jumped out of the car before Gat had fully stopped the car and was by her side. Her hands were clasped to a bloody wound below her belly button, her skin was clammy as he touched her, the usual darkness starting to grey.

 

“Oh shit, is she still alive?”

 

“Fuck you, she’s not going to die damn it.” His yelling had her eyes fluttering open and a moan coming out of her lips. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” He reassured her as he managed to pick her up. For being so tall, she wasn’t as heavy as one would think, he couldn’t help thinking as he cradled her in his arms. Gat opened the door for him and he managed to fit the two of them in the front seat.

 

“Shit, where’s Lin?” Gat asked.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Ang was saying faintly, tears leaking out of her eyes as they fluttered closed.

 

“Stay with me Angel, come on don’t go to sleep now. Fucking drive Gat.” He snapped.

 

“We’re going to have to hit St. Marta’s, our hospital is too far away.” He noted as blood continued to soak out.

 

“We don’t control that hospital, fuck.”

 

“I’m sure things will be fine.” Gat tried to reassure him.

 

XXX

 

Today was not going like he had planned, then again who the hell could have planned for this? Lin was dead, her body had been fished out of the water just over an hour ago and Ang was still in surgery after seven hours. In the beginning, half the gang had waited for news; they slowly trickled away until it was just him and Dex. The lone TV in the waiting room was playing infomercials this time of night. Neither of them said anything, they just sat there.

 

“Something’s wrong.” Troy couldn’t help saying after watching an infomercial on the wonders of some weight loss drug for the third time. Before Dex could say anything, his cell phone started ringing, he cursed when he checked the caller ID. “I got to take this.” He answered the phone and told the person to hold on. As he was leaving the waiting room an announcement of a “code grey” was made, forcing him to dodge several nurses. Walking swiftly he entered the bathroom and checked to see if he was alone. “Yeah, what?” He snapped.

 

“You missed your check in.” He swore silently. With everything that had happened, he forgot he was supposed to meet up with Mike tonight.

 

“Yeah, sorry.”

 

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it Bradshaw, we have these check-ins for a reason. Get your ass over to the diner pronto.”

 

“I can’t.” He took a deep breath, fighting the urge to light up a cig. “The vic they pulled from the river was Lin, you know, one of the lieutenants? And I haven’t gotten word on Ang yet.”

 

“Thought she was just a piece of ass Bradshaw? You having feelings for your little banger?” He held his tongue, not even bothering to explain shit to Mike, he never fucking got all the work he had to do for this shit. “You get your ass here soon or I’ll have you pulled for breaking protocols.”

 

“You want to risk almost four years of work because of one missed meeting? You got to be shitting me, Mike. Look, I’ll meet you in the morning. I’m too far in this shit to let a greedy fuck like you fuck it up. I will go over you, do not test me.” He snarled hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath to calm himself in the end he took out a cig and lit up. The nicotine raced through him, soothing him in a way that only it could. He was on his third smoke when someone banged on the locked door and yelled his name. He nodded to Dex as he exited.

 

“She got moved up to a room. I’m going to head out, I got business I need to take care of.” He thanked Dex and headed to her room.

 

He hadn’t been prepared for the sight of her. It wasn’t the first time he’d visited someone like this but she looked worse for wear. Ang’s skin was pale, there was a bag of blood hooked up to an IV, her face was splotchy, she had obviously been crying. His brow furrowed confused when he saw the restraints on the bed. It wasn’t standard to tie someone down as far as he knew otherwise Gat would have a pair set aside just for himself.

 

“Had me worried there for a bit.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, her tear soaked eyes meeting his. He took her hand in his and at his touch her tears intensified. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“I really need you to hold me right now.” Her voice was shaky, so too was the hand he was holding. He leaned back to see if any of the nurses could see him before he undid her restraints. He climbed into the bed carefully taking her in his arms.

 

“Hey now, all this for one shot? I never thought you’d be such a girl about it.” He tried teasing her as he ran his hand over her arm. She buried her head against his neck as she sobbed. Shit, she had probably watched Lin die right in front of her. He held her while she cried, rubbing her back and whispering comforting nonsense to her. Her cries eventually stopped and she quieted pulling away from him slightly, so that she could tug her hospital gown up.

 

 “Ang what the hell?”

 

“Look what that motherfucker did to me.” She hissed as she revealed a stitched wound that was practically hip to hip on her lower belly.

 

“Holy shit.” He said softly. “Don’t worry, we’ll get the motherfucker that did this to you.” He assured her. “Did you get a look at the shooter?”

 

“This isn’t from Sharp, the doctor did this.” The tears were back again.

 

“Shh… it’s okay, whatever it is, we’ll deal with this.” She shook her head.

 

“That pain I always had and my bad periods? I had endometrial cancer.” Well shit. That hadn’t been something he had expected to be behind the cause.

 

“You said had, so it’s all gone?”

 

“Yeah, along with my uterus. That motherfucking doctor used it as an excuse to sterilize a drain on the city’s precious resources.” She hissed as tears rolled down her cheeks. “He had me tied down so he could enjoy my reaction; he just stood there and smirked so proud of himself and what he did to me.” Her hands gripped his shirt. “He laughed in my face when I started crying.” The look on her face was so lost. He didn’t have words for this. He could only hold her until she fell asleep, numb in shock at what had been done.

 

XXX

 

Persistence always paid off, just like his mother always said. Dex couldn’t help thinking as he sat in the parking lot of a shitty little diner, munching on some fries as he watched his good old buddy Troy meet with an older man. He knew he’d find out Troy’s little secret sooner or later, that shitty haircut, that attitude everything about him had screamed cop since the beginning. Now he knew he was right and wasn’t being paranoid. A smile curled his lips, now he just had to figure out the best way to use this to his advantage, after all it wouldn’t do good to tip his hand early.

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Troy liked learning new things, it was something he always enjoyed even as a kid. Thanks to his job, he was always learning interesting things: how to hot-wire a car, how to conduct a robbery without getting killed, where to buy the best ammo, fun things like that. Unfortunately, the last week he had been learning things that he could have done without. Like how Ang became quiet and stopped eating when she was depressed or how horrible of a patient she was.

Every day he had to push his way past nurses who told him she didn't want the first initial outrage from Ang, she had gone quiet, she wouldn't talk to him or even look at him. Just kind of laid there staring at the wall curled up as much as possible. He didn't have the words to comfort her, what exactly could he say?  _Sorry your doctor ripped out your uterus? Sorry you had a massive invasion of your trust done to you?_ So he just sat there and tried to comfort her, he spent a good amount of time threatening nurses who didn't do their jobs and trying to distract her to no avail, though he did get a stubborn smile at one partially bad joke.

Three days was all the hospital kept her for, which considering the quality of care, it was probably a good thing she was released so soon. He glanced over at Ang in the passenger seat. She hadn't said a word since she had gotten in the car, just stared out the window as he drove. He clicked on the radio, tired of the silence, his fingers drumming on the wheel to the beat of the music. Halfway through the song he felt her staring at him, correction, when he looked she was glaring at him.

"What?"

"Do you know why Petty sings that?" Her voice was a little rougher than usual from the lack of use.

"It's based on the break up between Nicks and Walsh." He thought about elaborating further as judging by most of the music she listened to she probably didn't know who they were. Actually he was surprised she even knew who Tom Petty was.

"It's so you don't have to sing it."

"What?" He looked at her confused.

"You fucking suck so shut up." She snapped. "I feel like my ears are going to start bleeding at any second with that voice of yours." He smothered the smile that wanted to come out. She almost sounded normal.

"Oh like you sound any better." He teased before returning to singing along.

"I swear to the gods I will shove the dash up your ass in a second." She growled. He didn't get a chance of testing her as he pulled up to her place. As soon as he was parked, she got out, slamming the door closed before he even had his door open. He jogged over to the other side where she was leaning on the door; he knew she was still in pain, her color leaving her, her jaw clenched and the skin around her eyes pinched.

"Come on, let me help you."

"I'm fine." He gave her a look before gently taking her arm and helping her slowly to the door. Despite her objection she was clinging to him as they went down the stairs. "I'm fine now, you can leave." She said as they walked in and he deposited her on the bed.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to go get us some food. You haven't eaten much. You want a fun bag or something else?"

"No, just go away." She curled up on the bed and turned away from him. He sighed and ran his hand over his hair as he looked at her.

"Angel-"

"Just go away. There's no point to us anymore." She said as she grabbed the creepy bear she kept on her bed and cuddled up with it. After a moment, he took a seat next to her and ran his hand over her arm.

"What is that suppose to mean?" He asked softly.

"I can't have sex for two months and even after that, the doctor was happy to point out, I won't be able to enjoy sex anymore. So there's no point to this relationship anymore, just leave me alone."

"Come here." He said, pulling her up and into his arms. She clung to him, her face buried in his neck, her tears tickling as they ran down his skin. "If I only cared about fucking you, I wouldn't have waited until you were legal."

"We did other stuff." She stubbornly pointed out, making him smile.

"Angel, just relax. We'll get through this. I'm not about to leave you okay?" He wiped away some of her tears and kissed her gently. She clung to him, her hands going through his hair, pulling him closer as she turned the kiss rough. She whimpered as she moved against him, forcing him to get control of himself and break the kiss. He was panting as he rested his forehead against hers, tears still leaking out of her eyes but at a slower pace.

"Lay down." He was surprised at the sudden command. She gave him a push when he didn't react and not being prepared, he went down as she rose above him. She worked frantically on the buttons on his shirt, pressing kisses to his skin, slapping his hands when he tried to stop her.

"Ang-" Whatever he was going to say was lost to him as she sank her teeth into his nipple. Fucking hell, he had never thought something like that could turn him on. She licked away the sting and continued down. He tried to think past his cock as she unbuckled his belt, her lips distracting him from forming coherent thought. Her eyes rolled up to met his as she pushed his pants off his hips and damn him, he couldn't stop himself from lifting up to help her.

"Je le ferai tellement bien que vous ne me quittera." She whispered against his skin as she held him in hand. He wanted to tell her to stop but considering the teeth marks from the last time, he didn't dare. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she licked and lapped at his cock. Fuck, she was good at it. He hesitantly reached out to cup her head as she worked, taking him in as much as she could without gagging.

"Fuck, Angel…" She pressed his hands against the bed, trapping him, the pleasure taking away his ability to think clearly and stop her. She didn't back off or tease but sucked him good and swallowed him down as he came with a curse. She kissed her way back up until she was laying in his arms, which felt as heavy as lead as he wrapped him around her. "Jesus Angel."

"S'il vous plaît ne me quitte pas Troy." She said softly as she cuddled against him. He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ears, his good mood leaving him as he noticed the tears returned.

"Not fair doing that when I can't return the favor." He tried teasing her since comfort didn't seem to be working.

"Then you'll just have to stick around to repay me." She said softly, the smile too fragile for his liking.

"Angel, you didn't have to-" He tried to put into words what he was thinking but she stopped him with a kiss.

"Je t'aime, espèce d'idiot."She whispered against his lips.

"I got like maybe two words out of that." He said after a moment causing her to laugh.

"You need to learn French, amant garçon."

"Now that one I know." He pushed her hair out of her face. "We'll get through this together, okay?"

XXX

Ang almost always whimpered in her sleep so he didn't pay much attention to the little sounds she made. Still, he couldn't help soothing his hand over her back causing her to quiet. She was completely out of it having taken the pain meds he had gotten off of Dex during his food run. Pain meds he had been forced to get for her since that shithead doctor hadn't given her anything for it.

That doctor, that fucking doctor that had made his girl cry and left him in a turmoil of emotions. He didn't know how to feel about everything that was going on which pissed him off even more. Part of him was angry, part of him was relieved which made him feel guilty. He shouldn't feel like he dodged a bullet when Ang had gotten hurt so badly but fuck he couldn't help it.

His cell vibrated breaking him out of his thoughts.

**[SMS] HURRY YOUR BITCH ASS UP**

He smiled, Johnny was always straight to the point. He put the paperwork back in its folder and argued with himself on whether to leave it or not for her to see. It was going to bother him for a while, even though he had always held the same stance on the subject and he'd move on but he had no idea how she would take it. He looked back at her sleeping form. She was so much younger than him in many ways but she had insisted she had the same stance as him. He left the folder on the counter, hoping that she would take it better than him.

"How's she doing?" Johnny asked as he got in the car. It smelled of cleaner and he was glad to not see any blood stains remaining from the other day.

"You get everything I asked for?" He avoided the question, focusing on what he needed to do. Gat reached in back and tossed him a bag full of pill bottles. Each and every one of those bottles contained highly addictive narcotics and all prescribed by the same doctor, the very doctor that had been stupid enough to fuck with his girl.

"I don't get why we ain't just killing this motherfucker." They drove to the doctor's home address, helpfully provided by a disgruntled nurse.

Death would be too good for that asshole. He wanted more than that. He wanted this doctor crippled, his livelihood taken away, his happiness and his freedom. He wanted that doctor to remember exactly why he was like that every single day of his life. He had a rage inside of him that he never thought possible. "He made her cry." He said finally. His fellow Saint gave him a look of understanding but he knew Gat only thought he understood.

XXX

Johnny could tell that Troy was starting to buy his cover. It was to be expected really. You live with something fake you're telling everyone is real, you start to believe in it after a while. It wasn't good, even if was for a good cause. Either he was Ang's beard or he was her real man and judging from the way he pummeled that doctor, in his mind he was the real deal.

"You got something to say?" Troy said as he lit up a cig, his hands still shaking, covered with blood. Oh he had a lot he could say and normally would if it wasn't for the fact he'd known Troy for what, four years or so and his behavior was completely out of character for him but then again that little taunt of the doctor's.

He had watched him work that doctor over with a fury, having to pull him back twice from choking him with bare hands when the doc taunted him. Hell, after that last taunt Johnny had been tempted just to kill the fucker himself. The doc would never work again, fucker wouldn't even walk again and he knew that prison wasn't going to be fun for him either. If the fucker survived, he'd find himself stuck in a system that wouldn't give a shit about a crippled drug addict.

"You trying to cop my style now? That was some serious me shit back there." He tried to joke. He wanted to ask him about what had been said but he figured Troy would bring it up when he was ready.

"Figured it always works for you." He looked away and finished off his cig. It always amused him how fast he went through smokes. "I get what you mean now about getting off on the violence." He wasn't positive because of the dark but he was sure that Troy was blushing as he spoke.

"Fuck yeah, got to say you even got me going with that performance of yours." He teased, loving how he blushed when he got flustered.

"Want me to take care of that for you?" He paused with the beer halfway to his mouth, his cock already excited while his brain tried to process actually being propositioned. He took a swig of his beer before answering him.

"You going to be a bitch and avoid me for three months again?" Troy's way of answering was to grip his nape and pull him in for a kiss. Hands threaded through hair as he pushed him against the hood of the car, he could feel him straining against his jeans. Fuck he'd hadn't been kidding. He was a good kisser, that goatee of his tickled, making him wonder how it'd feel to have him suck 'im off. If he wasn't so damn skittish about getting it on with guys (as far as he knew he was the only one Troy had ever hooked up with), he have Troy blow him here and now but he'd probably end up bailing. Sometimes Johnny hated confused bi boys, but then again they usually were good fucks if you didn't give them time to think. "Stay." Johnny growled breaking the kiss so he could run over and search the glove box for a rubber and lube.

Quick as a bunny he was back kissing a panting and eager Troy, his hands going to his jeans, struggling with the annoying button fly jeans that only he wore.

"Jesus Christ." Troy gasped against his lips as he took him in hand.

"Just Johnny will do." His brilliant snark was met with a groan that had nothing to do with the cock in his hand. "Oh fuck you, that was funny."

"That's why I'm trying to get you to do." Troy took the rubber from him, impressing him as he worked it on him without blushing, making his cock throb.

"Shut the fuck up and turn around." He snapped making him laugh as he did. The sight of him lounging bare assed on his Viper was something he never thought he'd get shy bi over here to do. "You know if it wasn't for the fact we fucked before, I'd swear you were a virgin." He couldn't help but tease as he worked a lube covered finger into him. "Or are we still not talking about that?"

"Stop fucking talking and fuck me, I don't want to think about anything right now." Troy's voice wobbled as he hit that spot that he knew made him quake. He knew now that he was being used but he got it. On the plus side, he thought as he pushed in slowly and gently, he was getting all the upsides here. His hands gripped his hips as he moved slowly waiting for him to loosen up a bit. He could barely see Troy's reflection in the windshield but he could make out the blissed out expression as he started to work him over, his fingers flexing on the hood for something to grip, his head bowing as Johnny wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts. "Ahh fuck…." Troy let out a cry as he came, his whole body quaking with his release.

Johnny didn't give him time to recover, pumping away, careful though as to not hurt him. The cry Troy made as he buried himself balls deep made everything perfect as he came. He leaned on him, trying to catch his breath, his hand gently stroking his stomach before pulling out. He tossed the condom over the ridge and cracked another beer as he waited for him to recover.

"So, I quiet your thoughts like you wanted?" He asked when Troy finished straightening his clothes and grabbing a beer for himself. The heavy sigh was answer enough. "Man, you are so fucked."

"Excuse me?" Troy was doing his puffed up bit he did when he was caught off guard.

"Ang, you're fucking in love with her. Man, how fucking stupid can you be to fall for a lezzie?" He probably should have put it a little less bluntly but he knew how Troy was, if you didn't call him straight out on his shit he would avoid the questions and change the subject.

"I'm not in love with her." Was the huffy reply, with definitely told him he was.

"You're still thinking about her after getting fucked by me. If that ain't love I don't know what is."

"Yeah because you're thinking about Aisha right now." He snapped.

"Hell, she's going to love hearing about this." He smiled at the blush that was spreading over his cheeks.

"She knows?!"

"Fuck yeah, she knows. I don't hide shit from her and she loves hearing about it." And then making him pay for every little indiscretion but Troy didn't need to know about that.

"Yeah well, I'm not in love with her." Troy insisted stubbornly.

XXX

His hand shook from tiredness as he pushed the key in the lock. He didn't want to think about what Gat said. He didn't want to think about what the doctor said. He didn't want to fucking think. He just wanted to go inside and sleep with the smell of cinnamon in his nose and warm arms wrapped around him.

As he pushed open the door he knew he wasn't going to get any of that. All the lights were on, smashed on the floor were plates and glasses and every little breakable Ang owned. He drew his gun as a precaution as he entered. Dread coiled in his stomach, his mind playing horrible scenarios of how this happened.

"Ang?" His voice came out squeakier than he liked and he heard a muffled sob as a reply. She was sitting in the corner against the cabinets, her hands bloody as they gripped her knees, her forehead resting on them. He was careful as he stepped over the mess, not needing to fall and crouched down by her. "What happened?" She raised her tear soaked face to look at him, the angry look on her face made him nervous.

"I fucked everything up like I always do. Why shouldn't my home reflect how much I destroy?" Her accent was thicker than he had ever heard it before. "I was pregnant, I could have had a family." Tears rained down her cheeks.

"I thought you didn't want kids." He blurted out much to his horror when he realized what he said.

"Not wanting kids and not having them are two different things. I'm only eighteen, a lot could have changed but now I will always be alone. No family, just me, like it has always been." She snarled at him. "Why are you even here?"

"Angel, I-" He was at a loss for words, not that she gave him much of a chance to come up with something to say as she pushed his hands away from her.

"Get out." She yelled. He stood unsure what to do but didn't need her to push him onto the glass under his heel. She followed his movement, not flinching as glass sliced her feet. He didn't retreat and instead threw her over his shoulder, making her scream what were no doubt obscenities in French at him as he carried her over to the bed and tossed her on it. She came at him again, her hands in claws ready to tear his face off. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her down to the bed.

"Ang knock it the fuck off." He yelled in her face only to have her yell more at him, the tears coming so fast, not at all like the movies. He buried his face against her neck, hugging her to him as best as he could with her trying to fight him. After a while she quit struggling against him and he tentatively let her go and raised his head to look at her.

"Just go away." She said not looking at him.

"Hey, I thought we covered this earlier, I'm not leaving you." He turned her face towards him, his thumb brushing over her lip, only to have her slap his hand away.

"Part of me always wanted a family of my own, people who would love me and care about me. My own was always so fucked up and now I'll never have anything." She blinked away more tears.

"You have the gang." Which he was going to end up destroying at some point. "You have me." He said softly ignoring the guilt.

"But you don't love me."

"No, I don't." He said after a moment. He cared for her no mistake about it but love? Love wasn't on the table with a relationship with someone like her. She was part of the gang and would go down with the gang if she didn't get herself killed before that. Once he was finished with this case, he'd walk away from all this and never look back again and that included her. "Ang, we've only been dating for a couple of months." He started not sure where he was going with this.

"Can you please just go?" She said softly. He reached out to cup her cheek but dropped his hand, it was the please in that soft begging tone that did it. He wanted to tell her what was going through his head, how she was slowly digging herself into his life like a tick he couldn't get off and how the only thing going through his head was the image of a child that would have looked like the two of them. But he didn't. He stood up and walked out of the apartment. He leaned against the door as he heard her click the lock and felt like part of him had just been lost.

Translations:

"I will do so well that you will never leave me."

"Please do not leave me Troy . "

" I love you , you idiot . "


	34. The Downward Spiral

Chapter 34: The downward Spiral

Trigger warnings: This chapter has serious issues of depression and suicide.

Thanks to Chy and Hunny for beating as always!

XXX

I was going to get ants. I hate ants. I stared at the mess that was my place and sighed. I should clean. I turned over instead, moving my laptop so I would only see the plain wall behind it and clicked play. The knocking on the door interrupted Bruce as he was laughing with a mounted deer. I sighed and hit pause, wondering if it was Troy again. I had lost track of time, not even knowing what day it was really. He had been here about four times, though I'm only sure it was him because he yelled through the door since I didn't answer. It could have been four times in one day or over a month, I really wasn't sure anymore. I didn't care anymore. I woke up, popped a pain pill and usually went back to sleep only to repeat the pattern. I laid there and contemplated not bothering to get up like all the other times.

"Yo! I know you're in there, I can hear that big chinned motherfucker laughing." Surprisingly the voice belonged not to Troy but to Johnny. I sighed knowing from the banging that he wasn't going to leave. "Goddamn, tell me you got a rotting body in here and that smell isn't you." He grimaced as I stood blinking in the bright light.

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice cracking with the dryness of it. He brushed by me, his nose crinkled up in disgust as he looked around.

"Fuck Ang, you take a little vacation from cleaning as well as the Saints?" I wrapped my arms around myself as he pushed one of the pizza boxes out of his path. I had been living on takeout; I had nothing to cook with since I wrecked everything. He turned and looked me over and shook his head before coming back towards me. "Shit that smell is you. Go get a shower, we're going out." I glared at him for the remark.

"Get out Gat, you're not my boss." He stared at me for a moment before grabbing my arm and pushing me into the bathroom. He turned on the water and shoved me under it. I gasped at the coldness but my body still felt heavy from the medication making it harder to fight back against him. Water poured down my face and soaked my hair and nightie. I struggled with the dials to turn on the hot water on and pushed my hair out of my face as I glared at him.

"Now that wasn't hard was it?" He smirked at me as he finally let me go but made no move to leave.

"Get out."

"You going to get washed?"

"Yes." I said through gritted teeth.

"I'll be outside. You come out not smelling like you fucked a Cinnabon and I'll wash you myself. Got it?" He finally left me in piece. I stripped off my sodden nightie and washed up. It took two shampooings to get my hair back to its normal state and more times than I really liked to get my skin back to smelling of its normal cinnamon. I was glad that I had gotten electrolysis done as my sixteenth birthday gift otherwise my legs and pits would have looked like a jungle with my lack of care lately. I sighed and smoothed lotion over my skin, my stomach growling as I did. I felt weak and tired as I left the bathroom wearing clean clothes for the first time in however. Johnny was leaning against the counter, texting on his phone when I came out. He looked me over and nodded. "You done pouting?"

"I wasn't pouting." I told him angrily.

"Then what the fuck were you doing?"

"I have too much on my mind."

"Like what?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I watched Lin die right in front of me, then I have that doctor tear me apart for shits and giggles. I would have been safe if I had gone to a doctor sooner about my health problems. I could have saved Lin. I could have done a lot more." I yelled at him. The way he was brushing aside my problems was annoying. "I could have-" He slapped me right across the face. It wasn't a small stinging slap either, it was one that made me take a few steps back and made my ears ring. "What the hell Johnny?!" He moved to slap me again, this time I blocked it. "The fuck!"

"Why didn't you block it the first time?"

"How the hell did I know you were going to be an asshole?" I snapped rubbing my cheek.

"Exactly. You see a lot of shit in hindsight. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen to you or Lin…" He licked his lip in what looked like nervousness before adding, "Or your baby." I looked away from him, unable to help it as I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

"Troy told you?" I asked softly.

"Nah. When we were kicking the shit out of the doc, he said shit about you being so loose that Troy wouldn't even know if he was the actual father." Hearing that the two of them had gone after the doctor didn't make me feel better, it made me angry. Neither of them had any right to do that, he had hurt me not them.

"When did this happen?" I kept from snarling. He raised a brow at my tone and reached in his pocket, pulling out a paper.

"Page twelve." He tossed it to me. The city paper always was a train wreck, full of typos, misprints and shit stories. This time it contained the story of the doctor who ruined me and how he had been found beaten in his home. The police, looking for motive for the beating, had found stashes of medication hidden throughout his home, medication that had been filled for patients that never got them. I felt my blood run cold as I read off the names listed as patients, including my own. Not the name that I used with the gang, non, this was my real name that I kept to myself. I couldn't remember ever telling anyone my name but I had been out of it when I had been taken to the hospital.  _It was going to be okay, it was just some random newspaper in some random city. There was no way they were going to be able to find me from that. Right?_

I crumpled the paper in my fist and glared at him. "You had no right." I finally said.

"Take it up with your man." He shrugged, not concerned with my anger.

"Troy's not my man." I snarled at him. I seemed to amuse him, judging from his look.

"Yeah, yeah. He seems to think he is."

"He can go fuck himself for all care." I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted Johnny to leave. I wanted to crawl back into my bed and not get out again. I want to go home. I wanted my papa. I was having trouble breathing as tears threatened to choke me. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be fucking happy again. "He told me he didn't love me." I blurted out tears running down my face as I wondered why no one ever loved me.

XXX

Johnny wasn't good with crying women, Eesh cried and he let her do whatever to get her to stop, killing motherfuckers, taking her to movies, buying (stealing) her a whole new wardrobe, whatever man. He didn't like seeing her hurt and would do anything to make it better. He wasn't fucking Ang and he damn sure wasn't in love with her so it left him at a loss. Lin he would have known how to handle, simply fuck shit up until she was better but Ang was no Lin. He had known she was in trouble when she hadn't showed up for two weeks but when he had to pick up a wasted Troy from Tee N'(A)y, he decided enough was enough.

Which was why the two of them were sitting inside Chillin' Yo located in Rollerz territory. The shattered glass crunched under her heels as she got up to refill her bowl with cherries. She had eaten so many of them he was getting tempted to lick her and see if she tasted of them or cinnamon. With all the cherries she had eaten he doubted she'd have room for the froyo when it was ready. He waited as the sound of her sniffles were mixed with the clanking of the machines, wondering how long until it would be ready to eat. He watched her push glass around with one heel and glance at the broken doors.

"Surprised no cops yet." She said softly. The first words she had really spoken since she spouted that bullshit about Troy, she had mostly been blubbering for the last hour. She finally calmed down before suddenly breaking into new tears.  _Fuck's sake_ , he didn't know how someone could have that many fucking tears.

"None of the berries are awake yet, they're probably sleeping in their rides. Berries ain't worth shit in this city." He stole one of the cherries. "Or anywhere really." She didn't say anything else, not even to make him stop stealing her sweets, just sat there and pushed around the cherries, not even bothering to eat them anymore. Fuck, man this silence was driving him up the wall. At least with Troy he got shit out of him, well after getting his drunken ass to stop singing fucking "Piano Man". He watched as she started to tear up again and sighed with disgust. "You ever going to stop crying?" He snapped finally losing his patience with her. Fuck anything would have been better than this shit.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm just going through a personal crisis and a mental breakdown. So sorry to inconvenience you." She snapped. "Did you really think a fucking pep talk and some froyo would fucking solve everything?"

"At least I ain't wallowing like a bitch and trying to do shit to fix." He snapped back.

"Wallowing? My life has been completely fucked u-"

"Yeah well if it's that fucking bad why don't you end it?" He knew the moment the words left his mouth it was the wrong thing to say. She seemed to shut down, the light that had just crept back into her eyes, fading out. Usually pushing worked with Eesh with something like this, push hard enough and she got inspired to do shit but this wasn't Eesh and he had forgotten that for a moment. She didn't say anything, only pushed out her chair and walked out of the froyo place. Fuck, he should probably go after her. Goddamn Troy's ability to fuck things up must be rubbing off on him.

XXX

It would be so easy to do it, wouldn't it? Just maybe step in front of a bus or off a bridge. Non, that wouldn't work. I couldn't help it as my mind brought forth the image of my father. I had been out late, having not come home the night before and not wanting to come home at all with the fights we had been having. He had been drinking more and more and I couldn't stand it because he got mean and pointed out all the things wrong with me that I tried to ignore. The house had been quiet, not even the sound of the TV broke up the silence. I had figured that he was sleeping it off and went about doing homework and making dinner as our cook had been let go without warning a month ago. Since he didn't show up when the house started smelling of my cooking, I decided to check on him. He had been sitting in his study, in his favorite chair that faced the fireplace we never used because of the hot weather. The air of the study smelled like copper, that thick smell of copious amounts of blood that I caused on a daily basis nowadays in the gang. I didn't know it then, had I, I would have left the study and not approached his chair. I never would have encountered the sight of the gun still clenched in his hand, the sight of the hole in the back of the chair that should have clued me in, the blood everywhere. His body cold and pale, his eyes staring back at me with no life to them, his mouth gaping open and crusted with dried blood.

I should have never have seen that. But I did. It haunted me. Papa dead like that, without even a note. He didn't even bother to warn me of what was to come, probably because he never thought they would come after me too but they did and I had lost everything.

I didn't see the point of continuing anymore. Babette was a lost cause. I had no way of going home ever again. I had nothing and no one who would miss me. I clenched my fists tight and slammed them against the wall that I was leaning against. Everyone would forget me when I was gone. There would be no one to remember me. I had never been important to anyone. Papa had always wanted Gabriel back and Babette wanted her drugs while Mama wanted her next fix of cock. I shoved my arm against my mouth and bit down to keep the screams that wanted out inside.  _No one would remember me would they?_

I slid down the wall as the pain inside intensified. I could do it. I could do it as easily as Papa did. I should really. Things were just going to keep getting worse. The Russians would find that story, they would find me and there were worse things than death and they would prove it. I felt like a weight had been lifted at my decision. I took a deep breath, it was almost peaceful. I could control everything that happened with this. No more pain for me.

Not for me.

My eyes narrowed as I thought of that. No, no more pain for me but gods be damned if I wasn't going to make everyone fucking remember me. I needed Papa's gun, which that sloppy cunt had. I would need the power of the Saints to get it back. I would destroy Price for doing this to me. I would destroy Tanya for touching my property. I would destroy King for letting Babette sell herself.

And I would destroy Troy. I would make him love me so that when I finally was able to do it, there would be someone who would hurt as badly as I. I wouldn't have children so my legacy was going to be one of death and pain. And gods be damned if I wasn't going to go out with a bang.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to Chyrstis and HunnybadgerV for going over this for me again! Check out their stories if you haven't.

Chapter: 35

 

"I want you to make me a list of everything you have to do before you die." I gave Doc Brown a look.

"Isn't that exactly the opposite of what I should be making?" I scratched at the IV in my arm. Damn tape itched like hell.

"If I asked you what you had to live for, what would you tell me?" I had to look away from her knowing gaze.

"Exactly, Angelique. We both know how you feel and this isn't your first time doing this." She motioned to the IV. "We can focus on what you need to do, and when you're done with that list, we'll make another because there will always be something that you have to do."

"What if there's not?" My voice was still rough, my throat still so sore. I wondered if I was going to be left with a scar.

"There is always something, Angelique."

xxx

Lists had always gotten me through the tough times. Up until now there had always been something worth living for. But really, what did I have left? I would never have a family. My only family was a drugged up whore who couldn't tell the difference between reality and hallucinations. I had the Russians after me and the things they would do would be worse than death. Thanks again, Father. After I finished this list, I would be ready. Bridges would be burned and the ashes would scatter.

Having decided to end it, I felt better than I had in years. It was as if a burden had been lifted that I had been carrying for years. No more worries about the future. No more caring what people thought. No more playing nice because I would get in trouble. Just pure me, and no more censor. Which was why I rolled my eyes as Julius continued to lecture me.

"Are you even listening to me?" He finally snapped. He had been going on and on about letting the gang down and responsibility and blah, blah, blah. I had stopped paying attention really. He tried to stare me down but I met his gaze and stood my ground.

"You want the Rollerz and Kings gone, non? Then let me do my job and get out of my way." At my growling tone his look changed, it almost looked like he was proud.

"You think you got this?"

"Oui, I do."

"Don't fuck up playa." He warned me before getting the fuck out of my face. I growled in annoyance as I went back to stock up on supplies for my plan. Bullets, a Shepard since I didn't have my gun, grenades and some satchel charges went into my bag. Oh the plans I had for those. I eyed the RPG launcher, considering taking it but decided it would be too obvious.

"Hey." My body tightened at Troy's voice, anger and tears suddenly fighting to get out. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to cling to him. I instead kept my back to him as I packed my toys away.

"Hey." I replied back as neutrally as possible. I finished packing up my stuff and slung the pack over my shoulder. He still hadn't said anything and I was actually surprised he was still standing there being so quiet. The smoke should have tipped me off as it looked like he had sucked down three cigarettes in the time it took me to finish up. I looked at him and waited for him to say something but he just stared back at me. I shook my head and went to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and held on. "What?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. His thumb caressed my arm as he dropped his eyes from mine, that look that I didn't understand in his face again.

"For what?" I shrugged off his hand despite how much I wanted to cling to him. "Not like you led me on or anything." That at least was true. He never promised anything deeper. I was the one that had fallen in love. Guess it was natural since he spent so much time with me, sleeping over all the time, cuddling with me, checking up on me multiple times a day and making sure I was taken care of. Yeah, no way he led me on.

"Fuck, Angel I never-"

"My name is Angelique. Stop calling me by that stupid moniker." I told him in my coldest ice queen voice - perfected in high school. I took no small pleasure at the hurt in his eyes at my tone.

"Can I come over tonight and we'll talk?" He tried again.

"What's the point?" I asked maintaining my tone. Oh he didn't like that tone one bit. I leveled my gaze with his and arched a brow, silently daring him to argue with me.

XXX

Angry blow job. Those were words he never thought would go in a sentence together unless it was about how you weren't getting any because someone was angry at you. He shook out a smoke from his pack and light up after a moment, trying to quell the urge to go and drink. Goddamn that woman was turning him into an alcoholic.

He wasn't sure what was going on anymore between them. One moment she was the ice queen, looking down at him while disdain dripped from every word, her words cutting him deeper than he expected. He just wanted to get her to talk to him, try and sort out this shit between them. He wanted her to listen to him, even if he had no right to talk to her. He wanted her to know he cared about her. Not love caring, not in the way that Johnny insisted he did because if he really loved her he wouldn't have fucked him. You don't fuck around when you love someone. Troy didn't care what type of fucked up relationship Johnny had with Eesh, you just don't. He didn't know how to explain how he felt to her, he couldn't even explain it to himself. He started to try to talk to her but the more he talked the colder her eyes got as she looked down at him, even while being shorter than him.

Shit he wasn't even sure what had happened. One moment she had been giving him that look and had taunted him, saying she'd find someone else more fun to talk to. Expect the way she said talk told him, she didn't mean talk talk. She had thrown it in his face that his talk was pretty boring and that she'd find someone else to talk to like Julio. He had lost it then. Bad enough she insulted his ego but to say that she'd prefer to be with someone else had left him in a rage. He had gripped her neck, pulling her into a rough kiss. Her hands pressing against his chest but not pushing him away as he tried to tell her how he felt through the kiss. That little sigh of hers against his lips that left him rock hard. She had pushed him against the wall, pressing against him, her hands going to his hair as she ground against him, leaving him panting. Pulling away from the kiss, her mouth was at his ear in a flash as sultry whisper of French caressing in a hot angry tone. He needed to get to work on getting himself a dictionary or one of those translation apps or something. The punishing way she returned to his lips had left him stunned, the way she bit at him as her hands trailed down his chest, her fingers working quickly on his belt.

The next time she pulled away from the kiss, her eyes met his as she wrapped her hand around his cock. When he asked what the hell she was doing she had only chuckled and ran her thumb over the head, leaving him breathless. When he grabbed her wrist in a vain attempt to stop her, she nuzzled his neck, her teeth grazing his out of control pulse.

His eyes went wide as she went to her knees in front of him. He should have stopped her but the sight of her like that weakened his will and her hand fluffing him up, made his mind blank. She rolled her eyes up to look at him as she took him into her mouth. She never broke eye contact with him as she licked and sucked him until he was fisting her hair as he came. He was still trying to catch his breath when she stood and leaned into him, her breath tickling his ear.

"And that's how you fuck someone without fucking their feelings too." She drew back, her eyes as dead as he had ever seen then. "Or did I screw it up like you always do?" She asked, giving his cheek a slap before walking out of the room.

"The fuck you doing just standing around? Don't you got shit to do?" Johnny said as he came into the armory breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, fuck, I was just thinking."

"Yo, you might want to zip up unless you wanna flash the boss." His face turned bright red at Johnny's laughter, and he quickly did.

XXX

Grenades really didn't require much skill, just pull and throw before they go off. Course you could cook them, holding them for a little longer but that seemed stupid and a good way to get killed as much. As I wanted to die, I wasn't going to be stupid about it. Which was why I tossed them as soon as I pulled the pin and was currently stuck behind a car as Rollerz tried to kill me. I was tired of waiting for a lull in the shooting. Fuck it. I pulled the pin and tossed the damn thing without looking.

The blast knocked me over, the smell of burning rubber had me jumping up, bullets be damned as the car the others had hidden behind caught fire. I was grateful I had worn flats today as I ducked behind a building barely getting out of the explosion's path in time. Thank the gods these cookie cutter houses were so close to each other. The last Rollerz was trying to get up when I put him out of my misery via bat to the head as I continued to my target.

Before Lin had died she told me about that Vin Diesel wannabe, beloved nephew of the bank roller, the fucker that killed her and was to blame for my current state. I had a lot of bodies to step over as I neared the house I had tracked him to. Just like the church, it had been easy to find the base since there had been so many blues flying around. I had come in blue at first, planting some satchel charges around before I had attacked head on. Cars that would have bankrupted families were smoking wrecks as I neared the house. I knew wannabe was hurt, the sole hit I got on him had got him in the leg before he ran in the house. I found him hiding in the bathroom of all places, which I would have never looked into but the fucker had an itchy trigger finger and fired before I even passed the door. I counted his shots. One. Two. Three. There was a pause and I could make out the faint sound of a clip sliding out. I charged and kicked him in the face, stealing the gun out of his hand.

"Where's Sharp?" I pressed my gun against his head.

"Fuck you!" He spat blood at me. I slapped him in the face with my gun and while he was dazed I shoved his face in the nearby toilet and proceeded to almost drown him. He was big and the lack of hair made it hard to grasp him but I had leverage and I was beyond pissed.

"Wanna try again?" I snarled lifting him up for a moment. "Or was the answer down there?"

"F-fuck you." I laughed.

"Let's get something straight, you're going to die, how much you suffer beforehand is up to you." I pushed him under the water again. If drowning didn't work, I had other plans that involved an abandoned warehouse and power tools...

XXX

His nephew was late. The little shit should have been here an hour ago. Of course he wasn't picking up his phone. He was about to angrily hang up when he heard ringing coming from the door.

"Young man where-" He trailed off as he opened the door to find a box on his doorstep. The box was bleeding. And ringing. He hung up and the ringing stopped. With shaking hands he opened it.

The police showed up half an hour later as several neighbors called in about screams.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Thanks to Chyrstis and HunnybadgerV for looking over the work. You should check out their badass bosses if you haven't already.

Someone had fucked up bad. Someone had fucked up so bad that a dozen Saints were arrested including him and the goddamn chief of police was glaring at him as a file was tossed on the table in front of him.

"One of your crew is a fucking fan of Seven." The chief snarled. Troy felt sick to his stomach at the photo of the head in the box.

"Jesus, is that his-"

"His severed dick in his mouth. We went through four techs before we found someone who could process it."

"Fuck's sake." Troy flipped the photo over feeling slightly nauseous.

"It wasn't postmortem either. So who was it? Gat?"

"Not his style." Shit, it wasn't anyone's style as far as he knew, but the next photo proved him wrong. It was of a note that had been taped to the lid of the box.

Never should have touched Lin. XOXO

XXX

Something was wrong. Or was it? I wasn't sure. I felt so numb, so dead inside as I watched the water swirl down the drain. Bloody water kinda like the water I used to have every month, but the only blood that would grace my shower from now on wouldn't be mine. I never realized that blood was hard to get out of your hair; three times I had washed it and still I kept finding more. It didn't help that I could barely feel my fingers for some reason. My whole body felt like it was so far away. I wish my place had had a tub, I could go for a nice soak.

"Hey, come on the water's freezing." When had the water gotten cold? I looked up, confused at the voice, even more confused to find Troy standing there. He cut the water off and wrapped one of my fluffy towels around me. I wasn't aware of how I moved to the bed, but next thing I knew I was covered up in the bed with Troy holding me. He smoothed my hair away from my face, his words garbled as I drifted off to sleep.

It took me a few moments to remember who was in my bed. My head felt fuzzy like I had been binge drinking or something. I hadn't called him after I slaughtered baldy, had I? No, I had put the box on Sharp's step and headed home, leaving the blood-soaked car that cost more than most people's homes a block away from home. I didn't remember the walk here, everything after the drive was kinda a blur.

He was sound asleep, making that little snoring noise he did every time he slept on his left side. I was surprised he was dressed, he liked sleeping naked next to me but here he was fully dressed, even had his sneakers still on. His dirty ass sneakers on my just cleaned comforter. He kept dirtying my life up. I would have never joined the Saints if it wasn't for him. Never would have worked so hard to impress him just so he'd look at me with what I had mistook for love. I was so stupid, like my mother, searching for affection in people that never felt the same. And just like her, my taste in men would probably get me killed.

"Hey, how you feeling?" He asked as his eyes opened and focused on me. He gave me a smile that made me warm, his hand coming up to brush some of my hair out of my face.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" I snapped slapping his hand away from my face.

"Nice to see you Troy, I missed you, how about I explain why I was a bloody mess and stuff?" He mocked my voice and accent. I glared at him before pushing him off the bed.

"Fuck!" He pushed up from the floor, and gave me a wounded look. "I see how it is, I risk life and limb to see if you're okay and you just kick me to the curb."

"The fuck are you doing here?" I grabbed at the blankets upon realizing I was naked under the sheets.

"Was worried about you." He shrugged and got up. I watched him move around my kitchen, my somehow clean kitchen. I frowned, I didn't clean it, not that I could recall. He came back with a mug, and handed it to me.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked feeling confused as hell. He didn't answer, urging me to drink my own coffee with a gesture. "I kicked you out." I took a sip surprised to find it was made the way I liked it.

"Danish?" He held out a plate of them avoiding the question and tempting me with sugary goodness. He even had gotten one with cherries and cheese. He knew my weakness to them. I couldn't help it as I grabbed one, oh it was even warm. Dirty bastard. "I got some people to clean your place while you were out yesterday. Want to tell me why you were covered with blood?" He said it so neutrally it took a moment to for it to register and another for me to swallow down my food.

"Why were you watching me?" I avoided his question.

"Been worried about you." He shrugged as he ate a blueberry danish.

"We broke up." I reminded him.

"And then you gave me head. Back home that's like a makeup really." He waggled his eyebrows at me. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"You're an idiot." He put down his stuff and crawled over to me, kissing me gently.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot remember?" He took my stuff before I spilled it and went back to kissing me, his hands pulling me gently against him. I knew I shouldn't let him kiss me, or hold me like this, but I was so worn and right now he felt so good.

XXX

He knew she was in shock. He also knew that it would probably take her a bit before she really came back to herself fully. He also knew he was a fucking scumbag for doing it, for weaseling his way back in but he had to. He had to keep her safe. Her prints had been all over that box; prints the police would never connect since he had swapped out her prints on file for someone else'. The idea of her being locked away in a tiny cell for the rest of her life was one that sent chills down his spine. And with Prices' money he would insure she would be locked away in solitary until she went insane.

"I should really kick you out again." She muttered, her cold hands creeping under his shirt seeking warmth. "But you feel really good right now."

"You always feel good." She gave him one of her happy, shy smiles that he adored.

"You know, don't you?" She bit her lip. He couldn't help kissing her again, sucking gently on her lip.

"Sorry can't help myself, every time you do that." He gave her a sheepish look as he drew back, his hand soothing her hair off her cheek. It was long enough now he could wrap it around his fist. "But yeah, I know." He finally said. "Police pulled a whole bunch of us in because of Sharp."

"Fuck." She sighed and pulled away from him and started to climb over him to get up.

"Hey, where you going?" He caught hold of her, pulling her back down next to him.

"I have to get it together, who knows how long I have until the berries connect the dots. I should have worn gloves." She muttered the last.

"Yes you should have, but they aren't going to find you. I covered your tracks." He knew he shouldn't tell her, but he was worried she would hightail it out of the city. He couldn't let her go.

"How?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Switched out your prints with someone else's." He shrugged. "I have contacts in the police which is why I'm usually the one that's called instead of Johnny."

"So do you know where Sharp is?"

XXX


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37:**

I was starting to realize that Troy was easy to manipulate. Give him the puppy eyes, bite my lip a little and throw in the possibility of a blow job and he lost any sense of self control. The fact that I was getting good at manipulating him pissed me off. Hell everything about him pissed me off. How dare he cover for me. How dare he try and take care of me. How dare he have people come into my home to clean it up because he knew how neat I liked things. How dare he try and protect me.

How dare he start to care about me.

I pushed the thoughts away as I eyed the address he gave me. He offered to come with me but with one glare he had held his hands up in peace. Cradling my face, he told me to be careful; and that he would be there if I needed him. Then he kissed me so sweetly that I had almost stayed. Why was he starting to offer me what I wanted when it was almost all over?

It was probably nothing more than his hero complex coming out. He was probably just doing the same thing he always did with people. I knew how he handled people while covering for Johnny, always trying to save the wannabes from harm, always trying to protect people even when he ripped out their hearts. I wanted to rip out his.

"Gods be damned I'm doing it again." I punched the steering wheel in anger. I needed to stop thinking about him. No more thinking of him. Concentrate on Sharp. On killing the motherfucker. On making him suffer. I stared at the safe house provided by the cops. I could do this.

I scouted out the house, there were no cops nearby which struck me as strange but then I saw the bodyguards playing cards. What a bunch of idiots. Father would have had fired them and ruined their careers for such laziness. Of course, having a client die on your watch was also a career-ruiner. Then again so was death… Sharp was hiding in his room, well, not really hiding, but fucking some woman. She looked like she was in a daze making me think she was on drugs or something. Given the fact that she was wearing yellow made me think she probably was. Looked like he could only get some when he was raping or they were out of it. Fucking sicko.

It probably would have been easier to wait until he was finished and then get him when he was alone but I wanted him to suffer. I stuck my knife in the window, and edged it up slowly. The woman saw me as I got it open enough but either didn't care or was too out of it to say anything as I climbed through the window. Sharp didn't even notice, he was too caught up in his activity. I brought my bat down on his head, his movements stopping as he went still. I was glad I was wearing gloves as I pulled his body off of the woman who couldn't bring herself around enough to move, her eyes followed me lazily, sliding closed a moment later. Oh yes, I would enjoy doing this.

I wasn't too careful as I dropped him through the window or while dragged him to the trunk of my car. For my own sake, I did cover him in a blanket before closing my trunk, but I'd have to bleach my eyes to remove the sight of his snake-belly pale skin. I couldn't leave yet though. I couldn't leave that girl like that. She could have easily been Babette. I cursed my conscience as I went back to get her out too.

XXX

No matter where you went, prostitutes were going to be there. There was always someone willing to get paid for just about anything. Even though he was a cop, Troy didn't have issues with any of the working girls or hell, even the guys, he had always been more likely to give a warning and shit instead of arrests. Hooking was a victimless crime for the most part.

That said, he hated Tanya's method of getting her girls hooked and ruining them if they tried leaving. However, Babette Capulet wasn't pushed into drugs, no she ran straight for them. It was obvious from the way she held herself, from the way she practically showed off her track marks to every passerby. It screamed she would do something just for the drugs and not the money, however the yellow let people know that she needed the cash anyway. No one fucked with Tanya's money. He watched her in the mirror in front of him as she took man after man, he wasn't sure if she was taking them to the bar's bathroom or outside, but she always came back looking as fresh as when she started. He decided as he watched her smiling face and flirting way that he didn't like her. He didn't like her one bit. Here she was without a care, did she even know that Ang was on the run from something? That their father was dead? That she had  _stabbed_  Ang? Did she even think of her? Hell, he didn't even know how Ang knew she'd be in Stilwater.

It was towards closing time that she finally finished taking customers and headed out. He finished his beer and followed.

"Sorry hun, you got your courage up too late." She said with a laugh when she noticed him following her. "Plus I charge you Saints double." She smirked at him.

"I wanna talk to you about your sister." He replied.

"Sorry, I don't have a sister." She laughed.

"I'll make sure to let Angelique know that." She stopped smiling and all gaiety faded from her face. Just with his words, she became cold and her fingers trailed over a knife he had spotted hours ago.

"Who are you and what do you know about my sister?" The lack of humor in her voice made him feel so much better.

"Like you said, I'm a Saint."

"Angelique is home, you won't trick me. Who are you really? One of Papa's people, or one of his rivals trying to finish the job?" He cocked his head at her question. Ang never mentioned what her father did besides drink. Why would he have people or rivals? The temptation to question her and let himself be sidetracked into finding out about it was strong but he forced himself to focus on his mission.

"Don't have a clue what you're on about, but she's here and she's a Saint." His words seemed to confuse her. She looked around as if she was searching for clues… or listening to someone else.

"Non, she's home with Pere." Fuck, she didn't know about him, how could she though?

"She came here looking for you, joined up to stay safe." He didn't think it should be his job to tell her about her father.

"What?" She shook her head. "Non, non, he cut her off didn't he?" She would have have security otherwise." She mumbled half to herself. "I'll kill the bastard." She snarled. "She should be applying to Bolshoi, not in some bullshit gang." She huffed glaring at him like it was all his fault. "What's your angle? Why come to me, Saint?" She growled the word. "How did you even find me?"

"Ang came here for you, she's in trouble nowadays. Figured she'd get together with you and leave." He said it as normally as possible, ignoring the feeling that the thought of her leaving caused. She gave him a look before grabbing him by his shirt and hauled him against her. He immediately pushed away from her, the look of anger on her face unsettling him.

"How old are you, you sick fucker?" She pulled her knife out. "I knew you Saints were fucked up screwing around with a kid." She snarled.

"Whoa, the fuck you talking about? Put the knife down before you get hurt."

"How about I use it to cut that cock of yours off instead. Probably going to need to get a magnifying glass first." She said as she ran her thumb over the blade. "I know you're fucking my sister, I can smell her perfume on you. She's been wearing it since she was ten." Well this got awkward fast.

"Look, she works with me, that's all."

"Oh yes, I'm sure she does, under you." She snapped. "Tell me another lie and I'll make you eat it when I cut it off."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, seriously." He shuddered. Guess some twisted shit ran in her family. "Look whether or not I'm with Ang isn't the issue, the issue is she's hurt and won't take care of herself."

"Ang?" She quirked an eyebrow at him before stepping back a step, her thumb still caressing the knife. "Angelique has never allowed anyone to butcher her name." She gave him a look over. "The fact you aren't sporting a broken bone or two is telling. How long have you been with her and don't give me the fucking run around."

"She came here back in March just kinda been around the whole time." He shrugged. He wasn't sure what to do about her at this point. He should have realized that it wouldn't be simple. Nothing was simple when it came to Ang, should have figured it would be that way to with her family.

"Uh-huh, and how long have you been fucking her?" She raised a brow at him at his blush. Why was he even bothering to answer her?

"Since July. Look are we going to keep playing twenty questions or are you going to help your sister?"

"Non, she knew not to come for me. She's made her choices and must live with them." She shook her head. "Honestly, joining the Saints." She turned away from him. "Don't bother telling her you found me, it's time for her move on and forget about me, much like everyone else." Anger filled Troy. No way in hell was she walking away.

XXX

"Wakey wakey, hands off snakey." I tapped the glass, startling awake Sharp. The look of panic on his face when he looked around was priceless. I grinned at him as he realized where he was. I watched him struggle against his bindings which were just loose enough to give him false hope. He shouted something at me but I couldn't hear him through the thick glass and the gag over his mouth. I smiled as I pushed the button on the machine, it shuddered to life and water poured in. "What do you think? Should I use the name brand or off brand? I held up two different bottles of detergent. He struggled in his bonds. "You're right. I should just use bleach." I picked up the bottle and poured the whole thing in the machine. I knew the moment it started to mix with the water inside as he squeezed his eyes closed. The muffled yelling confirmed it.

The washing machine, one of those side loaders, it didn't fill all the way up and didn't drown him right away. He struggled to keep himself up out of the water, which became harder as it started to slowly spin. I sat down in the chair set up in front of the machine, and kicked my legs up on the side of it as I watched him going round and round in the machine.

"And now for our musical entertainment!" I told him and started singing. "Into each life some rain must fall." I started off doing my best not to the butcher the song but the look of the woman doing her laundry a few machines away told me otherwise by the expression on her face. I gave her a look and she ignored me and continued to do her wash. I would never understand people in this goddamn city. "Ooh, the spin cycle. I wish I had popcorn." I quipped as I watched him struggle and finally free his hands to try and get some sort of control. I laughed when he patted the door for some kind of release lever. Yeah, these things didn't have anything like that. Maybe the newer machines did but this thing was as old as me. I was impressed he managed to survive the first go around. "Oh, don't worry I have plenty of quarters." I reassured him as I got up to start the machine all over again.

XXX

"Get off of me you stupid son of a whore!"

"Yeah, coming from a whore that's not exactly an insult." Troy said as he hauled Babette up the stairs. She fought him tooth and nail as he drug her along by her cuffed arms. She was stupid to think he was going to let this go. She was just going to abandon her sister and that was fucked up as hell. He never would have abandoned any of his siblings, not even Antony, the dick bag. He knew this was risky as he just basically all but outted himself as he arrested her and dragged her to the hospital just inside of the suburbs.

"I'll fucking kill you! Don't make me go there." She tried digging her heels into the ground, her eyes wide and panicking now that she saw where he was taking her.

"You're going to get clean and then you're going to get Ang out of this city and keep her safe."

"Fuck you! I hope she stabs your pasty ass." Her struggles became so bad that he tossed her over his shoulder as he walked to the intake the police used. He handed her off to one of the orderlies that came out to see what the problem was.

"Need a full stay for her, lose her paperwork if you know what I mean." He told the nurse in charge after giving her his badge number.

"What name you want her under?" He thought for a minute, he needed a name that no one would ever find her under until she was sober and sane.

"Moira O'Conner." He told her. Old girlfriend's name that had caused him so many problems. "I'll check in every so often, keep this off the books, got it?"

"Yes sir." He watched as she was dragged in kicking and shrieking and didn't feel an ounce of pity for her. No, he felt it for Ang if anything. She deserved something better.

XXX

" _Why are you doing this? Just kill me!"_  I smiled thinking about the words that Sharp had managed to ask me somewhere in between the third and fourth wash cycle. I hadn't even bothered to give him an answer, he didn't deserve it. It had taken six times around before he gave up the ghost and finally drowned. It had been beautiful, the look in his eyes as he just gave up and accepted his fate. I had left him in the machine only to get yelled at by the owner to take my shit with me. Last I saw he was tossing Sharp's body on the sidewalk after I got in my car.

The hooker I had dropped off with Mrs. J, who would take care of the girl. Who knew if she'd survive coming off all the drugs she had in her system but at least I hadn't just left her there to die.

I felt better with Sharp dead. One more thing to cross off my list. One more step closer to the end. When I finally got home I found Troy standing outside my place. He looked like he was debating knocking or not.

"Hey." I said as I came up to him. He looked surprised that I wasn't inside and smiled after a moment.

"Hey yourself, you doing okay?" He asked his hand going to my cheek.

"Went and did some laundry." I shrugged. "What are you doing here?" He looked away, a look I didn't understand flying through his eyes for a moment.

"I'm supposed to be here, remember? Taking care of you is my job." Maybe he meant the words to be playful. Maybe he was trying to comfort me. All it did was make my blood run cold. I knew he didn't love me but the way he phrased it made me feel like I was just a chore for him to check off on his list. I knew he didn't love me and honestly, I don't think he would ever love me with words like that. Everything he had been doing was what a good boyfriend was supposed to do. It hurt that he was only going through the motions and didn't really care about me.

No one was ever going to love me. Not my father, my mother, my sister, so why should Troy of all people? I gave him a look and leaned against his chest, his arms coming up automatically to hold me. It was nice to be held. I wouldn't have love, but perhaps I could have a facsimile before I died. Something fake was better than nothing at all. Wasn't it?


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38:

"The fuck kind of bullshit is that!" A beer can bounced off the plasma TV, making it wobble dangerously on its stand. I was treated to the sight of Ms. Carmen going after the offender with her shoe as I listened to Jane Valadrama go on about Sharp having died due to a new dangerous trend in autoerotic asphyxiation. The media had seized onto the idea when the police didn't feed them anything, but the lady at the laundry mat had been more than happy to lie for cash. My skin crawled at the idea of Sharp getting off on it. Fortunately I was distracted when Ms. Carmen caught the can thrower and proceeded to beat him as she yelled what I assumed were obscenities.

Everyone knew what actually had happened to Sharp, they just weren't sure which Saint did it since the lady never mentioned who else was there. Julius had congratulated everyone on taking down another gang, but he knew it was me, I could tell from the way he looked at me, like a bug under the scope. He was the reason I was staying away from the church. I didn't need people praising me and getting others to look up to me, it might make me reconsider my plan.

I turned my attention back to the TV, listening to the chief of police address concerns about the remaining gangs. I noticed how he said nothing about Ben King. I wondered if it was common knowledge that it wasn't officially acknowledged that King ran the gang. Maybe that's how it had been for my father? People must have known that he had some type of drug business, non? Just no one ever talked about it. I tried to remember if my cunt of a grandmother ever had any snide remarks for him about work, but alas, nothing. I couldn't remember one thing that was ever talked about as far as business went. I'd never know, would I?

"The fuck!" I yelled as my thoughts were distracted as I got hit in the back of the head. Ms. Carmen glared down at me with a vengeance.

"You've been sulking there for three days, get up and do something," she scolded me like she was my mother or something.

"I'm not sulking," I snapped.

"Have you even followed up with the doctor?" Great, she would know as the gang's go to medic but I didn't have to like it.

"He's in jail," I grumbled, the look she gave me said it wasn't an excuse. I wanted to tell her to get off my back, I could sit around all day if I wanted, and technically it was my house. Dex had given me the deed when I took down the LC but I hadn't taken it, so he turned it over to Carmen who turned it into a respite for wounded and recovering Saints. Which I had been making use of for the last few days trying to relax, spending a lot of time in the jacuzzi and watching TV on the 100" plasma. Not that it really helped. The end was so near, just one thing left to do and I'd be free and yet my anxiety was so high, I hadn't been able to sleep and not even meds were working anymore. It probably didn't help I had no one to talk to, no place to clean since my place was spotless and Carmen's cleaning put mine to shame. I sighed as Carmen continued to stare me down. "Fine, fine, I'll call a doctor, okay?" I huffed.

XXX

The whores here in this city were nothing compared to back home, which only served to increase his anger as the one under him half-heartedly responded to his fucking. He was going to make that little Capulet bitch pay for wasting his time and money. First her father fucked him over for the money, then she took off before he could get it back. He'd find her and turn her into one of his finest whores for this trouble.

"Dmitri we've found the girl," His lieutenant said, interrupting the pitiful fucking. He pushed the whore away, and gave her a look that had her scrambling for her clothes as he stalked out of the room.

"How?"

"Placed a call to the doctor."

"Stupid American child." he scoffed.

XXX

"I have never had sex in a graveyard," the girl sitting across from me said. I gave her a nasty look and downed my drink.

"Seriously? Oh, you nasty."

"Fuck off, New Orleans is lousy with them," I grumbled much to the amusement of the others at the table. I was too much my father's child to resist the allure of the bottle, it was an easy way out that it was, which was why I had gotten involved in a game of "Never have I ever". Calling my shrink had been a stupid idea and didn't help at all with anything. All it did was make me feel worse. I wasn't the same person as I was the last time I talked to her, she hadn't said that but I could tell. Doc Brown always had been friendly, but she was distant and almost cautious when she spoke, like she was scared of me now.

"Yeah but still a graveyard, that's so disrespectful."

"They're not there, it's just a plot of land with corpses. They don't give a shit." Was I slurring? How many shots had I taken now? Once the group had figured out my weak spot, aka my family's money, they went for all of it. Lived in a house with more than two bedrooms? Shot. Had more than one bathroom? Shot. Had a vacation home? Shot. Bought a pair of pants more than fifty dollars? Shot. Parents owned more than one car? Shot. Had a maid? Shot. Had my own bedroom? Shot. Had TV in said bedroom? Shot. The room was starting to get wobbly.

"That's still fucked up." Julio said, snickering. Jerk hadn't taken any shots tonight, I think he was cheating.

"Look when I die, I'm going to have a waist-high grave marker so you can comfortably fuck on it."

"My waist or yours, because I got to tell you not a lot of people are giants." I glared at him.

"Fuck off."

"That's the problem, I'd fall the fuck off. Falling isn't classy."

"Well don't fuck on my grave." Was I getting loud? From the looks of the people around me, I think I was. I pushed up from the table. "I'm out, any more and you'll be rolling me up to the ER for alcohol poisoning." As I walked I realized I probably had drunk more than I should have, the world was on a weird tilt-a-whirl. I knew better than to try and compensate for it. No one bothered to stop me as I left the house, they were all caught up in their own game again.

Gods, no one really cared about me anymore. There was still no sign of my sister, my therapist thought I was unstable and frankly was not as understanding as I remembered her, Troy only cared because that's what you were supposed to do, and I really hadn't bothered making friends in the gang. I ran my hands over my face, trying to clear my thoughts away. I had to finish this soon. Now that the Rollerz were out of the way, I could take down the Vice Kings and get my gun back. Tanya shouldn't be too hard to get to right? I just needed to play along until Dex and Johnny went after her. Then I would get the gun and it would be over.

Tears were running down my face and I felt weak and stupid. I was just so tired of being me. I was tired of everyone thinking because my family had money meant I had no reasons to be sad. I hated how no one ever cared about me. Papa hadn't cared about me except for the few times he was out of liquor and sober for a day before running right back to his bottle. Maman had barely been able to look at me and Babette. What had I done wrong to make my family hate me so much? Tears were coming fast now. I needed to get home, I didn't want people to see me like this. With my luck someone would take me to the hospital. I didn't want to go back to a hospital with their probing questions and idiocy, and who knew what body part I'd be missing this time.

Home. Gods I wish I had a real place I called home. A place that people who loved me were at. Why couldn't I have a real home like everyone else in the gang? Why hadn't I made friends? I pushed more tears off my cheeks. This needed to stop. I couldn't take it anymore.

I was just so tired. Soon I'd be able to rest. Soon I'd be home. Soon I'd see the Summerlands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to HunnybadgerV and chyrstis for helping out as always!


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

 

Troy had a headache. He had a huge headache. A headache around 6'2', and cocky as hell, that was getting on his last nerve. "For the last time, no."

"Why the fuck not?" Troy was starting to believe that was the only phrase his headache seemed to know.

"We've been over this four times."

"Yeah and? We know where King is, let's just take him the fuck out."

"For fuck's sake, we need an actual plan, we can't rush this." Troy snapped.

"Why the fuck not?" This time each word was drawn out.

"Because the last time you went off halfcocked you almost got yourself and Ang killed." He sunk down in his seat when he realized he had been loud enough to have people looking over at him in the bar. Johnny was really trying his patience. The idiot wanted to go off and kill King since they knew where he was at, but he didn't want to listen to Troy about planning or anything. He wanted to run off and take over the city now. Troy was half tempted to tell him the moment King was out of the way the gang would be going to jail. The thought was suffocating. Everything would change soon. Five years of his life would suddenly be all gone, nothing left except the memories and the people who would hate him.

"We were fine, it was just a minor setback." Troy lifted a brow at that as he lit up a smoke.

"Minor? You almost lost your fucking leg." Yep, he was getting loud again. What was it about Johnny that let him get under his skin? There weren't many people Troy let get to him like this and the idea of Johnny being laid up again or worse made his stomach knot.

"Whatever," Johnny grumped into his beer as he watched him over the rim of his glasses. From the look of Johnny's furrowed brow, he seemed to be thinking too hard about something. That was never good. He put his beer down and tapped his fingers on the side, each tap bringing the ring he was wearing in contact with the bottle. Somehow the sound managed to travel over the others in the noisy bar. "Fuck it, I got to ask," Johnny muttered after a moment. "How'd you knock up Ang with her being gay?" He narrowed his eyes at Troy. "She was pretty wasted that time you took her home. You didn't, did you?" he growled.

"Whoa, I wouldn't-"

"Oh really? Because I can't wrap my head around it. I get it she does the method acting shit which is why she hangs all over you, but I figure she draws the line somewhere. So, the lesbian gets knocked up, she's crying about not being loved by you," glare "which raises a lot of fucking questions and none of them leaves you looking good. So, you do some method acting of your own and give her the whole 'I love you sugar tits, let's fuck' and then what? Tell her you just wanted to fuck around or something?" The tapping was faster now.

"Wait, wait, wait, she came to you about this?"

It hurt that Ang had gone to Johnny about this instead of him. She didn't talk to him unless it was information about what was going on with the gang. Every time he tried to do some nice normal couple bullshit she'd pull away even more. It wasn't just him that she was pulling away from either, Julio had come to him with worries that something was wrong ever since she had hung out with some of the crew. He hadn't been out on assignment with her, but reports said she was more reckless and brutal than before. The crew was starting to treat her like a more dangerous Gat, and that was worrying.

"No, I went to her. You know how she fucking locked herself up for weeks? You knew, so what the fuck were you doing besides me?" Troy could feel himself turning bright red. He wasn't comfortable with the way Johnny could just flaunt whatever it was they had going on between them, and he knew it.

"I was giving her space. She told me to leave, she screamed at me in fact."

"And you fucking did? You don't know the first thing about women, do you?"

"And like you do, with how long you've been cheating on Eesh?" Troy snapped. He was angry enough at his failure to get through to Ang and didn't need Johnny throwing it in his face.

"Oh fuck off with your superior moral bullshit. Eesh knows exactly what I do, you're the fucking one cheating on Ang. Plus you can barely handle the fact that you're bi-"

"I'm not fucking gay." Troy could feel his face going red.

"I didn't fucking say gay, I said bi. You know, fucking bisexual which is what the fuck you are because you sure as fuck ain't monosexual." Johnny glared at him as he drank. "And since you can't fucking handle your own sexuality, you probably don't know jack shit about Ang's either. Fucking lesbian my ass, she's probably demi." he grumbled. "Just tell me what happened was fucking consensual at least."

"Of course it was." Troy was appalled that Johnny could even think that. "Jesus, Gat, I do a lot of fucked up shit, but that's not me. You really think I'd have a dick any more if I did that?"

"True that, she would have carved you up like she did, what's his name." Johnny said with a grin, proud of her actions. "So, what the fuck is going on with you two?" he was back to scowling at Troy that quickly.

"Why the fuck is it your business?" Troy didn't want to talk about this anymore. Honestly he'd get out if it wasn't for the fact he knew Gat would follow him until he got answers.

"Someone's got to watch out for her and you don't even know what the fuck is going on between you two half the fucking time. You're in love with her," Gat glared at Troy as he started to interrupt. "You can't even admit it to yourself, but you fucking are and she's becoming self-destructive. If you pulled your head out of your ass, you'd fucking realize it." Having said his piece, he drank his beer quietly while waiting for the gears in Troy's brain to start fucking moving again.

Troy rubbed his face and sighed heavily. "Goddamn, I don't fucking know how I feel about her. I want her fucking safe though." And not in jail. There had to be a way to do both. To get her out of the life and someplace safe, someplace that neither the gang, nor the law would be able to touch her. He racked his mind for some loophole that would keep her safe.

There was a way. A way that she'd be rendered unable to testify, and likewise himself against her.

"I'm going to ask her to marry me." Troy announced, only to be greeted by Johnny's laughter. "What?"

"You can't even admit you fucking love her and you're going to get hitched?"

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later." Johnny snorted with amusement. "What kinda ring you thinking?"

"Let's go hit an Ice." Troy said as he got up, the room swaying after all the liquor he drank.

"Fuck yeah, let's do this shit."

XXX

Waking up to a ringing phone wasn't my favorite thing in the world, especially when it was a number I didn't know. I glared at the phone for a moment before answering.

"Hey girl! How's it going?" The overly cheerful voice on the line made me scowl.

"Who's this?"

"It's Aisha." I frowned. Why was Gat's girlfriend calling me? "You want to come with me to gloat?"

"What?"

"Guess who got picked up last night for D & D?" Aisha laughed. It took a few minutes for her to explain that Johnny and Troy had been picked up for drunk and disorderly in the wee hours of the morning. The two of them had been so wasted they had lost a fight with a couple cops. It would have been funny if it wasn't for the fact it was too damn early for this. Bunch of idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to HunnybadgerV and chyrstis for helping out as always!


	40. Chapter 40

"Fuck you." Johnny growled, which only made my smile widen.

"What happened to not stopping for berries?" I couldn't help but tease. I had been riding a superior high since Eesh and I had picked up the pair this morning. There was something wonderfully delightful to be able to rub something in the pair's faces, especially since the bastards hadn't gotten the same treatment I had at the hands of the cops.

"Fuck you." he growled again much to my delight.

"You two done or you going to keep fucking around?" Troy said with a tired tone that reminded me of former teachers of mine.

"Fuck you, Troy," growled the ever so grumpy Gat.

"Seriously Gat."

"No you're not listening, fuck you." I broke into giggles, earning a glare from the two men and a snicker from Dex who also was enjoying the hell out of this.

"As fun as this show is, you think we could move it along?" Dex asked as he tossed shirts to me and Gat.

"The fuck is this?" Gat asked as he opened it and showed off the Vice Kings logo. The color was actually pretty and I knew I'd look good in it. The two were too engaged in being piss babies that they didn't pay any attention to me as I gave them my back and changed into the shirt. Troy's eyes were glued to my front as I flashed only him with the change, and I went back to watching the pair fight, feeling Troy's eyes on me the whole time.

"Figured out a way to hurt the Kings and put a minimum risk on your asses."

"Okay, but what's that got to do with this and how much murdering do I get to do?"

"None."

"Your plan blows." He tossed the shirt back to Dex.

"Look, King's got something going on with the police, it's why his people ain't getting picked off while everyone else's was."

"Got a list of dirty cops that won't go against King's, so they keep getting paid." Troy's voice was muffled from behind his hands as he tried to block out all the light in the room to stop his head from hurting so much.

"Right, so the two of you are going to cause some chaos in their areas."

"So how much murdering?"

"None. You go out murdering, they're going to have to stop you, but you two fucking shit up while wearing yellow will make people wonder why the fuck the cops ain't stopping you."

"I'm yellow enough as it is, Dex." Johnny whined.

"Just put the damn shirt on." He tossed it back.

"Fine." Gat was sulking already as he eyed it. "Come on, let's get this boring ass shit over with." He practically stomped out of the room. I went to follow him but Troy grabbed my arm.

"Hey, give us a minute."

"Don't let me catch you fucking on my workbench." Dex warned before leaving the room. I gave him the look he deserved for that comment. He gave me a look back and picked at his own shirt, making me wonder if I hadn't been as subtle as I thought when I changed. I flipped Dex off before he left and turned back to Troy. He stood, his hand warm on my back as he pulled me close.

"I miss you." He said softly and moved to kiss me but I moved back from him, hitting the workbench.

"You see me every day." I pointed out to him. "Sometimes a little more than usual." I said cheekily trying to get a blush out of him but it failed as he made some serious eye contact with me.

"You know what I mean." I looked away from him. I didn't know what he wanted from me and honestly, I didn't know what I wanted anymore from him, if anything. Whether he'd like to admit it or not, things were different now. I didn't want to get second thoughts over my plan, even if I missed being held, the stupid way he laughed when we'd watch movies together, or even his stupid snoring when he'd lay on his left side. "I know you asked for space but I'm worried about losing you."

"Troy." I didn't know how to respond to him. I couldn't exactly open up about my plan of offing myself as it would defeat the purpose of hurting people when I did and I doubted he'd let me. Yet at the same time I was hesitant to push him completely away. I guess I liked having him trail after me, his eyes following me when I crossed a room, his little touches when I passed, his annoying habit of checking up on me. I didn't want to be completely alone, and right now I didn't have anyone, except whatever it was I had with him. I didn't want to think about this right now, or ever really; so I did the only thing I could think of and pulled him in for that kiss I had denied. He tried to keep it sweet and slow, playing with my lips, his tongue ever so lightly teasing mine, his hands massaging my back as he worked. I moved my hands down his chest, intending to blow him, or at the very least give him a handjob, it was the least I could do with all the shit I was putting him through. I was surprised when he caught my hands in his and shook his head as he pulled back from the kiss.

"When was the last time you got off? You're always doing me but I haven't once had the chance to return the favor." I could feel my face heating up and looked away from him.

"Not since it happened." I said softly. I hadn't even bothered with that bit of myself, even more than usual. I hadn't felt any urge to get off and if there was an inkling I shut it down. Even when I had toyed with him for information or just to fuck with his head, I had shut down my own arousal. I knew there were other ways I could have proved my points or gotten some information from him but I loved the look on his face when I was playing with his cock. The look he'd get was different than other guys I had been with. I couldn't even begin to describe it, but it always made me feel special, like I was the only girl that could cause that look. Fine, I missed the sex. I missed having his hands on me, missed how he'd make me come before himself, missed how he'd hold me afterwards, like I was something of worth, like I had real value.

"Goddamn it Angel, I don't like being selfish," he said with a growl, confusing me as to his meaning before he tilted my face back to his and started kissing me again. He was more aggressive this time, nipping at my lower lip, his tongue coaxing more of a response as his hands left my waist to cup my ass, pulling me tight against him to let me feel how hard he was. It was like he pulled a trigger on my body as I felt myself responding, aching already. He moved down from my lips to suck at my neck, my hands going to his shoulders as he moved a leg between mine, rubbing against the seam of my jeans in just the right way. His fingers dug into my ass as he rocked me against his thigh, the seam hitting me in the right spot but it wasn't enough, damn it.

"Troy, please," I panted against his neck. I needed more than gods be damned dry humping. He ignored my pleas and continued to just rock against me for a moment so I bit his neck, hard enough to make him groan out a curse. He relented on the rocking moving his thigh away, tapping his foot against mine, making me spread a little wider for him. His hand went between us as he undid my jeans, making eye contact with me as he stopped his actions at my neck to suck on his fingers for a moment before his hand moved lower. He watched me as he moved his slick fingers over me, his thumb circling my clit with a knowing touch. I tightened my grip on him as my pulse raced, my clit throbbing with the beat of my heart as I rocked against his hand.

"Fucking hell Angel, I wish you were wearing a dress, I want to get down on my knees for you. I want to taste how sweet you are." he whispered against my lips as he continued to tease with his light touch. His words made my head swim as the blood left for funner pastures. He teased the very edge of my labia, a light and quick touch of my core before heading back to tease my clit. It wasn't enough for me, I needed his fingers inside of me, I needed the feel of him fucking me with them and he knew it.

"Please," I whimpered against his lips.

"Tell me what you want," he countered. He liked to hear me talk dirty, which always flustered me even more. He pressed his fingers against my entrance ever so slightly, egging me on.

"I need your fingers in me," I whimpered. "I need you to fuck me with them." He rewarded me with sliding them inside, rubbing in just the right way. As he pumped them in me, his thumb circled my clit harder and faster.

"God you're fucking beautiful." he whispered against my ear, nipping my lobe and threading a hand through my hair. "I missed this, you're so fucking beautiful when you come." His words had me whimpering, though that could have been his hand. I wasn't sure. "Come for me Angel, I need to see if it's as good as I remember," he coaxed, the gentle pleading tone in direct contrast to his frantic fingering, which was sending me over the edge. I clung to him, his lips on mine swallowing any sound I was capable of making. He kept it up until I was pulling at his hand, whimpering for no more. I could feel him hard as a rock against my thigh as he shifted to pull his hand out of my pants. I bit my lip as I watched him suck his fingers clean. "Jesus ,I love the way you taste," he told me before giving me a peck on the lips and pulling away. I leaned against the workbench and tried to steady myself. "You should get back to work," he said with a smile as he lit up a cig.

"I don't even think I can walk right now," I snapped at him.

"Now you know how I feel every time you do it to me." He chuckled before coming back over and kissing me again. "You mean a lot to me, Ang. I know shit's fucked right now, just don't push me away." He cradled my cheek, his eyes boring into me as if he was trying to say something without words. I wanted to look away from him, but I couldn't bring myself to for some reason.

After a moment I was able to find my voice again. "I'll think about it," I said lightly, the hurt in his eyes was something I recognized, however. I kissed him to distract myself from wanting to stop that look, he deserved to hurt, they all did. "What about you?" I couldn't help to ask as I felt him pressing against me. His hissing breath amused me as I rubbed my hand over his swollen jeans.

"I can take care of myself. This was about you."

XXX

In the end he hadn't bothered to get himself off. Masturbating Ang in a public setting was a lot different than him whacking off in public, and it always left him feeling like a sad loser. Instead, he had thrown himself into his work, feeding Dex names and locations of the corrupt cops. He didn't like corruption in the system, he knew it was the real reason why shit like gangs always happened. People needed to feel safe, and when the people who were supposed to do that played favorites or straight out murdered you, you couldn't feel safe and you teamed up with others to change that. He wanted to change the whole system, make the cops the good guys again, make it so that gangs wouldn't have to form up. Of course, he knew the biggest obstacle in the way of this goal was his fellow cops. He'd have to get rid of them and one day his boss, too. Everyone knew the chief was on the take, if it wasn't for the fact that it was far too risky, he'd suggest taking out him as well, but that would put the gang in danger.

"Shit, your girl knows how to stir shit up," Dex said as he turned the TV on. There was already a news team covering the destruction Ang and Johnny caused. The news reporter asked all the right questions as the disguised Saints selectively targeted certain cops. "Good idea to get Valadrama to deliver on the story."

"Yeah, she's good like that," he said softly as he watched Ang and Johnny in the background.  _What the hell was he doing?_  He didn't know anymore. Taking out fellow cops to send a message to his bosses and King, cops that were basically the same as him, only he was hiding his corruption. He didn't know what he was doing with Ang anymore, he knew he had to get her out somehow, the idea that Johnny had put in his head last night was still bouncing around.  _Johnny. What the shit was he even doing with Johnny on top of everything?_  He needed to either cut Johnny out of his life or figure shit out because Johnny was going to go away for a long time at this rate. There was only so much he could cover up.

The amount of shit he had already covered for was starting to pile up. He was digging his hole too deep. He wasn't sure he would get out safely anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to HunnybadgerV and chyrstis for helping out as always!


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to my two beta readers, Chyrstis and HunnyBadgerv!

Chapter 41:

Sometimes you didn't take advice until it was too late. Orejuela had warned him about the girl, warned him that if she was anything like her parents. violence ran in her blood and that death was her calling card.

" _That girl is the kid of Benny Cap. You haven't been in the game long enough to know about him. Let me tell you, him and his woman, Diyva, weren't people you crossed lightly. They had a way about them, they were without a doubt the most ruthless couple you'd ever meet. He'd smile at you and charm you while Diyva... well, let's just say she proved that the females are the more vicious of the species."_

At his urging, Orejuela had given him the history of the girl's family, most of which had left him scoffing. No one was that powerful, that skilled, ruthless, charismatic, or deadly. Most of it was laughably over the top, rumors that would follow any good drug baron. What was truth was harder to discern. He had ignored Orejuela's stories but then the girl had started doing things that fell in line with his tales. The dismemberment of Price and delivery of double heads. The literal washing of Sharp. He had noticed crew starting to look up to her much like they did the lieutenants, without her having any real rank besides Troy's girl. He noticed other girls starting to follow suit, the way they were training, they way they dressed, the sudden insubordination coming from them. He didn't like it one bit and trying to take her down a peg wasn't working.

It wasn't working at all.

That was the reason why he was trying not to sweat as she looked him dead in the eye when she got up again.

"That's fucking enough, Julius," Troy growled.

"You need to chill the fuck out," Dex said calmly.

Johnny, on the other hand, just made him angry with his insolent tone. "Yo, seriously the fuck is wrong with you!"

Even his lieutenants were siding with her instead of him. They should have been telling her to back down, not him. They should have had his back when he told them they were going to go rescue King, not lined up in her camp when she said no.

" _You're joking, non? All this time we've been fighting against the Kings and now you want us to save their namesake. Non, we're not doing that, let them kill each other and we'll kill those that remain." Ang announced with a shrug as she nonchalantly threw down three cards. How she suddenly was invited to the poker game was beyond him and why they started before he got there also struck him as odd. Fucking a lieutenant didn't warrant an invitation._

" _Seriously Julius, the fuck you smoking?" Johnny shook his head as he doled out the cards._

_Then they ignored him and went back to their game. They fucking ignored him. He was the leader of the Saints, not this hopped up frog. When he kicked the chair out from under her he expected her to back down. Most reasonable people would have taken a step back and stumbled over themselves with an apology or two but her, no, she just brushed herself off and threw a punch._

The fight between the boss and Ang had been a brutal one. While Ang was one for speed, without her bat she didn't have much power, especially since the backroom they usually played in wasn't very big and didn't allow her use of her legs as the poker table took up most of the room. Julius, on the other hand, was more of a brawler, his punches were similar to a sledgehammer. The trio of lieutenants let them go at it, even Troy, but that was mainly because Gat had subtly grabbed his arm. They all knew that a fight like this had to be sorted out but it didn't make it pleasant for any of them. She held her ground as long as possible but she went down.

Of course, she got back up.

She got back up three times before Julius realized she wasn't going to stay down. Maybe he should have listened to Orejuela after all.

XXX

I glared at Johnny who stepped between us as I got to my feet again. I wasn't going to let Julius beat me, he had started this fight and I was going to finish it. I didn't care how many times he put me down, my father always told me to never lose a fight, especially to someone like him. His type always lorded over you when they won.

"Move Johnny," I snarled but was held back by Troy. I struggled against his hold on my arms, I didn't like being held back especially since the way he was holding me left me open and vulnerable.

"Alright how about we all calm the fuck down?" Dex, ever the voice of reason, was saying as he stood between Johnny and Julius, giving us all dirty looks. "One of you got to back down a-"

"And it won't be me." I yelled over Dex, stepping on Troy's foot and making him let me go.

"Goddamnit Ang," he hissed and pushed me behind him before I could go after Julius again.

"Calm your fucking woman down," Julius snapped from behind Johnny. I felt Troy stiffen before his arms loosened. I almost smiled before launching myself at Julius again. I ducked around Johnny and got in a lucky hook to Julius' kidney. He got in a jab to the side of my face, I could hear the blow echoing in my head, much like a flesh-wrapped hammer pelting a wall. I was off my feet again, only this time it was Johnny throwing me into Troy.

"Alright look, neither of you stupid ass motherfuckers are going to back the fuck down, so how about the two of you just call it a fucking draw?" Johnny said more to Julius, who wasn't taking it well, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what he was saying as my ears were ringing. That bastard could hit, that was for sure. Troy cradled my face in his hands, tipping my chin up. I knew he was checking for signs of a concussion, Julius may hit hard but nowhere near hard enough to give me one. Troy's concern was sweet though.

"I'm okay." I took his hands in mine and moved them away from my face with a small smile after giving them a little kiss.

"How about she fucks out of my gang?" I overheard Julius huff like the whiny man-baby he was. I rolled my eyes so hard I hurt myself. I pushed Troy out of my way and glared at Julius.

"What, you're going to throw someone who's actually useful out of the gang? I mean, what the fuck do you even do? You may defend the church once in awhile but who does most of the work? We do," I snapped, motioning at the guys. "Seriously, the fuck do you even do?"

XXX

Just like that Julius realized he was going to lose what he had built. He knew that look on his lieutenants faces. He could hear the death knell of his reign as leader of the Saints. Ben always told him there was more to running a gang than he thought, he didn't get it at the time. A leader inspires others, makes their people want to be like them.

_Benny Cap was a natural leader. Wouldn't be surprised if his little girl is the same. Certainly looks like her father._

XXX

I didn't know what that look in Julius' eyes meant, but I didn't like it. There was something shady in that look, something bordering on Machiavellian, which I didn't quite understand.

"I do more than you'll ever understand, little girl."

I raised a brow at him. "You do realize without heels I'm half a foot taller than you." Snark probably wasn't the best response at the moment but I couldn't resist pointing it out and getting a kick out of the look on Julius' face. "Hell, you're the shortest one in the room, even Dex is taller than you." I smiled as Julius got darker with anger. Johnny grinned behind him, Troy muttered my name in exasperation, and Dex shoved himself between Julius and I before we could start fighting again. I could keep going but I knew the old man couldn't. He was already sweating.

"Alright you two, knock it off. Ang go and collect King, we're going to decide what's going to happen to him." Dex gave Julius a look and cut him off. "Look, you need to explain what you were thinking Jules, we've been taking down every motherfucker out here and not once have you talked about giving anyone an out. You owe us an explanation."

XXX

They were all turning against him. He wasn't going to let these motherfuckers get away with this. This was his gang. No one else's. Julius' mind was already running through how he was going to get back at them for this. His gaze fell on Troy. He almost smiled. They'd all pay, courtesy of the little bitch's own boyfriend.

XXX

Finding King was actually pretty easy in the end. I just had to follow the parade of yellows trying to take down one car. It was almost impressive as King stood his ground taking out so many of his people. Still, how shit of a leader was he that so many were willing to turn like that? I shook my head as I considered the crowd ahead of me. It would be easier if I just let the gang finish him off. I didn't care what reasoning Julius had, it was stupid to spare one gang leader that would probably stab us in the back later.

I sighed heavily, what did it really matter? I wouldn't be around to see the long term. I plowed through the unwitting idiots too busy trying to kill King to notice me, my car rocking as it almost went up on two wheels when I swerved right in front of King.

"One pick up, courtesy of the fucking Saints, for some fucking asinine reason," I yelled at King over the hail of gunfire. For a moment I thought he'd just stare at me with that wide-eyed look of surprise before he clambered into my car, barely squeezing his bulky frame in.

"Drive."

"Well that was the fucking plan but now that you mention it, maybe I'll just stay right here," I snapped before putting my foot on the gas.

King leaned half out my window as he fired at the people following us. He was a much better shot than I could ever be and took out our attackers with haste and precision. One shot was definitely impressive as he took out the tires of a rather gaudy car, causing it to spin out of control and crash. The rest of the gang seemed to suddenly dissipate after that. Must have been the betrayer.

"You can cool it with the speed, and, for fuck's sake, stop jerking the wheel so much." I slammed on the brakes, making King hit the dashboard with his big-ass forehead.

"You give me one more order and so help me gods-"

"Gods?"

"Yes gods, as in more than one, and I will kick your fat ass out of my car!" He gave me a look, it was probably meant to cow me but I met his eyes and glared right back at him.

"Got some spunk in you, don't you girl?" His tone was almost amused.

"Call me girl again and I shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll be tasting my polish."

XXX

I was still pissed at King and Julius, with their bullshit attitude and their stupid looks and stupid faces. I was currently taking it out on a pool table and glaring at Johnny.

"The ball goes in the hole, not on the other side of the room. Shit don't you know how to handle a stick?" He was giving me that cocky smile that just made me more angry in my agitated state. I glared at him as he put the ball I had accidentally launched for the third time off the table in a spot that let him sink another ball.

"If you make one joke about me handling your stick, I will shove this so far up your ass," I growled at Troy as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, he might like that," Johnny teased, and for some reason Troy blushed as he glared at him.

"Fuck you, Gat," Troy snapped. Johnny just waggled his eyebrows at him, which interestingly made Troy go more red as his body tensed a bit. I didn't have time to question it as the sound of Julius and King talking grabbed my attention. My hand tightened on the stick and only when I heard the wood whine did I realize I was about to break it. I wanted to go over there and bash Julius' smug face in. I hated that ignorant asshole. What the fuck did he even do for the gang?

"I'm going home," I informed the guys, handing Troy the pool cue. I needed to calm down, I knew that logically but I still wanted to punch his face in.

"You want company?" Troy offered.

I bit my lip as I looked at him. There were so many ways I could use him to calm down, non? "Only if you're good, amant garçon," I teased him earning a smile out of him.

"For you I might be," he said softly as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my temple before throwing the stick to Gat. He kept his arm around me, moving it from my shoulders to my waist as we walked.

"Yo, Troy, you make sure your girl there shows up in proper clothes tomorrow, she's looking like one of the working girls bending over tables like that," Julius said loudly as we passed by. My face burned with embarrassment and anger. Troy turned and looked at him.

"You know, one of these days, I ain't going to be around to stop her from bashing your face in," Troy growled, "And that's if you're lucky, you've seen her work. At this point I might even cheer her on to do another seven." The look on Julius face had me quietly cackling as we walked to my car. I didn't need him to fight my battles but damn it felt good to have someone in my corner.

XXX

I pushed Troy against the door as soon as I closed it, my lips on his before he could open his mouth. His hands burrowed in my hair, pulling me closer, mine were busy working on his belt and stupid buttons.

"I think we should slow it down a bit," he said between kisses.

"Pourquoi?" I pulled him away from the door and pushed him down on the bed. "Why?" I repeated at his look as I climbed atop him. I loved the look in his eyes, how concern and lust battled for supremacy as I pulled my top off showing off my lacy white bra. Lust won out as his hands trailed up my arms and fingered the straps before moving to cup my breasts. He pushed me down onto his legs so he could sit up as he removed my bra.

"You have the loveliest tits, Angel," he informed me as he pressed his lips to them. I ran my fingers through his hair which made him groan as he played.

"You can be a little rougher, I'm not as sensitive anymore," I had to say after a few minutes of his too light touches. He pulled away and looked guilty as he ran his hands over my back, a gesture that was more comforting than sexual.

"Ang we don't have to fuck, you know, we co-"

"Gods, Troy, I just wanted you to fuck me, I'm not glass, I'm not going to fucking break," I snapped. He grabbed my hips to keep me from getting off him.

"Angel, I just don't want to hurt you." I gave him a look as I tried not to bitterly point out it was a little late for that.

"Do you want to fuck or not?" I asked as I rubbed his hard-on through his jeans.

"I'd rather make love to you."

I was tempted to roll my eyes at the sudden sappiness. "Can you put your mouth to better use already?" I felt my face flame. I hated that I couldn't get into dirty talk out with blushing.

He grinned at me before pushing me onto the bed. I watched him as he disrobed, I was happy to see that our little talk hadn't affected his cock. It stood, jutting out, the head completely unsheathed in his eagerness. He knelt in front of me, his hand going under my skirt to grip my panties and pull them down slowly, placing kisses along my leg as he went. I put my hands over his when he gripped the waistband of my high waisted skirt. "I'd rather leave it on," I said after a moment. "The scar isn't pretty."

"Ang, I've seen it already and it's not as bad as you think it is." He pressed a kiss to my thigh. "At the hospital, you showed me," he prompted when I frowned at him.

"Oh." I felt like an idiot. Again. I lifted my hips up so that he could get the skirt off, my legs perched on his shoulder as he tossed it aside. He kept them there as he pressed a kiss to the side of my leg as he looked at the scar.

"It's not as bad as you think it is, I've seen worse. Hell, I have worse." He grinned at me.

"You don't have scars," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I do." He pulled me up and put my hand on his tattoo on his arm and rubbed. He normally guided my hands away from it, so it was the first time I ever noticed the scar. "Didn't like looking at it, so got it tatted up." He kissed me. "You could do the same thing, not going to lie though, it'll hurt like a bitch there."

"Couldn't hurt more than this." I tapped the one on my neck.

"I still can't believe you got that." Another kiss. "You won't be a Saint forever."

I shrugged and ran my fingers over his own Saint tattoo."What about you?"

He gazed down at it with something akin to regret in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something but instead he kissed me. He kissed me hard, putting a lot of effort into it before pulling away and moving my leg to his other shoulder and gripping my hips. I wouldn't say he dived but as suddenly he had been kissing me he was now eager to kiss my nether lips. He watched my reaction as he licked my clit, making me gasp. I leaned back to watch him as he sucked on my lips and tongued the entrance before slowly sinking two of his fingers in me. He went to work on my clit, sucking, licking, and gentle nibbling as his fingers fucked me. I was soon burying my hands in his hair, begging softly for more.

"Non, don't stop!" I practically cried when he pulled away right before I could come.

"I want to feel you come on my cock, Angel," he said as he stood and went to reach in the nightstand. "Where's all the rubbers?"

"I threw them out," I said after a moment. "I can't get pregnant remember?"

"I know, I just." He looked conflicted. "I haven't fucked without one for years." He shook his head. "I'm clean, so, it's okay?" he said more to himself than me as he got on the bed urging me over a bit.

"Why wouldn't it be?" I asked as I pushed him to his back. It was funny how no matter how conflicted he was, his cock wasn't. His hands rubbed my thighs as I lined him up and sank on to his cock.

Oh gods.

He felt so different without that usual thin barrier, so warm, so good and going from how tight his fingers were on me, I think he felt the same way. I rocked gently on him, it felt different than before and to be honest it was distracting. I couldn't help comparing and thinking and wondering if it was even good for him. I mean what was the point anymore? I couldn't get pregnant and sex was supposed to be about procreation according to school growing up. I was thinking so much that this wasn't doing anything for me anymore.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked as he gripped my hips hard enough to still me.

"I-" How was I going to explain it to him? I leaned down and buried my face in his shoulder. "Sorry."

"You're overthinking this, aren't you?" I nodded. "Here, let me just." He rolled us so that I was on my back. It was a position I rarely used because of the pain. Pain that was gone along with my uterus. He went up on his elbows and kissed me, his chest hair tickling my tits as he moved slowly. It felt a lot different than a moment ago, and the sensation left me gasping. "Better?" he asked between kisses.

I nodded, not trusting words as he fucked me. Between his kisses and the near constant eye contact, I didn't have a chance to fuck it up with more thinking, especially when he reached between us to rub my clit. I wrapped my legs around him as I came hard enough to see stars. He raised up, lifting my hips from the bed as he fucked me like a piston, the sound of flesh slapping flesh echoing in the small room. He buried his face against my neck, biting me hard as he came.

Usually I'd relax afterwards, enjoy post-coital bliss but the sensation of his come made me sick to my stomach. No, that wasn't the thing making me sick. It was my own stupid mind. Of all things, I thought of my father, his reaction to finding me in bed with two guys-I couldn't even remember their names-how he berated me, informed me that to guys like that I was nothing more than a cum dump.

"Move."

XXX

Troy winced as he listened to her puke again through the thin door. He pushed her too fast, he knew he should have just talked her out of sex and settled for eating her out and blue balling himself. He could also hear her crying softly in there, the sound muffled as she tried to hide it, but he still heard it. He wished she'd open the door, let him comfort her at the very least. He frowned when his phone dinged and went searching in his pants for the device, cursing when he saw the message was from Mike. He cursed more when he was reamed out after he asked to delay the meeting.

"Angel, I got to see my sponsor, I'm sorry," he said lamely.

"Bien, go."

With her muffled reply, guilt rode him as he got dressed. He comforted himself with the thought of how soon he wouldn't have to sneak away to meet that asshole. How soon enough he'd be free of the gang. He was going to request a transfer when he was done. Maybe take Ang up to New Jersey. No, his mother would hate her and only people from Jersey liked it. Maybe New York? She might like it there with all the fancy stores and neverending nightlife.

Troy was deep enough in thoughts of the future, he didn't notice the car trailing him as he drove, nor how the car parked but no one got out.

"Of all the fucking broads to fuck around with, you pick the one that got me a fucking visit from the Feebees," Mike snapped as soon as he sat down before he could even order a coffee. There was a thick folder on the table between them. Mike waved Troy to go ahead and open it. The first photo took him a minute to piece together what he was looking at. First he thought it was one of those weird abstract art pieces that sold for millions but then he realized it was a crime scene, mostly due to the caption sticker that let him know the mess had been six men. He turned to the next one and it made him wince. It was almost like the scene from Ang's murder of Vince. One thing that stuck out to him though were small hand prints close to the floor ...

He was confused as to why he was looking through this, there were dozens of murder photos, and he flipped through them until he hit a photo of a couple. The woman was small compared to the man, an almost delicate beauty to her, her smile warm and pleasant. Something about her was familiar. The man was tall and carried himself in a way that made his skin crawl. It was the dead look in his eyes, this man could butcher him without breaking a sweat. The next picture made him realize why the woman looked familiar. These were Ang's parents, while Babette had inherited her mother's looks, Ang had her father's ginger hair and hooked nose.

"You've got to be kidding me," Troy said after a moment having connected the dots after reading the dossier on Divya and Benedict Capulet. Interpol and several other government agencies had never able to connect them to any of their activities. The pair had been beyond good at covering their tracks, any evidence that had ever been found was never linked to them.

"Feebees have been looking for the girl, they want to use her for bait in sting of one of the bosses that took over after her parents retired," Mike said around a mouthful of pancakes.

"Yeah, no, that's not happening." He closed the file, drumming his fingers on the table as he tried to figure out how to word what needed to be said.

"They're paying good money for info on her." Right, Mike was a greedy son of a bitch.

"You know she's the sole heir of her family fortune, right?" Troy drawled out as he lit up a smoke. "And right now I got her wrapped around my finger, seems a shame to waste that, doesn't it?"

"What you got in mind?"

"That law still on the books that spouses can't testify against each other?" Mike gave him a look.

"You're fucking nuts, marry the broad?" Mike looked at him like he had lost his mind. Maybe he really had, but he refused to lose Ang.

"Come on, it's a waste for a nice piece of ass to rot away in a prison, plus, think of all that money."

"That's all she is to you? A piece of ass?"

"Come on, like I'd actually give a shit about someone like her." Troy shrugged off the words like they were nothing even as he winced inside.

"So what happens when she turns on you after finding out you're a cop?"

"I throw her in the loony bin with her sister. I got her locked up there right now. Figure you know a judge that'd 302 her until she agrees to do what she's told." Mike didn't seem to be bothered by the idea which just pissed Troy off. How goddamn morally corrupt could someone be?

XXX

I was curled up in bed when I heard Troy come back in. I hadn't thought he would be back to be honest. I wouldn't have come back, if I was him. I wanted to leave myself and never come back. I wanted to disappear after what happened earlier.

The bed dipped as he laid down, but he didn't bounce as much as he used to. He was trying not to wake me, why did he have to start being considerate? He cuddled up to me, the warmth of his bare skin comforting as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me tight. He kissed my nape and whispered something that I couldn't make out. I listened to him breathe, waiting for him to fall asleep but he seemed to be as wide awake as I was. After a few minutes I turned over to look at him.

"I woke you up again, didn't I?" he grumbled. "I tried to be quieter, sorry."

"I was awake, it's okay," I reassured him. He cupped my cheek and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.

"You okay?" I nodded and cuddled against him. He petted my hair, the sound of his breathing lulling me to sleep. "I was thinking," it was hard to hear him as softly as he was speaking, "maybe we should get married."

"WHAT?" I pulled away from him like he had burned me. He sat up and clicked on the lamp making me blink from the sudden light. When I could see again without blinking, he had a ring box in his hand. I watched him open it to see a silver ring with a teal stone. He had remembered my favorite color and that I didn't like gold. I felt tears prick at my eyes as I looked at it. How dare he?

"Angelique, would you marry me?" he asked, his voice clear this time.

I looked up at him, feeling sick to my stomach. How dare he give me hope of life? Non, I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to let him give me hope. I had a plan. No one was going to ruin it.

"Get out."

XXX

Troy was taken back by her tone. Aren't most women happy being asked the big question? She had tears fresh again in her eyes as she glared at him. "Angel?"

"Get out!" she shrieked at him, her normally husky voice hitting a high note that made him wince. She pushed him off the bed. "Get out! Get out!" she kept yelling at him and pushed him out the door and slammed it shut. He could hear her engage the locks.

"Ang! Open the door!" He pounded on the door but she only turned on music that was probably drowning him out. "Fuck." He leaned his head against the door completely confused about what just happened. He vainly tried the door again. What the fuck was he supposed to do, standing outside her place buck naked? Goddamnit.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: As always thank you to my two beta readers, Chyrstis and HunnyBadgerv!

Chapter 42

My head pounded. I knew it wasn't from the blaring music as I could sleep through anything, so it must have been from the vodka bottle that I was clutching next to me. It took me a moment to remember why I had downed the whole thing.

That _putain connard_ had proposed to me. I turned over to look at the state of my room. Our clothes were scattered everywhere, my cabinets still open from my rage-fueled search. I wanted to erase what had just happened. Gods, I was too much like my father.

I still couldn't believe he proposed. _What the hell was wrong with him?_

The ring still lay in the box on the floor. I couldn't help picking it up and looking it over. It was plain in a way, the silver band smooth with no decorations and the teal stone set into it instead sticking out. I almost smiled as I thought about how nice it would lay under gloves or keep from getting caught in my hair. When I pulled it out of the box, I noticed he had the inside of it engraved.

_Forever my Angel_

I rolled my eyes at the engraving and couldn't resist trying it on. Gods be damned, it fit perfectly. I rubbed my finger over the ring as I sat there staring into space. I wanted to be a coward and take him up on his offer and just let him whisk me away from all this. I clenched my hand, the metal of the ring making me flinch. I shoved the ring back in the box and tossed it across the room, listening to it clatter with some satisfaction.

 _Marry him? Non, that was stupid._ I would stick to my plan, and the fact he wanted to marry me filled me with guilt when I thought about how heartbroken he'd be. Non, I couldn't feel guilty, I wouldn't. He never showed me he cared enough for something like this, you couldn't just suddenly spring shit like this on someone without prior affection. Too bad I hadn't thought about it before kicking him out.

Or would he? He never did say he loved me. I wasn't naive enough to believe everyone married out of love. My hand drifted to my newest scar. Non, there were other reasons people got married, like guilt. I wasn't about to soothe his pain and trap myself in a one-sided relationship and I wasn't going to be like Maman and step out on him, even if he deserved it. He'd probably be relieved that I was gone. The thought depressed me more than I realized was possible.

I pushed all these thoughts aside, and got showered and dressed, making sure to put on something that would piss off Julius even more. I tested the length of my skirt as I sat and smiled. Oh yes, he'd hate this outfit. I'd be more careful where I fought if he tried me again. I tidied up my room, wondering where Troy had ended up going since I kicked him out without his clothes last night. I snickered at the thought of his pale ass glowing in the street lights as he tried to get home.

I pushed thoughts of him away yet again. He occupied too much of my mind lately, it was probably normal, the mind's last attempt at clinging to something to keep the end from coming. Speaking of, I had to cross "Kill King" from my list since now suddenly he was best fucking friends with Julius. The poor list looked so abused with lines everywhere and having been reordered at least four times before. I should probably rewrite it, but its sloppiness was kind of grounding. Nothing was simple and neat, was it?

I was lost in thought when I opened the door and was caught off guard by Troy—a naked, furious—looking Troy. Apparently he had decided not to grace my neighborhood with what would have been in glow-in-the-dark, white ass.

He pushed his way inside, slamming the door shut and then me against it. He wrapped his arms around me trapping me there as he brought his lips down on mine, his kiss was harsh and angry as he bit at them.

"You ever pull a stunt like that again, I will smack your ass until it's redder than your hair," he said in a growling tone. "Now what the fuck was that about?" His tone was more gentle, his hand going to my face to run his thumb over my lower lip.

"Get off of me, you oaf," I snapped at him, pushing him away.

"Angel, I'm warning you."

"The fuck you going to do about it?" I snapped. My skin flushed with heat from my rage, he should have just left like a sane fucking person, while at the same time my veins ran with icy dread that he would break my will with this faux caring of his. "Just get out of my life! I don't want you!" I yelled at him. I didn't want the attachment anymore, I didn't want him talking me out of this. He was ruining everything. He was making me weak when I needed to stand strong. I just wanted to finish all of this already. He just stood there, his face blank as he watched me. I couldn't read him at all, I didn't like it. I wanted to scream at him some more but I aimed a punch at his head instead.

Without a bat in hand, I knew my arms weren't the most effective weapon, he knew it, too, proving it when he caught my fist and yanked me forward. I braced myself to fall but he caught me, his arm going around my waist. He didn't put me back on my feet like I expected, but rather held me against his hip at an odd angle, his reason became clear as his hand came down on my ass.

"Quoi la baise?!"1 I yelled when he spanked me again.

"Well, I fucking warned you, Angel," he snapped and spanked me again. The angle and the way he held me kept me from gaining any real footing and getting out of his hold. I reached behind me to try and pinch his ass in revenge as I felt mine getting heated from the repeated blows, but his stupid flat ass didn't have enough fat on it to get a good grip on it and he just spanked me harder in retaliation.

"Pervert! You're getting off on this!" I accused when my movement to get away from him revealed to me that he was starting to get hard, a fact that left my mind as yet another spank was delivered. It started to hurt, my ass felt like it was on fire, the stinging, sharp pain making me tear up. No one had ever spanked me before. I didn't like it at all.

"Oh, I'm the pervert?" he growled at me, "You're soaking right through your lace." He stopped the horrible stinging blows as his fingers caressed my heated bottom, trailing down to rub over said lace.

"Shut up!" My ass and face were surely as red as my hair by now.

"I had no idea you liked being spanked, Angel. You didn't have to be so bad if that's what you wanted," he said in a teasing tone before spanking me again. He hit me lighter this time, a teasing blow that still made me jump since my bottom was so sensitive by now.

"Fuck off!" I snarled as viciously as I could, but to be honest, it didn't have much force behind it. I felt weak, like something was breaking inside of me and I didn't know what.

"You want me to stop? I mean, you seem to be having a good time," he said in a teasing tone, his fingers pushing aside my thong and inside me suddenly. My toes curled as I gasped at the intrusion, the intrusion that had been greatly helped by the fact that I was soaked. He moved his fingers against that sweet spot, his thumb going down to my clit at the same time.

"Vas te faire fourte2!" I moaned the words more than anything, I couldn't find the strength to yell at him, weak in his grip. My nails dug into the arm holding me in place, I wanted to dig them in until he was bleeding, instead I clung to him as emotions crashed over me. I couldn't stop the tears that were coming from me each time he pulled his fingers away and spanked me, I couldn't stop the feeling of coming apart at the seams, nor the feeling of being completely helpless. "Stop, please," I begged as I couldn't stand the feelings anymore. Just like that, he stopped and put me back on my feet the right way. I clung to him, feeling weaker than I ever had.

He brushed my hair away from my face, kissing my tears off my cheeks before picking me up and taking me over to the bed, laying me down on it. He pulled the blanket over me, tucking me in before getting dressed himself. He didn't say anything as he moved around my tiny place and made me coffee, he made it the way I liked it, too. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on, but part of me was quiet and that was okay.

XXX

Unfortunately Julius apparently grew some common sense and didn't say shit to me when I rolled up to the church. I was still unsettled with what happened with Troy and had looked forward to a fight, hoping for another chance to kick his ass. Or to at least do it better this time. Gods, I had been an idiot, starting the fight in such a bad location. Papa always said everything comes down to location. I wondered what else it came down to according to him …

I shifted uncomfortably with thoughts of Papa, I hated him for what he did to me. I shouldn't be standing here listening to two assholes, (Julius and King), coming up with a plan to take out Tanya while Johnny kept whining about it taking too long. I should have been in Russia complaining about the cold and trying to figure out the best way to blend in with all the white while standing out just enough to be noticed. Papa had hated that, he wanted me to shine, to take center stage, he always railed at me for not doing more. He hadn't understood that I couldn't push my way like he wanted to. I had to be careful, always so careful to be the right type of nice. He didn't understand how tiring it was.

" _You are a Capulet, Angelique, stop bowing to the whims of idiots and live your life. Gods know we have enough money to deal with whatever consequences come."_ His words came to me as the others droned , now I remember why I never took his advice. Money had caused so many of my problems, so many of Papa's problems. Of course, my biggest problems had been caused by my lack of money. I wondered what would happen to my family's money with my death. I was spiteful enough to not want it to go to Babette, who would just shoot it up. Perhaps I would call the family lawyer before I finished myself off.

"Oh come on, that's the stupidest shit I've heard all week and I got to hear your ass speak," Johnny snarked at King, trying to push him into a fight, most likely out of boredom. I pinched the bridge of my nose. By time these idiots finished, I'd actually be able to access my money myself.

XXX

"I'd offer you a smoke but I doubt you'd be allowed one with that," Troy said, motioning to the restraining cuffs securing Babette to the table. They used a similar cuff style with dangerous suspects at the police station, but the cuffs they had on her were made of fabric and wouldn't leave her bleeding. From the way she was glaring at him, he was glad for them, she had a look of murder about her. She hadn't said a word to him, just stared at him with cold eyes that looked nothing like Ang's warm ones. In fact, under the bright lighting of the room, not much about her looked like Ang, from her green eyes, black hair, and skin that was just a few shades darker than his own. She looked like one of those creepy dolls his mom always had on the shelves next to the clowns. He prefered Ang's more lifelike appearance, with her supposedly warm undertones. He didn't get what she meant when she was explaining the difference after he suggested the wrong shade as she was picking up makeup at the store. He thought she looked good in any color, but she informed him that he was completely wrong.

Troy had to give it to Babette, she was good at keeping quiet. Most women would have said something in the last five minutes they'd been sitting here. But, no, she just stared at him, making him increasingly uncomfortable. He never thought that he wouldn't be able to stand silence around a woman.

"So, how they treating you in here?" Troy asked after several long minutes.

She only raised an eyebrow at his question. "What do you want, cochon3?" she finally asked. "You didn't come here to check up on me and you damn sure haven't told Angelique yet since you're still walking."

"You know, your sister seems to care a lot about you, but you don't seem to give a shit about her. If it was my little sister in trouble, I'd be bending over backwards to help her."

She narrowed her eyes at him as he puffed on his cigarette. "I told her when I left I was done taking care of her, she was on her own. I can't help if she's a sentimental fool."

"She's your sister," Troy said, flabbergasted.

"And? You act like family is sacrosanct," she scoffed at him.

He put out his cigarette in disgust, he couldn't believe this bitch. How did someone end up this fucked up?

"Fine, you don't want to help your sister, I'll take care of her."

She snorted in amusement. "Sure, you will, cochon. I can just see you settling down with little Angelique now, picket smog colored fence, a house barely still standing, in the suburbs, of course, and her knocked up every year for at least five years. I've known men like you all my life. You want to protect the little woman because she's not capable of it. I can tell you now, she'll never be yours and you'll die long before her." She grinned at him. The light in her eyes unsettled him. He wasn't going to argue with her, people like her only heard what they wanted.

"Whatever. Just tell me what this says." He put the list he took off of Ang's fridge in front of her. The list first popped up a week or so before Sharp was killed, its contents slowly crossed off one by one since then. He couldn't read her handwriting too well, nor the French, but he could make out the man's name, and this morning, King's name. He wasn't sure, but he thought his own was there- second to the last entry. Babette picked up the note with her cuffed hands lowering her face to read it better. He could hear her mutter something about bad penmanship. Beyond that he couldn't understand her words. She went completely still and silent after a moment, and he thought he could see her eyes become shiny with tears.

"Dernière étape, souffler ma tête exactement comme Papa a fait4," she said, the horror clear in her voice. She started struggling against her bindings, pulling at them like … well, like a madwoman as she began to scream in what was probably French. He swore he could hear the material start to rip and stood up. Crazies were always strong when they went into a mania.

"Shit, calm down, just tell me what it says," he tried to calm her, but she just yelled louder, making an orderly come storming in the room. She pulled her arms so hard he thought he heard something pop, and when she couldn't free her arms, she started using her head and teeth, headbutting them when they got closer and one she even got his arm when he went to grab her. A few more orderlies came in, trapping her with too many to fight, finally holding her down on the table and jabbing a needle into her ass.

"It's okay Moira, you're safe here, just take a few breaths, that's it, kid," one of the orderlies said as her movements became sluggish and eventually stopped. "We're going to take her back to her room and give her some quiet time, maybe check in on her later, 'kay?" Babette's mouth was moving and the orderly bent down and frowned at her words as her eyes slid closed.

"Anything making sense?" Troy asked after a moment.

"All I can get out of it is something about an angel going to hell or something? Like I said, come back later, the tranq will probably have her out for the rest of today and most of tomorrow."

XXX

"Okay what the fuck was that?" King snapped at me as I got out of the car. "We had a plan, a well-designed plan that would have saved us all this trouble."

"It was a shit plan," I said as I stepped over the body that had flown off the hood when I hit the brakes.

Johnny chuckled behind me as he got out. "I like your plan so much better," he said with a grin. "It's got a certain finesse to it that you just can't beat."

After listening to King and Julius plan for hours, they finally had decided the best thing was to sneak into the building that Tanya was hold up in. With Williams' death, the gang was starting to fall apart and no one wanted to give her time to bring it to a heel. The three of us─Johnny, King and I─were suppose to take one of the cars stolen from a VK and get in without too much notice and then sneak up to the penthouse and take her down.

 _I didn't have time for that shit._ Well, I mean I did, but gods be damned, the whole thing was too boring for mine and Johnny's taste. He complained the whole time during the planning until Julius told him point blank to shut up or he'd not be going. He then proceeded to complain as soon as Julius was out of earshot. After about five minutes of driving with a sulky, pouty Gat, I decided it was much better to change the plan than to listen to him whine. Instead of driving calmly to the building, I had put my foot down and drove into it, taking out the crew who had been in the lobby.

"It got the job done. She's in the penthouse and she's not going to hobble down all these floors in those heels of hers," I informed King as I hit the button for the elevator.

"Just watch yourself, girl."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm going to skullfuck that bitch," Johnny said as he got in the elevator after me with a big ass grin on his face. King didn't look amused.

"Hope you don't mind hepatitis," I said with a straight face. King glared, less amused now.

"Oh, you're so funny." Johnny grinned widely. When he kicked open the doors to the office, Tanya just gave the three of us a look and swung her legs up on the table. So, not classy.

"Some guys just never get enough of me," she said with a cocky look as she gave the men a once-over.

"Good thing I'm not a guy then," I said as I raised my borrowed gun. King wanted to give her a chance to surrender, but I just wanted my father's gun back, and it was right there on the table.

"And I've had more than my fill, bitch," Johnny growled at her.

"It's over, girl. You're not gonna be able to fuck your way out of this one."

"That's cute, sweetie. That's just precious," Tanya said as she spun in the chair slightly so she could get up and reach down for an assault rifle she kept under the desk. She didn't get a chance to fire as the three of us opened up first. King was probably the one who actually hit her as she went through the window. Both Johnny and him went over to talk to her as she was hanging on the ledge, their words lost to me as I picked up the gun I had been looking for. My father's gun engraved with Maman's name and vines on the grip. The vines were clean now, the little curves didn't have any telltale signs of blood that I hadn't been able to clean off, or more accurately unwilling to clean, like somehow it would erase Papa completely in a way. But Tanya had had no problem destroying the last bit of him that I had.

I stroked my thumb across that engraving as my heart sped up. Item two was finally done. There was only one thing left.

Only one.

1What the fuck?

2Go fuck yourself.

3Pig.

4Last step, blow my head off like Papa did.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to hunnybadgerv and chyrstis. You two are amazing!

 

I stroked my fingers over the vines on the stock of Papa's gun. He had this gun my whole life, often stroking his fingers just like this over them. He said they reminded him of my mother, her beauty and blood. I never understood what he meant; he would ramble strange things when he was drunk, mostly his thoughts often on her. It was funny how he cared more about her after she died. I wonder if that happened to everyone? Would anyone care when I was gone or would I just fade from memory as easily as last night's dinner?

I wanted to go over my list again, but I was avoiding the fridge, not even looking at it, and in my tiny place, it was hard. I've never had any of my plans actually come together. I never really thought any of it would, did I? That's why I always made my lists, always kept myself from actually doing what I wanted to do. I was scared.

Non. I was terrified.

I wasn't a Catholic anymore, but the fear of Hell was enough to stay my hand. I didn't know what to do. I felt lost. I wanted to talk to someone, but my unfortunate talk with Doc Brown had left me shaken. I knew it was wrong to do the stuff I had been doing: the drug running, the robberies, the outright gleeful and brutal murders. I knew they were wrong, but that hadn't stopped me; that hadn't bothered me. It didn't bother anyone else around me either. Doc Brown was the first person that expressed any negativity towards what I was doing.

For everyone around me, this life was normal, and for me, this life here felt more alive than anything I knew. I felt like I belonged in a way, like I had found my place in the violence and chaos, like it was in my blood. My gaze fell on the gun again. _In my blood._ I tossed it into my drawer and slammed it shut. My hands shook as I took deep breaths.

_Seven in, four out._

I would calm down. I would think through all of this and I would be okay.

 _You're no better than your parents, a bloody, ruthless killer._ Of course because I was trying to calm myself my brain would happily give me a repeat of Doc Brown's words. I hated my brain sometimes.

She had hissed those words at me right before she hung up. I didn't understand. _Why would she say something like that to me? What did she even mean?_ She had been my therapist since I was thirteen, I thought that I could trust her.

Non. That wasn't true, I lied to her a lot. Not lied per se, but rather omitted stuff, like Papa's drinking. I had always been ashamed of it, like it was my fault. I could never make him happy like Gabe did, that sainted asshole brother of mine. I didn't remember much of him, but I recalled how much I disliked him with his tendency to rip off the heads of my dolls, and to tease me until I cried.

I had no one left from my old life who I could turn to. I was alone. Just me and that damned list. I gave in, going to look at the list but found my heart in my throat.

It wasn't on the fridge. I searched my tiny kitchen area, picking up the coffee cups from yesterday that hadn't been cleaned yet, then the teal and white breadbox as paper could slip under it but nothing. I checked under the little throw rug, perhaps it fell off but no.

Dread crawled down my spine as I got down and checked under the fridge. Nothing was there, not even crumbs thanks to the cleaning crew Troy had in my place. The list wasn't here.

The cleaning crew!

My trash still hadn't been picked up as the city had shitty service, I hoped it was still there as I ran up the stairs, my heels clacking loudly as I ran up the stairs to the street. I threw up a hand, shielding my eyes from the dying light. Say what you wanted about my hovel, I did get a nice scene at sunset. I breathed a sigh of relief that greeted when my eyes adjusted. My trash and recycling were still there fortunately.

My nose scrunched up.

My trash and recycling were still there unfortunately. In the sweltering heat, the smell was nauseating. Maybe I could make a new list? Non, that wouldn't work. I couldn't remember what had been on the list to begin with, which was why I made the list, so I wouldn't forget. I reached out with disgust before a thought popped in my head.

_It had been on the fridge this morning._

It had been there. I had checked it after my shower before Troy came in and… My face heated with the memory. I pushed the thought aside. Troy had to have my list.

_Fuck. Troy had my list._

My heart pounded as I imagined him reading it. He would see my soul bared on that list, my self notes, my plans, all laid out rather messily before him. Anxiety crawled over me. No one had ever seen one of my lists before. I would read them to Doc Brown but she never saw the actual lists, mainly because she couldn't read French.

I started laughing to myself as I backed away from the noxious trash.

 _The idiot can't even speak French, much less read it._ I laughed more but it was turning into tears. I wiped at my face unwilling to think about the maelstrom brewing in my mind. I was safe from Troy's prying eyes. He probably thought it was a grocery list.

XXX

The Saints were having a party, a grand celebration of their ownership of the city. Troy tried not to be bitter and spoil it all. He pitied them all, they thought the city was theirs, but they had no idea what was going to happen. He envied them. He was glad in a way that he would be done with this whole act, but at the same time he would miss some of them. _Johnny_. He tore his eyes from the saint who was currently shotgunning some drinks with the others. Troy didn't want him behind bars, he didn't want a lot of them behind bars, but he had to do his job. Unfortunately, Johnny was too damn dangerous to be allowed to go unchecked and with Julius soon to be out of the picture, things were going to get chaotic.

Speaking of, he sipped his beer as he listened to Julius tell another bunch of raw recruits the exploits of Ang. He'd been doing that a lot since that fight they had. Troy wasn't sure if the guy was trying to suck up to her or get her into fights, but either way, he'd make sure she wouldn't be in the gang much longer. Whatever the boss was planning wasn't going to work.

His hand went to the pocket that list was in. He needed to get it back on the fridge before she noticed. He still wasn't sure what it said, but, judging from the nut case's freak out, he was sure it wasn't good. Whatever it said, he wouldn't let her finish that last unmarked line. He'd save her from herself if he had to.

He'd make sure she'd be safe. He didn't know why he cared so much, he wasn't in love with her, but he wanted her safe. Preferably with him.

Thinking of her seemed to summon her as he spotted her in the crowd. His lips curled as he idiotically thought of a million dollars, hoping it would appear. Money would solve all his problems for sure.

He watched her stalk through the crowd, looking for something, maybe him? Troy's lips kicked up at the idea she was looking for him, he didn't think too hard about how just the thought of that made him happy. That little feeling of happiness wasn't deterred by the angry look she kept on her face as she moved, waving people off as they tried to engage her, and in some cases threatened them with a raised fist. She looked so uncomfortable in the crowd of people, her eyes darting away from others, her body twisting to avoid from being touched as she tried to make herself as small as possible to move through them. As she crossed the yard and more people tried to engage her, the more aggressive her response became. He knew the moment she saw him, her eyes narrowed and her shoulders straightened as she marched towards him.

"Hey-" Troy started, only for her to point a finger at him.

"I am still angry at you and am not talking to you!" Ang told him, her accent thickening with her emotion. He wasn't sure, but he thought she was blushing.

He had thought they were good again, but he guessed not. After he had spanked her, they had cuddled for a while, her kisses so sweet, that fragile look in her eyes as she whispered words in French he didn't understand before she pushed him on his back. After making love to her she had gotten quiet, but there was no repeat of the throwing up and tears this time, and he made sure not to repeat his proposal. He'd let it go for a while, try to figure out what was going on with her before he asked again.

"I want my list, you stole it."

He raised a brow at her, which made her look away from him. "Want to tell me what's on it?" he asked as he lit up a smoke.

"Non, it's none of your business."

"Anything that affects you is my business, Angel," he said softly, his hand going to her cheek but she knocked it away. He didn't know what to think as her eyes teared up a bit.

He didn't get a chance to ask as Julius called for everyone's attention as he stood on the stairs in front of the church. He sighed as he prepared to be bored from another of Julius' speeches. As he was still getting people's attention, Troy pulled Ang to his side, putting his arm around her shoulders. Surprisingly, she didn't fight him and actually cuddled against him. He brushed his lips against her temple as her hand crept under his shirt to caress on his back. He had noticed that she liked to do that, skin-on-skin contact, whenever she was emotional.

"Alright, listen up! We did it. 3rd Street owns this town!" The gang cheered at his words, while Troy just silently sucked on his cig. After a moment, Julius hushed the crowd. "Now, that's not to say that shit didn't cost, and I ain't talkin' about what happened to Johnny's leg or losing Lin or any other of our people," he paused for a moment, allowing the losses to sink in before continuing, "They are all soldiers, they knew the risk. Hell, Johnny gets off on it."

"Hey, you say that like it's a bad thing," Johnny piped up from his seat with the disguised Aisha.

"But we crushed a lot of families, and someday they're gonna holla at us. But believe me when I tell you, we did the right thing. With the Rollerz wiped out, Benjamin gone, and the Colombians in our pocket, there ain't gonna be a need for a gang war ever again. And in the end, that's gonna save a lot more lives than we took." The crowd cheered. "With Lin gone, we need another lieutenant up in here and why not the Saint who helped make this all happen?"

Ang stiffened besides him. "Helped? I did all the gods be damned work while he did fucking nothing!" she hissed, low enough that he barely heard her. "Fuck this shit, I'm out."

And so Troy was left standing there alone when Julius actually named her.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: Thank you to my two wonderful betas who are always there for me: Hunny and Chyrstis

Chapter 44

 

I glared at my phone daring it to ring again. Ever since that jackass Julius had made his ridiculous announcement it felt like people had been calling me non-stop.

_Ding Ding_

"You know what, fuck you, you stupid piece of plastic shit!" I yelled at the fucking inanimate object as I picked it up and went to pull the battery. I stopped myself when I remembered the shitty phone always wiped the app data when it lost power, a horrible experience I learned during the heatwave. I had to spend hours getting my high scores back. I turned off the ringer and tossed it under a pillow instead.

I laid down staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do. I ignored the phone as it vibrated, letting me know yet another person left a message. I had stopped listening to them and wished my mailbox would fill up already. One of the many messages left on my phone was from an annoyed Johnny letting me know that some of his crew wanted on my crew. Apparently I had a fucking crew. People suddenly needed me, wanted me around and were relying on me. I pulled my bear into my arms and curled up on the bed.

"I don't want this," I whined to the bear. Sometimes I wish the damn thing could talk back, especially since I'd had it since I was a kid, it would be the only one who could understand.

Gods, what was I going to do now? I wanted to go out with a bang. Yes, this would be the perfect time. So many people would miss me now and wonder, but now people actually wanted me around. No one ever wanted me around, not even my parents.

I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. To just not deal with any of this.

_BZZZT_

Right. That was it. I was going to get a new phone. One that actually had a silence feature and would actually save my damn games.

XXX

"Look, I just need to know if it can play my games," I tried not to snap at the idiot sales clerk. Gods I hated white guys with dreads. They always had that 'look at me, I'm better than you' attitude.

"Yeah, like totally but like you really want something with power and like a better aesthetic," he said in a voice that made me want to punch myself. "You should totally get this one," he pointed to a different model. I could only raise my brow at the price tag. Eight hundred dollars for a phone. I may have grown up rich, but Papa made made me learn the value of money unlike my peers.

"Non, I want this one, if it does what I want." This time he took my tone to heart, or it could have been the sight of my tattoo as I pushed my hair back in agitation. Suddenly, he was more than willing to give me the one I wanted and transfer my games. He was working on my old phone when he looked up at me nervously.

"Did you like totes know there's a tracker in your phone?"

"C'est quoi, ce bordel!"* At my raised voice, he cowered behind the counter.

"I didn't do it!" he said as he hid under the counter.

"No shit, salope**." I grabbed him by his probably mildew-infested hair and shook him like a baby. "Explain!" I scraped my hand across the counter trying to get off the grease from his dirty, nasty hair.

"It's one of those really high tech ones that you can't turn off, you can get them over at the Sneaks-a-lott!" he rambled. I remembered seeing the store he was talking about in the mall, always with the loud, flashy ads about spying on your loved ones and being creepy as all hell. I knew about those trackers from school, almost everyone had something like that with them, as some of my classmates just couldn't be trusted, what with millions on the line, or had tyrannical parents. My parents didn't have that issue with me, only with Babette. She would always pull her trackers out of her phone, watch, and once even her shoes.

"Can it be traced back to who put it there?" He was fumbling to give me an answer, but I was connecting the dots already. Troy was the one who got the gang their phones, everyone had the same kind, all of which were synced on the same network-I still couldn't beat Dex's high score. He and Johnny had known how to find me after Sharp shot me and he always seemed to know where everyone was. Why was he tracking everyone? It seemed odd.

Maybe he was just a helicopter lieutenant? The thought amused me. I was glad I had been saved but now that I knew, I couldn't allow it to continue. "Just get my new phone ready," I snapped.

He started punching in data on the keyboard as I got money out. I was doing better nowadays with funds, I should have been bothered by how I got it, after all, even the Goddess would have a problem with robbing the dead. But, whatever, it wasn't like they could use it, right?

"I just need to finish filling out the info, name?"

"Angelique Cap- ... Montague." I kicked myself mentally for tripping over the name. This was all too normal for me, getting a phone. It was something I would have done before all this, it made me forget for a moment that I was a different person than I used to be. Whoever was Angelique Capulet was dead and gone, I was Ang Montague now and would die as that.

"Social?" I glared at the guy. I wasn't about to use _my_ social security number, I wasn't _that_ stupid. However, when I got my poorly made I.D., I hadn't bothered getting a fake number. I took out my gun and put it on the counter and started drumming my nails next to it. I really needed a manicure, the sound wasn't as impressive as it should have been. Fortunately the gun was and he started typing away on his little computer.

XXX

I watched as the plastic bottle floated down the algae encrusted river, surprised it even moved because, you know, still water. I puffed away on my cigarillo as I wondered how long it would be before anyone realized that I didn't have the tracker on me. I'd watch my new phone and make sure that none showed up on it. I refused to let anyone spy on me.

Papa had been furious when school had a safety lecture on bugging and trackers, after all, even at a young age you didn't want someone hearing you say something that could damage your future. I knew about him watching Babette, but me? That had been a shock. I didn't like him knowing what was going on with me, mainly because it was all symbolic. He only cared about his drinks since Maman died. So I fought with him. Those fights with Papa had always been long and drawn out over it and now I wondered, if they were due to what he supposedly did, to protect me, since I knew he didn't care about me. My heart ached. _I want my Papa._ I had so many questions for him, so many things I needed to say to him. Why did he have to leave me? I didn't want any of this.

I angrily threw my cigarillo in the river. I hoped he was in his Catholic hell. I hoped he was watching every single thing happening to Babette and I. I hoped that every time I killed someone, he saw how happy it made me. I hoped he saw every single john that Babette took. And I hoped he saw every single time I fucked my Irish whatever the fuck Troy was. I think he would have hated that the most. Gods, he had hated Irishmen with a passion.

I used to think it was just because of his father, the grandfather that I never knew and who was never talked about, but now I had to wonder if there was more to his business. Either way, I'd never know. But I hoped that he would rage in the flames.

The thought warmed me as cold air blew from the river. It'd be winter soon judging from the sheer amount of leaves on the ground. It would be my first winter somewhere cold; my family always fled for warmer pastures as soon as the first chill came. I had always wanted to see snow. Maman hated it.

I pushed all thoughts of my parents back in the timeout box in my mind as I watched a car pull up and park haphazardly. Even without having taken the exam, I knew that was the wrong way to park. I smoothed a hand down my fancy new dress. I had actually paid for it for once, along with the new shoes, a mani pedi, and a haircut as my hair had started to get too wild. I had to suppress a grin when Troy stopped in his tracks at the sight of me. I knew I looked good, the ombre silk chiffon dress clung in all the right places, the flame like colors complimenting my tones.

He gave me a once over, his gaze remained on me as he approached. I liked the hungry look, I still liked having someone look at me, most of the time it faded after being intimate.

"Fuck, you look good enough to eat," he said, his voice full of lust. "I'm almost hoping when you said we're eating out somewhere fancy, you meant you now."

I blushed at his words, the tone making me shiver in anticipation. "Shut up," I said through my embarrassment.

I couldn't say why his comments made me feel that way, maybe because I knew I wasn't pretty enough to deserve it. Or perhaps because we weren't really together, which was the reason behind this date. I didn't know what I was doing anymore, but I knew I was lonely and, frankly, he seemed to be the only one who was there for me. It wasn't like I hadn't tried to find someone else. What, with all those people blowing up my phone, someone could have stepped up. But not one of them was there for me the way I wanted them to be-everyone had plans or someone more important.

"Come on." I grabbed his hand and pulled him along towards the restaurant. I had found the place while looking for a hair salon that actually knew how to treat my stupid hair without trying to make me straighten it which never worked, but every stylist insisted they knew the real way to do it. They never did.

The host gave Troy a dirty look at the sight of his jeans and jersey, but the money I slipped him had him smiling. Troy's gaze darted around, studying the people in the restaurant. His brows rose sky high at the sight of all the well dressed patrons. He was very out of place; and so was I. The only other person of color was a black guy busing the tables. We made a pair; giving everyone something to talk about, but I held my head up high and kept up my composure as I sat down in the booth, the fine leather caressing my legs.

"Are we robbing this place, because holy fuck?" he muttered as he looked at the menu. "What the fuck, three hundred dollars for a piece of steak?! What are they going to do slaughter the cow right here?" He put it down. "There's no way in hell I'm paying that much for a piece of steak when there's a pizza place around the block. I could order eighty of them for that price."

I failed to contain my giggles at his attitude. I was used to the prices, had grown up on them and now that I had money again, I didn't bat an eye at them. Anyhow, if I overspent, I'd just rob a bank. Literally.

"Come on, it's not that funny."

"Oui it is, try the steak, you'll be surprised." He gave me a look that threatened to make me giggle more. He stared at the menu, shaking his head and muttering about the price for a bit more before the waiter came. He raised his brow at my order and reluctantly followed suit.

There was an awkward silence after we ordered, before he stretched his arm across the table, his hand open and inviting. After a moment, I reached out, the warm feeling of his callused hand closing around mine comforted my nerves.

"Are we good?" he asked, the sincerity in his eyes made me uncomfortable. He caressed his thumb along my wrist as he waited.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away, just continued that soft touch.

"I don't know what's on that list of yours but I got a feeling it ain't good," he said softly.

I looked away from him.

"I would have thrown it in a translate app, but I can't read that chicken scratch of yours," he added.

"My handwriting is impeccable, thank you very much," I said, bristling.

"Look, the sisters at my school would have your knuckles hurting over it."

"Well, those nuns can fuck themselves."

He chuckled before raising my hand to his lips and placing a kiss on it. "I love that passion of yours."

"Shut up," I muttered.

"I'm worried about you, Angel." He took a breath, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. He looked like he was building the courage to say something. The waiter's arrival with their order cut off whatever he was going to say.

I convinced him to get the oh-so-expensive steak, knowing full well it would be worth it. He amused me as he went to cut it, his pose showing he was prepared to fight to cut it like his usual tough steak but the knife glided through it.

"Holy mother of Mary," he said in a tone that suggested complete awe. I tasted my own steak, it practically melted on my tongue. "What the shit, Angel. I can't go back to the old shit. This is fucking amazing."

"Worth every penny, non?" I wasn't as amazed at the food, after all I had grown up on it. After a while this rich food was, while tasty, boring and gauche. Even as I savored the flavors, it only made me feel uncomfortable. I was never going back to my old life. What I had now was all I was going to get. I was supposed to be ending it, so why did enjoying this bother me so much?

"Hey, you okay?" Troy's soft voice drew me out of my dark thoughts. "You got all quiet there."

"Yeah I'm-" My words died in my throat as my sight landed on the people being led to a table.

_He was here._

My mind screamed at me to run as I watched him with horror.

"Angel, what's wrong?" Troy's voice sounded far away. I could feel the knife on my face, pressing into my cheek, the tip right by eye, making me terrified to blink and cause it to cut me.

" _You run from me and I'll take your eye and then I'll sell your skinny ass for a ruble a roll," he said as pressed his body against mine. I could feel him, the idea of getting the money or mutilating me making him hard. I didn't know which._

" _You're going to work for me, understand?" The knife didn't waver. "You're going to earn your keep until you get me the rest of my money."_

" _I can just give you monthly payments, I get an allowance!" I pleaded with him but he just tutted at me._

" _Do you really think I'd accept such a pittance? No girl, you'll earn more my way. Who knows, after proper training you might enjoy it." He pressed his face against mine, his mouth flush to my ear. "Not that I care сука***_. _Oh, the things I have planned for you. So many are going to enjoy Capulet's little girl." The knife moved, only for his hand to trail down to my breast. He watched me as he squeezed,_ _his grip tightening_ _until I yelped in pain. "Oh yes," he drawled out before stepping away. "I'll be back tomorrow, little girl." I stood there too scared to move which made him smile. "I do so hope you run."_

His laughter was like a blow to the stomach. All the rich food I had just eaten threatened to make a reappearance.

"Hey, you're pale, talk to me," Troy said softly, trying not to draw anyone's attention. He covertly scanned the room, bless his heart. Dmitri was worse than anyone we'd ever faced, he was a monster. No wonder Papa killed himself. The man scared him.

"I need air," I whispered as I pulled out enough money to cover the bill and a generous tip.

"Who is it?" He didn't look around like I would have, but kept his eyes on mine as I couldn't help but look at the monster. "Okay, just calm down, you're with me, we're both armed. No one is going to hurt you, I won't let them." He stood, moving so that his body was in-between mine and the Russian's. "I got you," he reassured me, his hand on my back comforting as he walked me out of the place. I risked a look back and saw Dmitri staring at me. His smile sent chills down my spine as he raised his wineglass and toasted me.

"I got to go home," I told Troy as soon as we were outside.

"You want me to drive you?" He didn't press me for answers at the moment, which made me grateful.

"Non, I need some air." He looked at me for a moment before nodding. "I'm here for you. Be careful, and shoot me a text when you get home," he said, leaning in to drop a kiss on my temple. I watched him walk to his car, where he stood and light up a smoke. He stared at the door of the restaurant, sending my anxiety sky high.

"I got this, Angel. Go home," he said sternly. I didn't want to go, but I didn't want to let the monster get me either. I wouldn't let him win. I'd beat him. That was the bastard that took everything away; more than Papa had.

Still, I was terrified of him. I tried not to run, but fear drove me to move faster, the sound of my heels on the pavement was like a ticking clock to my doom. Like a stupid blonde in a horror movie, I fumbled with my key and was suddenly pushed against the door.

"Dmitri is very happy to see you, stupid girl," the rough voice at my ear announced as a hand closed around my throat. "We've got many many clients eager to fuck Cap's little girl."

The threat was enough to snap me out of my daze. I wasn't going to let them make me a victim again. I snapped my head back, the feel of his nose crumbling under the blow brought me joy as I kicked off my door, spilling us both to the ground. I rolled off of him and stood, pulling my gun out of my holster and fired point blank into him. At this range, I couldn't miss, didn't miss, the bullets drilling right into his chest. The look of shock on Dmitri's man filled me with exhilaration but the blood on my new dress put a damper on it. That and I saw him standing at the backdoor, not far from where I was standing. I had emptied my gun and didn't have any more bullets on me, they were in my car somewhere. He was already pulling his own gun. No, no, no. I wasn't going to let him take me down. I did the only thing I could think of. I got in my car and drove off.

XXX

I stared down at my phone weighing my options. Dmitri knew where I was, I could either hide, run, or face him. I had the Saints, but he was the mob. They were like roaches, kill one and a hundred more would show up. Hells, if I ended up involving the Saints, the mob might decide to take the city as payback. I couldn't do that to everyone after we basically took over the city. So I could either run or hide.

I wasn't going to start all over. Non, I was going to go about this smarter this time. I pressed a button and let the phone dial.

"I suspect this is important to be calling this late. Now who do I have the pleasure of addressing?" The smooth slow drawl was a comforting one. Jean-Baptiste De Sauveterre had been my family's lawyer and solicitor since I was a child, most families had one on retainer, but now I wondered how much he knew.

"Did you know he was a drug dealer?" It wasn't the most important thing that I could have asked, it wasn't the reason I was calling, but I couldn't help asking.

"Bless my soul, is that you little Angelique?" I could hear him rustling around, probably putting on his glasses, all the better to hear. The thought made me smile a little bit.

"Non, it's the pope." It was a family joke, one that I had picked up from my father.

"Where are you child? Everyone's been worried sick about you." Funny how he didn't answer my question.

"What happens to my money when I die? Does it go back to Babette?"

"You've been missing for almost a year and no how do you do, no explanation, just questions about your money? You are your father's child." I didn't respond and let the silence grow. "As you well know, aside from Babette, you are the only other heir, the state would seize the property for itself." I had thought that's how it would work, but I wanted to be sure.

"Thank you. I'm sorry to have woken you up." I hung up before he could say anything. He would most likely wait for a decent hour to call back, I had seen him do the same with Papa as a child. In the meantime, the idea in my head was taking flight. Dmitri wouldn't be getting my money. No one would be getting it, especially not my stupid redneck state with it's really stupid governor.

XXX

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Troy tried to snap at me but it came out mostly muttered as his eyes tried to close again. He had been wide-eyed at first at the sight of me, but now they were fighting to close them again. He looked adorable with his hair all scruffy and wearing nothing more than a wife-beater or and a pair of boxers.

"Oui, I do." I drew him down for a kiss, wrapping my arms around him. He let out a little groan as he pulled me tighter, his kiss becoming more passionate as he woke up.

"You okay?" he asked as he brushed a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Ask me again."

"Are you okay?" He gave me a look.

"Not that, idiot."

"What the hell are you on about?"

"Ask me."

"Ang, it's three o'clock in the morning what the hell- Ow!" He rubbed at the nipple I twisted.

"Ask me again." After a few minutes of trying to silently communicate what I wanted him to say, the realization hit him.

"Oh. Oh! Hold on." He took me by the hand and pulled me with him into the living room. "Stay," he commanded and ran into his bedroom. His place was a mess as always. Only a flamethrower would clean this mess at this point. He came back in and got down on one knee. "Angelique, will you marry me?"

"I thought you'd never ask," I teased him.

"I'm going to spank you for that."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:   
> 1- What the fuck  
> 2- you slut  
> 3- bitch


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to my two wonderful betas, hunnybadgerv and chyrstis. You two rock

"Will you tell me about him?" Troy asked as he lifted his face from where it was buried in my hair. The whole bed gave an ungodly creak as he shifted, the lump in it making me roll so that I was looking up at him, rather than the wall. I wasn't sure if his hair was more disheveled from sleep or my fingers running through it. I raised my hand to his cheek, the feel of fresh stubble, his dry lips on my palm as he turned his head grounding me as memories tried to drag me back down. I didn't have to ask which him he meant, as I knew that he had to have heard the gunshots last night but he hadn't brought it up when I showed up late. That might have been because of my surprise demand. I didn't want to think about the him in question; I didn't want to taint this.

I wondered briefly if I could distract him with more sex, but I had a feeling Troy wouldn't be up to another round. After all, he was old. I smiled at the reaction he would have had if I said that aloud, he so hated being teased about his age.

"We're not living here after we marry, your place is awful," I said, hoping he'd take the hint. His knowing gaze bored into mine, making me focus on his chest instead. _Please don't push this,_ I silently prayed. He was quiet for a while, his hand going to my hip, giving me a gentle, comforting squeeze before he kissed my forehead.

"What, like your hole in the ground is any better? At least I can shit without having my knees in my throat." Relief poured through as he took the hint, even as indignation flared up at his slander of my place. Though it was true; my bathroom was tiny. I usually ended up with my legs in the shower.

"At least mine is clean," I huffed. "So, where do you want to live?" I asked after a moment. I was confused when he looked away from me. I was about to apologize, thinking perhaps I offended him, when his lips came down on my own, his fingers lacing with mine as he kissed me with vigor.

XXX

He should really handle things like an adult. He knew that, even as he sidestepped the conversation with sex. Fuck, she was sweet. Too sweet, too good for him. He knew he was going to end up in the special hell.

He didn't want to have this talk with her, he didn't want her to look at him with anything else but love. Or at least he thought that was love in her eyes. He wanted to keep it that way. He craved that look. Curled up in his arms, her fingers idly played with his chest hair as she hummed softly. It amused him how she did that. He was pretty sure she didn't even realize she was doing it. He watched her for a moment, enjoying the light reflecting off the ring he got her. She seemed to like it and he liked the feel of it whenever he held her hand. Speaking of, he brought her hand up to his lips before she would wander down towards the left and trigger a ticklish spot, her dark eyes meeting his with that expression he craved.

He thought about the best way to frame what he was going to say, swallowing several times as the words kept dying in his throat.

"Angel, I was thinking", he started but was cut off as his phone rang. _Fuck._ She turned away from him and grabbed his phone for him. He glared at it, and cursed Mike's timing. He realized, as he sent the call to voicemail, that before he met Ang he had never ignored a call from him. He tossed the phone on the nightstand after silencing it and leaned down to kiss her again. Her warm lips were welcoming, that little hesitation of hers, that slight nervousness of fucking up, always charmed him. He took strength from that as he broke away from her lips, his words spilling out in a rush. "I want us to get out of this city, just you and me, far away from all this and start a life together." He braced himself for the worst but her eyes lit up and she smiled.

"I like the sound of that, amant garçon," she purred before placing a gentle kiss to his lips. He was taken back by her quick acceptance.

"Really?" He wanted to smack himself for asking, but most women didn't just agree to things like this. He had been prepared to persuade her, to con her into trusting him. The fact she so easily agreed made him wary, it shouldn't, but he was having a hard time trusting this. _Why would she agree so fast? Did it have to do with what happened last night?_ He needed to get details out of her, but she was avoiding that topic and he wanted to give her time. The fear in her eyes had startled him, and he needed to know what caused it, but did they have time? He decided not to push, not to fuck it up, even though part of him was always ready to fuck shit up. He would use this to his advantage and deal with it later.

"Well, now that you mention it, I could use a little convincing," she purred.

"Oh? And how would I go about doing that?" This close he could see her cheeks darken and almost feel the heat as she blushed.

"Perhaps you could use your mouth?" Her voice was little more than a whisper. He loved how shy she got over this stuff. He also loved that she enjoyed him going down on her, he had dated too many Catholic girls who were ashamed to like it.

He maintained eye contact with her as he kissed his way down her body, her nails pricking his skin as her hands twitched with anticipation. He took his time going down, stopping to tongue her peaked nipples. He knew from the way she gasped and bit her tongue they ached for his touch. He continued lower after a moment, his hands caressing over her sides as she lifted up, trying to coax him down faster as he sucked and nipped her stomach. He felt her freeze as his lips touched her scar and he made a show of kissing it while she looked at him. She looked away from him, that hurt look in her eyes again, that same look that kept showing up every time it was looked at or touched it. He hated that, he wanted to help her move on, but he didn't have a fucking clue how to do it. Instead, he ran his fingers ever so lightly over the curves of her hips, knowing full well she was ticklish there, and it didn't fail to make her slap his hands away. He kept at it, delighting in her reaction.

"Stop it, you ass!" she tried to sound stern, but the giggles weren't helping. He rose up to kiss her, swallowing her laughter, her eyes bright again, and the relief he felt was overwhelming. If he were a better man, this is where he would lie to her and tell her he loved her, but he wasn't a good man.

"Alright, I'll stop." He flopped on the bed next to her and watched her squirm under his gaze. He saw that adorable internal conflict again- she wanted him to eat her out, but just couldn't get the words to come out. She covered her face with her hands, muttering behind them. The sunlight glinting off the silver band of her ring captivated him. He couldn't believe he was actually going to marry her. Goddamn, he was a heartless bastard doing this to her, but he didn't have a choice. She didn't deserve any of what was going to happen, she was still so innocent. He pulled her hands away from her face and leaned in for a kiss.

"Troy, mon amour," she whispered against his lips as she pressed against him. Her hand timidly guided him down her body and even then she hesitated to push him farther than her stomach. He was tempted to tease her, to see how long it would take for her to coax him to pleasure her. He knew that she'd jump on his dick before she ever gathered up the courage to ask.

"Grip the headboard." She gave him a questioning, look but raised her hands up, wrapping them around the bars. He leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed the spare pair of cuffs he had hidden, for reasons, and grinned at her. "You trust me?"

After a moment, she bit her lip and nodded, her eyes on him as he cuffed her to the bed. "Wait. You're not going to fucking tickle me again, are you?"

"Well, now that you've suggested it," he teased.

She glared at him as she pulled at the cuffs. He knew she was just playing as they jangled softly. He grinned as he sat back on his knees between hers, the lovely blush of hers spreading as he looked at that ginger bush of hers. He almost laughed when she turned her face away, hiding in the crock of her arm, her legs pressing against his hips as she tried to hide that sight from him. "So, shy, my girl," he said as he licked his thumb before reaching out to stroke once around her standing clit, and her hips arched, seeking more of his touch. He was kind enough to stroke her again and again, enjoying the sight of her sinking her teeth into her arm to muffle her moans.

He paid attention to her sounds, waiting until he heard that intake of breath that she always took before she came. He had noticed she always held her breath during it, gasping for air as she came down.

"Non!" she gasped, the look of shock on her face stunning. She tried to close her legs, rub against him, anything to ease that ache. Her needy look changed as he held those glorious thighs open to one of confusion as she slowly realized that he wasn't going to let her come. She jumped as he touched her again, his fingers sliding easily into her slick pussy. She moved in time to his thrusts, making him grin as she tried to make him go deeper and faster to no avail. She whimpered, her eyes pleading with him as he leaned over, his lips on hers, her kiss frantic, biting, trying to pull him in for more. He grinned against her lips as she struggled not to keep from her breathing pattern normal, having realized that was her major tell, but as soon as he felt that telltale tightening, he pulled his fingers from her. "Non, non, non, don't!" she wailed as her head flopped back on the pillow. He watched in delight as she closed her legs, squirming, trying to create enough friction to finish what he had started to no avail. She pulled the cuffs in earnest now, that desperate look in her eyes making him hard as a rock.

"Delicious," he informed her as he made show of licking his fingers clean. She whimpered at the sight. He loved her little whimpers, she was far too quiet and he savored every one he could pull from her.

"Troy," her voice had taken on such a sweet begging tone.

"Ask me, Angel," he taunted, turning her words back on her. They both knew what she wanted, but she bit her lip, giving him those come hither eyes and remained silent. He wanted to see her come out of that shyness. He dropped a kiss on her lips before scooting back, his hands going to grasp her thighs, spreading her wide, the anticipation and need didn't waver as he kissed his way down her body, not even, much to his delight, when he kissed that scar. Her little clit was standing to attention as he finally made his way down between her legs.

"Oh gods," she moaned as he circled her clit with his tongue. He continued to tease her, little laps, gentle sucking and backing off, nuzzling her thigh and gently nipping her thighs until she was practically growling in frustration. He chuckled, his eyes rolling up to look at her, the anger and need was beautiful. "Stop playing," she growled when he moved away to give her time to calm yet again.

"Ask me then, Angel."

"Gods be damned Troy, just fuck me." He raised a brow as he got up, his hand giving his cock a stroke.

"You sure that's what you want? Just for me to fuck you?" he taunted her.

"Oui," she said between clenched teeth.

"If that's what you really want," he teased her. He leaned over her to nuzzle at her neck and then ear. "Not that I mind, your sweet pussy is perfect." She gave him she same mildly disgusted look at his language she always had whenever he used "dirty" words, but it was soon wiped away. That little gasp of hers when he entered her charmed him every time. She wrapped her legs around him, coaxing him to go faster, harder, and with those strong legs of hers, it was hard to resist her, but he managed. With his hands, he braced himself against that impressive strength.

"Non, non, non! Stop toying with me!" Judging from her expression, she would have hit him if she could.

"Then ask me. I want to hear you say it," he said as he kissed her. Her lips were trembling, the lost look in her eyes drawing in for another.

"I- I can't," she whispered.

"I'll just tease you until you can."

"You wouldn't." There was a note of horror creeping in her voice.

He smiled at her as he pulled out and started back down her body to start all over again. He wasn't sure how long he played with her, ringing tortured moans from her lips with fingers and tongue, but he was startled when he suddenly felt her hands gripping his hair.

"Make me come, or I will rip your scalp off," her voice was deadly serious. He almost laughed, but decided not to risk it and set to work, his fingers sinking in her, pumping against that swollen spot that made her hips twitch. "Ah fuck!" Her hands tightened in his hair as her channel clenched. "Ah, no more, I can't." she was soon crying, trying to push him away as her clit became oversensitive.

He gave her one final lick before drawing away, his fingers still moving in her, watching that blissed out look on her face turn to one of panic as the movement propelled her over the edge again. "I can't! Stop, stop, stop," she said as she grabbed his wrist. He relented, giving her a cocky smile as he flopped down next to her, enjoying the sight of her panting as she recovered. He went to run his fingers over her skin, only to have her slap him away. He laughed at her reaction, she was so spent she couldn't even muster up a decent glare. After a moment he came to his senses and checked her wrists for damage, unsure how she had gotten out of them. He was glad to see there was only a little bit of scraping, but nothing major. "You ever do something like that again, I'll kill you," she informed him with a glare.

"You didn't like that? Seems like you did," he teased, his fingers trailing down her stomach, only to have her slap him away again.

"Oh, shut up, idiot," she grumbled as her eyes closed.

"How did you manage to get out of the cuffs?" he asked, a little confused. Those were standard cuffs, she shouldn't have been able to get out of them without a key. She grinned at him and held up her hand. "What the fuck! Stop that!" he said completely disgusted as she appeared to dislocate her fingers. She cackled and moved closer, moving both her hands. "Jesus Christ, that's disgusting."

"Oui, isn't it?" She grinned. "I can wiggle my way out of a great number of things and into." She laid her now freakish hand on his chest, giggling at the look of distrust on his face. "I can see you're just so disgusted," she teased as her lovely hand encircled his cock. "I should tease you, shouldn't I?" She leaned into him and kissed him, that little hum she did vibrating against his lips.

"I wouldn't mind, been doing it since I was younger than you."

"I thought I was going to die if I didn't come," she confessed, her face heated with embarrassment. "And then I felt like I'd die if you didn't stop making me come."

"Great isn't it?" he said with a cheeky grin, which faded with a groan as her nimble fingers stroked him.

"Let's see how 'great' you think it is," she taunted.

He barely kept himself from kissing her again as she buttoned up his shirt. It was disgustingly domestic her helping him after they had finally gotten food. Due to the fact that the height of his culinary experience was ramen, they had ordered out from one of her fancy restaurants. She was going to end up spoiling food for him with all this rich shit. Her smile made him warm as she finished up. He pulled her against him, giving into that urge to kiss her forehead at least.

"So I'll pick you up at your place," he said as he pulled on his jacket. He'd be happy to leave Stilwater, the winters were hell here. All the weather was hell here, it was really a sign.

"Oui, oui, just hurry up," she teased with a grin. "I can't believe I'm eloping," she said with a shake of her head, and chewed on her lip for a moment. "After we're away from here, I have some things I want to tell you."

"Same here," he said. _I can only hope you forgive me._ He pulled her in for another kiss, his forehead resting against hers for a moment until he pulled away. He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, enjoying that little sigh. He wanted to say so much but the words choked him. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get out what he was thinking. He moved to leave and paused with his hand on her doorknob, turning back to her. "Hey. How you do say, 'I'm not good with expressing shit because my family's fucked, but the idea of losing you makes me sick, in French?" He regretted speaking the moment the words left his mouth, but she graced him with a smile and made a show of figuring it out.

"Je t'aime," she finally said after a few minutes.

"You boiled down all that to what four words?" he asked doubtfully.

"What can I say, French is a magical language." She grinned and then opened the door for him. "Get going. The sooner you're finished with your mysterious business, the sooner we can leave."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't ever call me that," she said with a grimace.

Redeye flights were the worst but they were usually empty, quiet and cheap. His first flight to Stilwater had been on a redeye, it was all he could afford with the measly allowance he had saved up. No one had bothered fourteen-year-old him back then and he was still grateful for it. A redeye would be perfect for what he needed to tell her, and it'd give him time to figure out how to explain to her the name she'd be taking wasn't Johnson, but Bradshaw. He still wondered if he should tell her before they took off. No, after they did and were in the next state would be for the best, just in case she rightly threw a fit and they had to be grounded.

He thought about it, perhaps he should wait until they were at the altar. She'd have to tell him about her real name then, so maybe that would be a good time to tell her his own. Maybe just leave out the whole "I'm a cop bit" until later? Get her settled back somewhere else and then come back and settle this whole undercover bullshit. Maybe he could keep it from her somehow? Never let her know how much of a slimy shit he was.

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself. _Why had he ever taken this shit assignment?_ He had this grand idea of saving the city from itself, of getting rid of the corruption that plagued the department and caused more crime than it solved. He had been such a naive fool. He wished he hadn't realized that almost five years later, but then again, he wouldn't be getting married. He guessed it balanced out then.

"Oh come the fuck on," he grumbled as lights flashed at him. He had been driving like a normal person for once, not like the insane way he usually did. He pulled out his info while stashing his gun in the map pocket, he didn't need any shit going down this late in the game.

XXX

"The fuck you trying to do? Fuck up my whole investigation?" Troy snapped as the chief entered the room.

"I'd say according to reports you've been too busy fucking to do your job, Bradshaw," he said, the thing on his lip commanding Troy's attention. It was like a drunk caterpillar just waving around every time he spoke, why would anyone grow out something that hideous. It was such a distraction that it took a moment for the words to sink in.

"The fuck did you just say to me?" he barked before remembering this wasn't a fellow gang member but a cop. "Sir."

"You've been in too long Bradshaw, what the fuck were you thinking getting involved with one of those whores?" He clenched his fist, fighting the urge to punch the shit out of the chief, watching as he tossed a VHS on the table, sometimes he forgot out how dated some of the department's technology was. "Shit, she's not even that pretty and here you are planning on running away, to elope?" The chief shook his head. "I'm going to save you from yourself, kid. You'll thank me in a couple years." He got up and went to the door where another officer was waiting with a brown bag, the chief took it and put it on the table. "Get yourself cleaned up, finish your reports, we're shutting this thing down."

Troy's blood ran cold. He had no way of getting a hold of Ang. What would she think when people started getting arrested? _Shit._ He had really fucked up this time. He eyed the tape on the table, curiosity getting the best of him and popped it in the VCR. As soon as it started to play, he quickly popped it back out and started to pull the ribbon out, tearing it up as the images of him and Ang kept on playing in his head. He had forgotten that his place was bugged and now they would both pay for it.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Thank you once again to my lovely beta readers, Chyrstis and Hunny. You two are the best.
> 
>  

 

Chapter 46

 

 

I was not a woman of patience, I never had been, which was why I was back at the church instead of waiting for Troy. The idiot was hours late, wasn't taking his calls, and without having a way to track him, left me stewing in worry about him. I probably should have gone shopping or hung out at a coffee shop but frankly, the church was the only place I knew that had a fax machine. Why fax machines still existed was beyond me, but Jean Baptiste insisted that they were important, probably because he couldn't figure out how to hook up a real printer to save his life.

The thought made me chuckle as I looked over the papers he sent which were dry and tedious. Half the time I was convinced legalese was made so boring simply to make you sign anything to make it stop. Still having all this money meant I had to be careful, even if this was something like love. I wasn't sure what we had, I wasn't sure what I was doing anymore, aside from living with my money just to spite Dmitri. I'd figure out the rest later.

Prenuptial agreements were a staple of the rich and smart, something school drilled into me. Still it was weird reading it over. Troy would receive an allowance of three grand a month, with a birthday and Christmas bonus of two grand, he wouldn't be allowed to open up any joint accounts, nor take out anything in my name, and upon divorce he would not be entitled to any money or alimony. I squinted at the section that outlined adultery. What the shit was pre-approved adultery? Why was that even a thing. I wondered if my parents had the same thing on theirs, after all, Papa had known about Maman's indiscretions. He never seemed jealous or angry about it. To be honest, he never seemed to care about her until after she died.

At any rate, I wasn't my father, there wouldn't be approving of adultery. I did not share.

I pushed my dark thoughts away that were forming at the idea of being cheated on and focused on something more pleasant, like Troy's reaction to being what amounted to as a kept man. I knew I'd have to do something, being idle would drive me insane. I wondered what Troy would do for a living. I noticed the usual section on offspring was missing which meant he knew what happened already. He always had amazing connections, how he found out so fast was beyond me. I was relieved I wouldn't have to have a talk with him about it though.

"Thank fuck," Johnny said as he came in the room. "No one is answering their fucking phones and we got a problem." He looked worn out, his hair not as spiky as usual, almost like it deflated with his mood.

"I was just picking up some paperwork," I started unsure of how to break it to him I was leaving. I'd miss his cute ass and brash attitude. "Troy and I are going to Vegas."

"Shit, didn't think you'd accept him, grats, though you could do better," he teased as he gave me a hug. I awkwardly patted him. "You got to work on the whole hug thing, you're shit at them."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Look, bullshit aside, we got a problem, while you and Troy were playing marathon bunnies, Dex and Julius both have gone missing and I'm left trying to deal with this shit. What the fuck, Ang?" No wonder his spikes were dropping.

"Take a deep breath, Johnny. I'm sure the two of them are just out celebrating."

"No, they aren't. Julius' car was found out on I-3 and look," he opened up the normally locked drawers on Dex's workbench which slid open without a hitch and were completely empty, "his stash is gone."

Dex kept the gang's drugs on lockdown, doling them out only when needed or with funds. Bastard always made me pay extra for my stuff, which I could have gotten from a doctor but still, extra, my flat ass.

"Maybe he's having a huge party? I mean, all his paperwork is here," I said hesitantly, knowing that wasn't his thing but I figured if Dex did leave, he would have taken some of this crap. And some of it was just garbage, judging by the one bin labeled 'won' filled with hangman games. I didn't want to get involved. I just wanted to go back home, wait for Troy and leave. But seeing that lost look on Johnny's face rendered me helpless; I couldn't leave him to do it all. "We'll figure this out," I finally said, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, I don't know what the fuck to do."

I held up a hand when he tried to hug me again and fortunately he respected my personal space. "Okay, bring me up to speed what's going on."

After a moment of staring at his phone, Johnny pulled up the worksheet that he had apparently made to keep track of the gang's coming and goings and who was assigned to what. I was surprised at the sheer amount of detail he put into it, and it must have shown on my face as he smirked.

"I get bored at night after I give Eesh some Nycock," he said with a shit-eating grin. "You know like Nyquil, but with my dick."

"You're disgusting."

"You know you love me." His mischievous grin was hard to resist, still I slapped him away when he nudged me and waggled his brows.

"So, not my type."

"You're missing out." I buried my face in my hands as I couldn't help the blush that was starting.

"Anyhow! Does anyone else know you do this?"

"Fuck no. Next thing you know I'd be the one doing all this boring-ass work instead of an egghead like Dex." He shrugged. "I like being out there, not in here."

"You can do both you know."

"Nah, I'm good." I rolled my eyes at him and went over it again. Gods be damned, he had even written down planned assignments for the gang for the next two weeks.

"Okay, everything looks good, I don't think we need to change anything." I handed him his phone back. I opened my mouth to tell him he could handle this and make my exit stage left but my own phone rang. "Hello?" I asked after staring at the unknown number. I had almost everyone in the gang in my contacts list. No one with an unknown should be calling, and after running into Dmitri my paranoia was showing itself.

"This is Chief Monroe. I-" A gruff voice informed me.

"Who?"

"Chief Monroe," he repeated.

"I don't know any Chief Monroe, I think you have the wrong number, good day." I hung up.

"Did you seriously get a call from the police chief and hang up on him?" Johnny's face was a mix of shock and amusement.

"Oh, is that who it was? Why is he calling me?" Johnny started laughing, just as my phone started to ring again. "Hello?"

"Don't fucking hang up on me, you little fucking gangbanger."

"Excuse you, but if you cannot maintain civil language, I'll have to terminate this call," I informed him with my most stern tone. Johnny covered his mouth to keep his laughter from being heard.

"Look you little bitch-"

"Just because you're the chief of police does not mean you can be rude," I said cutting him off. "You can call back when you keep a civil tone." I hung up again and Johnny burst out laughing.

"Seriously, what the fuck though?"

"Whatever he wants, it's probably not good." I chewed on my lip. "But I know if you piss off men in power enough they usually tip their hand."

"Shit, you'd piss most guys off by being a chick questioning them."

"Speaking from experience?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Nah, I grew out of that shit."

"Think he's going to be a piss baby again?" I grinned when my phone rang yet again.

"Probably."

"If you want Julius back, listen to what I've got to say," the chief blurted out as soon as I picked up.

"Prove it. Let me speak to him," I demanded. One of the classes at my school had weirdly covered hostage situations. I guess when you hit a certain income, things like that could happen. Or you apparently dealt drugs but didn't bother telling your kid about that. It made me wonder how many of my classmates had unsavory backgrounds.

"No. Now listen, that stunt you pulled downtown with the rocket launcher cost my associates and I quite a bit of money. Now, I may not be an honest man, but I'm a fair one. So, rather than turn Saints Row into a parking lot, I'm going to let you work off what you owe me." I pushed Johnny away as he tried to move his head in to listen to this Monroe character ramble with his demands. I didn't want him crowding me, I couldn't concentrate when he was that close. "There's a mayoral campaign going on, and I want one of the candidates taken off the ballot. Marshall Winslow is in his campaign bus right now, and he has an appointment with the northbound. Park that bus on the train tracks tonight, or you'll find Julius' body floating in the river tomorrow. Don't disappoint me. Julius is counting on you."

"No, thanks," I said when he finally shut up.

"What?" I almost laughed at his tone of shock.

"Produce Julius and then we'll talk." I hung up on him.

"What the shit Ang? We've got to save Julius."

"Unless he gives us proof, he doesn't have him. People do this. Pretend to have someone but don't. Now who is Winslow?"

"He's one of the candidates for mayor. Come on, we were at that block party last month for him."

"I don't pay attention to politics, just a bunch of liars and idiots. Monroe wants him dead, I think we should have a talk with him instead."

XXX

"Hold on now, there's no need for any violence!" Marshall Winslow held his hands up as Johnny and I boarded his bus with guns in hand. Johnny closed the door, smirking at the driver as I approached Marshall.

"Sit down Mr Winslow, we have to have a chat," I informed him as I knelt on the seat in front of his and leaned over the back to look at him. He met my gaze, his eyes full of fear but they had a spark of determination in them. "Now, why would the chief of police be calling for your death?" I watched as he processed my words. There was confusion at first, then anger. Finally, outrage bloomed.

"That son of a bitch," he said as he slammed his fist into his palm. "I told him this city won't be party to corruption anymore."

He proceeded to explain how the chief had been taking kickbacks from gangs, only to have cops go undercover to sabotage them and that he was teaming up with another politician who would help the police basically become a legal gang. Well, more so than they already were. Monroe had this grand plan that should only exist in third world countries ruled by dictators, but "land of the free" and all. Apparently, Winslow had finally grown a spine and planned on fighting back through reforms. Monroe didn't like that at all, and found himself a partner that agreed with his approach. I had to hand it to Monroe, it was a good plan. Use the gangs to allow uncontrolled police growth with the public's backing, then use whichever remained to wipe out the opposing candidate and quietly pass martial law or something.

"So, we have to take out Monroe, but I don't think you'd be able to do it legally. After all he did want a gang to kill you," I said as I thought of a way to get to the chief.

"He'd have to go to the mayor's funeral wouldn't he?" Johnny said, with an evil smile on his face.

XXX

I gripped the oh gods bar as Johnny hit a pothole that made the whole car bounce. "Do you have to do that?" I yelled over the roar of the wind. I could feel my hair becoming one giant tangle from it.

"Do what?"

"Hit every single pothole in the city?"

He grinned and just aimed for another one.

"Seriously?" I grumbled.

"Look, you're new to the city, I grew up here. That fucker is the reason why shit got so bad. Getting rid of social programs, after-school shit, cutting the school budget, increasing police and shit. He's the reason why all the gangs showed up and why we had to get our own to fix it," Johnny said angrily. "I'd fucking kill him, but I get the gang would suffer badly for it. Doesn't stop me from wanting to hurt the fucker, you know?" He looked in his mirror, glaring at his trunk. "Plus I don't trust him, but we got to do what we got to do."

"We should leave him with one of the crew or something," I suggested.

"No shit, Sherlock. You really think I'm stupid enough to trust a politician?" I glared at him. He just hit another pothole.

XXX

Three bloody long days. Three fucking days with no word from Troy. No word from Julius, nor Dex. Nothing from anyone. No, the only thing any of us had heard was a stupid ass PSA by the Chief talking about cracking down on the oh so evil Saints. The news stations were at war with each other as they broadcast interviews with the chief and the video sent by Johnny.

Johnny, having actually used his brain instead of his mouth for once, had recorded Winslow's confession of corruption and collusion with Monroe. Watching the media battle it out, calling names and trying to prove the video real or fake had got surprisingly boring fast.

Monroe insisted we had forced Winslow to speak before leaving him to die on the tracks; all while ignoring those that wanted the body found in the wreckage examined by an independent coroner and instead rushing ahead with the funeral. Perhaps he knew the body wasn't Winslow's, that it was a skeleton stolen from the local college. Why Johnny had stolen it was beyond me, and he refused to clue me in. But it came in handy.

I clicked off the TV, it wasn't helping my anxiety at all. Nothing was. It was eating me up inside and judging from my chewed nails, it was leaking out. I didn't even remember chewing them. I needed sleep and my meds, but the cops had been staking out my place. I didn't dare go home or send someone else just in case the cops picked them up.

Why did Dex have to take his stash with him and leave his shitton of paperwork? I needed meds, and soon, my skin constantly felt like it was crawling from the anxiety.

I didn't know who to ask now that Dex was MIA, and admitting I needed it to just survive was fucking annoying. I knew I would start shaking within the next day and soon after that the cramps and blurry vision would start. Last time I tried to go cold turkey, I ended up in the looney bin; I wouldn't let that happen again. Especially in this city.

I decided to go through the mountain of folders left behind, hoping I would find a contact or something that would point me toward a drug connection. He had to have had dirt on a doctor or something to get quality meds, right? If I could find the information, I could continue on and get some. Hells, at any rate, it was better than watching the circle jerk that was the news.

Dex took notes like his life had depended on them, unfortunately his organizational skills were non-existent. There was a pattern to it but it made my head hurt trying to figure out why things like completed hangman games were filed with roster assignments, or why take out menus were in with receipts from drycleaners that weren't anywhere near them. And that didn't even cover the chicken scratch and shorthand that didn't make complete sense.

"Hey girl, what you up to?" I looked up from the pile of what looked scribed inhuman dicks to see Eesh standing there. She had on an oversized floppy hat that made her look both adorable and ridiculous. I couldn't help staring at it, it seemed so out of character for her. Well, at least the her I knew from the media image.

"Trying to figure out this shit that Dex left." I waved a page of dicks at her.

"I recognize those dicks, those are Johnny's," she said with a laugh as she took the page. "He loves driving Dex up a wall with them. One time, he replaced all the of the venn diagrams on Dex's senior project with venn dick-a-grams. Honestly, I'm not surprised he didn't have a stroke as pissed as he was," she chuckled. "He still got a B on it with remarks on his interesting art choices." She laid the page down and poked through the piles. "So, what you looking for?"

"Anything that would point to where Dex fucked off to. Is this usual for him to just ghost when things calm down?" Something about Dex pegged him as one of those people that needed to always be in a high-stress situation.

She shrugged. "Dex has always been one of those guys who need to micromanage everything, or attempt to, at least." Explains why he ran the center of operations. "I think it's because he's the youngest of seven, always being told what to do and all that jazz."

"Seven?" I winced at the idea. While Babette wasn't always around that much growing up, when she was, she always tried to mother me. Sometimes I didn't mind it but other times I wanted to punch her in the tit, especially after our mother died.

"Yeah, he's the black sheep, only one without some highfalutin career. Kinda hard to get one since the city got rid of its college program. We were all going to go to Stil U, but senior year the city changed its mind about it being free and none of us could afford to go. That's why I got into music. Here you either do that or shake your ass and I don't do that for no less than eight figures," she said with a wink.

"I've seen your music videos. I almost broke my hip trying to copy your dance."

"Yeah, leave that stuff to girls with actual asses," she said solemnly and patted my shoulder.

I gave her a dirty look and turned back to the pile. I had an ass, damnit. Sure, it wasn't exactly impressive, like Eesh's but it was there.

"Are you serious?" I looked over to see her looking at the prenuptial agreement I had left on the workstation. "How much money do you have?"

I snatched the papers away from her and shoved them in a drawer. I didn't answer her, just glared at her.

"No wonder you know how to handle abductions, that wasn't your first rodeo was it?"

I shook my head, hoping she would drop it. I didn't want to talk about ancient history. Some things were better left in the past. Especially at times when I was starting to ache from withdrawal. "I thought you were supposed to be going out with your boy toy," I said in hopes of changing the subject.

"Nah, John's got himself in a fit since the popo shut down his favorite Freckle Bitch's. The cops have been camped out there since Thursday."

"Go to another one?" I suggested with some confusion.

"Can't, Freckle's doing this promo where they have like location-only stuff. He loves the white sauce at that one. I swear that boy would get fat on nuggets if he wasn't always running around like a fool." She grinned. "He's been banned at my family's barbecues ever since he fought with my Uncle Mike over what sauce is better. How two grown men can get in a fist fight about tzatziki sauce is beyond me."

"Tzatziki sauce is serious business, you know. There was a riot at school once because the administration thought they could swap it with ranch. Cheaper or some shit." Which showed that no matter how much money they had, schools were all too willing to cut shit to line their pockets. "So, what you doing here?"

"Bored out of my mind, being dead sucks. Was thinking about putting some makeup on and hanging out in the graveyard and scaring some emos, but ... meh." She shrugged.

"See, that's why you should have faked a coma. Comfy bed, people fawning over you, cute nurses," I teased.

"I'd rather scream at emos. The goths not so much. I swear they're so jaded sometimes. I just want to hug them and say it's okay."

"As a former goth, I can assure you, you'd either get no reaction or you'd get bit."

"You? Really?" She grinned.

"Phase about two years ago, did the whole hair and pale makeup thing."

"You just didn't mosizertize for a week, didn't you?"

"Basically. I am one ashy motherfucker without my regimen. " She nodded in solidarity. "Speaking of, why the hell is it so hard to get Troy to moisturize? Like, I gave him some one time and he just looked at me like I was insane."

"He's white. What do you expect?" She shrugged. "Please, tell me he at least uses a washcloth." The disgusted tone made me snort with amusement.

"Oh gods, I know right? But yes he does." A little flare of panic piped up as I realized I was running out of things to talk about. "What about Johnny?"

"Oh girl, he's in the bathroom longer than anyone else I know. Has to do his hair, then his creams, then his nails, then his hair again because the steam's wilted it by time he's almost done."

"Wait, he does his nails?" I wasn't surprised by a guy having them done, after all, Papa used to get his done every week with me but a tough bravado type like Johnny doing his own-that was surprising.

"He's got the softest hands," she said with a dreamy smile.

"Never noticed." Which was truthful, Johnny was never high on my "pay attention to me" scale. There were a lot of things not on that scale I hadn't been paying attention to I realized. I hadn't thought Dex was the type to ditch, Julius foolish enough to get kidnapped, nor Johnny smart enough to run things, if needed. All my focus had been on myself and Troy. How much had I been missing in my self-absorption?

"What a fucking hipster," Eesh said as she pulled out a thing. A cassette maybe? I think it was a cassette, I hadn't seen one since I was a kid. "I swear half the reason I went with Kingdom Come is just so I wouldn't have to listen to Dex go on about audio quality." She pulled out a folder it had been in and plopped it on the table. "Let's see, we got an old article, a map, and notes in ..." she squinted. "Are you kidding me, is that Latin?"

I peeked at the notes in question, my head starting to hurt just looking at it.

"Romanes eunt domus," I muttered. "How does Dex know Latin, much less proper Latin?"

"He was in the AP language class for fun." She rolled her eyes. "He had a full ride to Stil U until Winslow cancelled the scholarship program. Joined the Saints the next day." She pursed her lips. "Probably should ask Johnny about the accounts, he probably took money and left for school elsewhere. Still, leave a note, jerk." She rummaged through the drawers and pulled out a tape player, putting in the cassette she found. "I swear if it's just him reading Latin my eyes are going to roll into space."

XXX

"Okay, explain this shit to me," Johnny said as he leaned against the railing. "How are you with the shittiest aim able to shoot anything?" He waved at the RPG launcher I was holding. "And how the fuck aren't you freaking out with the heights?" He motioned at the drop that would definitely kill us if we fell.

"Is everyone in place?" I snapped more than asked. I didn't want to talk. I wanted them all dead. Burning, screaming, crying. This whole city could die for all I cared.

"Been in place, just waiting on these slow as fuck fuckers to hurry up."

"Funeral processions are supposed to be slow."

"Yeah, well, make sure mine isn't. Have that thing going eighty miles an hour with my corpse strapped to the roof with both middle fingers up." He was grinning like a loon. His smile slowly wilted under my glare. I wasn't in a laughing mood. "You, uh, taking your meds?"

"Fuck you."

"I mean, here? Okay." His hand went to his pants.

"I swear to gods above and below if I see a hint of flesh I'm going to explode both of us."

"Shit, Ang. I was just playing." I could feel my eye twitching at that nickname. That fucking nickname that fucking bastard gave me.  _Just a piece of ass._  Troy's voice echoed in my head. It took all my willpower to not grab my head and scream to shut him out. Again.

"Angelique. My gods be damned name is Angelique," I snapped.

"Sheesh, fucking chill." He turned away from my stony glare. It was just as well, he didn't need see my facade starting to crack. The urge to scream until my throat was raw, to cut at my skin to release the tension, and the underlying urge to just toss my useless self off this high as balls building rode me. I petted the RPG launcher, I was going to kill them all. Every bloody pig. From the top to the bottom and somewhere in there, I would find Troy.

"Load me up," I said to Johnny as the funeral procession turned the corner.

They would all pay.

I was not just a piece of ass.

I was Angelique Capulet, daughter of drug barons and I would carve a legacy of blood my father would cringe at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments. I really needed them lately <3


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Thank you once again to my lovely beta readers, Chyrstis and Hunny. <3

 

Chapter 47

In a guy's life there were levels of hardness. There was your normal, which was for everyday business, then there was your steel which was for special occasions and fancy apparel, and then there was diamond level. Diamond was that hard to get level, it was the kind that took very special requirements to get it.

For Johnny, at this very moment, it was the flaming wreckage, the screams of cops, and the lady next to him screaming in French. Sure, he knew violence getting him hard wasn't exactly a good thing, but it wasn't the violence per se, it was the aura of badassery coming off of Ang that had him pulling a diamond at the moment.

He had a thing for that type of aura, got diamond level every time Eesh took the stage, which unfortunately wasn't often. His girl would never admit it, but she had bad stage fright but every time she overcame it… Just damn. That shit was hot.

"Reload!" Ang… excuse him, Angelique's angry voice snapped him out of his thoughts that were starting to drift towards that curve of Aisha's back that always made her moan ever so softly when he ran his lips over it.

"I think you got them all," he said, as he leaned over and looked over the edge at the flaming wrecks.

"Don't do that," she snapped, grabbing the back of his shirt. She pulled, throwing him off balance, and he flailed, grabbing for her. There was a high pitched scream, which most definitely didn't come from him, and they both tumbled over the side.

XXX

Troy was having a bad day, he realized, as he stared down at his shoes. Perhaps it was the stress, or maybe the fact that he hadn't worn anything but velcro for the last five years since a stray lace could be the death of him, but he couldn't remember how to tie a dress shoe suddenly.

Shit, when was the last time he even wore dress shoes? Or fuck, even his dress blues?

He looked at himself in the mirror hanging on the door. That didn't look like him. He didn't recognize the cop in the mirror. It was who he was though. Wasn't it? He didn't know anymore. He ran his hand through his short hair. The buzz cut felt unnatural after having his hair long, though not as unnatural as having a bare face again. He looked like a babyfaced punk.

He sighed, rubbing his hands over his weirdly bare face. He didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

No. He knew.

He just didn't want to finish what he started.

He sighed again, eyeing the rotary phone sitting on the table. It was his only source of entertainment since there wasn't even a TV in the tiny cabin Monroe had thrown him in with instructions to be ready today. The phone taunted him as without his cell he didn't know any numbers. Ang's number was among them as ever since he had gotten his first cell at sixteen he had stopped memorizing them. He wanted to call her, warn her away, apologize, anything. But he was cut off from everyone. Well, not everyone.

"Fuck it," he said as he picked up the handset and started the long dial process.

"Bradshaw Residence." The stern curt voice made him wince. This was a bad idea. But like a fool he decided to plow ahead for the greater good.

"Hey Ma."

"Hey Ma? Is that all you have to say?" The venom laced in her voice made his skin crawl. How many times had he heard it? It was always the tone he heard whenever he came home. It was why he had stopped visiting, using work as excuse. Hell, if he was being honest, it was probably the reason he went undercover. "I raised you better than this, Troy Roderick Bradshaw."

"You kicked me out at fourteen Ma. You're lucky I call at all," he snapped, regretting it immediately. He knew that never phased her, and in the end he would just feel worse. "And you know I'm working," he said in a softer tone. "I'm not supposed to be calling, but I'm going to be getting out soon."

"Oh, well let me just put my Sunday best on! I told you not take that job, that city took your Uncle Jack. And one day it'll take you." He rolled his eyes as the fake sobs started up. She always had to make everything about her.

"Ma, look, I'm kinda in a bad spot, I need you to look up a number for me."

"Oh, of course, you're in a bad spot, your kind always are. If you would stop sinning and come back to God, your life would be better."

"Ma."

"No, don't you 'ma' me young man. I don't hear from you for three years-"

"I called on Mother's Day," he interrupted her.

"And now you need me," she continued on like a train on fire, "just like always, never caring about anyone else but yourself and your ungodly desires."

"Jesus fucking Christ Ma, can you just not for two fucking minutes."

"You watch your tone or I will hang up this phone."

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he mouthed the words mockingly as she spoke."Just look up the number, please. There's a girl, I need to keep her safe," he said with a sigh.

"A girl? Well, why didn't you say so?" His mother was practically cooing at the idea of him dating. "So, where is she from and how did you meet her?"

"Work, and she's from New Orleans."

"Oh, a southern belle!" He winced as he heard the dial up squeal. He thought Lisa was going to get real internet installed, but he guessed his mother stonewalled her like always. "Does she have that drawl they have down there?" When he didn't answer she huffed. "What did you need me to look up?"

"Saint Augustine Church in Stilwater," he said slowly, knowing how she pecked at the keys. "She's there a lot."

"Oh, praise the Lord, a good Catholic girl!" He could almost hear her eyes narrow. "She is a  _good_  Catholic, isn't she?"

"Ma."

She harrumphed but stopped questioning. "Oh my, would you look at that, Sodom and Gomorrah is in the news."

"What?"

"That city," she hissed.

"Yes, yes, no greater hive of scum and villainy."

"I would take this more seriously, young man. It says here that the mayor's funeral was bombed by terrorists. I've never seen a negro with red hair. Do you think it's one of those new trends? Those types always seem-"

His mother's usual 'I'm not a racist, but...' rant fell on deaf ears as the world screeched to a stop, his blood ran cold and his stomach lurched. He had only been gone a week.  _What the fuck had happened?_

"I got to go, and Ma. Nineteen-sixty called, no one uses negro anymore."

XXX

"Would you stop fucking screaming and get off my dick?" Johnny sighed. "Look, if you don't fucking let go, I can't pull us up and we're going to be here all day," he said more gently, his hand petting my hair for a moment. My mouth snapped closed and I tried to glare at him without opening my eyes. Falling and the sudden stop had killed all of my bravado, I was quite certain I was going to die. No, not die, I was going to break my neck and end up paralyzed for the rest of my life.

"Are you seriously fucking hard?" I screeched.

"What? All this excitement got me excited. You can't tell me you ain't a little wet?" I could almost hear the eyebrow waggle.

"No!" If anything my pants were probably wet from pissing myself.

"Lame." I could feel him shifting, his hand trailing down my back to grip my belt and suddenly we were moving up. "Could you stop being a bitch and actually help?"

"Non, I cannot." If I opened my eyes again, I was going to pass out or worse, make an actual mess of myself.

"Jesus, how the fuck do you go from total badass to pussy bitch in ten seconds?" he complained as he hauled us back up over the edge.

"I'm terrified of heights, you dick."

"Okay, but how'd you man up enough to come up here?" he asked as he got us vertical again. I heard a door open and was finally able to open my eyes again.

"I, um, did a line of coke," I admitted. It wasn't the first time I had done the drug; no, that had been one of the reasons I had ended up being sent to a boarding school, which my father didn't realize was basically a breeding ground for addicts. The fearlessness I felt after doing a line, like I wouldn't and couldn't die was amazing. All my anxiety gone in a moment and I could let go of my anger. Or maybe that had been the RPG launchers.

"Are you a fucking idiot? You have any idea what the shit does?" Of all the people I expected outrage from, Johnny wasn't one of them.

"Pardon?"

"That shit will fuck you up, seriously the hardest thing you should do, especially since you pop those pills, is pot." He glared at me. I squared my shoulders and glared back.

"You aren't my father," I snapped. "Now, let's go and get the gang ready," I ordered. Even with the chief of police, hopefully, dead, I knew there would be someone to take over and with Troy having sold us out, the gang would have to be protected. I wasn't going to let them get hurt because of a stupid ass cop I had been fucking. This was my mistake and I would take care of it.

XXX

"I'm Jane Valderama with channel six news. The city is quiet, holding its breath as it's held hostage by not only the police, but also the Saints. Or that is what we have been told. In truth, the only forces on the streets have not been wearing purple, but rather blue. Citizens all over the city are reporting that the Saints have simply disappeared."

I rolled my eyes at the TV. Disappeared. Right, that's what happens when you tell people to stop fucking flying colors.

Honestly, we were the only gang in the city, flying colors was stupid at this point. Probably had always been stupid. No, it definitely had always been stupid. We shouldn't be able to just spot friend or foe by sight unless we knew them. It was probably how Troy had gotten in the gang, just showed up in purple and asked how the cool kids were.

I looked over at Johnny who was cuddling with Aisha and tried not to be bitter. Troy had seemed the same way, all cuddling and sweet, but in truth he had been nothing more than a traitorous snake.

How the hell had I been so damn stupid? I wondered if he was among the dead that had been listed. After all, who knows what his real name was. I chewed my lip, silently cursing myself as the thought made me want to crawl inside a bottle.

I needed answers from him before I bashed his head in. Non, there was going to be no bashing. Non, I was going to make his life hell. How dare he think that he could use me? I would find out what made me so weak to him and then I would spend the rest of his life making him miserable. He would be my plaything, I would be the one with all the power and he would regret it all.

If he was still alive.

"I'm going to head out," I said, standing up.

"You good?" Johnny asked. I just shrugged. "Let me know what we're doing next, boss." I glared at him.

"Non, just non. I am not the boss of this gang and never will be." He shifted and dug out his phone and aimed it at me.

"You wanna repeat that, so I can play it back at you later?"

"One, fuck you. You aren't always right."

"Except when I am," he interrupted.

"And two, I am not the boss and never will be."


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you to Chyrstis and Hunny. You two are the best <3

I was an adult. I wasn't a child anymore. I didn't care if I wasn't even a year into being an adult, I was a gods-be-damned adult and I wasn't going to let anyone make me feel like a child damn it.

"Angelique, I'm waiting for an answer." I slunk down further in my seat and crossed my arms. "Don't sit like that, child, you're going to end up with a hump." I grumbled and sat in my seat properly. Listening to him was an old habit, after all Jean-Baptiste De Sauveterre was not only the family lawyer, but also my godfather.

"I'm not going back, this is my home now," I said as I played with my grits, which were undercooked and flavorless. I knew people couldn't make them right up here, so why I bothered ordering it was beyond me. At least the ham steak and eggs were cooked properly.

"Angelique, come now, what could you possibly see in this city? I have never encountered a stench quite like it." I smothered a laugh at the disdain on his face, which threatened to burst out when he gracefully wiped his nose with his embroidered handkerchief.

"It grows on you," I said with a shrug. "I'm not leaving. This is my city now."

"Your city? No, your home is-"

"It's gone. Papa took it away from me," I said firmly.

He pursed his lips and fiddled with his own food."Your father made a grievous mistake-"

"Is that what we're calling it?" I scoffed at him. "Papa's mistake would have had me servicing anyone with a nickel," I hissed, "excuse, a ruble. Dmitri was going to have me whore the debt off. Should I have let every comer come in me? On me? However, because of Papa's mistake?"

 _You'll work off your father's debts, won't you?_ I shook my head, trying to clear that voice out of my head. Four in, seven out. I put up my hand, warding him off as he tried to reach out and pat my hand. He looked hurt but quickly hid it, drawing himself up.

"Why didn't you come to me, Angelique? I would have protected you." His voice was soft, the same way Papa's could be when he was covering up his emotions.

"I was scared. I wanted my sister. And I didn't want anyone to get hurt." People had gotten hurt though. So many people. No, I wasn't going to think about it. I was going to shove it into the furthest reaches of my mind and lock it away. Though probably with my luck, it would come out when least convenient, because fuck me, right? "I have protection here. This is my home now."

He motioned at my tattoo which made me reach up and rub it before I forced myself to stop and sit up straight. "I've seen that everywhere, I'm guessing it's not for our city's football team?"

"The Saints. We rule the city." Part of me suspected Julius had chosen the gang's name only due to how easy it was to get merchandise.

"So, you ran away from home and joined some gang?" He shook his head. "You're just like your father, you know. Running from bad to worse."

"I didn't just join some gang." I took a deep breath, it was time I stopped lying to myself. "I made this gang what it is." The words tasted wrong on my lips, but it was true. I had been the one doing all the dirty work, from running drugs to killing people. I was the one who had been out there busting my ass. Not Julius. Me. "I'm the boss."

A faint smile cracked his lips. "Well now, that changes things."

XXX

"Who the fuck is Colonel Sanders here, and does he know the secret spices?" I cringed as Johnny opened his mouth. Out of everything he could have said, he had to say the one thing I had seen Jean-Baptiste sue a man into an early grave over. Of course, I would never inform him that he rather did look like the mascot with his white hair and suit. He'd give me that famous look of disappointment that only southerners knew how to give with such aplomb.

"Laisse-moi deviner, il est les muscles de votre petite gang? Ou il est la beauté?"  _Let me guess, he's the brawn of your little gang? Or is he the beauty?_  Even though he was speaking French, the look on Johnny's face made it clear he could hear the condescension in Jean-Baptiste's tone.

"Il est effectivement assez intelligent, il a les qualifications d'organisation impressionnant." _He's actually rather smart, he has impressive organization skills._

"Ah, si, il est exactement comme votre père. C'est une bonne chose que vous prenez votre mère."  _Ah, so he's exactly like your father. It's a good thing you take after your mother_. He paused, the look on his face making me narrow my eyes. "Dans certaines régions, vous faites, mais vous prenez après Benoît dans de nombreux." _In some areas you do, but you do take after Benedict in many._

"Hey would the two of you like to pick a language I can fucking understand?" Johnny snapped.

"And which language would that be young man? I reckon English isn't your forte with that vulgar language."

"Fuck. You."

"Il a le même tempérament comme votre père. Je suggère que vous n'obtenez pas impliqué romantiquement avec lui."  _He has the same temperment like your father. I suggest you don't get involved romantically with him._  My face flamed with his comment.

"Why the fuck are you blushing? What did he just say?" Johnny demanded. "Can you French fucks knock it off?"

"Non," we both said.

"Is everyone in these?" I asked holding up the roster binder Dex had left behind. Johnny took it for a moment, giving it a once over.

"Yeah, we haven't had any new canonizations since everyone fucked off."

"Keep it that way, Monsieur Gat," Jean-Baptiste said as he took the binder and put it in his briefcase.

"Seriously, one of you better fucking explain before I lose my impatience and start throwing punches."

"Mr. De Sauveterre is, was my father's lawyer. He's ours now."

"Why the fuck do we need a lawyer? We own this city."

I chewed my lip, trying to figure out how to explain it to him.

"Monsieur Gat, no one is above the law. You may have taken out part of the local forces, however, there are other forces that will come for you. My job is to keep you children out of jail."

"I ain't a fucking child, and we don't need your fucking help."

"Actually we do." I took a deep breath. "There was an undercover cop in the gang." The look of murder on Johnny's face almost made me take a step back.

"Who the fuck is it?"

XXX

"Mr. Little, we're offering a generous deal here," Mr. Randall said as he pushed the papers towards Julius. Troy sucked on his cig as he watched the pair. Randall was the city's scum-sucking DA, who never seemed to want to do his job if it required actual work. He knew the lazy attorney was one of the people who suggested that undercover agents be sent in, get as much information as possible, and to keep the agents coming while doing as little work as possible on his end.

He wanted to punch both of them. Repeatedly. Alas, he was already banned from the room after he had decked Julius the first time. Bastard was flipping on the gang faster than a Waffle House in a hurricane.  _Where was the loyalty? Or at least the illusion of it._  Christ, he had more loyalty to the gang and he had been a traitor.

Now, he stood there helpless to save anyone else. Ang and Johnny were going down for Julius. He narrowed his eyes as Julius placed another sin on Ang's shoulders, throwing a smirk to the mirror Troy stood on the other side of. Julius just shoveled more and more shit onto Ang. He knew the bastard was doing it just to fuck him over.

That snide condescending look was much like his mother's, and made him want to bash Julius' face in. He knew there were still a few crooked cops left untouched by the Saints' rampage, he could arrange an accident… No, he couldn't do that. He had to go straight, crookedness was the whole reason all this shit had happened. He could fix this. He would fix this.

He'd keep Ang safe, and Johnny as safe as possible.

Johnny had always been too flashy, too ready to be the face of violence, there was no way to spare him from prison without getting dirtier. He'd make sure he didn't end up on death row at least. He owed him that much though Johnny wouldn't appreciate it. No one would appreciate what he was going to do.

XXX

Johnny's fist collided with my kidney as I tried to unsuccessfully dodge him. I hadn't expected this to turn into a fight. I didn't want to tell him yet about Troy, to admit that I was stupid enough to sleep with a cop and not see the signs. Going to see his sponsor for a drug addiction? More like seeing cops to rat us all out. Though, he had been good at the act, not liking his crew to do any of the drugs, or me to have my meds until he saw one of my stupid panic attacks.

"Fuck you!," Johnny yelled as I kicked at his brace-supported knee. He suddenly sprang forward, knocking us both to the floor.

"Children."

"Shove it, Chicken Man," Johnny snapped over his shoulder, my fist colliding with with his face when he turned back. I wrapped my legs around his chest and squeezed with all my might. "Jesus, you're going to break my ribs, get off," he growled, wheezing slightly.

"Not until you drop it," I said, as I squeezed harder. I could feel his bones creaking, I could break a watermelon between my thighs with no problem, I wondered if it was possible to break him just as easily.

"Fuck you, tell me who it is!" He was too busy trying to get my legs apart to bother to punch me again.

"Non, I'm handling it. You wanted me to be the fucking boss of this gang, you're fucking getting it and we're doing things my fucking way." He glared at me, it finally sinking in from the look in his eyes. I wasn't prepared for the sudden press of his lips against mine, time slowed to a crawl, he tasted sweet, his lips soft as silk, the lack of facial hair a stark contrast to Troy's.

Time sped back up as I practically kicked him across the room, his snorting laughter making my face flame even more.

"Knew you'd freak out and let me go," he said as he offered me a hand up. I glared at him but it didn't faze him or lessen that cocky smile of his.

"What the fuck, Gat?" I snapped as I rubbed my lips, trying to not even think about what just happened.

"Clearly, Monsieur Gat fights dirty. Your father was the same way." The horrified look on my face had Johnny howling with laughter. "He too would refuse to back down from such a situation, and many of his opponents would react similarly."

"Papa wasn't gay," I said dumbly. The idea of him kissing anyone aside from Maman was frankly horrifying. Actually, so was the idea of him being intimate with her.

"Indeed he wasn't, your father was pansexual and quite well-known for his philandering ways. As was your mother, though she called herself bisexual. The two of them could never agree over terms. Your mother, however, was more likely to kiss and then slit their throats, rather than go for the shock factor."

"I need a drink."

"I like your 'rents," Johnny said. "I think I'd get along great with them."

I glared at him with horror as he started waggling his brows at me. I threw a punch at him.

"Okay, I deserve that one," he chuckled, rubbing at his jaw, still grinning at me.

"You did want to know the truth. Now, if you children are done with playtime, let us begin the real work."


End file.
